I'm Addicted to Cocaine

Just keep doing it. I bet you are the slimmest, most energetic you have ever been. Not all Drs. know what they are talking about.

You basically have to lose the friends that do coke and lose the contact info for your dealers.

[quote] What should I do?

Why don't you cut off your penis? You're obviously a very sensible man.

Do you have insane coke sex?

I haven't done it in a long time, but man. Coke sex (as a bottom) was truly the best.

R1 everyone has been complimenting me on my weight loss, actually.

R2 that's what everyone says but how do I just give up friends?

[quote]What should I do?

You should put yourself and your not very promising future into the hands of a bunch of snarky anonymous strangers on a superficial website, strangers who care even less about you than your coked-out friends do.

Switch to Diet Coke.

Find new friends.

Cut your coke with some Fentanyl and you won't have to worry about this ever again.

Is coke sex better than meth sex ?

It's very simple really. If you believe in god, pray your ass off. If you're an atheist coke your ass off.

R11 Praying doesn't work, dummy.

[quote]that's what everyone says but how do I just give up friends?

You block all their numbers and forget they exist.

join a cult.

whore yourself out to sXe straight edge bdsm daddy to lock you into chains.

go backpacking for six months, hit skidrow and whore yourself out until you hit bottom or die of vd

Well you have to stop,OP. Eventually it'll catch up with you. Its very easy to lose everything on coke, and very easy not to care that you do. I'm not gonna bullshit you, coke is a great drug and very hard to stop, but you should try.

coke is the drug of choice for republicans.

coke and meth.

are you a magat?

OP is a crackhead.

Fuck off R16. Anyone can get hooked on on anything and you know it. Is every thread a thread you troll?

Are you writing from 1987?

Therapy and rehab, OP. Not many people can do it on their own.

U-Haul Therapy. (e.g.: move far away). It worked for me, although my drug of choice was meth.

One thing I learned: Drug-friends are not the same as friend-friends.

Firstly, you need to admit you have a problem and you want to change for the better.

Cut back the amount you do and then quit completely. Ease off that way.

R12 I never said praying worked. Only if he believed in god. It would occupy his mind while he was killing himself with the cocaine. Either way is cool with me.

Why can't you be around friends, at least some of the time, while they do coke and you don't?

It might be difficult, but maybe, in time, you'll get used to being the sober one in the crowd, drinking your cocktails (in moderation), maybe smoking some pot (or some other 'step down' drug), and like R8 said, look for new friends.

Isn't there a narc-anon organization still operating, where you could find other people trying to give it up? Or join a bowling league or a book club or go to a Unitarian Church (you don't have to believe in anything but you do have to be a liberal) - just any kind of club or team or group that you have an interest in.

Brainstorm with your therapist. Everybody has trouble making new friends after 25 or 30, so don't feel bad if you don't have much success. Hell one friend is good enough - and people make it with no friends (especially if they have any family members at all that they're close to).

Oh, and if all else fails, get a pet.

Shut up Donny, we know.

Smoke pot instead. Less harmful

Cocaine Anonymous is a thing. You can use this national site to drill down to local in-person meetings. There are probably Zoom meetings as well. If there are no in-person meetings in your locale perhaps a combination of Zoom CA and in-person Narcotics Anonymous meetings would help. The in-person meetings are probably important for finding new friends to hang out with.

Of course the anti-12 step trolls will attack but it's free and you really don't to buy everything you here there. You're in therapy already so this can be in addition to therapy.

I know someone who stopped using. She never officially abandoned friends, but basically pulled away. She seemed to create a deadline for herself to get her life together. She made a mental priority list - husband, kid, house, career - and walked towards that and away from the rest. Within a few years she got them all.

She hides out in suburbia now and never goes to parties anymore but honestly, its better than the alternative. I saw her high several times and as happy as she might have felt, she looked and sounded nuts. I was embarrassed and concerned for her and I could tell she was losing her control over to the drugs. We were past the age where she could pretend she was "just experimenting". It was habitual. It was never enough to just get drunk - she and her buddies had to get high too and talk about bullshit. Thet weren't actually having a better time - they were just fucking themselves up. I don't use so watched and....it was sad.

The friend who supplied her continues to use, but is using less and finally taking an interest in his health. He's not a great influence honestly and I'm glad she's left him behind.

If you want to fix this, OP, ask yourself what you're missing out on or hiding from by doing coke.

Ask yourself how the people who really love you feel seeing you do drugs.

Remind yourself how you bought them, how they were made and smuggled and how illegal and dangerous they are. You could easily die or go to jail.

Ask yourself how much more valuable your life is.

It's your life. I hope you make it a better one.

As someone else already said, drug friends aren't real friends. You hang in packs because that way someone will always have some powder. It's a codependency.

Maybe you should put your feelings out there in your group. A few others might be willing to try giving up, too, but I doubt booze and weed are the answer. Being drunk/high makes you more likely to do the things you're trying not to do.

As for joining church groups etc. I think after the excitement of coke, you'll find that too much of a comedown. I haven't used drugs in decades and I still couldn't think of anything more boring/terrifying.

Good luck.

OP, some details required- how old are you? What do you work at? Are you living pay cheque to pay cheque or do you have surplus money for coke?

