Have You Ever Been Told to Watch your back in them streets

OP = Michael Feinstein

Well it was a first for me too...

OP, you lost me at "Liza".

Creating writing is not your thing, OP

Is this the 2022 iteration of the "Move it along, toots" troll?

R3, I knew I would get scorn because this is DL and all. But that is indeed my coworkers name.

Lame attempt at humor, and poor writing skills

Tell me more! Tell me more!

I can't state my opinion until I know how attractive every character in your story is.

0/10

R9, the impatient tuxedo man was fairly good looking. Likely mid to late 30s. He just looked very tired. I suspect he was coked up. Gave me strong Charlie Sheen vibes.

Liza, well she's Liza. Very cute when she was younger. Lets just say she has heart of gold now. And of course I'm a ten.

And no your sarcasm wasn't lost on me.

Why is this true story so hard to fathom?

True story R12?

Your tale needs more cowbell OP.

More shit brick houses too R14. Perhaps a tiny cocklet or two thrown in for good measure.

OP, I feel for you. It's tough to write in English when it's not your first, second, or third language. But you deserve credit for trying!

I don't know what's more disturbing that a woman would curse us over a prime roast and long lines or the fact that DL of all places does not believe me.

I will pray for humanity.

I did laugh at We don’t need to know that!

R16 Stfu you reductive cunt. Go away and find a grammar nazi to play with.

Its not hard to fathom its just hard to care about R12

R20 Understandable. That's whats wrong with society today. Everyone is Me, me, me all the time. That was on perfect display during my trip to whole foods today.

I’d take OP’s ESTs but we already predicted the numbers.

R22, the fact that you doubt this is triggering.

Can all the haters please leave the thread.

Too many people are suffering from long covid brain fog these days, and that makes their writing atrocious. Every news article now is full of syntax errors and weird sentence structures. The humanity is doomed.

R24 I agree and I do apologize. I think I do have covid fain brog. It would also explain the behavior of the patrons at Whole Foods today.

Also to add, the remarks from the ghetto BMW driver are her literal words. Her ebonics coupled with a few typos, misplaced commas might be off putting to some.

Liza has been through enough, and now this.

What's off putting is your desperation.

Was Liza on a scooter or were you wheeling her around in a shopping cart?

So the groceries that were placed in your cart by the tuxedoed gentleman, did you actually purchase them? Were they the hit of the corporate luncheon? Did his taste in food match his taste in attire?

R30 Of course we did not purchase them. His tuxedo was wrinkled. And I did not need 2 bottles of champagne, bacon, mozzarella sticks, frozen salmon, kiwi and strawberries. But more importantly I would never trust anyone walking around in wrinkled formal attire.

[quote]I did not need 2 bottles of champagne, bacon, mozzarella sticks, frozen salmon, kiwi and strawberries.

I bet Liza would have loved that though.

This morning Lizza called. Apparently she was drinking over an Ex, and her session with her woke therapist got testy. She's now deluded herself into thinking she was a microaggressor. She wants to track down BMW lady to apologize. I was too tired still to entertain the thought.

I want to know where this ghetto Whole Foods is.

[quote]Perhaps a tiny cocklet or two thrown in for good measure.

PUNY cocklet. Puny.

R34 This Whole Foods isn't ghetto; just a chaotic mess due to staff shortage. Everyone seemed to be on edge and BMW lady was on 10.

This might be the saddest EST ever.

You’ll never guess what happened when I wash out schopping in Whole Foodsh with my dear friend Michael Feinshtein!

R37 Why do you believe this is an EST. Does it offend your sensibilities. Does it affect your ability to be right.

I have never lied on DL. Never have, never will.

R39 I'm a writer and editor, and I can spot inconsistencies a mile away.

You can save whatever bullshit you want to say to defend this for someone who gives a fuck. This is utter horseshit.

R40, what inconsistencies. I left a whole chunk of the story out, and the how argument between Liza and BMW lady truly escalated. My post would be a 2 page essay had I done so.

R41 Write away! I mean one time we had an 8 part thread on these dumbfucks who killed each other over clearing out snow from a parking space. Your story seems way more compelling!

Op is a ten and the story features Liza, a "sassy black woman" and a tuxedo in a grocery store?

So apparently Liza and I were trolled. First of all Liza did not tell me the whole story. She and the black lady had an encountere earlier in the store over the last prime rib. Liza went and grabbed it and the BMW lady said her eyeballs were already on it. "Why would you touch my prime rib with your dusty hands" They had a brief confrontation and Liza walked away after offering the lady 50 bucks. How offensive?

Anyways this was all a farce. BMW lady and tuexo man are hidden camera characters who play pranks on people in public. We've been contacted by the entertainment company and the store. We declined their permission to use our video and likeness.

My my what a crazy, entertaining world we live in today.

R43 thanks for believing me. And to think this was all a prank played on us.

What would YOU do?

2/10

If you had the option to go to Vons, OP, why didn't you go to Vons?

" Today at whole foods was shopping". Oh DEAR!

R44 Whole foods doesn't sell prime ribs you silly whore

I don't understand these boring set. Say what you will about reddit but at least their fabricated stories are entertaining.

Boring ESTs not set. Stupid auto correct.

R50.

Oooops, r50.

R40, for some reason I want you to hate fuck me.