Jennifer Aniston covers the December issue of Allure!

That first photo of her is incredibly unflattering. Why the hell did Allure choose that one for the cover?

What did she do to her face? And why is she trying to act like JLo?

Early Madonna Face. U in danger, grangurl.

The cover photo is badly photoshopped. She looks like an uncanny valley Madonna. The beach selfie showing her natural skin texture (mostly- there's still some smoothing going on in the face area) looks much better.

Filler overload has begun.

When I saw OP's pic, my first thought was Madonna, too!

Fifth thread on this. Complete FAIL to search beforehand.

Why did they choose the worst photo *ever* of her for the cover? She doesn't even look like herself. Someone at Allure must HATE her.

She looks like an Olson twin in the first photo.

I knew I saw that bikini before!

R16 It's so vulgar.

She looks ridiculous and far too thirsty. She’s also a celebrity that literally no one cares about…however her publicists work overtime to feed constant information to the media and they lap it up and regurgitate it back to us.

The styling is fun, all of those really well known ‘trashy’ main brand pieces. Weird photoshopping and pic choices tho.

She has nothing to hide…except that massive chin.

How did she get this spread and who told her the styling was a good idea? She has a great body but it doesn’t mean she needs to be near nude for us to appreciate it.

“Thirsty” is the right word, R18.

Is the first photo the push-button model of Jennifer Aniston?

[quote]She’s also a celebrity that literally no one cares about…however her publicists work overtime to feed constant information to the media and they lap it up and regurgitate it back to us.

OP's drooling post certainly sounds as though it was written by one of her publicists.

No one cares about her??? You delusional???

Why can't women just age? She's in her md-50s; when do you stop trying to be 21 4-ever?

R24 was typing forever too hard for you?

Pathetic.

Gorgeous!!!

Who wore it better?

This is their last print issue. They’re going strictly digital.

Jen is so tired of people speculating why she never had children. Some blamed her for Brad straying, going to that whore Angelica, because it was thought Jen didn't want kids. Now we know SHE TRIED for years, through InVitro. It wasn't meant to be, and people kept picking at her, saying she only wants a career, not a family.

I guess we're supposed to be focused on her body, but her face looks truly awful in the first photo.

R30=Jen Aniston

Jen, we're also tired of you, too. Won't you please go away, you old, thirsty thing? You're solidly in your 50s.

And that cover photo shows far too obvious work you've had done.

"that whore Angelica"

Oh, dear, R30

Fertility/reproduction should be off-limits but there’s adoption and surrogacy if she really wanted to be a parent. This pity party should have been wrapped up long ago but they keep giving her an outlet.

On another note, I admire Jennifer’s ability to build (and maintain) a career around her hair. It’s far too long for a woman in her 50s but it’s like some sort of emotional support animal at this point.

If Jen wanted a family and couldn't make kids with her eggs, she could have adopted.

Her face, though...

She's debuting her new face on the cover of Allure.

R37 duh.

Duh, huh, R38? Well, tell us: does she know how she looks?

On multiple threads we are discussing Jennifer's new face on the cover of Allure. And you pipe in at R38 on this thread to say "She's debuting her new face on the cover of Allure." Well duh the fuck duh. WE KNOW.

Mary R40, take a Midol. Jesus!

We're not ALL on multiple DL Jernnifer Aniston threads like you, you old bitch R40.

Queens like R40 get very offended when they post something and somebody else posts something similar to it down thread.

Yeah I'm a bitch.

Hey, I don't know if anyone has noticed. But that is Jennifer Aniston. And she is on the cover of Allure! With a new face!

It reminds me of the Alyssa Edwards camera dress.

She got booted off Drag Race for it.

Of course Alyssa was much younger than Anuson, whose face looks like SJP's face after reconstruction from being trampled by a horse.

Sororicide attempt, you know.

R44, please. Just lie down. Take a nap.

I like her and her body is fantastic but that cover photo…just, no.

Her body looks masculine on the cover photo.

Face is unrecognizable. Holy fuck.

Iggy Pop looks hot.

I'm sure Jen didn't have kid because she just didn't want to quit smoking and have the stretch marks that come with a pregnancy. How many years has she been smoking at least one pack a day? 30 years? 35?

R50 called it!

