Where the fuck is Greg with his god damn Thanksgiving menu?

All of his guests became violently ill with his cooking.

Pretty sure Greg is Chinese or Malay.

Will there be borscht?

Is Greg nonbinary? And in Colorado?

He's definitely an incel.

He's in Boston and consorts with only the best people.

He's been busy fighting with everyone over real and imagined slights about his risotto and pasta techniques

Greg, pleaaaaase! I am having 5 refined gays over and don’t know what to cook. One is a former Dean, two are rising star in the humanities. What to doooo?

I bet his stuffing has raisins in it.

R8 his stuffing is from stove top

I will never forget “loin of Cod”. Not ever.

R10 That’s what I call it.

[quote] One is a former Dean

What’s his name now?

Greg is swimming in pussy and far too busy to post here atm.

He’s waiting for Martha Stewart to post hers so he change a few inconsequential ingredients and pass it off as his.

[quote] I bet his stuffing has raisins in it.

Nope.

He puts prunes in his stuffing.

Do not invoke his name! Do not summon him!

He's standing behind you wearing an apron holding out a plate of Oreos.

[quote] All of his guests became violently ill with his cooking.

Wrong, R1. It's very important for you to think that I am not a good cook, so you can go right on believing that. I wouldn't want to deny you that little bit of happiness.

[quote] Pretty sure Greg is Chinese or Malay.

I'm pretty sure I'm Italian and Irish.

[quote] Will there be borscht?

No. No borscht this year.

R16 warned us!!!

But you just wouldn't listen.

So Greg, do you really put prunes in your stuffing?

[quote] Is Greg nonbinary? And in Colorado? He's definitely an incel.

Sorry, I am not nonbinary.

I am not in Colorado.

I am definitely not an incel.

Any more dumb thoughts?

[quote] So Greg, do you really put prunes in your stuffing?

No, I do not. I'm not sure it would be a bad thing, but I've never done it.

[quote] He's standing behind you wearing an apron holding out a plate of Oreos.

That's right. Double Stuf.

[quote] He’s waiting for Martha Stewart to post hers so he change a few inconsequential ingredients and pass it off as his.

That's right. That's exactly what I was doing.

[quote] I will never forget “loin of Cod”. Not ever.

That's what it's called. Loin of Cod.

Loin of Cod

[bold] Here I am with my god damn [sic] Thanksgiving menu: [/bold]

Roast Turkey with Gravy

Herbed Bread Stuffing & Cornbread Dressing (I made two types)

Potatoes Dauphinoise

Garnet Yam Purée

Honey Glazed Carrots & Parsnips

Homemade Green Bean Casserole

Cranberry Sauce

Pear Chutney

+++

Pecan Pie

Butternut Squash Pie

Peach Buckle (non-traditional, but delicious)

Ooh. I feel special - mine wasn't far off Greg's. I'm a CHEF!. Heh heh. Thanks Greg.

[quote] Ooh. I feel special - mine wasn't far off Greg's. I'm a CHEF!. Heh heh. Thanks Greg.

Hey, R30, what kind of place do you work? Thanks for saying hello.

Thanks Greg. Appreciate your posts. They are inspiring. (in general).

Are you having any holiday get-togethers? Menus?

What about Christmas? Menu again? Perhaps this is worthy of a Christmas menu thread?

[quote] Thanks Greg. Appreciate your posts. They are inspiring. (in general). Are you having any holiday get-togethers? Menus? What about Christmas? Menu again? Perhaps this is worthy of a Christmas menu thread?

Thanks, R32. I appreciate your comment (in general).

I will have a Christmas party, but have not yet come up with a Christmas menu. Once I do, I will start a thread. I often make a standing rib roast for Christmas lunch.

^Thank you.

Greg, when do you do Indian food? What dishes do you make?

No snark, I cook Indian a few times a week and I just wanted to hear what you do.

Greg, you should fly and cater Joe's wake.

Did Joe die?

NO. Just planning ahead.

Greg's pussy stinks!

Hey Greg! I'm nit really a chef but I upgraded myself for cooking similarly to you.. I love potatoes dauphinoise but my husband prefers the traditional mashed for TG so I make potatoes dauphinoise at other times of the year.

