Meeting the family of my son's boyfriend just before Christmas and am having a crippling bout of class anxiety

[quote]I immediately broke down and started howling and wailing

You might wanna tone that shit down.

R1 you simply don't understand how crushing class anxiety can be when meeting WASP aristocracy. I have NOTHING in common with these people, and feel inferior and overmatched just thinking about it.

Why would you include all those details that make it easy to identify you and your son?

R3 unless his boyfriend's parents are on DL that's pretty unlikely?

[bold] B R I C K

S H I T H O U S E

T R O L L

A L E R T

This never happened.

You are trying way too hard tonight op.

R6 stop demeaning my feelings. When I thought about this thread, I had a bout of uncontrollable spastic flatus. I needed to lie down and take a few gummies.

Is there a full moon tonight?

R9 my episode of spastic flatus is bad. I haven't even eaten anything.

How nice for SBT to provide us a Thanksgiving update this year, rather than the usual Christmastime one!

[quote] a wealthy, upper-middle class WASP family from Roanoke

[quote] My husband and me is flying out to meet them in a few weeks

Oh my . . .

Whole Foods doesn’t sell Dasani and WASPs don’t go to Reed.

R12 you do know there's old founding stock money in Roanoke VIRGINIA right?

0/10 Stupid, not even good trolling

This is one big, damned dumb, phony story. 😂

R13, OP says that "I strarts to make grammar mistakes" when nervous, so lets cut him some slack. Then lets have him euthanized because he's clearly too delicate to live.

Calling Dr. Kevorkian!

Check ignoredar and OP also posted this ridiculous story.

tl:dr

Avoid stories about ping pong balls.

FAIL

R15 - Have you actually been to Roanoke? There’s no “there” there, no “aristocracy” of any kind, and it’s claim-to-fame is a big-ass electrified star on a hillside that gets lit up in red when someone dies in a car accident.

And what about your puny, inferior cocklet OP? How does it fit in the story?

[QUOTE]"My husband and me is..."

It's too late. Accept whatever crumbs they throw at you.

They will eat you alive. Your son will spend his lifetime never being good enough.

RUN!

I got this bad, too. I am completely crushed and in awe by the moneyed, low-key WASP elite. They really are the last remnants of this country's aristocracy - so superior to the Trumps and other vulgarians who now rule over us. I want to return to a gentler, more refined world where the cultured, rational rule of that NE elite guided us. It was a better time.

Roanoke was probably chosen randomly to be the "WASP" city for this EST.

There have been tells (spellings, colloquialisms) that SBT is actually British and not American. Especially with his home state being Montana or Nebraska, depending on the story.

1.5/10

Embrace who you are OP.

Suggest you just run with it, and quick go out and get a bad tattoo, wear a wife beater with stains, and take up smoking and drinking beer.

R29 which colloquialisms? I'm fascinated.

As long as you don't let them see your house with all the rusted, old cars up on cinder blocks parked in your front yard, you'll be fine.

[quote]a wealthy, upper-middle class WASP family from Roanoke

Should have said Charleston, OP.

R35 still don't understand how you can say OP Is British.

R33, this one came to mind: his homophobic, abusive uncle being "in hospital". The British say that. Americans (and Canadians) say "in THE hospital".

I even read a hypothesis once that SBT is actually Milo Y, which is really sobering and makes me feel pretty bad for laughing at his stories for so long.

[R13} I caught that, too. He best take an English grammar class before meeting them.

“Eldest” for starters

I've never heard of an American having "class anxiety" -- Americans may feel inferior to those who have more money or better education or a more important/prestigious job, but the whole concept of upperclass vs. lowerclass doesn't really exist. The place where class matters is England, historically and still today. So I agree with R29 that OP may well be British.

R37 interesting - although it could just be a typo.

Richmond is, at best, second string. Roanoke even less. Nick town gentry and you’re intimidated? If this is just a trolling, then you could have picked a better scenario—maybe WASPs from the North Shore of Chicago(or Boston).

First of all anyone from Roanoke isn’t high class wasp. I can’t stop laughing. Second, this is an about you you stupid stupid man. It’s about your son. Apparently you care too much about yourself. I would suggest you just don’t talk very much, say please and thank you be careful of what you eat, so you aren’t farting all over their home and just they don’t have to like you. They only have to support their son and his choice of a partner. The end.

Just be yourself, but be quiet and humble. You're not moving in with those people. You'll either never see them again, or if you son and their son stay together and eventually get married you will see them infrequently. If they don't like what they see in you, that's their problem, not yours. If the worst case scenario happens and they act like assholes then the answer is clear. You just make sure you never be in their presence again.