Her nose and mouth are weird, she has that simian look that the Olsen Twins have.

And her eyes are unrecognizable. She had those crinkly "smiling" eyes before which were actually one of her more endearing features, but I'm sure that doesn't age well. Now she looks in a constant state of wide-eyed surprise. This is Jennifer Grey/Renee Zellweger-level plastic surgery regret.

Honestly, how many of you could deal with the scrutiny she's been under? She was publicly humiliated when Brad left her for Anjeliqua. She may have been the Favorite Friend, The 'Haircut' but she has had a mother who betrayed her (another reason I believe she never could face having kids), and the media swarming her and taunting her about Brad and That Woman. Her other relationships have all failed, too. I held out hope Brad would go back to her (his mother wanted him to) but he's the typical 60 year old wanting a 25 year old.

The cover looks very similar to that National Geographic issue from around 2008. Where they recreated what a neanderthal woman might have looked like.

You're far too invested in this, R55. If your posts are parodies of a crazed fan, they're not that funny.

I think she looks good, albeit different in the face. I don’t know why they had to use such a vulgar bikini, it’s tacky. Also enough with the long center parted hair Jennifer. It’s for the youth.

Not hawt

She's overdone the plastic surgery, doesn't even look like herself anymore.

She looks like (a young) Angelica Houston in that cover photo

No, R61. She looks like a 53-year-old woman, who's had work done. That's not what a young Anjelica Huston looked like.

The Iggy Pop comparison was far more apt.

If I wanted to look at old and saggy, I would stand in front of the mirror. She was never all she thought she was and now that she’s old she is just sad. Better looking gals working at Walmart.

R40, how interesting. Would you mind repeating it if someone in Oakland had their windows closed, please?

father time truly is undefeated, the surgery/fillers sure as fuck didn't help if anything she looks weird

R64 = Angie

She was born in 1976, which would make her 46.

Joan Van Ark has never looked better!

R68 her birthday is 2/11/1969

She looks like a middle-aged Mamie Van Doren in that photo.

Suddenly, Rachel dressing up as a cheerleader to impress Joshua no longer seems quite as pitiful. Everything's relative.

DL needs to start calling her Graniston: Grandma Aniston.

Caption for R1 :

Jennifer Anniston for Life Alert Bracelets

I think she actually debuted this refresh in the second season of The Morning Show.

She needs to stop with her plastic surgeries before ending looking like Madonna.

LOL! Plastic surgery, Photoshop, and airbrush.

Her poor toilet. She’s a real fug.

The non-cover photos look good.

The glazed expression looks like nobody’s at home, which leaves you with nothing but the body, and who cares? Juicy little starlets by the dozen are forever looking for someone to point a camera at them, and can’t get out of their clothes fast enough when somebody obliges.

Time has pushed this gal out of that league and into the one where the compliments begin with, “For a woman her age …”

R71 My tits are bigger!

Not everyone who wants to have a child wants to pay another woman to rent her uterus or adopt a non bio kid.

Her "miracle baby" of 2014 is now an irascible but lovable 8 year old!

For an editor to have approved that cover shot is unpardonable.

Re: r82:

So, she miscarried?

I don’t know much about this gal’s life as I never watched ”Friends.” And in fact none of her follow up projects have ever appealed to me.

I did see “Cake” and dimly remember she was decent… no better, no worse.

Chinnifer Maniston

The tabloids made up increasingly hysterical "Jen is pregnant!" stories for years: she would have 25 kids if all the stories were true, but it was all malarkey.

Remember in the 90’s when women wanted her hairstyle? Not now, yuck!

[quote]The tabloids made up increasingly hysterical "Jen is pregnant!" stories for years: she would have 25 kids if all the stories were true, but it was all malarkey.

More like 125 kids, and that's probably a conservative estimate. The various supermarket tabloids and cheesy People magazine knock-offs announced she was pregnant virtually weekly, and, of course, Brad Pitt was almost always the father. These phantom babies were going to finally bring America's Dream Couple back together. But the "Jen is pregnant" stories were just as fake as any Bat Boy or space alien story published in the Weekly World News, and a lot less entertaining.

"Two sons at once!"

She was giving birth in the tabloids as often as Cher was dying...