Please don't despair. I know two people, unconnected, who each were seriously into coke. The guy was introduced to it via hipster friends when he moved to the city. He was earning good money but blew everything on coke at weekends. He used to pawn things weekly to then pay his way on weekdays. After a year or so living like that he met a girl who was working in the fashion industry. You'd think that escalate his coke taking, instead she had no interest in drugs and he just stopped using. Years later they're still together, gorgeous kids, house, happy AF, his coke taking was a phase.

Example two; a girl with an addictive personality and some other issues. Long story short, I'd put her in the same category as you, daily user, except she was doing it for years. Always the first at a party to bring out the phone number of a dealer and liaise between the dealer and the partygoers. She'd then move on to the next party and rinse and repeat. This went on for at least three years if not more. She eventually aged out (30s), met a guy, moved away and is now a frau.

I'd say you were going through a phase OP, don't despair. Please don't turn to religion! Interesting how so many people are recommending Narcotics Anonymous.

I'm messaging from a country where not everything is resolved by therapy or counselling. Instead, it's a decision you make yourself and just break with it. Why waste money on therapy for something you already know is a problem. We all have addictive personalities, for some its social media, sex, booze, spending, whatever.

You've identified you have a problem OP, that's a major admission. I've no doubt some of your group will likewise come to the same realisation.

I'd say CHANGE YOUR ROUTINE first of all, OP.

If you're doing something everyday it's usually in a time-frame ritual kind of thing - like people who got to have their coffee in the morning. So first is to change up the routine that ends with you snorting coke. Do something else, a new routine - like make a cup of tea or some shit.

Once you disrupt the routine, start cutting down on your daily use. Then try to use only every other day, then every 4th day and so on.

There's also NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS aka NA if you're looking for a support groups or info.

Nah, you really need to drop your friends. Sever ALL connections with yayo in your life. PERIOD Also? Miss us with your "I'm gonna be alone" bullshit. Find a support group through social media--"All my friends are cokeheads. I need new ones" or something. There are others out there.

And be grateful that you haven't snorted your last line like countless others.

This seems to be a perverse logic humble brag.

Focus your addictive personality on something like Crossfit instead? You'll be unbearable, but you'll find other unbearable people to be friends.

And give your phone to a trusted family member or your therapist and get them to delete all the numbers.

Give us a ballpark: how much are you spending on coke per week, per month, per year? Maybe realizing how much you can save provides another incentive. I would also ask a doctor I can trust whether there are meds to help you through withdrawal like there are for waning yourself of nicotine.

[quote] Problem is, then I'll be alone

Answer is, then you'll be alone.

To find out who you really are.

NA Meetings, recovery activities provide an opportunity to change your playground and meet people who can't, and don't want to, ingest drugs.

If you don’t want to change anything then I guess you are not ready to stop. Why not rehab? Why not NA?

I’d be concerned about my heart and cardiovascular issues over time. And the financial picture. To me, the potential of losing my job or being unable to earn money represents a huge loss of freedom and privacy.

r18 yes, but coke remains the drug of choice for republicans, especially lobbyists and staffers. meth is more the speed for voters. there are lefties that enjoy meth but they're more likely to be greens.

biker, gang, skidrow NA meetings are better than dealing with soccer moms and church mice.

Have you tried writing a letter to cocaine about the many ways it has damaged your life? Then the next time you get the urge to use, just read the letter as a reminder. It's kind of like keeping pictures of thin, beautiful people on the refrigerator so you don't get fat.

Go to rehab. There are some nice facilities and they're covered by insurance. Consider it an extended spa vacation (seriously). It's only going to get worse if you keep going.

Wish I was addicted to cocaine. My life is so boring.

You are never going to be able to stop doing coke if you hang around friends that do coke all the time. It really is that simple OP. Sometimes you have to do hard things in life, you know what needs to be done but you are afraid to do it.

How much damn money are you spending on coke OP?!

I'll do it a couple nights a month when going to parties. It's not cheap

Remember that you and your friends are ENABLERS, and that you truly do not care about one another's well-being.

Cocaine addiction is all about chasing that high you got the very first time you did a line. Believe me, that was a once-in-a-lifetime and you can never get the same feeling ever again.

Ask yourself why you are doing this to your body, to your psyche. Cocaine is filthy, petrol and chemical-laden shit.

Change friends. Stop smoking and drinking, for they trigger you, and learn to be truly kind to yourself. I wish you the very best of luck.

"coke remains the drug of choice for republicans"

Eye roll to infinity and beyond.

Let’s be the 80s, I’m the coke!

OP, you will have to get into rehab, get a therapist who deals with addiction and other specific things (such as what your root problems are that lead you to a place where you find snorting drugs to be acceptable on a regular basis), and you will need a cocaine anonymous or AA or NA for at least a year or two, in order to remain drug free.

Sorry, but this is overwhelmingly the case.

Quitting cold turkey is almost impossible, and once you do quit cold turkey, if you accomplish that, you’ll find that you might start boozing it up more or doing other drugs addictively, or perhaps you’ll indulge in over eating, or become addicted to things you’ve never even imagined to be a problem until you find yourself isolated, with zero support from others who have once been in your situation.