Life is too damn short to worry about what others think of you. If they can't take you as you are then fuck them.

Did you make turkey meatballs again OP?

OP.. are you the same 'author' of the Piss enema?

OP - you did not mention your tiny cocklet!!! you're slipping...

If they truly are WASPS, their son has already disappointed them by having a boyfriend. Meeting you and your husband new money selves won't make things any worse. Also try to remember they live in Roanoke. There are thousands of families with much more class and money in actual Social Register cities, like Boston, New York, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, and D.C. If you are really worried about how you'll come off, I suggest binge watching episodes of Frasier. Sure Kelsey Grammar treated his ex wife Camille especially cruel on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but his work is good and I think it would really help! Pretend you've never been inside a Walmart. Pretend you've never eaten a Hot Pocket. Pretend you weren't left alone with your uncle in the family trailer and that he didn't use Pabst Blue Ribbon as lube for your first time.

I hope this helped :)

From Roanoke VA?? Please. They can't that upper crust. Chill.

Tell us more about your fuzzy Lot Lizard coming of age tales.

Lol I actually enjoyed reading this troll’s story. I’ll give a 6 out of 10. 👍🏽

Calm down and man up

[quote] They can't be that upper crust.

Well, there’s that, plus the fact that none of these people exist except as figments of OP’s feeble imagination. 🤷‍♂️

Definitely agree with R40, OP is a pasty old git. A very large, depraved fool with few literary gifts, even of parody.

I wish that was all I had to worry about instead of my cancer.

R45, I think it was stewed prune meatballs in his dream.

-5/10. Op, you put too much work into your “shit” story. 3rd graders wouldn’t believe this shit.

Pretend to have laryngitis, and do not speak the whole time. If you speak, they will instantly recognize you for the ignorant trash that you are, OP.

Now, go put on a dress, dance around for us, and then show us your puny cocklet, so we can all laugh at you before we rape you.

Since when do art galleries have Boards of Trustees?

R56 I don’t believe he’s aiming for believability. He thinks he’s nurturing a unique DL genre of puerile-farce-cum-deviant-absurdism.

And not very well, I might add.

R54

[quote] What should I do? Should we just blow them off and find an excuse to cancel.

Postpone the visit. How long do you expect this relationship to last?

Another cunt was desperate for attention. Please log off the computer and hang out with your imaginary friend

R30, EST accusations are expressly forbidden at Datalounge. I'm afraid I have no choice but to report you to the Editor, but first I have to spray some Febreze on my lady business.

He has Dada issues, of the poetic variety. I know it’s covered in the diagnostic manual, one of several pathologies.

Dear OP, you should stay at home and your son should take the responsibility if required to explain your absence.

Tell them you bought the property next-door, and will be opening a home for wayward girls.

Your other story was more entertaining, but this was a smidge more believable.

Man up and go, OP.

Maybe your mincing faggotry will be too much for your son's new father in law to tolerate and he'll drag you into a broom closet to fuck you while hitting you with his Sperry topsider.

Don't stress pumpkin. Be polite and let them run the conversation. Keep your comments happy, joyful and fun. If you're lucky they'll be boozers and it'll be a liquid lunch of horror

I see our resident truck stop fanfic queen with the "cocklet" has returned. I didn't know his son went to Reed, though—a local to me! I'd suggest your son transfer to Lewis & Clark (or maybe U of P), or get the fuck out of Portland for his education. My dad dated a girl in the '80s who was a student at Reed, and it was weird even then. It's barely a college. Not as bad as the Evergreen State, though. In any event, please spare us from your beloved kiddo becoming a person who writes sentences such as "my husband and me is flying."

If you worked hard on your creative writing you might come up with more laughable shit then this drivel

So your son tells you about his sex life with his “top” bf? And the family speaks with a mid-Atlantic accent like they’re in a ‘30s movie? Est, est, a thousand times Est!

Be yourself, OP. If they are worth knowing, they'll find common ground. If they don't try, they can lump it. It's more important that your son in law likes you. Life is too short and if you don't chill, they're going to have to up your meds..

I think OP is the steath scat troll who has been "dropping" little prizes all over holiday threads this holiday!

Not cool, OP!

How do you know, looks convincing to me.

[quote]R14 WASPs don’t go to Reed.

Reed is listed amongst the top ten favored schools in the original Preppie Handbook. Though they do give the caveat, “This is where hippies go.”