It's obviously an impressive body, but her face looks rock-hard somehow. The other photos are indeed better - was it too difficult to show off her body with a nice artsy shoot instead of this weird Maxim/FHM shit? The Iggy Pop comparisons have always made sense, I also laugh on Kath and Kim when they put the wig on Kel after he finds out he's descended from an 'Anistonis'.

These rags have sold so many copies of their magazines on the back of her personal life - I am honestly sick to death of hearing about it. She just isn't the most interesting person. I did like her performance in The Good Girl a lot though. Would like to see her making more character-driven indies.

Loved her in Office Team or whatever it was, where she played the waitress. She was also good on the sketch show, The Edge (with Julie Brown). Her personal life has had more attention than any other woman, save Princess Diana. She seems to handle things with good humor. I would love for she and Brad to reunite, if only to see Angelika's head explode.

R91 Office Space. Yes, I think she's a good comedienne and a competent actress. I thought she was very good in both The Good Girl and Cake.

I actually enjoy Jennifer Aniston. I think she seems like a fun person. She appears to have a good time in all the silly movies she's cast in, but I'm cringing at these photos. Yes, she's in great shape, but her hair that length looks sloppy and "try hard." The hair alone does more to emphasize her age as opposed to providing the impression of youthfulness. Also, this desperate-seeming focus on appearing sexy is demeaning for a woman her age. As she gets older, I think exhibiting a playful, gracious dignity or even a quirky effortless chic would suit her better and not diminish the fact she's does have a certain sexy quality. Instead, this photo series pushes out a garish sexpot persona that's kind of conspicuous and jarring. More mystery, less va va va voom, please.

Lol R73! I think she's trying to look sultry, but it comes off as disgusted or distressed, like she smelled something foul or is holding in a fart. She's always been an exhibitionist. Like walking down the hall nude in The Breakup and the ridiculous stripper scene in We're The Millers. Thirsty AF.

Haha at least somebody is calling her (and Allure) out on it.

I like her, she seems decent and has good comic timing. I’d like to see her in more indie drama and I’d like her to lean into her latent cuntiness.

Jen’s hair looks too Z list here and that styling is fucking awful. It looks likes she’s copying Katrashian and a bit desperate, frankly. Worst I’ve seen her in for a very long time. Sack that stylist, Jen.

She can be a hot older woman- with clothes on. Be aspirational, not pitiful, Jen.

was she REALLY married to Justin Theroux or was it some kind of Hollywood hotep-witchdoctor affair?

She was never really a tits out, ass in a thong kind of persona. More a girl next door. This screams mid-life crisis.

She chose her ass over her face.

Why do people still do this? Hasn't the cover been blown (pardon pun) on Photoshop and airbrushing enough times for everyone to know those photos will bear absolutley NO resemblance whatsoever to how she actually looked in the studio when they were taken. Those photos are literally images of noone. Certainly not Jennifer's actual body. Its a computer generated fantasy. What is the point?

Beanie is hotter.

[quote] was she REALLY married to Justin Theroux or was it some kind of Hollywood hotep-witchdoctor affair?

That was pretty odd. I think TMZ discovered they were never really married. They tried to find a marriage license and you know if anyone can get that, it’s TMZ. So despite them claiming to be married, they never were legally. Hence why there was never talk of an actual divorce been finalized. Justin also had a long time gf that he left and presumably cheated on with JA. It’s like a Laura Dern situation, they’ve been the cheated on woman and the other woman.

Her relationship with Justin Theroux is even stranger with him coming out after this Allure article to commiserate with Jen re: HER struggle to conceive.

They were allegedly married during some of those IVF cycles, so it would have been a joint struggle; it’s almost as if he’s talking about a fuck buddy and not a former partner.

We’ve established that Jen is thirsty; we might as well add “pressed” because a fake marriage is just desperate and sad.

Why is Robert Downey Jr. in a blonde wig and bikini on the cover of Allure?

Please Jennifer, don’t go down the Madonna route. Just …don’t.

How did she get her tits to still be perky instead of saggy? A lift?

Both of Jennifer’s two main relationships always seemed off. I always got the feeling it was more friends with benefits than marriages (even the fake one). I think she likes being single and child free, hanging with her friends.

Never heard of her. Don’t know her.

[quote]Both of Jennifer’s two main relationships always seemed off.

I think she may be lesbionic.

I like her except for her smugness.

