Jessica Simpson slurs speech, looks corpse-like in ad for Pottery Barn Kids

That hairstyle/color is no longer flattering. I just don't understand that "Trump bimbo" style that they all insist on maintaining.

Benzos? Booze?

She looks much thinner than I ever remember her being.

But I was never a fan so I don't remember her heyday figure.

That's how white women age without major plastic surgery or tons of makeup.

I saw an interview when she was promoting her memoir. She had a stange way of speaking. She was doing the mouth grinding thing crackheads do.

She has the same vacant, sad eyes as Britney, even down to the morning after raccoon makeup. And her speech gives Xanax/Valium energy.

These poor women are so irreparably damaged after being pimped out by their daddies for the world’s viewing pleasure, they should band together (with Lohan and all the others) and start a support group.

Maybe too much Botox. Frozen face and slurring.

Back on the sauce, for sure. With a side helping of Adderall to keep her from the tipping the scales again.

“Thith really tuh me ith Birdie’s perthanality.”

Wow, she looks terrible and sounds worse. She’s also lisping. Where did her breasts go? She looks a bit like Taylor from Real Housewives Beverly Hills.

Yikes, I’m shocked her team + PB let this go out. She looks really sick here.

She and batty Britney are picking right up where Anna Nicole left off.

Ladybird Johnson

R9 The sad part is, Taylor looks better. And she can still string a sentence together.

Her daughter is cute, but using her and her room to shill for Pottery Barn Kids isn't.

R6 got it. Beyoncé has the same dead eyes now, too.

Was this a Halloween ad? If so, Jessica looked perfect, like a blond vampire.

It’s crazy how much traction this clip got on social media. Pottery Barn can’t be happy. She does look (and sound) like a mess.

Something about that clip screams heavy meds to me more than booze, but I'm no expert by any means.

Not white women, R4. American women.

Are we due for another remake of Pet Sematary?

I break this out whenever I need a good laugh.

Oversinging implies competence...

R21 I loved her oversinging

R21 This one is even better. Poor Jewel!

LOL! Thank you for that, R24. I've never seen that before.

The latest addition to Jessica’s unparalleled oeuvre.

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LOL, that clip at R24 is HILARIOUS!

She’s emaciated and is smaller than her tween daughter. Adderall, blow, meth? That new injection all the celebs are on?

The horrible thing is that this ill appearance gets her attention, which affirms her.

I truly don’t know how Jewel managed to keep a straight face in that hilarious clip at R24!

It seems the only person who reveled in attention but decided to actually grow up and go away and live a quiet life, is Nicole Ritchie.

Quiet? She has maintained a media presence.

Has she? I haven't seen her years.

My brother’s wife is a Botox/filler hound, she spends thousands at the MedSpa every month. She considers it part of her “maintenance,” like hair and nails (and yes, they’re both deplorable Trump people). She has a slur/lisp due to partial paralysis of her mouth.

In^

She should have gotten more songs like this because all this dancing made her avoid making her high notes so over the top. She has some high shouty notes here too but they seem more controlled. Here she sounds actually really good.

Yes R37 she’s a naturally gifted dancer as well.

Damn, at r35 she looks like she could be Liza Minnelli's daughter.

Jessica regarding Chicken of the Sea tuna..."Is this chicken, or tuna I'm eating?"

Her giant picket fence/buck tooth veneers are part of the reason she appears so halfwitted and dopey. She looks like Faith Hill’s backwoods, autistic cousin.

In her memoir she confesses to being drunk all day every day. I agree with the poster above who suggests her demeanor in the Pottery Barn video looks more like medication than booze. She's lost a lot of weight which is hard to do if you're boozing, It's baffling why she would want to shill for the Barn when she is loaded and has her shoe company, but maybe she needs to keep busy.

I think Simpson is very talented and though her parents don't come off as abusive, given that there is so much pressure for a young child in show business they don't sound like they were particularly attentive either.

It couldn't have helped have her dad be a closet-case.

R42 I can relate. I too am drunk all day every day. Although I’m better at hiding it.

[Quote] It's baffling why she would want to shill for the Barn when she is loaded and has her shoe company, but maybe she needs to keep busy.

She apparently bought back her name after the company she sold it to went to the wall.

Oh, no, dear…she’s not talented in the slightest.

Amazon just finished shooting a TV show based on her memoir. The actress playing Jessica doesn’t resemble her in the least, but maybe she‘s a great slurrer?

Well, Lily James doesn't resemble Pamela Anderson, so we'll see...

R47 John Stamos?? Who’s he playing, the closet case dad?

That happens when you're over 40 and lose a lot of weight. She should sue the plastic surgeon for those lips though

She used to have HUGE tits, they were at least DDs, could have been DDDs though. She doesn't look good like this. The common thinking is that she kicked booze and now indulges in pills (to help keep the weight off).

Disagree about having no talent. As campy as this is, she had potential.

Everyone said Anna Faris’s character in “Just Friends” was based on Brittney, but Faris later admitted Samantha James was actually based on Jessica Simpson.

That portrait is nothing like Jessica Simpson.

Meth and the mini gastric sleeve surgery.

What do we know about Jessica's (current) husband?

Did she fuck John Mayer while still married to Nick or was it after the divorce?

Holy shit! She looks scary!

She looks emaciated. This is how emaciated people look without filters.

Losing a ton of weight when you're older (especially really fast) will age the fuck out of you. She lost 100 lbs.

R46 = Christina Aguilera

I like what she's doing with the heavy dark liner under her eyes.

I thinks she’s lost 100 lbs 3 different times after each pregnancy.

R61

She’s no Liza on QVC.

She looks awful.... her eyes are dark and hollowed out... she has crack/meth mouth tics.... she looks like a crack head.

Schlurring?

Sad, she was the hottest of all the girls in this music video (Seacrest doesn't count)

Eva, Christina, and the black girl (Christina Milian or Ashanti?) are probably laughing their asses off.

I've read a couple of times her saying North West is her daughter's best friend. What a combo with those nutty families.

Guess all that money doesn't buy happiness, huh?

She gained too much weight and then lost it all. When you put on too much in middle age and then lose it, the skin doesn't bounce back the way it does when you're younger. You'll look gaunt.

I'm thinking she needs to be on our death watch thingie. She is anorexic for sure.

Probably adderall and Xanax and either gastric bypass or the new weight loss injection medications

She looks like Lea Michele now with the lip thing too.

Holy fuck she sounds like she has a speech impediment

This came up randomly on my instagram feed, and I truly screamed. She looks skeletal.

Yikes—what happened to her?!!

Omg

Jessica is letting us HAVE IT!

Mesmerizing!

Her and Paris are so annoying... claiming that their dumb blonde persona was an act. Failed attempts at revisionist history. You can tell they are complete idiots in every single interview they've ever done.

That idiot went from Nick to banging Knoxville and she got too thin back then too. She looks better with a little weight on her. She has a strong jawline which looks more masculine when she is too thin. Her husband seems like he is bought.

Those duck lips! QUACK QUAAAAAAAACK!

The black eyeliner makes her look anorexic

leave her alone, she looks fine.

Doesn't she have at least a billion from all her clothing and perfume lines? Must have very good handlers. She cheated on Nick and doesn't seem smart. Appears troubled. Attracted the wrong kind of guy (again)