Let's be a Sorority House at a Southern college

I am shrill voices.

I am the carcinogenic fug of hairspray.

I'm the shared dream of a fairy tale wedding!

I'm the fact that we have all sworn a holy oath of purity to keep our ladyplaces pure for our husbands.

I'm the related fact that after Homecoming Game we all shit cum for a week.

I'm Babs Jensen, I'm the evil Sorority Sister from Animal House. I went on to to do great thing for the Republican Party

^ Ha! I'm the sister who gave John Belushi a huge woody...

I'm a cute little pep talk e-mail about how we should respect our frat alliance! Giggle!

I’m the tube of Anal-Eze.

Our pussies stink!

I'm the "dancing" at parties. To replicate me, get a whole chicken from the grocery store and push it around a bit with a stick.

I'm Gloria Upson and I squashed a ping pong ball... To bits

I'm the up-speak! And vocal fry! I make my speaker sound 'special'

I'm non-binary

I’m the silver pattern, every sorority girl has picked out by at least age 2. Extra points if it’s the same pattern as your mother/grandmother/great grandmother.

On campus our nickname is "House of THOTS."

I’ll be the evil prank that we play on the less fortunate girl She will never recover. But to us it will be a funny story for the next beach reunion trip.

I'm the collection box for the next abortion.

Our chapter animal is the frog. We use a frog image everywhere in our chapter.

But some of the frats with the hottest guys call us the "Prostitoads."

I'm smoothies, yoga mats, abusive visiting boyfriends, the drunk one throwing up in the bathroom, the one holding her hair and the cleaning lady who is the only person keeping this place from turning into a total shithole.

I'm the sweet as pie, dripping with honey southern charm BS.....then bring out the sharp claws, back stabbing viciousness of fake southern women. They'all are good xitian girls, after all...going to church every Sunday. Praise Geezus and trump.

I'm the degree in communications, aka the pretty girl major.

I'm here to get my MRS degree

I'm the Eldergays who have never been near a college, let alone a Southern one, let alone a sorority house.

But we will post our thoughts on here based on the Blanche character from Golden Girls and similar tropes that were last relevant in the mid-1980s.

Such is the way of Datalounge.

I'm the collection of guys' sweatshirts that grows with each walk of shame.

I'm "Y'all". I'm actually not much present unless a yankee girl shows up. Then I'm pretty much oxygen.

I'm the shameful "Frat Porn" video Cassie was in at at the keg party. She sucked at least 8 Frat guys and let them do shots of her boobs!

I'm the Bible Study in-house class promoted by the girl with the biggest hair. The only one to show up is the girl with glasses, which prompts Big Hair to abandon the project immediately.

Hahaha... for real R23.

R7, That was hilarious. Although, if the gals really did suck (and swallowed!), I think they'd be extremely popular.

R23, Oh, sweetie, hits a little too close to home?

I'm the less attractive slutty member of the house that doesn't care about purity and runs trains for all the hot frat guys the others tease and leave horny and desperate. Curing blue balls is my specialty.

Actually, r29. I'd say r23 hit the bullseye.

And that's obviously a little too close to home for you.

We're the "girls" of Omega Mu. What's a "dog house"?

I'm the little red convertible that sorority member, Betsy Sue, drives around campus. I was a 'gift' from a professor on campus after Betsy Sue put-out and then blackmailed the professor.

I'm r23, I'm just here to give everybody a hard time, because I hate fun and y'all seem to be having some

Stop having fun, I mean it 😠

I’m the incest that was survived and repressed. We worship Daddy and any other alpha males. We love the patriarchy, because we learned early that we can control everything from behind the scenes with our cooters with no accountability for the outcomes. Your pussy is a small price to pay. We’ll marry a man just like Daddy and he’ll be the best Daddy ever! He’ll take good care of the daughter(s) we have. Late night visits that smell like whiskey build character!

Oh and don’t let your kids around gays! They’re perverts and only good as accessories in your teens and early 20s.

I'm the VW Cabriolet the car of choice for sorority girls. They even got there own "special" name

^ *their* 🙄

I’m Jack Rogers sandals, preferably in gold, but in rain we wear Hunter wellies, tall version.

I'm the Communications degrees.

I'm the multiple boxes of Tampons and Pads in the Community Closet.

Betsy Sue? This is 2022 Grampa, no one calls their kid Betsy.

I am the ax murderer, realizing that terrorizing the men's swim team will be much more fun.

In the early 2000's a sorority at DePauw University in Greencastle, Indiana, was disbanded and banished from campus after it was learned that they would not admit overweight women and kept the dogs upstairs during rush week so potential members would only see the pretty ones.

The lovely former home of Delta Zeta is now a bunch of condos.....

It was ghastly.....it was just ghastly!

