Let's be Downton Abbey

I'm sour-faced Lady Mary

I’m poor Mr Pamuk’s stiff dick.

I'm some sweet, sweet chaffeur derogation.

[quote]I'm Carson, who truth be told, had a huge dick the whole time.

*chauffeur* derogation. -r3

I'm Maggie Smith and I HATE Downton Abbey.

I can't even go to the fucking grocery without Americans recognizing me.

I'm Anna, starring in Downer Abbey.

I'm Maggie Smith's heirs and we LOVE Downton Abbey.

I'm Mrs. Hughes's observation, repeated in the first episode of every season after the first and every movie, that change has come even to Downton Abbey!

I'm Rose sighing in almost every other episode since she first appears that it's about time something FUN happened around here!

I'm Edith's Appalachian looking bastard love child.

I'm Samantha Bond's dart-blowing line delivery. I'm especially fond of seems to have blottedhercopybook.

I'm Rose, as well. I'm the Cousin Oliver of Downton Abbey.

I'm also the jail / prison set. You never know when you'll need to film in me. Anna or Mr. Bates have "served some time" here, but you never know who's next.

All things considered, R13, it's just as like to be Bates or Anna again.

I'm Mr. Bates.

I can't carry a tray or luggage but I can lift a 200 lb. paralyzed Matthew Crawley out of his wheelchair and put him into his bed.

I'm Lavinia Swire's father Reginald.

I am a solicitor who was broke and in debt to Sir Richard Carlisle. My daughter Lavinia had to steal papers from her uncle in order for Richard Carlisle to forgive my debt. Yet just a few years later when I died I left Matthew Crawley a boat load of money that was enough to save Downton Abbey.

Hmmm.

I’m O’Brien the vanishing fag hag.

I'm the hot fucking Lady Mary would have received from poor Mr. Pamuk had he not died.

I’m Mary’s worsening haircuts.

I think Pamuk did take Lady Mary's anal virginity. He died while in mid-pump.

I’m Allen Leech’s ass

R16, I'm Julian Fellowes and... you know... details are so tedious.

I’m the attic bedrooms. This is where the real action takes place.

I’m the bar of soap Cora slipped on.

I'm the stench of dick cheese. Servants only bathed once a week.

We are not amused . . .

I'm OP. I'm posting from 2010.

I'm Isis, the innocent yellow Labrador Retriever who could not possibly have had any idea what her name might signify in the 21st century.

I'm Spratt.

I'm the original shopbottom and nellie prisspot, and I stand as a role model and mentor to thousands with my tsk tsks and my prisspottery.

I'm Jimmy's fat, fleshy manhood.

Jimmy may deny it, but I wanted to see the back of Barrow, so I could bend him over and bugger that sweet hairy hole.

I’m Lady Edith, the Jan Brady of Downton Abbey.

R2- That scene where we see poor Mr. Pamuk laying on the bed- the look on his face was that of someone who got the surprise of his life getting FUCKED UP THE ASS.

R29- He's a TOTAL datalounger.

How does one know that Barrow’s “hole” was hairy?

I’m the swivel chair and don’t receive nearly the credit I should for making this moment possible.

R33 Yes, he is!

Spratt typed the first "Oh, dear."

I'm also the swivel chair, longing for Matthew's ass on me at all times.

I’m the Dower House so often mentioned on DL Downton threads.

"Let's be Downton Abbey"

Please don't.

R38- EVERY time they showed the Dower House you heard the ominous sound of a Crow.

I'm the Gutenberg Bible. I'm mentioned more than once, but where the fuck am I?

I’m the heir who went down on the Titanic.

I'm the servants' complete adoration of the Crawley family and their enormous joy in attending to their needs and whims.

I am a FANTASY of an upper-class twit like Julian, Lord Fellowes.

Truth be told, some of us have reservations about Lady Edith.

I must investigate the contents of Bertie's pants.

i daydrink on sundays and watch a 4 episode marathon on pbs.

R43- Mrs. Hughes NEVER worshipped the Crawley family.

I'm the golden doggie in the opening credits. Don't I have a glorious butthole?

[quote]I'm Mr. Bates. I can't carry a tray or luggage but I can lift a 200 lb. paralyzed Matthew Crawley out of his wheelchair and put him into his bed.

But I am NOT wiping his ass.

Get the gay to do that shit.

[quote]Don't I have a glorious butthole?

Pics please.

I'm John Bates, perhaps one of the ugliest men to ever grace God's green earth, and yet somehow I've taken two wives and had panties soaking wet on two continents.

I am proof that love is blind, and so is justice.

I’m dinner.

Not once, not even during wartime, will I be a casual affair. Full attire for everyone: Gowns for the ladies, tuxedos for the gents.

[quote]I'm Carson, who truth be told, had a huge dick the whole time.

Damn right.

I’m Rosamund accompanying an abortion-seeking Edith to “a place where things like that are done.”

Edith definitely blottedhercopybook.

I’m the same expression on Isobel’s face whenever she’s attempting to suppress or hide a fart.

I'm Miss Sarah Bunting.

I am an impertinent dinner guest.

I'm Mr. Pamuk's beautiful, long, elegantly enormous cock.

A shame that my last romp in the hay was with the queen of vagina dentata herself, Lady Mary Scowley. Better that Barrow should have shined my tallywacker.

I’m the token black jazz musician. In real life, the Crawleys would have set my house on fire just for saying hello to Rose.