Greg: How would you prepare a Christmas Moose?

Greg's dinners are always gag-worthy.

Greg is a fat woman.

R10 Why? A loin is very different from a fillet.

You can't really blame him for not showing up the way you bitches treat him.

R22 NYT has a prune stuffing also but I like Martha's.

R45 I'm here for all of it: the recipes, the tips, the snark and the cruelty. I also enjoy Greg's plucky yet passive-aggressive handling of these Hot Pocket-eating yokels.

[quote] I will never forget “loin of Cod”. Not ever.

R10, a local Grocery Outlet store had a sign on the freezer case saying "LION OF COD". I pointed it out to a clerk, who thanked me but didn't laugh or even smile.

I try to be nice to Greg but he takes it wrong half the time. I guess if he's from New England that explains some of it.

A year or two ago, I tried to explain Greg's prickliness to others, saying he was like a dog who people teased too much and made snappy.

I meant it empathetically but he seemed to have taken it the wrong way, proving my point.

R49, I've lived in New England and people there aren't like Greg. His unpleasant personality is all his own, not the product of some local culture.

I'm sorry, it wasn't a poke at New Englanders' personalities; I'm in Texas and I feel like we don't "get" eat other (although they're pleasant). It's a different culture! I think they're great, though.

[quote] His unpleasant personality is all his own, not the product of some local culture.

I appreciated Greg’s recipes and was concerned over the challenges he incurred here on DL. Then, like R49, I interacted with him. Now understand why other posters give him a hard time.

Because he is a rancid, pretentious cunt, who thinks all of Datalounge is AMA: Greg the prune fucker.

It is surprising someone who eats so much would have such thin skin.

[quote]Greg is swimming in pussy

Greg, is your pussy really as big as a swimming pool?

Our Greggie knows all about loins!

I've heard people around our trailer park say that no one knows their way around the loin region like Greg!

(P.S. Honey, you know I don't like it when you cuss.)

[quote] Greg, is your pussy really as big as a swimming pool?

Yes, and I love it when guys spend time on my diving board.

"The diving board" is what he likes to call his little clitty...hee,hee!

[quote] It is surprising someone who eats so much would have such thin skin.

Who said I eat so much? I love to cook more than eat.

And my skin is not just thin; it's also crispy.

[quote] "The diving board" is what he likes to call his little clitty...hee,hee!

Yes, thanks for spelling out my little joke.

[quote] Because he is a rancid, pretentious cunt, who thinks all of Datalounge is AMA: Greg the prune fucker.

Yawn.

Ha! Ha! Ha!😁😂😂😂

[Quote] Greg is a fat woman.

Obese. Use the correct term please.

[quote] I appreciated Greg’s recipes and was concerned over the challenges he incurred here on DL. Then, like [R49], I interacted with him. Now understand why other posters give him a hard time.

Tell us, R52, what about our interaction brought about this new understanding?

[quote] Obese. Use the correct term please.

Nah. I am a bit heavier than I would like (5'8", 170 pounds), but I'm not obese.

^ Not me.

...and truth be told, my clitty is really tiny, much smaller than I would like

[quote] I've lived in New England and people there aren't like Greg. His unpleasant personality is all his own, not the product of some local culture.

Oh, R50, where in New England did you live?

And I agree with you, I am not the product of some local culture!

[quote]where in New England did you live?

Where the boys and the booze are!

[quote] ...and truth be told, my clitty is really tiny, much smaller than I would like

Thanks, R67, but it's really huge. I have to have my trousers taken out just to accommodate it.

[quote] ^ Not me.

I never use the up arrow. This was not me.

Don't worry, Greg,

Somehow we all knew you didn't really have a big penis.

[quote] I try to be nice to Greg but he takes it wrong half the time. I guess if he's from New England that explains some of it. A year or two ago, I tried to explain Greg's prickliness to others, saying he was like a dog who people teased too much and made snappy. I meant it empathetically but he seemed to have taken it the wrong way, proving my point.

R49, just how do I take your niceness wrong half the time. Just how often are you nice? Please share some details.

[Quote] I never use the up arrow. This was not me.

Not me either.

[quote] Don't worry, Greg, Somehow we all knew you didn't really have a big penis.

