Would you prefer to be sexy or beautiful?

In her prime, Kathleen Turner was sexy but far from beautiful. She was attractive in a sultry sort of way.

Sexy is way better. Beautiful is look, but don't touch. Sexy is let's have some fun 😜

[quote]Sexy is just about people wanting to sleep with you.

You say that like it's a BAD thing.

If you're beautiful people will want to fuck you, whether you're sexy or not and actually I think the two go together. But you can be sexy and ugly.

Sexy.

Agree with R2 that sexy have more fun. And sexy is more exciting. A painting or a cat can be beautiful too. I would rather be Mick Jagger than Brad Pitt (meaning both in their prime, not now).

I have found that beautiful people are not always that good in bed. Some tend to be more interested in themselves than you. Whereas average and sexy is going to make sure you are having as good of a time as he is 😛

I'd prefer to be beautiful because I'd know I look great, no matter what.

Sexy is too much pressure, like it doesn't count unless people pay attention to you.

[quote]like it doesn't count unless people pay attention to you

Do you understand what 'sexy' means?

True sexy comes natural and you shouldn't have to work at it at all. Beautiful takes lots of upkeep

Beautiful. Because I'm lazy.

Maintaining sexiness without beauty is *work* after 25. And good bone structure is just a huge time (and money) saver at any age.

I was about to type that I'd rather be sexy, then I remembered how many people get stalked by crazy exes.

Beautiful. I already have lots of sex with my right hand.

Maybe beautiful because sexy probably fades quicker.

Beautiful since it’ll help you in your love life and your professional life.

Hey, sexy can help with both of those, too.

Beautiful. People treat you better.

People find beautiful people sexy - and how can you be beautiful and not sexy/sexually attractive? It's pretty unusual. A lot of people are going to want to fuck you. str8s always want to mate with a beautiful person. Maybe you should have said this is about GAYS only. Because what gays find attractive and sexy sure differs from the rest of the world.

I think sexy lasts longer.

Sexy attracts dates with ‘issues’ in that department. I don’t mind lack of knowledge as I can teach. But some cannot learn.

Beautiful and sexy people, who tend to attract stalker more?

R17 idk about that though. Beautiful people get stalked and overidolised and stereotyped and put on impossible pedestals. And people treat them and look at them like objects with no interiority, Perfect Blue style. I wouldn't want to be treated that way, I think it would make me even more a paranoiac.

The problem with being beautiful is that it fades. Sexy is more of an aura, attitude...that can last longer when beauty is gone. It's sort of like charisma.

Sexy vs. Beautiful

Why use the word beautiful if you're addressing gay men? Do you mean very handsome? And all this talk of stalking - it's pretty rare.

If you want to be put on a pedestal and cultivate a “look-but-don’t-touch” remoteness, then beautiful can get you that reaction. Being sexy is great if you’re a horndog. If you’re not, it’s a liability because you’ll get less respect, especially if you’re a woman. You will be perceived as easy even when you are not.

[quote]Maybe beautiful because sexy probably fades quicker.

I don’t what is your definition of sexy, but I think it is quite the opposite. Beauty doesn’t last long, mostly in youth and early middle age. It fades with age and can’t be restored by cosmetic surgery. Someone mentioned good bone structure, it helps, but, the more beautiful the face, the bigger downfall. You often notice people who weren’t particularly pretty age better and grow into their looks. Or maybe, the difference is not so harsh.

While sexy can definitely last longer. Jean Paul Belmondo or Mick Jagger for eg. kept their sex appeal long into maturity.

It's not a choice I've had to ponder.

Sexy.

Sexy is about so much more than looks (beauty), and you can be sexy for much longer than you can be beautiful.

Guys who I hook up with say I'm sexy. So sexy it is.

This thread is way over due for this...

... And this

I've been called beautiful, even in books about some celebs I've dated, but people generally tell me that I'm very sexy. I like to be called both, but beautiful without the sexy ? no

^ "I've been called beautiful, even in books about some celebs I've dated"

Ok, spill 😏

r34 I can't it's not that easy. People are still alive, had partners, children, when they fucked me, legacies to protect...I'm sorry

^ Not good enough. You drop a DL delectable bomb like that without some, at least, vague backup?

Stop wiping your ass on me

Sloppy H types sexy, I do believe him.

R35 Are these people male, female or both?

@r38, I believe him too, I just want to know what I believe 😏

Beautiful without sexy means boring.

SEXY! I only want people to feel an uncontrollable urge to ravish me senseless!

I’ve never really been called beautiful but I have been called sexy.

I’ll take sexy.

Sexy over beautiful but damn those rare guys who are both are the true catches.

I’ve dated both and beautiful only gets boring fast.

