Straight women's gaydar

That has not been my experience...

Said no one, ever.

Stupid FRAUS marry gay men all the time then years later are shocked when their husbands come out of the closet.

The swish gives it away op

... is usually terrible and unreliable.

Absolutely not.

OP, if you are gay and know straight women, can't you answer this question yourself?

I used to call bullshit because gay men's gaydar is based on those subtle bits of eye contact and that moment where you're both assessing sexual interest (and/or immediate assesment of lack thereof), not on how someone dresses or other ridiculous stuff that some women claim is gaydar.

However, a woman friend of mine who is very hot once explained women's gaydar that it's the opposite of gay men's gaydar. They can tell because the same glance that gay men use to assess whether there is sexual interest, some women can tell because there isn't any.

Hot women are constantly oggled by men - constantly. Whether the guy stands a chance or not or is with his wife or gf or not. Guys are always checking out hot women. So, when a guy doesn't take a quick glance at her boobs when speaking to her or doesn't eye fuck her, boom - gaydar.

My experience is that straight women's gaydar is abysmally bad. Many of the frauen tend to idealize gentle and sensitive men as the perfect mate, and so their fantasies crowd out the realities that a higher proportion of such men are gay, hence what r3 said.

I just read the comment of r8 , and yes, I agree-- [italic] when [/italic] women have gaydar, that's how it happens. But I wonder, is that really gaydar, or is it "That man isn't totally taken with me--there must be something wrong with him!", which is a little different?

If straight womens' gaydar is so great so many of them wouldn't unknowingly marry gay men.

When you spend a lot of time around gay men you get a feel for these things, it can become a subconscious sense. Most straight people have very little gaydar unless they have close gay friends.

No OP.

Straight women think all men are straight. When they find one, it's like they've found a unicorn.

My mother always suspected that my cousin was gay and I thought she was crazy. I don't know how she guessed it, but he ended up coming out years later. No one else suspected it.

Big surprise you’re all trashing women’s intuition on this thread.

Oh just fuck off R15.

Oh dear R15, I fear you're lost. Jezebel and LSA are that way.

I actually think straight men have a better gaydar than str8 women.

Agreed r8

So as per R8 and R19, only hot young women have gaydar?

The old fat ones don't?

I don't want to trash women. Women are the best. My experience, though, is that women are generally surprised to learn that I'm gay. I just as puzzled that they don't already know.

If a guy is effeminate no one needs gaydar.

Mine is excellent, always has been.

No.

Also R22: If the sun is shining it is daytime.

I'm gay, so I can spot em a mile away w/ laser precision. It goes whoop, whoop!

R25 Sorry but the way people are posting here it's like they think the only way a woman (or man) an identify a gay man is by some elaborate process of detection, which I find funny. Some gays are definitely straight-acting/passing but a lot are not.

My gaydar hasn’t worked since the early months of 1964.

*can identify

[quote]So as per [R8] and [R19], only hot young women have gaydar?

[quote]The old fat ones don't?

When did DL become so comfortable with reductio ad absurdum.

No. Women's gardar, when it works, is like the photo negative of gay men's gaydar. Where gay men assess sexual interest, women who actually have it are sufficiently attuned to assess lack of interest.

While easier, it doesn't have to be directed at them, but can be observed in watching the interactions of others, obviously.

R30 Well then I guess elderly women have no gaydar if they are alone with a young gay man?

I would say my gaydar is never based on someone checking me out. That would be something else - observation, not gaydar.

And when guys are old and unattractive does their gaydar suddenly go away? I think It's more like a sixth sense, or an instinct.

[quote][R30] Well then I guess elderly women have no gaydar if they are alone with a young gay man...

I stand by my previous statement: When did DL become so comfortable with reductio ad absurdum.

[quote] women who actually have it are sufficiently attuned to assess lack of interest.

There are some instances where a woman assumes that if a guy isn't attracted to her, he must be gay.

Based on the number of times women have hit on me, I would say, No.

[quote]women who actually have it are sufficiently attuned to assess lack of interest.

[quote]There are some instances where a woman assumes that if a guy isn't attracted to her, he must be gay.

Then, she has a flawed gaydar, doesn't she?