Maybe not big, but I think that 7.5 is nothing to be ashamed of.

^ Not me either.

Greggie, honey,

Remember what the therapist told you about embracing your femininity (and your micro penis)

[quote] I'm here for all of it: the recipes, the tips, the snark and the cruelty. I also enjoy Greg's plucky yet passive-aggressive handling of these Hot Pocket-eating yokels.

Thank you, R47! It does take a lot of pluck to exist out here. Hot Pocket-eating yokels indeed!

[quote] His unpleasant personality is all his own, not the product of some local culture.

I can't imagine why my personality would be unpleasant. It's not as though guys out here call me things like a rancid, pretentious cunt or anything.

Well done, Greg! Thanks for desserting us in our time of need!

[quote] You can't really blame him for not showing up the way you bitches treat him.

Thank you, R45. It's a tough crowd out here. I take consolation in the fact that most of the guys out here who try to be cruel are just losers.

[quote]It's not as though guys out here call me things like a rancid, pretentious cunt or anything.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Well, one of the two times equals half!

I like you anyway. I wish you spent more time talking cooking than engaging even your lowest effort detractors.

Let's talk Indian cooking!

[quote] Greg, when do you do Indian food? What dishes do you make?

Funny you should ask! I just make butter chicken last night. I love curry, as well. And vindaloo. I am new at cooking Indian food. If you have any cookbook suggestions, I'd love to see them. I have ordered, "Made in India."

[quote] Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Thank you. You're absolutely right.

[quote] Well, one of the two times equals half! I like you anyway. I wish you spent more time talking cooking than engaging even your lowest effort detractors.

R83/R49 – fair enough. I'm glad you like me and I will take your wish to heart.

Oh boy Greg I am glad you asked.

Since you're not an instant pot snob, I highly recommend the My Heart Beets blog. The author has a couple cookbooks but everything is on the blog including the helpful comments section. As you probably know, much of the everyday Indian cooking is done by pressure cooker, so Indians really embraced electric pressure cookers. I have made most of the stuff in that blog. I love butter chicken, too. I especially love biriyani. Every biriyani recipe on that blog is phenomenal. I used to make in on the stove and it was a real undertaking. You do want to make and freeze the onion masala using the recipe and methods given by the author-- once you do that, you're set to make several different Indian dishes in minutes vesus hours.

The author's name is Ashley something, she is Punjabi (family from northern India) but she married a South Indian, so you get the best of both worlds as the foods are very different in the north vs the south.

I also recommend making your own garam masala, and I will post that recipe later, but I have to make lunch now. I look forward to more discussion!

[quote] Why? A loin is very different from a fillet.

Because, R10 is uninformed and lazy.

Greg is like the Patti LuPone of low-tier YouTube "chefs".

R85/R88, I am very happy to make your acquaintance. Thanks for the blog recommendation. I really love Indian cuisine and am interested in exploring and learning more about it. I look forward to seeing your recipe for Garam Masala. Let's keep the discussion going!

[quote] Greg is like the Patti LuPone of low-tier YouTube "chefs".

Oh, okay. Thanks for letting us know.

You really should place the period inside the quotation marks. Unless you like presenting as ignorant?

[quote] Greg's dinners are always gag-worthy.

You would never have the opportunity to have one of my dinners. I only invite people into my home if they have manners and know how to behave like adults.

[quote] Greg: How would you prepare a Christmas Moose?

[bold] STEP 1 [/bold] — Subdue the moose.

Above is not me. In fact none of above is me. Even I am not me.

I am also not me.

I am definitely not me.

I'm reductive.

I am available for the part.

Greg, Do you cook mostly for your wife and family, or do you entertain for others?

Greg,

How do you make sparkling dinner table conversation?

You make it seem so effortless.

R101 I simply describe how I made each dish and demand repeatedly that they do so themselves in the immediate future.

"And another interesting thing I want to tell you...."

"Something most people don't know about me is..."

Sorry Greg at R92, my style guide says "not with air quotes."

Next up: Chop of Pork and Sauce of Apple

[quote] Greg, Do you cook mostly for your wife and family, or do you entertain for others?

I cook every night and I also entertain for others on the regular.

I'm just here for the paper toweling.