It’s only those who are both that can conquer the world.

I feel like the only people who approached me were nutcases (I used to be beautiful) my sexy friend got warm and kind people. So I'd go for sexy.

I’m so happy that I’m both.

R41- Christopher Reeve was a good example of that.

Sexy, sexy, sexy, all day and night. Sometimes Men that aren't conventionally handsome, can be sexy as hell. Memories.

What about ugly and sexless people?

^ We send the poor dears little makeover kits for Christmas ☹️

Beautiful is always sexy so..

See and I think we endow beautiful people with sex appeal whether they are truly “sexy” or not. I actually think more people would agree on who society deems subjectively beautiful, but “sexy” is wildly personal. And the big Hollywood sex symbols are usually very pretty people, male or female.

And what does sexy MEAN anyway? Is it the same as just…sexual? You can’t tell who will be crap in bed just by looking at somebody. But sex appeal/ beauty are also about status in our society. The average person will never know what Brad Pitt or Salma Hayek are actually like between the sheets. But they project a sexuality, and it’s certainly not independent of their “beauty”. And the bragging rights of bagging one of them would be almost completely independent of the actual experience itself.

Does it simply come down to a body vs. face thing? For me a really nice ass goes a long way. So if the face is only so-so, but the buns are hot, I’m in. That’s Christopher Meloni for me. But if you have a face only a mother could love, I’m not interested. Doesn’t matter if you had the nicest ass on the planet. But a really attractive face and a so-so ass? Count me in. So I guess that makes me a beauty person?

The comments, girls, girls, girls!

Sexy is tension between two people seeking release. I agree someone can be incredibly sexy, with a so so face yet we still seek them to fruition, like a one night stand…

Beautiful is more of an ideal of perfection, sometimes shared, often in the eye of the beholder. A completeness.

Beautiful is more enduring, and you get his phone number the morning after.

Sexy is kind of situationally specific, but Beautiful covers all.

Girls, everyone appreciates beauty, but as Granny used to say: man doesn't have to be beautiful. The way he moves, his voice, his expression, his charm, all that makes him sexy is what matters.

I would take David Gahan of Depeche mode in his heyday, who would never be considered beautiful nor conventionally handsome, nor tall over dull handsome Clooney and other Hollywood male dolls, any day.

R31 Rod sure was sexy and not beautiful in the slightest.

Luckily I am both

Though it is so unfair how straight men are free in expressing their sexuality and appreciated for it, while women and bottoms are slut shamed.

I'd prefer to be neither, since I'm both sexy AND beautiful and it makes life nearly unbearable.

At my peak late 20’s in the late 90’s, I was “beautiful” for about three years, which is an absolute lifetime in gay circles. It’s my experience NO gay man stays peak beautiful more than three years or so, unless they completely change their appearance and become a hot daddy. I was able to turn every head walking into a club, and had put a lot of effort into my appearance at the time.

At one point I was on a full page advertisement every single week in a gay rag as a bartender at a big club in Boston. There were a few weeks I dreaded opening that paper- because there are only two responses from gay guys when confronted with beauty-

The first is they get tongue tied, or try to behave differently than they really are- so you’re not really meeting the person, but what they think you’ll like. They also assume a lot about beautiful people, or have some sort of preconceived notion of what you’re like, or that you have it easy, are high maintenance, are domoneering, a cunt, or stuck up because of your looks. I once had a young guy remark, “Wow, you’re nothing like I’d thought you’d be.”

They also come after you even after you’ve shut them down (the older ones anyways) or make wrong assumptions about your “type”. I had a rule never to sleep with anyone in Boston because it was part of the mystique that kept them coming to my bar, LOL. That only seemed to make them double down on their efforts. They also don’t take beautiful people seriously, which I assume is true of women too.

The second reaction insecure gay men make when confronted with beauty is they hiss and recoil from it. It was like dousing an evil witch with a bucket of water. I had another older bartender make it very difficult for me because he was aging out at the time and he felt I stole the spotlight from him. There were other handsome men that deliberately ignored me, pretended they didn’t know me when introduced, or wanted nothing to do with me because they felt I was getting all the attention and sucked all the air out of the room if I was standing next to them. This happened with friends too, I was out with a friend that had a hard time meeting new people, and when a guy finally approached him and he got excited to meet somebody, it was because he wanted my friend to introduce him to ME. Aww, I felt terrible about that one.

I really maximized those three years in every way because I knew it wouldn’t last, I also paid close attention to older gay guys and they gave me lots of great advice. If you are beautiful, enjoy every moment of it because it really doesn’t last, and for the love of God, don’t bank on having your looks forever!