EST

This troll has one tell (in addition to a unique “writing” style) that always gives him away. This EST is not even up to his usual, mediocre submissions either.

Pix or it didn't happen!

You've wathed the Birdcage too much, but thanks for the laughs

I lived in Portland and never understood the smugness of Reed students. You'd think they were attending an Ivy.

[quote]their son is out and proud, although he is a top and masc privilege is something we need to talk about in the gay community.

Why don't you talk about it with Muffy and Biff? Seems appropriate.

OP, here are some helpful tips...

When you meet your son's boyfriend's father you should:

[quote]Move his big hand down to your asscunt and let him start fingering my filth trench and you should moan homosexually as his fingers are inhaled by my craving mancunt.

I knew this was an Extra Special Tale the minute I saw “Roanoke”. Slink away in shame, OP.

OP, if you should make any atrocious grammar mistakes like the one in your post:

[quote]My husband and me is flying out to meet them in a few weeks...

You should create a diversion my staring directly at your son's boyfriend's father, dance seductively as your raise your caftan slowly, bend over, and present hole...

R40, of course Americans have class anxiety. We have social classes, and people notice social class differences - half the thread on DL are about social class, FFS - but, outside the DL, people don't talk overtly about class as much as the Brits. We use euphemisms and proxies, some of which you mentioned.

But if you think a person from the wrong side of the tracks isn't well aware of the non-financial differences between his manners, speech and way of life and those of people in middle-class suburbia (let alone the local gentry), then you're mistaken.

So now we know who the bottom is, Nervous Nelly.

Is Reed still there or has it been destroyed a la Evergreen College by excessive wokeness and student demonstrations?

They, like us, will laugh at your puny cocklet.

Practice your curtsy. There is no better entree to high society than a perfectly executed curtsy.

^ Your curtsey would be best executed "sans culottes", of course...

Someone needs to watch The Birdcage.

[quote]My husband and me is flying out to meet them in a few weeks

Maybe you should just keep your mouth closed and your legs open...as usual

How can your son's boyfriend's parents respect you, OP?

...when you're nothing but a dirty WHORE

Have you serviced your son's boyfriend's cock yet, OP?

This Birdcage needs cleaning(480 quality).

Are all three of your sons bottoms, OP?

If OP's story is make believe, he/she/them should be a writer. I bought it. If he/she/them is a faker, at least we have something to discuss. At least it's not some loser posting shit about JJ, J hoe, Mandonga, Britfleas, Pariah Scary or Beyond C(unt).

One word of advice, OP...

"douche"

Practice holding in the butt binky while curtsying.

[quote]you simply don't understand how crushing class anxiety can be when meeting WASP aristocracy. I have NOTHING in common with these people, and feel inferior and overmatched just thinking about it.

OP, if you find the judgment of other so "crushing"...

why does sit make your filthy mancunt so wet?

I wonder why the Dasani water is so often a part of BST's meltdowns?

R96 Colton and Packer are strict bottom. My youngest, Mackenzie, is too young to top but in his current MS relationship he’s service only.

Dasani was a nice, added touch. It's specific, as to be believable.

[quote]Mackenzie, is too young to top but in his current MS relationship he’s service only.

What exactly is an "MS relationship"?

Multiple sclerosis

R104 Middle School

Yes what is this MS? While we're asking, what is a rolling brown out? What is a Peppermint Patty?

I just hope Mackenzie doesn't break your heart by becoming a Top...or worse yet, a straight!

OP, how do you manage to keep you cunt so hungry for dick?

Does your husbear cage your little clit?

Drugs?

Because your sons are adopted, did they all inherit your puny cocklet...or are you embarrassed by their size?

OP, maybe you could arrange to meet them in a place where you'd feel more comfortable...

on your back, taking cocks, in a bath house...

[quote]My husband and me is flying out to meet them

I'm sorry, I could read beyond that.

And now I have PTSD.

You must know Reed draws a different breed of students. Most parents would not send their kids there; they are afraid their sons and daughters would be indoctrinated into the woke culture. The boyfriend's son has parents who are just as open-minded about Reed as you are.

So you may be pleasantly surprised. Who knows, they might be nudists. I've hiked in the Blue Ridge. I've encountered nude hikers along the way.

You are making a mountain out of a molehill. You might leave a negative impression because they are the laid-back kind and you appear prickly. Get over it and have a nice visit.

Just relax and be yourself with them...

Tell them all about how you and your son got into a competition to sleep with the most men on your trip to Reed...

Tell them about your dildo collection or how you can shoot cum from your fagcunt...