When I quit cocaine, I became a food addict, and spent one whole year eating so much food, that I looked like a gigantic beach ball. And that was with a support group. Eventually, I got into hitting the gym regularly, quit smoking ciggies and over eating, and I made all new friends with a bunch of people who didn’t live with a straw in their nose 24/7.

Had I also been in therapy CONSISTENTLY at that time, I believe I wouldn’t have relapsed years later, and went on to do so several more times, and I’d be in a better place than I ended up without therapy for so many years.

So with appreciation for my mistakes and hindsight, I encourage you to get help asap, and to plug yourself into a new way of life with a support group and a therapist, as well.

You will struggle and flounder about if you don’t.

I hope you’re not the type that needs to hit rock bottom before getting sober, but sadly, most people do hit rock bottom before finally getting help, and none of us here on earth are special enough to escape the ravages of addiction.

Good luck, OP! ❤️

R48 You can roll your beady little eyes until they get stuck. The poster is absolutely correct.

Meth sex was "sooooo much better" I miss Meth sex in the late 80's& early 1990's.

Meth lasted longer, made my skin sensitive to the touches of other men (lots of men and women too) All the "pain, hurt, sorrow, all bad things went away" I was invincible at work (Wall Street)

Eventually, you reach that point or fork in the road& you have to stop "dancing with the Gay Demons", and you stop or you Die!! I stopped.

R5

How do you give up your current friends and find new ones? Talk to your therapist.

Better alone than in bad company.

There's this idea in our society that being alone is the WORST THING ever, but it isn't. Off the top of my head, I can already think of two things worse than being alone: 1) Having irreparable heart disease from cocaine; 2) dying from fentanyl-laced cocaine.

You can have lovely moments being alone. Reading a book. Taking a stroll through the neighborhood. Which is not to say that it is wrong to want friends. Wanting things is fine! But most of us are going through life without everything that we want, and we manage.

Finding new friends is definitely possible. People go on about how hard it is to find friends in adulthood, but I find that to be rather overwrought. Sure, it is hardER to find friends now than in childhood, but it's far from impossible. You just have to make the effort. You won't find friends watching TV in your living room.

If you have decent family, you could try falling back on hanging out with them too. Talk to grandparents who may be lonely, help out with babysitting nieces and nephews..

Cocaine's a helluva drug.

they are not your real friends

R54

I agree with most of what you say, but bear in mind that OP has been a daily user of cocaine for as much as five months. He may be addicted or have a psychological dependency. Dropping his friends may be harder than you imagine. He needs to discuss this with his therapist, maybe even go away for a short retreat so he can develop a new mindset.

We need specific details; using everyday could vary between a line or, gram after gram. Not saying there's a difference between small and big amounts when on the daily but still.

There are functioning alcoholics who need a drink or two in the evening after work, they don't drink to get shit faced but they are alcohol dependent. If we weren't discussing Class A drugs here, would people have a different response to OP?

But is it addiction-addiction?

Just Say NO!

OP, you're making excuses for not getting sober, par for the course. By all means, don't listen to your therapist, moron.

Phillywhore, dear, you are so fascinating! You should write an autobiography, and I'd be happy to edit it for you.

If you are using cocaine every day you have a problem r39. I'm not some school marm about drugs, I dabble myself, but OP needs to make a change.

Meant to reply to r59.

Andy Dick, is that you?

r59 it's the addicted part that fuels the response not the drug itself as can be evident by other threads.

Watch the nose OP. That cartilage is there for a reason.

Now we have The Weeknd posting here?

OP, great title for your thread. At least you're admitting you have a problem.

Just gotta take action. ANY ACTION.

one small step, one after another and it will get easier.

You are tough and strong, you can do it!

You can always make new friends!

Extrapolate from the following to the extent it helps.

I’m an alcoholic. I “quit” several times and life always improved. Then, I’d start drinking again and I’d be super careful with it, wanting to “control” it so I could keep doing it. It always got worse again, every time.

Finally, somebody in a class I was taking introduced herself to me as a recovering alcoholic, and I said I wished I was. She took me to an AA meeting the next day. This November I’ll have been sober for 38 years.

Thanks, largely, to the new friends I made in meetings back then. It’s been many years since I attended meetings regularly, 17 or more. I know how to live sober now.

Your drug friends are not the only people in the world. You just need to want your life enough to stop using, no matter what it takes. I was lucky. I knew I was an alcoholic. I knew I couldn’t stay sober on my own. I knew drinking was going to kill me. Once you realize every other avenue is closed to you, the one that works begins to look really good.

And one last thing: you may hear hysterical over-reactions to “the God thing” in AA/NA or that it’s a cult. That is raging bullshit. You can be an atheist, you can be an agnostic, you can be a full-on religious nut case. Everything remains up to you.

You DO have to own the fact that you are unable to control your addiction. You DO have to listen to people express the belief that a Higher Power relieved them of the burden of their addiction. You DO have to follow the suggested steps of recovery, the toughest of which is likely to be making a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself, followed by making amends to all those you harmed while using.

But you always have the option to use again and you already know you’re playing a deadly game with the only life you have.