She usually looks good, but her face is off in these photos and she looks like she's been crying in the one where she is wearing red and lying down.

Clothes, hair and accessories generally vulgar as fuck, though.

Hasn't she been a long time, secret partner of Monica?

Didn't I read that somewhere??

R112 well her tears are real. It's been many years since Brad left her for that home wrecker slut.

barren hussy

[quote]That was pretty odd. I think TMZ discovered they were never really married. They tried to find a marriage license and you know if anyone can get that, it’s TMZ. So despite them claiming to be married, they never were legally. Hence why there was never talk of an actual divorce been finalized.

I think he lived on one of her estates for awhile after they broke up so obviously no hard feelings. I know nothing about Justin, but I liked them as a couple for some reason.

They were about the same size and same level of looks, and they seem to be the same kind of laid back and fun, but still pretentious and materialistic and superficial, and about 50% fake.

Why is this woman a star?

She’s has had such a middling career. She’s just kept the Sharon Stone level publicity going

Aniston, Bullock, Kidman, Chastain, Bowen, Swift, Delany, M Cross = self loathing lesbians

Her face looks awful in the OP’s photo. Why are her eyes so bugged out? Like she’s getting a rectal exam without warning.

Allure wanted Marlo to do this pictorial, but Phil talked her out of it.

Aniston must have really pissed off someone at Allure. There's no other explanation for why the worst photo of the lot was chosen for the cover. Her shell-shocked facial expression and that ludicrous swimsuit border on parody.

Those pics are all over the place. A little bit of Mariah, a pinch of JLo, a whole load of Madge.

Who IS that person?!?!?!

Aniston looked her best around season 7 when she had unfussy wavy hair and looked healthy, with nice boobs and ass.

[quote]They were about the same size and same level of looks, and they seem to be the same kind of laid back and fun, but still pretentious and materialistic and superficial, and about 50% fake

Accurate.

Nor a fan of Jenny Anustown. Never have been. Highly overrated for everything-even for her hair.

Jenni Ani has never looked great. Nothing like that hottie Co Cox.

[quote]How did she get her tits to still be perky instead of saggy? A lift?

No, witchcraft!

I think Jen looks great for 53, with all she's been through. Brad ditched her for that Whore, she can't carry a baby to term, her acting career has stalled. She's taken the high road and not complained at all.

Jen has a good body, but she’s never been a beauty. And her face seems stretched or something.

Each of her facial features seem enlarged.

She's sadly gone the way of Cher and Madonna: "I might be old enough to be a grandmother but I'm still a HOT HOT HOT babe!!" Well, she doesn't look "hot" in those photos, just very artificial.

R20 Nude would be a lot better than the stupid Dior lettering or the weird bikini. It seems random and definitely not classy.

Those extensions are tragic.

She has always been very plane.

[quote]She has always been very plane.

You mean her famous "Rachel" hairdo allowed her to become airborne, like Sally Field in "The Flying Nun"?

For someone who is mostly Greek and Italian she has a small rack! She looks good for her age though . Who is her latest lover? Is she loving ladies these day?

She ain’t all that. She think she all that, but she ain’t all that.

Ugh, that cover is a disaster, all the other photos from the shoot were better. And if she is going for aged nudes should have been braver and do it allthe way.

I actually like her in The Morning Show, but her face is getting bigger and strange. Hope she stops it and does not end like her friend Cox.

R140 I'll tell her she's starting to look inhuman, just like I told Courtney.

Her father just died.

Boner killer Anuston

I will give Jennifer Aniston credit for pulling off this schtick better than Nicole Kidman did as a 60 year old naughty schoolgirl and musclebound body sculptor photo shoots.

The people at Allure magazine must really HATE her.

who ever the hell is responsible for that cover should be fired. It's hideous. The entire thing is a mess.

That cover doesn't make me want to read the magazine at all.

Her dad saw the cover and immediately dropped dead.

Oh poor Jen

I don't blame him R146. It kind of repulses me and makes me want to look away

Well now we know what happened to John Lennon’s glasses.

Are you cute R134. How do you get Dior from

R150, we all understand how the first photo in OP was enough to put you off viewing the remainder of the pictures but R7 has the “stupid Dior lettering” that was rightfully mocked.

Ah OK, thanks.