R32 I just don't think gaydar is based on observation of interest, or lack of interest, from the other person. I have never assessed someone being gay through how much or little they show sexual interest in me. For me, it's based on something entirely different. That's my opinion, even though I can't say it in Latin.

*I mean of course if a male is showing interest in me, I know they're gay - I'm not talking about that. I just mean random people you meet.

Can straight women tell if another woman is gay?

Good question^. I'm a gay man and I cannot tell unless a lesbian is masculine in appearance.

Yes, of course.

I get unstable energy at times and have noticed couple occasions I wanted to be flirty. I’m like a Kinsey 5 so this type of situation only happens once in a blue moon and then quickly dissipates.

R31- Gaydar does not have to be in person. I can watch a movie or tv show and see an actor and I'm able to tell he's gay even if he's playing a straight character. Some male celebs that I've never seen/met in real life I figured out are gay all on my own.

The reverse gaydar point - it’s not always just puzzlement that “hey that guy isn’t checking me out, what’s the deal” - some women are quite taken with gay men because it’s wonderful to meet a guy who’s not acting like a creep and is having a genuine conversation rather than just trying to manipulate you into bed.

Remember, fellas, straight and bi women have much much more selection of men than gay men .

No, but straight men can always spot a homo in a crowd.

Straight men are always accusing [italic]each other[/italic] of being homo. I wouldn't rely on their judgment...

What r8 said.

I know this will read like a variation of the old DL joke "I'm 60 but I look 35" but here goes.

Yesterday, when I was a young, heterosexual, good-looking woman who liked to drink and have one night-stands ( I wanted Mr. Right Now, not Mr. Right, and, with rare exceptions, succeeded) I didn't need Gaydar.

I had my Strai-dar.

Men who are exclusively attracted to having sex with women are unmistakable. When interacting with you, they have automatic, reflexive body and facial movements, that, like a neon sign say, "please have sex with me." It's so apparent in how they interact with you.

I guess I do have Gaydar, too. There is a certain absence of those same indicators with gay men. I'm probably right 98% of the time when guessing that the man I'm interacting with is Gay.

I too, am a heterosexual woman who marvel at women who claim they didn't know their boyfriend or husband is gay. I guess I'll have to take them at their word.

But, no ifs, ands, or buts about it, I'd know if "my" man was gay. I'd know by intuition, instinct or just plain old powers of observation and deduction.

R47- You go gurl

My ex-wife's gaydar was "flawed."

After my divorce but still living in the same area, I was approached by several women asking me out for drinks.

However, there were several women who knew early on I was gay before I came out.

No, they’re the worst at it as far as I can tell

If I'm attracted to a man, that is a guarantee for him being gay. I guess it's because they don't feel as threatening as straight men.

I'm a straight woman and when it comes to strangers on the street I can only tell if someone is obviously gay. But once I start to get to know someone say at work I can usually tell after a short time even if they don't talk about themselves.

Gay men are usually a little prissier. Rarely are they slobs: the hair is in place, the face shaved or neatly trimmed, the clothes are clean and often color coordinated. They wear cologne.

I went to a casino recently and the straight men looked like they slept in their clothes. I was the only one not wearing a coat (left it in the car).

r41, so you are a bisexual man?

R54 Long enough that when men annoy me I go to the straight porn for 10 minutes. Very specific stuff. Then men are appealing again. Like hairy and hung. Can’t explain it.

R28 Mine doesn’t work either.

My gaydar is impeccable!

"straight" (they always fool around, as teenagers at least, but who cares ?) women are the dumbest species on earth. They invented and "support" gay rights so as not to end up married to a poofter, as per centuries. And still fail. next stop is the mandatory pink star, just like in the old days

R58 - Please tell us of your personal experiences of living in 1920s-40s Germany as a gay man, lieber älterer schwuler

[quote] straight men can always spot a homo in a crowd.

Yes, he's the one on his knees in the men's room.

It runs the continuum between clued in and clueless. When you hear about women seemingly and unwittingly in lavender marriage, they often say friends and family with good gaydar gave concerns early on, but warnings were disbelieved and ignored. Love is blind. I feel badly when someone gets used this way in this day and age.