I'll Be A Homo For Christmas

Rusty Warren?

Knockers up, R1!

Inn't that cute? Inn't that true?

Merry Christmas! 🎁

You cut off his hands! You cut off his feet!

How could you Mrs. Dickie?!?!?!

More Dusty

I've taken the liberty of transcribing Dusty's "Twas the Night Before Christmas"

Twas the night before Christmas When all through the house I could hear something stirring It was my husband, that louse I screamed down the stairs "Jack, get back in this bed!" But heard not a word From the weasel I'd wed. So I slipped on my housecoat and stockings with care But except for those items My body was bare. I searched the whole house But my search was in vain And visions of homicide danced in my brain. When out on the lawn there arose such a sound, I ran to the door and tore open my gown. The moon on my breasts in the new-fallen snow Gave the luster of youth that I had long ago. And what to my baby blue eyes did appear, But a man dressed in red from his head to his rear. From the leer in his eye to the hump in his back, I knew in a flash that it must be my Jack. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled and shouted and called me by name Now Dusty! Now Dusty! Now Dusty! Please Dusty! Now Dusty! Oh Dusty! Please Dusty! Now Dusty! His eyes, how they twinkled His dimples, how merry! His legs were like fir trees His chest was so hairy. But a wink of his eye and a jerk of his head Soon gave me to know I had something to dread. He stood there just smiling and rubbing his nose So I gave him the nod And up the staircase he rose. He sprang to the bedroom and whistled so sweet That I followed his call like a heifer in heat. And you could hear us both scream as we dove undercover Merry Christmas to all And to all a good lovin'

SCTV is a Wonder of the World, right up there with The Colossus of Rhodes, The Hanging Gardens of Babylon and The Terror of Tiny Town.

Don't you wish this was a real Christmas special? Elton John - Merman - Orson Welles, and a Daddy with a whip!