My delicious recipe for Toast sandwiches - you must try them!

Greg, have you got a recipe for the perfect glass of water?

Do you cut the crusts off, smear the long ends with cream cheese and dip them in chopped parsley?

Do you butter both sides of the bread? Seems uneven if you don’t.

This is neither British nor a delicacy.

Is there a carb-free version?

For this recipe, is using an artisan stone cracked curated organic brown bread a sign of white privilege?

R1, yes I do! First position the glass under a bottle containing water. Carefully pour water into the glass, making sure that you don't cause it to fill to the point where the water goes over the rim of the glass and starts flooding the table. Then lift the glass to your lips - if you are a Republican wearing an expensive tie you may need to use two hands - and enjoy!

I just [italic]knew[/italic] you would!

R4, oh yes it fucking is.

R87, no, it is a sign that you live in the Back Bay, which is superior to Beacon Hill in every conceivable way. The zip code is one of the richest in the country!

Sounds like little more than a plate of oxygen.

Is this suitable for anorexics?

R12, you think you're pretty funny, don't you! Well you are a great big poopy-head which means you smell of wee! Neener neener neener!

R10–I must confess that I do enjoy a nice toast sandwich when I’m invalid.

[quote]A recipe for toast sandwiches is included in the invalid cookery section of the 1861 Book of Household Management by Isabella Beeton

Does OP think we're all invalids??

Too many carbs. What a ridiculous recipe. Although I am anxiously awaiting the water recipe.

Compared to my ribald wit and flare for cooking, yes, R17!!!

Rofl, op!

You're brilliant.

You've really captured the essence of "Greg."

Just fucking toast.

I'll have a plate of nothing and a cup of air.

Anyone want some olive oil cake? I'm paying it forward in small-town Back Bay. Everything connects. And I NEED TO GET FUCKED RIGHT NOW.

[quote]The toast sandwich is a British delicacy that is perfect for afternoon tea.

Never heard of it in my life

[quote]I like to serve them to guests just after lunch with Aperol spritzes

Just after lunch.

Yeah, that makes sense...

And an Aperol spritz is an aperitivo to be served before dinner.

Not after lunch.

R24 As if you'd turn one down, you sponge.

Too many carbs ya wanker bellend!!

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen. This is the joke speaking. We have currently attained an altitude of twenty thousand feet over R24's head.

R27 Nice try. The joke is you. Indeed.