Do you ever regret having been an asshole when you were young and hot ?

What were you ill with? Humblebrag-atitis?

Old and no longer fuckable does not equal nice.

You’re a cunt, OP

Own it.

I was never a "model," but there were some nice guys in my past I wasn't attracted to who I probably should have treated better.

I remember one guy who went to my gym who was really sweet. He wasn't bad looking, but I just didn't feel anything for him. On Valentine's Day, he came to the gym and gave me a bag of heart-shaped cookies. He was really shy, and as soon as he gave them to me, he skedaddled out of the gyn really fast.

I didn't know how to react. When I saw him again, I thanked him for the cookies, but I kind of avoided him after that because I didn't want to lead him on. I'm sure I hurt his feelings, but I really didn't mean to. I still feel bad about that.

Kama's a bitch OP and so are you

You did nothing wrong R4. If you aren't interested you aren't interested. Frankly buying cookies for someone on Valentine's day is weird if you aren't involved with them.

R6 I know, but he really was sweet, and I just kind of kept my distance after that. I should've been nicer.

he had a membership card at your gym, cunt, if you mean, it, find him and make him happy

For me it was all social anxiety. I was really cold towards many guys who were just trying to be friendly because I just didn’t want to deal with interaction. I can see that behavior now it some younger guys who are being bitchy. But I’m generally wise enough to realize it’s them and not me. It’s part of the joy of being young - no guilt.

Much like r9 , I was shy and insecure when I was young . . . and would rebuff guys who would be trying to friendly it up with me simply because I felt as if I'd embarrass myself somehow if things proceeded . . . which came across as a kind of arrogance. I regret that that was "in the cards" for me; but I certainly would have been different had I known how.

Boy am I needed here! Fetch your scented handkerchiefs, Marys.

Cuddles (OP), cookies (R4), cheap gin (the peanut gallery) and regret. This thread alone will keep me in bully sticks for a year.

Once a very nice and good looking young guy I was working with (GAP...I know) shyly invited me to a tea dance. I laughed in his face. a year later I learned that after I had rejected him, a store manager (the bully boss) had purposedly given him the AIDS, and they were both dying.

[quote] Frankly buying cookies for someone on Valentine's day is weird if you aren't involved with them.

Is it? Seems pretty harmless & isn't that what Valentine's Day is for? To shoot your shot and see what happens. It's not like the guy left it on your doorstep & is stalking you - just saying, "Hey, I like you."

Was never hot, but (sapphic drama to follow) in my early-mid twenties I did screw it up with a beautiful younger girl I met and connected with while working for a few months abroad. Looking back it was so petty and stupid to blow up such a good vibe and a chance for a beautiful relationship (or at least, a beautiful summer) over nothing.

We became close and infatuated within a couple of weeks, like looking into each others' eyes and getting lost, sitting on the couch curled up and tangled, going on cute movie dates etc. With every day that I saw her (she came by the house I was staying and working at often), I more and more wanted to be intimate, call her my girlfriend and have her in my life. She was dropping hints that she felt strongly about me too. It didn't even matter to me that while she was my physical type, she didn't have a lot of prospects (neither did I, tbf), and that she had a lot of baggage being a bisexual teen Mom who'd been homeless and part of communes and such. On paper, I'd run away from a girl like this. Still, she captured my heart and my soul and my mind, and had a link to her like nothing else I've ever experienced. We could talk about anything and go anywhere, no matter how banal, and it seemed exciting and in technicolour.

But we never sealed the deal or even got to kiss, all because one evening she'd been having a bad day, and snipped at me then stormed off over something minor (iirc I gave a solicited correction to the little daughter of a friend who we were sitting over spelling in a story she'd written), and so in cruel childish kneejerk retaliation for feeling hard done by, I subtly shaded about her social & wealth status (she and her family are treehugging drifter anarchist types) over dinner at the mutual friend/host we had. I regretted what I said at that table seconds after it came out of my mouth, and upon clearing my throat and quickly sipping water while staring at the floor to cover my blush, I mumbled an apology to the host and went after my girl to apologise. However, roaming the house, I found she'd already taken off (again) and had left, hungry and probably in tears.

I never saw her again after that, though I stayed on at the particular gig and in the house I was working out of for another month. I did see her father, the local odd-job man (and weed/mushy dealer, I assume) a few times after, and though I contritely handed him an apology note to give to her and asked what kind of flowers she liked best so I could get those too, he just shrugged and looked through me and said he didn't know anything about that, couldn't help me. So I presume she never got my message, and to this day some decade later thinks I'm a bitch who just wanted to fuck her or be her disposable bestie. She's not even online, being a granola earth mother of sorts, so I can't even DM or hit her up virtually to set things straight. Unless we by some miraculous chance run into each other one day, that's it, we're through.

Well, I guess it's closure, but it still eats at me to think about it. At this point, I just want to see or talk to her one last time, so I can say I'm genuinely sorry and have her hear it and accept it (or not), nothing else. I don't think we could really be together or make anything solid or longterm work with our hairtrigger chemistry, as much as (I think) I loved and wanted her.

[quote] It’s part of the joy of being young - no guilt.

Gosh, you were lucky. I was born full of guilt over everything, haha.

I'm not that old yet (just entered my 40s) but was never "hot". Handsome enough to get plenty of sex, but not standard good-looking enough to be treated well by any guys who thought they were part of an in-group, you know? I know how hurtful it can be to be on the other side of that - and I was honestly primarily being friendly to make friends first. I was so conscious of how hurt people could get, I tried so hard to treat everyone kindly, sometimes to a self-harming degree. I can't imagine going out of your way to be arrogant and nasty to others just because of your looks. Many of us were bullied when young and I never wanted to turn that on others, but I guess in other cases as they say: hurt people hurt people.

But on reading the above, it's often as I sorta suspected - many of us are just anxious or shy ourselves, and it comes across as being aloof. I think we're often so worried abut what others think of us too.

I suppose I did end up hurting people, though. I find that guys react to me solely based on whether they want to sleep with me or not. If they don't they won't talk to me at all, if they do want to become friends it is for an ulterior motive. When I say I only want to be friends, honestly and kindly, I get dumped by these 'friends' faster than anything, I guess due to embarrassment? One guy told me: as soon as a guy I like doesn't like me back in that way, he needs to not exist to me.

All I wanted for years was a gang of nice gay male friends, like I'd been led to believe would happen once I came out. Now, I do have a small number of gay male friends, but the reason we're friends is the same as the reason I'm friends with straight people and lesbians... because we all have stuff in common and actually really like each other.

Vapid people basing their lives on their own appearance and evaluating others on the same principle.

Yes.

David Aaron. Damn, did I screw that one up.

I found out he died in his mid 30s. Im not sure if it was an illness or suicide. Still bothers me.

"when I was a model" is to DL, what "the dog ate my homework" is to junior school students.

I regret only considering 'bears' because I was an immature bottom looking for a daddy.

Now I'm versatile but mature. So nobody's interested.

do bear fuck outside beardom ? did you score ? tell, tell

No, #20- never found Daddybear. Then the internet happened and no one was looking for a 'monogamous relationship' anymore.

"Then the internet happened and no one was looking for a 'monogamous relationship' anymore."

But they were before? This place gets more deluded by the second.

[quote]But they were before?

Yeah, that statement confused me too. As one example, from what I have read, sex was so available in the 70s that the big complaint then was no one wanted a monogamous relationship.