I'm the sweet friendly dark skinned Puerto Rican freshman with a thick accent and frizzy hair who is befriended by and joins the snooty sorority. By the start of her junior years the accent is almost unnoticeable, the hair is long and straight, and the sweet girl is as big a snobby bitch as any in the squad as they walk side by side together across campus in their bright matching Greek letter T-shirts and tight designer jeans.

(a true story)

I'm the hankering for fried okra and sweet tea.

We're the bottom-tier house. Nationals says they're yanking our charter at the end of the semester if we don't magically triple our membership. ☹️

This is frightfully accurate, R23.

We're Susie Hong, Marie Lopez, and Jazzy Abdul, proving that the sorority is diverse and moving with the times!

We're all blonde, too.

I'm the shaved twats hiding under lacy white panties.

I'm the mother of Chelsea. I made a post on Facebook asking for letters of recommendation for Chelsea from anyone connected with the top sororities at the University of Alabama. Roll Tide!

I am the lady fingers we make the tipsy sherry trifle with for dinner with the Kappa Alfa gentlemen

Yes, R50, rush at Bama and in the rest of the SEC is serious business.

I am the eating disorders and spray tans!

I'm the coed screaming slurs and raging because the desk clerk wouldn't let me in!

^Because, Missy, you had been out until all hours being a SLUT!!

I’m Adderall. I keep the gals thin and enraged.

I am the trans who is filing a lawsuit because they refuse to allow me to pledge just because I have a lady dick!!!

I’m the sister who will cunt punch you into next week if you keep being such awkward weird losers!

I'm the sharpie from circle the fat night. I'm almost dried up.

The President of Kappa Kappa Gamma at UGA, way back when, was exhorting the sisters during a chapter meeting to stop "staying out all night," with the cry, "YA'LL, Kappas are LADIES!!"

I’m Frederica Wislson, D-FL, fighting with Cheetolini and backed up by my Alpha Kappa Alpha sisters. A lot of white Americans are learning about black sororities and the divine nine and founders day and a lot of other fab shit.

I'm the synchronized menstrual cycles.

Ease-Zee Dee Zee...

They've never had strong chapters in the South - where sororities still reign

I'm the little brother. My big sister who tortured me for years has questions about a pledge who graduated high school with me. I tell her she's nice and funny and smart. 2 days later my sister calls me pissed that I didn't mention she's fat. She literally weighs 130lbs and is 5 foot 7. I don't understand it.

We're the dusty old alumnae who still hold sway over who gets into the good houses. We're the reason you see darling Ora Fern Faucher's fugly granddaughter wearing Kappa Delta letters and wonder, "How the hell did SHE get in?"

I'm the weird post graduate breeding program they all seem to be on. They all spawn kids within months of one another

I just wanted to make it snow!

Im the matching buttery yellow bleach jobs. Thanks Carolyn Bessette! Your wedding dress is still an inspiration!

I'm the Anal Bleaching coupons that are so popular on the Sorority bulletin board.

Our Standards Committee lectures our girls that "two of our three holes are available to boys from the "right" fraternities...but you may be surprised which holes we're offering"

I'm the Sorority girl with bad cell reception, who has to scream to her mother to make herself understood,

"No Mama, I'm NOT pregnant - the doctor says it's just an 'anal fissure'!"

They ALL have "bad cell reception." Haven't you ever heard the expression, "screaming like white ladies"?

Oh my GAAAAAAAAAHD we're AEPhi, DPhiE, and SDT. We all know each other from camp, just like you WASP betches know each other from places like Camp Waldemar and Camp Merrie Woode. We wanna snag a nice pre-med/pre-law major in Sammy or ZBT. The Old Row hoes from Tri Delt and Phi Mu complain when we bump into them and splash them with our drinks, but they can go fuck themselves.

I'm the sorority girl who has finally landed a date to the big college football game with a boy from the "right fraternity"...

I've got the perfect sundress, and I'm so excited to be sitting with him in the fraternity block seating at the stadium...

until I visit the ladies' restroom and discover I've had a big booger hanging from my nose during the first half of the game.

We're Alpha Phi, and we recruit solely based on looks. 0.9 GPA? No problem!

I'm the impassioned speeches during Rush Week:

"Y'all I have know this girl's family my ENTIRE life - and they are the BEST Christian people you will ever meet!"

"Now Her Mama sells the most amazing knock-off designer bags and accessories you have ever seen in your WHOLE life. And her daddy's a doctor who will give you any prescription you can dream of...Plan B pill - check; Adderall Extended Release - check; that Weight-loss drug for the new pledges - check, check."

"I rest my case, Sisters of Chi Omega."

I’m one of the girls who is a lesbian on the down low, but will later marry a fraternity guy, and have a couple of adorable kids. I’ll develop a drinking problem once the kids are in school, and long for the carefree days of snuggling with my sisters.

^ I was a Kappa Alpha

Just think, we could've gotten married to please everyone, and I could've made you an alcoholic...