Sexy doesn't last. Beauty, actual beauty (bone structure, facial symmetry, excellent skin, etc), lasts a lot longer. Diana Mosley, for example, kept her beauty even in old age.

R62 You are illogical. Excellent skin doesn't last long, bone structure gets lost in saggy skin. Even while the skin is still good and people have good genes, the youthful freshness and glow and expression that makes beauty, gets lost quickly.

While real sexiness, the attitude, the swagger, the moves, the aura can last much longer.

Look at Jagger in 90 s in this clip and you will know what I mean. Find me someone whose beauty lasted as long.

Obviously both definitions are up for debate, but there’s nothing more annoying than a good looking guy with little sex appeal or that lacks a palpable sexual energy,

Sexy men are lucky in love.

Beautiful people receive a level of automatic respect that I’ve never experienced, while sexy people can find themselves disposed of once they’ve been used. I’d go with beautiful.

R66 you don’t know what sex means. Sexy men use others more than they are used themselves.

sorry, meant: what sexy means

You can learn how to be sexy and sensual. And not everyone recognizes or appreciates sensuality. You can't really make yourself naturally beautiful. Just more attractive.

Beautiful people can rule the world.

Yet, R69, for time being, it is Sleepy Joe and Vlad Putin that rule the world.

^^^ You know what I mean, R70. Even if metaphors aren't your thing.

Maybe sense of humor is not your forte R71

I was beautiful in my prime. Not just hot because I was young. But beautiful.

It was awesome. All the rumors are true: Everything is easier. From getting jobs to renting an apartment to getting a drink to everything.

(And, in my experience, enough people find beautiful people to be sexy as well. So it's a win/win.)

Matt Bomer is an example of someone beautiful who is not really sexy. Maybe he will learn how to be more sexy as he ages.

No, if he didn't so far R74.

Besides, I don’t think you can really learn how to be sexy. Either you have it or not, just like beauty. I am not sure if we are talking about the same thing. That is why I gave example of Mick Jagger. He is a good singer, but his sex appeal and charisma took him to heights that better singers couldn't imagine. And he was never considered beautiful.

And Matt Bomer with his beauty could never dream of success that Jagger achieved with sex appeal, so one vote for sexy.

Young Joe Biden defiantly had a sexy thing going on. All the Biden men do

Sex appeal derives from self confidence.

^ Exactly, that's why sexy is different than beautiful. Sexy is attitude as much as looks, beauty is just looks

Shawn Mendes is another example of really handsome, beautiful guy, who has no sex appeal.

Sex appeal and sensuality absolutely derives from confidence and that can be developed over time.

Fortunately or unfortunately it may come as the beauty fades. There's a plus either way.

I disagree with you, R61. Confidence is needed, but it takes more than confidence. It is some natural energy. There are people who are confident and look nice and have good vibes, but don't have it. You know people who even seem asexual. It is like talent for music, not everyone who practice can become a tenor in La Scala.

Maybe we are not talking about the same thing. You people might be talking about people who are fuckable, while I meant people with sexual charisma.

^ Having sexual charisma means they're quite fuckable 🤔

Tons of women are fuckable when younger (to straight men and DL bisexuals), but Chaka is the sexy one, even though she wouldn't be considered to be of ideal proportions.

r84 ugggghhhhhh,

R85?

R84 Do you understand what I meant? Something more than just ok, I could do him (her).

Definitely beautiful.

R60- Are you going to say-

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful

Sexy, of course. A person can have beauty without realizing or taking full benefit of the fact. To be sexy, though, requires at least some crumb of self-awareness.

People gape at the beautiful, but the sexy requires some sort of dynamic between the two parties. People admire beauty, they want sexy.

Passably okay sex with beautiful person? Or rules out the window animal-like sex seered forever in your mind? Which do you choose?

Bump

Beauty has more power than sexy. Sexy is great, mind you.

Amazing and beautiful!

I would prefer to be full

I know there are needy sexy people -- but are there needy beautiful people?

[quote]And what does sexy MEAN anyway?

BDF vs symmetrical facial features.

Any little shop bottom can mince into the neighborhood, get your husband hooked on meth and be considered sexy.

But beauty comes from within.

The question is just bogus. The two can hardly be considered mutually exclusive.

Beautiful. I'm ready sexy.

[quote]The problem with being beautiful is that it fades. Sexy is more of an aura, attitude...that can last longer when beauty is gone. It's sort of like charisma.

Actually I think the opposite is true. A beautiful man if he takes care of himself will be a beautiful older man. People will still say he's very handsome for his age. A sexy man is not just attitude, it's also physical appearance. Usually a good body which does fade no matter what. And if your face is fug then you have nothing when you are older.