[quote] I simply describe how I made each dish and demand repeatedly that they do so themselves in the immediate future.

No, I would [bold] NEVER [/bold] talk about the food at a dinner party. That is a big no-no. When someone brings up the food and how delicious everything is, I thank them and then redirect the conversation to something more interesting.

Like my dick

Nice try, R110.

Greg’s menu is traditional as it should be. My husband and I visited his children and grandchildren in Austin. We ordered two smoked turkeys and thus included gravy that looked like mucilage but had a fine flavor. It had to be from a jar because you can’t get drippings from smoked meat. The sides were sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole and cornbread stuffing. We made mashed potatoes but they whipped them with a handheld blender so they were heavy. We were ten at dinner and the dinner was part of a great reunion.

That all sounds lovely, Egalandy!

[quote] It had to be from a jar because you can’t get drippings from smoked meat.

When I have smoked a turkey and then want gravy, I simply make a rich, brown turkey stock and then turn that stock into a gravy by making a roux.

I’m trying to cede control in the kitchen r113! I planned on making a gravy from canned broth, herbs and roux but I deferred to our hostess, my lively daughter-in-law who was expertly in charge.

[quote]Greg’s menu is traditional as it should be. My husband and I visited his children and grandchildren in Austin.

Greg has children and grandchildren.

[quote]When I have smoked a hog and then want gravy...

When Greg smokes the hog, he always enjoys the gravy.

Greg,

GARAM MASALA

8 Bay Leaves (the Indian Bay Leaf, not the Sweet Laurel Bay Leaf used in Western cooking-- two completely different plants)

1 Tablespoon +1 teaspoon Cumin Seed

1/4 Cup Coriander Seeds

2 teaspoons clove (about 50 cloves)

2 teaspoons Cardamom (24 pods)

2 teaspoons Chili Flakes (red pepper flakes or 2 whole dried chilies)

8 inches Cinnamon Stick

Grind into a powder. It doesn't have to be super duper fine, but fairly fine.

If the whole spices you're starting with are fresh, this should last 6 months.

I mean it should stay fresh for six months. In India though, this would be made every few days-- but there's a lot more free time over there. It's still great at the six month mark.

Greg, what is your preferred brand of paper towelling?

Charmin, like moi!

Wait, r115! Not Greg’s children and grandchildren. I don’t know his patrilineal history. I visited, with my husband, his children and grandchildren.

Greg will need to bestow his best Italian sausage recipes on us. I want to know what I should do with mine….

I am Greg.

I always read Loin of Cod as Loin of God.

[quote]R29 Potatoes Dauphinoise

Dish sounds fat AND gay.

I want that Saugatuck Sausage Stuffing recipe!

My impression of Greg is that he is one of those people who doesn't understand he's difficult and can be kind of a dickhead. He's so far been fine in this thread but I've seen him in other threads and thought he was an ass for no reason. It's a vicious circle with these people. They get picked on for being weird/kind of dick-ish, and that makes them even more dick-ish and then people are just mean to them all the time and they think they're just bullying victims. Which at some point they are but also they ARE dicks.

R127 You all need a Greg in your life!

[quote]r124 I always read Loin of Cod as Loin of God.

Well, hello - -

[quote]I'm pretty sure I'm Italian and Irish.

Are you single? (Asking for a friend)

[quote]R128 You all need a Greg in your life!

Y’all need JEBUS!

I like Greg and I think he's a good sport, given all the shit you loons throw at him. My interactions with him here have been pleasant so I have no issue with Greg.

Greg-- a good Indian cookbook is Julie Sahni's Classic Indian Cooking.

We are all Greg.

I am Greg

Then I am Spartacus.

R132, take a spin at seeing the world from other people's experience. You might learn something.

[quote] I am Greg

You most certainly are not, R134. I always use punctuation.

[quote] I like Greg and I think he's a good sport, given all the shit you loons throw at him. My interactions with him here have been pleasant so I have no issue with Greg. Greg-- a good Indian cookbook is Julie Sahni's Classic Indian Cooking.

Thank you, R132! I will definitely look into getting that cookbook. I appreciate it!

[quote] [R132], take a spin at seeing the world from other people's experience. You might learn something.

R132, don't be bothered by R136. He sounds unpleasant.

