I'm I don't know where to begin because the cumbersome functionality is the off-grid smug Woody Harrelsonesque so groovy I'm actually a dick of message boards.
Let's be reddit
by Anonymous | reply 65 | December 3, 2022 9:28 PM |
I'm the sanctimony.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | November 28, 2022 3:57 AM |
I'm the power hungry moderator. I deleted your perfectly benign post for being off topic. Actually ..... it wasn't remotely off topic but I am a power hungry freak. I only approve posts from people who have already posted 500000 times already.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | November 28, 2022 3:59 AM |
" I am not a Redditer, per se. Not really. I visited the site off and on since I was in high school. At the time, I was living with my Dad after my parents got divorced. My parents got back together, ironically when I was graduating from high school and heading to college. I went away to school but had a really hard time figuring out what major I would be pursuing. Ultimately, I decided to take a break from school and my parents split up again!Confusing. I started an only fans while I was figuring out what to do with school thing. Also, I was having a bad breakup with my ex. We shared the same apartment and it was his idea to do onlyfans. We were supposed to do only fans together but it got too weird when we broke up. We still see each other off and on but it is hard, you know. Anyway, the onlyfans thing is kinda hard and I really want to figure out the school thing."
by Anonymous | reply 6 | November 28, 2022 4:24 AM |
I'm the 50000 off topic comments on a news story. The stupid assholes at reddit upvote me the highest.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | November 28, 2022 4:52 AM |
I’m the anti work subreddit. I think I’m changing the world through promoting Marxist theory but the truth is that I’m lazy and entitled. I think there should be work. I just think you should do it for me and hand me the cash.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | November 28, 2022 5:12 AM |
I'm the downvotes on a perfectly timed snarky quip.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | November 28, 2022 5:35 AM |
Im the atroshus spelling and the compleet lack of paragraohs and structure in my inane word spew of a story that took you all far too long to deecipher and made you want to kill yourself for being stupid enough to read. Basically I'm an EST aficionado bcos I am so devoid of attenshun in my life that I will make up lewdicrous stories about molestation and creepy encounters (see my profile its NSFW I warned you) just so I can reply earnestly and keep embelishing before I disappear into the ether.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | November 28, 2022 5:40 AM |
What is EST?
by Anonymous | reply 12 | November 28, 2022 12:23 PM |
I'm shadowbanning and shadow-deleting of posts.
I'm incredibly passive-aggressive. I'm the "punishment" used by those who are power-mad but prefer to think of themselves as benevolent internet mommies sending you to your room for your own good.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | November 28, 2022 1:02 PM |
r12 EST = "Elaborate Scenario Troll"
by Anonymous | reply 14 | November 28, 2022 1:10 PM |
Ugh. The worst! R14
by Anonymous | reply 15 | November 28, 2022 1:13 PM |
I’m r/ladybonersgw
by Anonymous | reply 16 | November 28, 2022 1:28 PM |
My favorite thing about Reddit is nearly any thread with more than eight replies eventually includes people trying to one-up each other about trauma or self-diagnosed disabilities. Even if the original topic of discussion was paperclips or Ted Danson's "Cheers"-era hairpiece.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | November 28, 2022 1:31 PM |
I’m a rightwing tool and I keep getting banned from subreddits. God I’m stupid. But I’m unemployed so…whatever. I’ve gotta do something until I’m 15 or 16 and can borrow my friend’s gun and go shoot people at a protest, a mall, a Walmart, a black church, a synagogue. In meantime I shoot birds and people’s pets.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | November 28, 2022 1:49 PM |
I'm the top viewed subreddit pushing narratives that provoke outrage and division. My moderators shadow delete comments that push back with factual information.
My posts are always "hot" on the frontpage.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | November 28, 2022 2:22 PM |
[quote]Im the atroshus spelling
Sching it, R11!
by Anonymous | reply 20 | November 28, 2022 2:38 PM |
I will allow incel forums but anyone posting “islamophobic” or “transphobic” comments, will be immediately banned.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | November 28, 2022 2:41 PM |
I’ve never had any experience with “shadow banning” on Reddit. Or “shadow deleting.”
But then, I don’t shitpost. I’m neither Russian, Chinese, Iranian or a conspiracy-obsessed American who believes that old fart politicians are deep state pedophiles eating the flesh and drinking the blood of post-birth aborted fetuses in order that the deep state might live ….. forever!
by Anonymous | reply 22 | November 28, 2022 2:46 PM |
I’m the menopause subreddit where women gather to commiserate and share experiences about symptoms and HRT.
As moderator I regularly announce that all women are welcome, not just women with traditional female reproductive organs.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | November 28, 2022 4:26 PM |
I'm the mod who banned me for threatening Ellie Goulding
by Anonymous | reply 24 | November 28, 2022 4:41 PM |
I'm the mutual assurance of having the correct and only opinion on anything. I happen in comment 10 the latest.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | November 28, 2022 4:44 PM |
I'm r/Relationships. Everything posted on me is fiction.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | November 28, 2022 4:46 PM |
We're tweens on the Drag Race sub, shipping "warm lesbian" relationships between our favorite queens.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | November 28, 2022 4:49 PM |
I'm r/FemaleDatingStrategy, aka the female-incel sub. The irony that it's "FDS" for short isn't lost on me.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | November 28, 2022 4:51 PM |
Happy Cake Day!
by Anonymous | reply 29 | November 28, 2022 10:06 PM |
Im AITA. I post a carefully edited version of events to get everyone on my side. " I Held Open a door for an 80 year old wheelchair bound cancer patient and my friend told me I was an asshole. AITA?"
by Anonymous | reply 30 | November 28, 2022 10:47 PM |
^^^THIS. So much this. You win the internet today.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | November 28, 2022 10:48 PM |
I'm a skincare addiction poster. I am shallow as well as neurotic bordering on clinically insane. I post things like " I went outside for 5 minutes this morning in spf 50 rather than spf 100. Is there anything I can do to undo the damage? I'm willing to spend up to 30000?".
by Anonymous | reply 32 | November 28, 2022 10:51 PM |
Someone is spending a whole lot of time on Reddit
by Anonymous | reply 33 | November 28, 2022 11:02 PM |
It's incomprehensible and overwrought on every level.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | November 28, 2022 11:18 PM |
I'm the post opening with "My dudes"
by Anonymous | reply 35 | November 29, 2022 12:15 AM |
R33 is far to busy on the Datalounge.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | November 29, 2022 6:06 PM |
TOO busy. Much TOO busy.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | November 29, 2022 6:07 PM |
I'm "Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!"