I hope you listen to your therapist. You’re getting the straight scoop. If anybody on earth does not want you to recover from your addiction, it’s those “friends.”

no R19, I'm taking about 1985-1986. Cocaine IS a he'll of a drug, but destructive. If I can warn anyone about it will. Sorry that you have a problem with that. Now though, it could be laced with fentanyl, and it WILL kill you. I hate to sound like Nancy Reagan, but just don't do it. Your life is too valuable.

well, let's see, forehead flap is a 7 surgery process when there are no more insides to your nose.....this can occur from a rare disease, accident, or excessive use of cocaine- pick your fun

Save Your Own Life before you watch everything you have worked for and everything you aspired to be circles the drain never to be had again.

Cocaine and meth should be given a new name. Next time you purchase some say i'd like another 100 $ of DML .....destroy my life.

Five months of use isn't that much. I think some people on here are being real Marys about this.

I'm in agreement R76. However, crucial details are missing.

How much is OP taking in a day? Is it after work or is OP working?

Its five months since OP has reached the point of doing it EVERY day r76. He presumably has been using it recreationally much longer before full blown addiction.

Coke is a party drug, when you reach the point it's not something that you do recreationally for "special night out" but it's something that you need to take every day you have a full blown addiction

The problem is OP did a hit and run post. We don't know what she did because she disappeared.

OP, statistics don't lie. You will only stop when you run out of money, or keel over dead unless you find the desire to quit cold turkey.

She's off doing lines from between her husbear's dirty ass cheeks R79.

She'll be back on here when the buzz wears off.

^^this. It seems like the answer to everything wrong in your life. It'll take over and it won't just be a party drug, it'll become a way of life. Pretty soon you'll need it to get through everyday. Just try to stop. Jesus Christ, it will fuck up your life, if it doesn't kill you.

R76

Of course, the fact that OP thinks he's addicted and his therapist appears to agree means nothing. /s

Thanks for all the replies, I'm reading them now.

To give some perspective, I'm 34 so I'm much too old for this shit.

The guy I'm dating is involved in selling, which doesn't help. I pay for my drug but I get it at a 40% discount.

I still spend about 1k a month on coke. I have a high paying job and I'm not yet suffering financially.

I'm lowering my consumption level as of today. I'm also seriously considering a detox program, though I'd prefer to quit on my own.

I know I'm a drug addict and I hate that about myself.

Cocaine snuck up on me. I was around it for a few years before trying it. Once I did, it started out as something I did every couple months.

Then it was every few weeks, to every few days and now it's daily.

I do it morning to night. I work on it, attend meetings on it, do errands on it.

I know - it's fucked up.

OP came back, not a drive by posting!

Admitting it to yourself and posting this thread was a good first step Change it now before before you do some irreversible harm to your body. All that coke all day every day is horrible for you. And you are burning a lot of money for no reason, more productive uses for it.

But be realistic, if your boyfriend is a dealer and your friends use it all the time...how is that going to work out if you don't make any changes? You are in deep, and to make a real change you need to change the people around you IMO. Otherwise the temptation is too damn high, going to fall right back into old habits.

Coke does nothing for me—maybe wakes me up a bit—so I haven’t done it much.

Meth, on the other hand, was fun for a while. During the meth times, sex would be the focus. The absolute worst were the coke-heads. Instead of having sex, they would just talk talk talk.

I learned quickly to avoid the cokeheads.

The coke addiction center of the brain is the same as the gambling addiction center

What’s the sex addiction center close to?

OP = I was addicted to coke. I quit myself no rehab. I just hit rock bottom. I was broke, maxed out credit cards to pay for hobit, Sleeping for 20 hours straight coming off a coke binge. Snotty t-shirts everywhere because I was constantly blowing my nose. I took stock of my life. I also owed my dealer like 1000 bucks so I paid her off, and just stopped. I dropped y coke friends. I had to. I Stayed in or went to the gym to work off the stress. Not everyone can quit like that but try.

To me coke is not a sex drug r87, I struggle to even get hard when I've been doing coke.

It is for talking, keeping you energized and talkative at a party.

$1000/month isn't that much. That won't even get you an apartment in Queens.

I found a photo of OP:

Ok op i'll play : 1st dump the dealer boyfriend ( he aint your bf if he makes u pay) . 2nd LEAVE THE AREA ! (Very important) 3rd buy yourself a paper calender and a black marker. At the end of everydat you put a big black X across that day you didnt do any....by the first 7 days you can look at that and know u are saving yourself ! After a month you will be SO PROUD OF YOYRSELF ! It is going to be hard but at the same time easy. The "calender" saved my life.

People on coke think theyre the life of the party and so interesting. In actuality, everyone can tell you’re on coke and you can’t keep the same line of thought going for very long

The best part about the calender is you have one built into your IPhone or Android device. Just point and click.

Hard habit to shake!

For God's sake, OP?

Have you at least tried to switch to heroin?

FYI :

The “calendar” concept helped me beat Meth. I cut off my best fuck buddy—also a dealer or middleman. He understood and helped, by leaving me alone. Then I marked the calendar. 14 months and counting—not a single day of regret (well, I miss the great sex, but I’m all the better for it now).

Good for you r99 !!!

Keep fighting!

They found cocaine and fentanyl in Anne Heche.

Did they ever find out if she knew she took fentanyl?