At least two of my fraternity brothers told me that their girlfriends had confessed their lesbian experimentation to them...

One of the guys was troubled about it; the other thought it was hot.

R74 that video was, um, kinda fucked up. Those people are a nightmare--I can't imagine anyone wanting to spend any time with them.

R74, God fucking damn, please tell me that was satire. An entire house packed full of bottle blondes who won't stop squealing with laughter?

I spotted a couple of brunettes in R74's video, but none of them had closeups.

I'm this recruitment video

Imagine being a sexually confused 20 year old raised in a liberal majority-minority neighborhood that was woke before woke and being exposed to this. I never saw White Chicks but I didn’t need too.

A actual convo during rush (recruitment) in the early 2000's.... Scene- A huge Southern chapter room, around 1am the third night of rush. All the girls are exhausted and pissed knowing that there's another 200 girls to vote on. Each girls photo and bio is flashed on a pull down projector screen. A brief statement is made by the girls that rushed her. Voting begins- a green card for yes, red for no.

Red card- "She looks like a hippy". Green card- "Did you see her shoes? Miu Miu. RICH HIPPY".

Money is also important so they can afford the dues and can attend events.

I'm Letty Cockburn, legacy member of the Rush Week Committee, in charge of candidate shoe evaluation during the Rush Japanese tea ceremony. Shoe evals are the reason there is a tea ceremony.

I'm bumping this because I'm so disturbed by the videos at R74 and R82. Hold me Brenda!

^ I'm the big P.E. major dyke who cuts through all the chatter:

"Look do you really want to be brushing your teeth next to this girl?"

"We all know she'll be happier down the street."

We're the cunty tactics used by the top-drawer houses to troll the rushees they have no interest in:

• Hold a "dance party" during Open House round where the actives just chant, cheer, and clap instead of actually talking to anyone—they put together most of their bid list over the summer with the help of the old biddies at R65, so there's no need for lame chitchat. (Meanwhile, the rushees who [italic]are[/italic] wanted get spirited to another room so they can talk about shit like Golden Goose shoes and which deb ball they'll be coming out at.)

• Just stare blankly at the rushee until she's bumped to the next active, or simply walk away mid-conversation.

• Place the rushee in front of a floor fan that blows her hair around and leaves disheveled for her next house visit.

• Speak to the rushee in gibberish, then laugh at her for being "awkward" when she tries to respond.

• Just tell the rushee, "Sweetie, do yourself a favor and rank us last, because you're not coming back."

^ A friend of mine's daughter did rush at UGA a few years ago and had loads of similar things to say about the whole thing. She said it was surprisingly spiteful and unbelievably stupid. She walked away from it before it was over with.

What's a rush?

^ Honey, we would explain it to you...

But we think you'd be better off asking someone down the street, where you have a chance of getting a bid

What's the benefit of being in a sorority or Fraternity? Do it help you once you graduate?

Yes, it do.

R93 how?

r74 not a minority among them. Nothing ever changes.

R94: In the South, at least, those sorority "ladies" are from the wealthiest families around (for the most part). The connections made by associating with that group for the formative years of one's college education are *invaluable* for the rest of your life. Because it's not what you know, but WHO you know, that matters...-R93

^And this is further amplified by the fact that not only are you hanging out with your own sorority sisters (or fraternity bros, if male), but these various sororities and fraternities are socializing almost exclusively with each other for that 4-year period, so one is hobnobbing with the richest and most exclusive cast of youngsters in the state, for one's whole young adulthood...

It's a way of signifying that you're "one of us." In Birmingham, for example, members of the Old Row sororities at UA go on to be presented at the same cluster of debutante balls (Ball of Roses, Beaux Arts Krewe Ball, Heritage Ball, Redstone Ball) and join the same cultural orgs and recreational/hobbyist clubs after they graduate (Ballet Guild of Birmingham, Little Garden Club).

Girls in the so-called New Row houses have their own groups (ex: the Poinsettia Ball, the Ballet Women's Committee, Vestavia Hills Garden Club), founded because the others didn't take "tacky new money."

Junior League, on the other hand, isn't a big deal anymore when it comes to exclusivity.

I'm the revenge sex Marci has with the Sorority Queen Bee's boyfriend in retaliation for denying her entry to the Cappa Cappa Gams

These are the same white women who will always vote Republican. Uniformity, entitlement, superiority and insular thought is built into their psyche since birth and reinforced every day. They know they will be protected from the consequences of their choices as long as they play along. The genesis of the “us and them” mentality. Makes me sick.

I'm Charlene trying to get my hands on a morning-after pill

I vote against abortion because it's murder

Well of course we all vote for pro-life candidates here at Delta, all those sluts who want abortions need to learn personal responsibility!

Of course if one of us has a, you know, a uterine polyp [air quote fingers] that needs taking out, Doctor Myra on Maple St. will bill it to our insurances as a diagnostic exam. That's different.