And its cousin, "I regret I have no gold to give, but take my updoot!"
by Anonymous | reply 38 | November 29, 2022 6:46 PM |
I’m R38’s second cousin “EDIT: Wow, I did not expect my comment to blow up like this! It’s crazy that this is my most upvoted comment ever.”
Save the acceptance speech for your blog, Mary. Internet points are free.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | November 30, 2022 6:52 AM |
I’m the down votes when a post doesn’t fit the narrative of the subreddit onto which one posts.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | November 30, 2022 7:10 AM |
I’m the teenagers and their slang.
by Anonymous | reply 41 | November 30, 2022 5:15 PM |
I'm outraged at the relationship between a 30 something and a 22 year old CHILD
by Anonymous | reply 42 | November 30, 2022 5:26 PM |
I'm the moron who thinks he's being more succinct by saying "Basically, the title says it all.", which actually makes the post even longer.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | November 30, 2022 11:49 PM |
I'm the miserable Karen who's formed a clique within a subreddit that targets and downvotes posters they don't like, even if it's a good poster and that person is a stranger who did nothing to them.
I've seen a woman who wrote a very sad post about her miscarriage in a forum about miscarriages getting downvoted by these bitches.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | November 30, 2022 11:59 PM |
I'm the zealously enforced ideological purity.
by Anonymous | reply 45 | December 1, 2022 12:30 AM |
I'm the deux moi gossip subreddit. I'm about as fun and salacious as a wet noodle. I'm all about moralizing and finger wagging. No one who posts in me has a sense of humor or even moral nuance and complexity. I suck all of the fun out of celebrity gossip.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | December 1, 2022 12:32 AM |
I'm the ridiculous avatars that look like so many obedient little soldiers — but with flair, that you can buy!
by Anonymous | reply 47 | December 1, 2022 12:33 AM |
I'm the elation when a person struggling with some unfortunate life circumstance or mental illness finds what they believe are "their people."
I'm their relief that there's someplace where their story can be told. I'm the amazement that someone out there understands them, validates their experience. I'm the tentative, then enthusiastic, participation in the group.
I'm the shock and confusion when the moderator turns out to be a capricious, mentally disturbed cunt and the new "friends" are callous and uncaring. And that that's the way of all subreddits because Reddit, like most social media, is basically 6th Grade writ large.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | December 1, 2022 1:16 AM |
R46 sadly popculturechat isn't much better.
by Anonymous | reply 49 | December 1, 2022 1:56 AM |
I’m the repetitive, unoriginal jokes. I was funny the first 2 times. Less so on the 20th read.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | December 1, 2022 2:16 AM |
I’m flair. I hate my dumb name.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | December 1, 2022 2:26 AM |
I'm the poster who doesn't know 2nd grade grammar.
"Me and my wife bought a house..."
by Anonymous | reply 52 | December 1, 2022 2:56 AM |
I'm a bot.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | December 1, 2022 2:58 AM |
I'm the spooky story about almost possibly being kidnapped by a probable child molester as a kid.
I'm scarier because I'm real, and people are the scariest monsters of all.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | December 1, 2022 3:08 AM |
I’m r/hilariabaldwin. Fuck ya poop, Peepaw. Carmen made me take this picture of Big Eddie and Mary Caillou being twinnish. ObSESSED!
by Anonymous | reply 55 | December 1, 2022 4:16 AM |
I'm the casual mention of a past drug addiction even though it has nothing to do with the topic at hand. Quitting cocaine is the closest thing I have to an accomplishment. Well, that and Growing Up In An Abusive Household™️
by Anonymous | reply 56 | December 1, 2022 4:24 AM |
EDIT: I didn’t expect this thread to blow up. Thanks for the gold.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | December 1, 2022 4:26 AM |
I'm rfatlogic- I'm a subreddit full of fat people and former fatties who hate fat people, but we're not rfatpeoplehate. That place was toxic.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | December 1, 2022 6:12 AM |
I’m the daddy who feels empowered to post his most candid moments.
by Anonymous | reply 59 | December 1, 2022 6:23 AM |
I'm Metafilter. Many of my users, despairing of the passive-aggressive moderation, pileons, and cliques, fled to what they thought would be a freer and fairer discussion site, Reddit.
Joke's on them!
by Anonymous | reply 60 | December 2, 2022 11:24 PM |
I’m the one who reads a good post and instead of just upvoting it, repeats the post with slightly different wording as if the they are coming up with something original.
by Anonymous | reply 61 | December 3, 2022 12:34 AM |
I’m the loser who thinks people want to read “THIS!^” instead of just upvoting the post they like.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | December 3, 2022 12:36 AM |
I'm username checks out.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | December 3, 2022 7:06 AM |
I'm [italic] This comment removed by moderator [/italic].
by Anonymous | reply 64 | December 3, 2022 10:13 AM |
I’m the male pontificators.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | December 3, 2022 9:28 PM |