And why would anybody put fentanyl in cocaine? If you're a dealer, can't you make more money selling them separately rather than just putting some in coke for free, and possibly losing a good paying customer to... well crashing into houses or elevators or whatever?

OP, I'm R15,18, 72,82, you have to quit. Understand. You already know it'll fuck up your life, or wouldn't have confessed it to DL. Go to your Grandparents or Mother or whoever you think can kick your ass into gear to help you stop. It'll take a moment of clarity to realize who that is. Good luck baby, i'll be thinking of you.

But Grandma is an enabler.

Here’s something OP, & others, need to understand:

Cocaine will permanently change the way your brain operates, as will ANY addiction.

A short while ago, I posted about how broke I am, and how I’m struggling with hardcore depression, which is what is causing me to be broke.

Yesterday, I had an extensive tele-health appointment with my doctor, in order to get a psyche evaluation asap, plus lab work in order to rule out or diagnose anything else that might be or might not be going on with me. I am SOOO happy, because I understand that my brain no longer works the way it once did, and I know I need help, even though I’m no longer partying.

What I want others to know is that even though I have legitimate C-PTSD going on, I also understand that cocaine and alcohol changed my brain forever. Even though it has been a VERY, VERY long time since I’ve snorted blow, depression is still a HUGE factor in my life, and I know that it’s as bad as it is because of my history with addiction, too.

Self medicating made everything MUCH worse.

OP, if you read this, please know that I’m saying this to you with zero judgment and full sincerity:

If you continue on this path, you may not die. You may not go broke. You might eventually stop using and even successfully recover. But the longer you continue doing this, the harder it will be on you.

You will undoubtedly suffer the effects of Anhedonia, and you will battle depression and perhaps even anxiety, for the rest of your life.

It’s NOT worth it OP. It really isn’t.

Please get help. Even with sobriety and bad depression, it is still a manageable depression if sober, and you will live a better life than being high constantly.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you, OP. I wish this particular type of hell on no one.

R103, she may be enabling because she doesn't want OP to suffer. She may think she's helping OP. He's got a therapist and he should listen.

Never mind. She got run over by a reindeer.

Is this you op?

OP is dating a dealer?!

You lucky cunt!

Dump him then give him my number!

Cocaine in the membrane

I never got what the big deal with cocaine was. It never took me there.

Coke is just the best drug. I am seriously envious of OP dating a dealer.

Nothing from OP for another few hours, but he'll be back with a vengeance

That's part of what makes it appealing to some people r110, it doesn't get you super fucked up, you are still very functional after doing coke.

OP's twitter account:

I knew a guy who was dating a meth dealer.

The drama was nut, but both were hot as fuck.

I did get to have one meth fueled 3-some with them once. The drug dealer was actually a total sweetie.

They broke up when my friend fell for a UPS driver. The meth dealer was absolutely devastated. Sadly, lost touch with him afterwards

I used to date a coke head. He was in his late 30s and had trouble maintaining a full erection. He was also an alcoholic though so that may have caused it.

I quit coke on my own. I was working in restaurants. One of the regular customers was a low-level seller. A bunch of my coworkers were buyers / users. The regular customer gave me and one of my coworkers free coke. And no, I wasn't fucking him (my coworker was, though).

Anyway, I decided to quit. It only took one night of being in a bar with these old friends to realize I had to say goodbye to everybody. Coke was the focus of everything (boring if you're not using). Multiple trips to the bathroom. Then, everybody ran out and there was an excruciating wait for the seller's (regular customer's) supplier to show up.

Why did I even want to quit if I was getting it for free? People's personalities started changing. I was seeing the worst of everybody. I had a high tolerance for the drug. Also, IIRC, I was close to or had just finished college and maybe it was just time for a change.

OP, why can't you just be satisfied with really, really, REALLY, really strong cups of coffee?

Or a sugar-free Monster drink?

Step 1: OP admitted she was powerless over yayo, and that it was making her sneeze.

25 hours of energy does it for me!

They made a television show about you people.

I lost my septum thanks to coke. Burned right through it after 3 years of daily use. So maybe try to stop before you get to that stage.

I knew a woman who’s nose collapsed due to cocaine or crack use. I found out months after I met her but I knew there was something wrong with her. It’s like hee bridge was too wide and flat. She almost looked king of lizard like. It was disgusting.

That's why you're supposed to put it up your butt after a certain point, like Stevie did.

your life is basically over

if you mix it with water and put it up your butt yeah but that does not really scale at the bar.

What's OP up to right now?

You know, OP never did explicitly identify as male.

I get no kick from cocaine.

[quote] My therapist told me to change my friends, they pretty much all do coke. Problem is, then I'll be alone.

OP, what is the bigger problem. Being alone, or being addicted to coke?

One one hand: The friends you'd be walking away from are not positive influences toward your life, health, and behaviors. "Alone" is also temporary, but likely also necessary for a period of time if you really want to devote yourself and concentrate on overcoming the addiction.

On the other hand: Coke addiction can escalate, as you probably already realize. It can lead to damaged relationships, job loss, deteriorating health, and even death. Coke is also increasingly laced with fentanyl these days, causing overdose deaths to spike.

So -- which of these two options is more appealing to you?

I'm still on coke but I did less today than I usually do. Also - I think my coke dealer boyfriend is cheating on me.