[quote] Are you single? (Asking for a friend)

Hi [bold] Cinesnatch. [/bold] I am not single. Why is your friend curious?

[quote] [R127] You all need a Greg in your life!

Thanks, R128!

You're welcome, Greg. Another good recipe source online is Swasthi's Recipes. Enjoy!

[quote] My impression of Greg is that he is one of those people who doesn't understand he's difficult and can be kind of a dickhead. He's so far been fine in this thread but I've seen him in other threads and thought he was an ass for no reason. It's a vicious circle with these people. They get picked on for being weird/kind of dick-ish, and that makes them even more dick-ish and then people are just mean to them all the time and they think they're just bullying victims. Which at some point they are but also they ARE dicks.

Oh, I do understand that I am difficult and kind of a dickhead. But I appreciate your generosity in providing clarity on these matters.

I heard there were hot pockets in this thread ; can I get in on that? YUM!

[quote] Dish sounds fat AND gay.

R125, if I'm being honest, YOU sound fat AND gay.

Potatoes Dauphinoise is a dish everyone loves. Thinly sliced potatoes cooked in heavy cream with some Gruyere cheese. What's not to love? They are good hot, warm, or even cold. I must caution you, however—if you are as fat as you sound, this is a dish that you might want to avoid. Perhaps try a baked potato topped with Greek yogurt.

Greg is a Bostonian. Home of prisspot faggots and nellies.

r127, WINS! That is exactly how Greg is.

[quote] I heard there were hot pockets in this thread ; can I get in on that? YUM!

rescue-chick, the only hot pockets here are in my Bonobos.

I am Greg.

[quote] Greg is a Bostonian. Home of prisspot faggots and nellies.

Thanks, R146. We are proud of it! Where are you from?

[quote] I am Greg.

Nice to make your acquaintance, Sheila!

[quote] [R127], WINS! That is exactly how Greg is.

R127, come claim your prize!

Defensive Greg is hilarious.

I'm typing furiously right now!

Greg is the most defensive queen on the DL since Roger Octopus.

[quote]R145 If you are as fat as you sound, this is a dish that you might want to avoid. Perhaps try a baked potato topped with Greek yogurt.

I’m BIG BONED!

Greg is always here lurking and ready to jump on anyone slightly critical of him. It's very bipolar.

[quote]Hot Pocket-eating yokels indeed!

If those yokels didn't have such big dicks...

and I didn't have such an insatiable mancunt...

I wouldn't have anything at ALL to do with them.

[quote] Defensive Greg is hilarious.

Thank you, R153, I agree!

Greg has always had poor anal hygiene.

Just remember who makes your food!

I can think of better places to keep hot pockets than in my pet monkeys but, you do you.

R139, you'd know.

I am Greg.

I still have my turkey carcass in the fridge for soup tomorrow.

[quote] I still have my turkey carcass in the fridge for soup tomorrow.

R165, have you made your soup yet? If you have any rinds of Parmigianno Reggiano, drop them into your soup. This will not only infuse your soup with a powerful kick of umami, but it will also thicken the broth considerably, giving your soup a rich robust flavor that's impossible to resist.

[quote]a powerful kick of umami

[quote]a rich robust flavor that's impossible to resist

Greg what in the fuck man. Admit you're trolling and/or have an obscure sexual fetish involving being insulted by strangers. Come on now.

If you haven't any rinds of Parmigianno Reggiano, you can achieve the same umami kick with a tablespoon of Jiff. My guests prefer the "chunky" varietal.

[quote] Greg what in the fuck man. Admit you're trolling and/or have an obscure sexual fetish involving being insulted by strangers. Come on now.

R167, I am not trolling and I could live without being insulted by strangers.

What about you? Do you like the powerful kick of umami?

[quote] If you haven't any rinds of Parmigianno Reggiano, you can achieve the same umami kick with a tablespoon of Jiff. My guests prefer the "chunky" varietal.

Hi R168 (not me—I know how to spell 'Jif'). I might suggest some ground anchovies rather than Crunchy Jif.

Greg’s preferred umami is freshly harvested dingleberries.

My umami comes from edamame.

My umami comes from MSG.

Umami is so fat...

My umami comes from my neighbor’s smegma.