I'm O'Brien. You did hear me muttering fuck off.

I'm the infuriating cop-out of season four opening six months after Matthew's death, therefore entirely skipping the immediate reaction to his death.

I'm Mrs. Patmore's cataract.

I often made her miss her chamber pot during the night.

I’m Edith. I write a letter about Mary’s affair with Mr Pamuk and ruin her chances with Matthew when it gets publicized. I try to seduce the farmer-tenant despite his marriage. Desperate to marry, I become engaged to an old coot who leaves me at the altar. Then I’m offered a magazine column based on a letter to the editor I wrote because I have youthful ideas or something. When I have an affair with the publisher (also married) and get pregnant, I go on a Grand Tour as a subterfuge for hiding it. Have the baby and leave it behind in Switzerland. Change my mind and arrange to have the baby adopted by the tenant farmer whose wife can’t have kids. Change my mind again and take the baby for myself, nearly driving the wife to suicide and causing Daddy to lose a good tenant. Meet a presentable guy but lie to him about baby. Found out, I get the forgiveness my sister did not get for merely wanting a bit of sex.

And viewers say Mary’s the bitch.

[quote] I often made her miss her chamber pot during the night.

I am Mrs. Patmore’s apparent cock.

Also, as Edith, I'm never happy. In the first movie she was moaning about lunch for a bunch of people she didn't know... she fucking got it all and it's still never enough.

I'm the casual observer, wondering how the homely Crawley daughter with a face like a cat's puckered asshole got all the good cock.

I'm Gwen.

I can't even receive a fucking piece of mail without these vultures all swirling around. And don't get me started on them going through my personal effects and demanding to know what I bought with my own money.

I am so out of here.

They bathed once a week as well as having a strip wash (using a basin of water and cloth) every day, R25. That's still soap and water on the skin every day. They actually weren't as disgusting as you think.

I'm older Gwen.

When Mary and Barrow try to unleash their cunting ways on me, I shut that shit down, fast.

I’m the mystery prophylactic Anna purchased.

I'm Edna Braithwaite.

Mrs. Hughes threatened to call Dr. Clarkson and have him strap me down and take a look at my lady garden to confirm I was pregnant.

I hightailed it out of there double quick.

I’m the soldier convalescent home inside Downton. My walls have seen everything from furtive handjobs to balls-out rogering.

Well, if Bertie is a chore, I'll be happy to get him off.....of her hands.

R50

Wuff!

Oh Crap

I'm Wobert.

When I wasn't angry with the chauffeur turned son-in-law, I rather fancied poking his round mounds.

I’m Lady Sybil. And Edith thinks SHE had it bad!

Hey, if you get preggo in Downton Abbey, somebody’s either gonna die or go to jail.

I'm theft, murder, and the 800 different crimes Mr. Bates was accused of

Why was Mr. Bates never jailed for hideousness?

I demand justice!

I’m Bates’ iron foot, that apparently prevents him from doing anything useful beyond slipping Robert’s various jackets onto him, yet doesn’t prevent him from staying employed.

I’m Mary’s active bitch face.

I’m the hats.

I come in many different shapes and colours, but all my variations have one thing in common: One doesn’t simply remove their head.

For that, one has to retire to private quarters and rely on the steady hands of an underling.

Head=hat

I'm all the weight Thomas gained between season 1 and 2, when it became apparent he was never going to get laid on this show.

I'm Daisy.

I live to annoy everyone within earshot.

I'm Marigold.

I won't be getting by on my looks so It's a good thing my bio dad left me a magazine and a great London flat and my step daddy is rich.

R66 I'm Lady Mary's cat asshole face, clenching enthusiastically around Britain's primogeniture laws. Bitches.

I’m the breakfast in bed for married ladies. Single bitches eat at the table for some reason.

We're Larry and Timothy Grey ; sons of Lord Merton. We're as good looking as we're arseholes.

Isis, here (pre cancer). My table scraps are first class. Cora is a love, but Robert love me best. Whenever I get gassy, the hand fans come out.

I'm the five understair maids who ALL look the same as each other.

I'm the talented costume designers who worked tirelessly to recreate the eras best fashions. It's all about the hats. There, I said it.

That shits so ovah, OP. We might as well be petticoat junction.

[quote] One doesn’t simply remove their head.

Speak for yourself!

I'm currently binge watching the show. I absolutely love it. I only wish I had an elaborate fascinator w/hair pin to wear and some spiked tea.

I'm the furnishings that Aaron Schock tried to replicate in his office, spending thousands in taxpayer dollars to do so.

I'm the front door, wyvern shaped, boot-scrapers. I've tripped far more soles than scraped them-lol.

I'm Lady Cora's sweet, kindly, crinkly, coy, pouting expressions and her bizarre bicontinental mashup accent and out-of-left-field inflections.

Elizabeth McGovern as Lady Cora.

Did they strap down her boobies. All the ladies, with the exception of Countess Violet, looked flat chested.

R 88 I wonder if that is because a married woman may have been required to stay up fucking her husband and if she was in need to lay around all morning on any given day to let her swollen quim quiet down, so be it.

I'm those oddly-shaped boot-scrapers @ R97.

Surely, a boot-scraper with a flat blade would be more useful to scrape the horse dung from my shoes.

I'm Robert Crawley's ulcer that burst at the dinner table.

OMG, I just watched that episode. Blood everywhere, including the prime minister's livery.