If he is cheating, maybe it's for the best. I'm slowing phasing all coke friends out of my life.

How much coke do you usually do a day?

OP just waking up from an unusually long 3 hour night sleep.

[QUOTE] I think my coke dealer boyfriend is cheating on me.

That's a much bigger problem than your cocaine use, OP.

Coke dealer boyfriend should be giving you a 100% discount, not a 40% discount.

My brother has had an on-and-off cocaine issue for years. It started when he was going to clubs and hanging out with shady people who happened to be dealers. He is still friends with many of these people, and while I don't think he's a regular/hardcore user, I know he still does it from time to time when he's with them in social settings. There is a major social component to it and I do think you have to extract yourself from your associations with the people you're using it with. I've never done any drugs (unless you count smoking pot here and there over the years), but I find it especially scary to be doing any hard drugs with the rise of fentanyl. You are playing with death, which is not something to be played with.

I always wondered how a schlubby looking guy I know always had stunning bfs.

he had a good coke connection

Former cokehead here. Used to do a gram at least per day in my early 20s, 2-3 eight balls per week. All my friends were using me for coke too. What scared me was a girl I hung out with said her boyfriend wanted to beat me up and take my stash. Shortly after that he was calling me asking me to come "hang out with the gang", but I never did. I went to college, changed my number so the loser friends couldnt contact me anymore and that was it.

[Quote]The guy I'm dating is involved in selling, which doesn't help. I pay for my drug but I get it at a 40% discount.

I laughed too hard at this. This guy is making money off you and using you for sex. Possibly cheating. What are you getting out of this? This isnt Colombian 80s stuff anymore. Mexicans are putting fentanyl in it. You might die. Boyfriend might go to jail. Youre losing in this situation here.

Best get out while you can OP. wishing you the best. Be strong and brave.

Is your boyfriend a hot cholo?

R140 Um...he's getting a discount on coke. That's a win for a cokehead.

R137 It's called making a PROFIT. Pretty sure his supplier wouldn't appreciate him giving his WHORE free coke all the time.

That sounds kinda hot, actually.

This has suddenly gone EST at R132

Bye insecure loser who can’t give up drugs because he’s afraid to not have loser friends. They’re not your friends (didn’t you watch any ABC Afternoon Specials in the 80s?) You’re going to overdose and they’ll leave anyhow.

This thread makes me wonder how many friends and colleagues used coke without my realizing it.

Also, reading about the relationships people have with dealers and friends who have access makes me wonder why more people don’t get in trouble. I was always afraid that if I made friends with a druggy they would ultimately try to manipulate me. Even in college, I sensed that partying with people wasn’t really friendship. You’re just “around” each other and being disinhibited.

I was always so afraid of getting caught, embarrassed, fired, arrested, etc. and BROKE! God I would hate that. I’d be so pissed at myself.

[QUOTE] I was always afraid that if I made friends with a druggy they would ultimately try to manipulate me.

Hate to break it to you R147 but some of the craziest, manipulative and/or toxic people I've met I've met in my life are non-partiers.

Which isn't to say that a drug user can't be all of those things too, but...

You can give up anything...you might need help. If they are good friends you might ask them if theyve ever thought of giving up...maybe they feel like u...ask them individually though. How come ur only on coke months; are these new friends..if so, ur obviously not a good match; for nights out anyways. Now, if u feel that by giving up u will lose the friends, pretend to still do it. I kno people who gave up alcohol, but it caused such a stir they now just take the glass of wine and hold it. People are getting drunk..they can't tell. But try give up..u might fail...but do try. Good luck.

How are you doing OP?

Don't give up! Keep reducing the amount. you should start looking for a new boyfriend.

Stop now before you go the way of Aaron Carter.

34 is too old to be scared youre going to lose a couple of "friends", who are only around because your boyfriend is a dealer, and who likely wouldnt piss on you if you were on fire. Or call 911 when the inevitable overdose happens.

Think about where you want to be at 40. Do you want to be with a guy who is dealing drugs? In jail? Or maybe an educated decent guy who has a career and is well past his party phase?

R147 At least in my experience, the friends who are aware they have a problem are protective of friends who don't do them, as weird as that sounds. They recognize the shit they're in and don't want people they care about to go down that road.

what r153 said.

As an active user, I didn't want to be around my non-user friends for the reasons you stated. Of course, my company wasn't wanted by them either when I was high.

And, even in the depths of demoralization, and hurting others and myself, I never was one of those active users who encouraged others to get high or attempted to contact somebody who wouldn't come around anymore.

I knew why they didn't, and I was glad for them.

R154 One of my best friends was a huge cokehead. I'm talking losing jobs, stealing checks, chilling in the gutter kinda shit. I was bored one night at a bar and was literally the only person in a10 foot radius not going to the bathroom every 10 minutes. I got bored and wanted to see what all the fuss was about so I asked for a bump and my friend was like..."FUCK no. Absolutedly not."

Someone once said "if you are doing too much coke, you have too much money". Do you have a lot of expendable cash, OP?

I can say from experience that that is not necessarily true, R156: I was poor, working retail.. but somehow there was always money for coke.

Agree with Dutchie. I'll happily go without food or treats knowing I have money for coke.

Is OP still addicted or is she clean now?

OP should probably avoid bathtubs until he gets himself straightened out.

I was a very casual user in the aughts and would just chip in. How much does a moderate cocaine habit cost per week? How many 8-balls did you do in a week, Dutchie?

4-5 months doesn’t seem that long.

Explain the appeal of Cocaine to me, please. All I know for comparison is the euphoric sensation of Marijuana. From what I've read in this thread, it only makes you feel wound up, falsely confident, and talkative to the point of being obnoxious. There is no buzz or high? Why bother? Also, would Cocaine exact all its purported effects on someone who is very naturally "laid back?"

Cokie Monsters current and former - speak out!

[quote] There is no buzz or high?

Who said there was no buzz and no high.

Cocaine can make drinking alcohol more fun. You can handle a lot more alcohol. It seems like you get a better alcohol "high" when on coke. You don't experience too much of the down sides of alcohol while on coke.

Coke is a fun party drug. Whoever you're doing coke with is your best friend for that night.

Coke without alcohol ... can perk you up, give you a head rush, make you feel better-able to handle people and situations.

I'm talking about the front-end effects of coke, not the coming down stuff.

Man, I had the best sex on cocaine. I miss it but I'll never go back to it.

Thanks for answering, R164. This young man has a very detailed description re cocaine addiction. Interesting.

Fortunately, I was young enough to be influenced by the Ringo Starr hit "The No No Song" to ever partake in substances of vice.

R161 At my worst I would order 2 to 3 little envelopes a week, that’s about 1 to 1,5 grams. At €50 a gram.

Before doing both cocaine and Molly, I figured that the stronger the euphoria the more the drug is fiendish/addictive. Now I realize it's BS, there is no correlation between euphoria and fiendishness.

The cocaine euphoria I would describe as moderate but from the moment you do your first line, you're like a machine driven by trying to use more cocaine. The MDMA/E/Molly euphoria I would describe as ranging from intense to very intense, from minute to minute, since you keep going up and down and up and down (hence the verb "rolling") but there is no fiendishness, you come down and you leave it and go to sleep. I guess that's the difference between serotonergic euphoria (Molly) and dopaminergic/adrenergic euphoria (cocaine, meth). I think doing coke was a dumb move on my part, because it is addictive, but I've never regretted taking MDMA. I feel like MDMA expand your horizon while coke narrows it and you feel kinda trapped.

That's Matt Anscher in the video @ R166.

R163 I’m an introvert and extremely self-conscious 24 hours a day. Just very conscious of my surroundings and very careful as to not make a fool of myself in public. I’m just not very social in a bar or club while I’m sober. Alcohol helps BUT after a couple of bumps, you can’t tell me NOTHING.

I made more friends in the two years I experimented with it than in my entire lifetime. If it wasn’t for the recovery time, I’d be in real trouble. I got tired of spending the next two days in bed.

I get no kick from champagne Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all So tell me why should it be true That I get a kick out of you … Some they may go for a cocaine I'm sure that if I took even one sniff It would bore me terrifically too Yet I get a kick out of you

Still addicted to cocaine but I'm not doing as much. Starting to believe I can give it up.

Habit. Addictions are imaginary and AA can fuck right off like the cult it is.

Some of the hottest guys that plowed me loved to snort lines. So hot.

YOU DUDETH ARE THE BIGGETHT COKE WHORETH UNDER THE HEAVENTH!!! **THNORT THNORT**

"Habit. Addictions are imaginary and AA can fuck right off like the cult it is."

Everything R174 says and more. The stone cold truth.

People who think addictions are imaginary have clearly never met an addict. There is a reason so many people struggle to get clean and keep relapsing.

[QUOTE] There is no buzz or high?

There is a euphoria. Everything in life seems "clear" at that moment. But it only lasts about 30 minutes and then you have to do more.

I've met plenty, R177. Me, me, me, me, me. My addiction this, my addiction that... me, me, me. ME! ME! ME! Goddammit!

How selfish can I be today and turn all the attention to MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Nothing better than the high, nothing worse than the crash. I have a crash moment, my birthday, rocking myself under a red lightbulb in a friend's foyer, wishing that I could go to sleep, tears tears tears, that I replay whenever I get the urge.

It has been so long, I wouldn't even know where to get any, lucky that.

Oh my God, you sound so narcissistic R180. Waste of good coke on self-indulgent types.

This will end in tears.

[quote]This will end in tears.

If it doesn't end in a bathtub.

[quote] I made more friends in the two years I experimented with it than in my entire lifetime.

Being drinking and drugging buddies is not real friendship.

R184 Appreciate the concern but that's not really my point.

[Quote]rocking myself under a red lightbulb in a friend's foyer..

Your friend has odd taste in décor.

I sympathize with you and your story wild wired red light rocker. Glad you cleaned up. OP, I hope you succeed in curbing your habit to an eventual stop altogether. Best of luck and resolve to you.

[Quote]Still addicted to cocaine but I'm not doing as much. Starting to believe I can give it up.

Of course you can stop. But then what? Its going to be insanely difficult to stay clean while youre dating a dealer and surrounded by supply all day and night. Plus your friends are doing it too. If you really want to stop you either need to dump the boyfriend & friends or they all need to be fully on board with you quitting.

Op I’m on day 3 sober. Join me in counting days if you want.

[quote]This will end in tears.

Don't get any in the coke.

OP, you need to be telling this to your physician or healthcare professional, not the DL cunts.

OP, what did your boyfriend say about it when you told him you wanted to stop? Can he agree to stop selling/giving it to you?

Keep on rockin me baby.

OP you didn't need a therapist to tell you your environment contributed to your failure to conquer your addiction. You knew that. Wanting to quit starts in your head. Saying it doesn't make it so. Stop allowing yourself to feel helpless. Because it afffects your perspective about everything. Your coke habit is a symptom. You have power you just need to exercise it. And you won't be alone if you walk away from your "friends." You may discover a whole new world out here.

OP is lazy. He doesn't want to do the work. This is on you, OP.

You know they cut cocaine with gasoline and all kinds of cancer causing shit?

OP is worried that he will never have amazing sex again when sober because you all tell him so.

I'm addicted to OP. So forthcoming about all the details of her life! It's refreshing.

How are you doing, OP? I have been thinking about you and, hope you're doing better.

I remember reading a quote from Courtney Love (of all people) once, where she said cocaine was like "really evil coffee." It's a slightly funny and very simple statement, but I do think it is very succinct in its truth. Like coffee, cocaine can very easily become a regular habit, except it's far more nefarious and a hell of a lot more dangerous.

OP, you need to be saying this to a counselor or physician so that you can get help, not saying it to a bunch of folks you don't know and can't do anything about it.

Its an intoxicating and poisonous substance. Courtney Love, is so right and she would know. For me, getting off of it was almost like cutting off my oxygen. It can be done though. OP, does need a Doctor though and I hope he does.

hey OP. I hope you're still reading this thread. we're all rooting for ya! You can kick this and improve your life! good luck! start today! you will fuck up many times but keep fighting!

I never experienced what I would call a high on cocaine.

Merry Christmas OP, I hope you're doing good.

^assuming OP is a Christian and celebrates it, too.

^^R15

OP is out playing in that Xmas snow.

I probably should have said Happy Holidays. -R205

Cocaine is a bitch.

Whoy not joost do whipits and poppahs instead, bro? It’s quality, ya get me, espeshullay when yow get fucked🤤

Why are you afraid of being alone?

Don't worry, you'll never be alone:

FFS, your dad is The President of The United States. Show some respect. Put the pipe down dude.

Coke really is IT!

I wish Courtney Love would get a podcast. I find her prattling FASCINATING.

I have never done coke, can you decide what would happen once I took?

What's the appeal

[QUOTE] I have never done coke, can you decide what would happen once I took?

No but we can see you hit the bottle.

Coke is SO easy to get off of compared to opiates. Not even in the same ballpark.

r219 very true. I was addicted. It ruined my life. I quit it cold turkey.

You can be addicted to cocaine about as much as you can be addicted to weed.

Cocaine is lame

OP, what kind of cocaine? Powder or crack?

R219 Easier to get than bud IMO.

I found coke very easy to quit - the comedowns are so brutal and unpleasant for me that I just never wanted to do it again after a while.

OP, again I ask powder cocaine or crack? There is a huge difference pharmacologically.

[quote]I'm Addicted to Cocaine

I was addicted to powerful sedatives and sleeping pills for 30 years - and I gave them up in one episode.

Suck it up, buttercup.

It's a great thing to be addicted to OP!

I found out my dealer bf was cheating; realized he had been using me all along. He dumped me, probably because of my coke habit, which is ironic. I've since realized it's what's best.

Blew through much of my savings. I also started noticing that the cocaine was impacting my work performance. I realized every person I socialize with uses coke too. Certain people started noticing.

I slowed down then it getting bad again, due to the stress of a toxic relationship.

It's been 24 hours since I did any and I'm determined to beat this. Luckily there are no physical withdrawal symptoms, only psychological. I'm in a new city for work which is making it easier.

Not enough attention the first time around?

I never understood how people can do cocaine. I freak out just using nasal sprays and neti pots when congested. Snorting a powder substance and then having to deal with that bitter drip taste in the back of your throat from the residual? I imagine it burns probably worse than Afrin severe which has menthol in it for some Satanic reason.

smokin' on the dock of the bay,

gettin' high

Are your teeth getting loose yet?

R104 is wrong. Cocaine does not permanently change the brain. Read the article at the link, starting with the fifth paragraph, for details. I was once addicted to cocaine but quit cold turkey. That was over 40 years ago. You can do it, OP. It's not easy, and you won't enjoy your life for a while, but you'll be OK.

Don’t overthink it. If you want to quit, you’ll quit. If you don’t, you’ll keep snorting drugs. It’s not terribly complicated.

Either way you’ll be doing what you want, so just accept yourself and be happy.

Something that really stuck out to me was what daddy Sanjay Gupta said on CNN during Tapper's show:

"The days of drug experimentation are over"

Because there's so much Fentanyl on the streets, you just don't know what you're getting. Now, despite taking into account that the segment is sensationalized, that quote is STILL pretty fucking SCURRY. Plus the constant news reports on people getting busted for smuggling tons of pills.

Let's just say that I'm EXTREMELY grateful THAT part of my life is OVER.