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Charlie’s Angels: Angel on the line (Margo episode)

You know you want this….Enjoy!

Frankie (Hotline Club host): Hey, good evening, folks. It is now showtime!

So stay off your fucking phones!

Now, direct from Branson where she was billed as “hypnotist tranny”

Margo!

[AUDIENCE BOOS]

Margo: Thank you, Frankie, you hot son of a bitch you!

My, what a shitty looking audience you are.

Such hate and vitriol!

You Americans are a bunch of haters!!

I'm sure this will be a shitty experience but I was paid to entertain tonight.

I promise I'm not here to fondle anyone.

I want to have some fun! So relax and allow me to hypnotize you!

[AUDIENCE IS SILENT]

All right, I'm going to need some volunteers.

One or two fuckers.

Let's see. I think I want a man!

[pulling on Harry Stark’s arm]

Oh, come on.

Harry Stark: No!

Margo: I hate to see a man with no bulge in his pants but you’ll have to do.

Let's give our dickless friend a big hand.

What's your name?

Harry Stark: Stark

Margo: Oh, come on asshole! Loosen up for Christs sake!

Is that your first name?

Harry Stark: Harry

Margo: Hairy? Hairy Stark! Lol What a dumbass name!

Now, you sit right-over there, Hairy, and I will find you a pretty partner.

A man or a woman for Hairy. Hairy Stark. I think I found one right here.

What's your name?

Kelly Garrett: None of your fuckin’ business! I’m not interested in this stupid shit so FUCK OFF!

Margo: Dear, dear me. Another asshole I see.

Well, I know what to do with those…

Come on,

Kelly: I can't, cunt!

Margo: Can't! Can't simply isn't part of my vocabulary though cunt sure is! Lol

Come on, folks! Let's give the lady a little encouragement! Clap your hooves together!

Just plant your pretty ass next to Hairy ass! Lol!

Now, then who's next?

A woman in the audience: Oh, I don't think I want to. I'm afraid you’ll try to finger my pussy.

Margo:: alright, fuck you then.

Harry Stark: Why were you staring at me?

Kelly: What the fuck! Are you talking to me?

Harry: Yes, bitch, you!

I don't like people eye-screwing me.

Kelly: too fuckin’ bad. You trying to hide something?

Harry: What?

Kelly: If you’ve got something to hide that tranny is gonna hypnotize and embarrass the fuck outta you! Lol!

Harry: Who the fuck are you?

Kelly: Just a bitch in a bar.

Harry: You ask the most stupid questions!

Kelly: Just a habit. I’m very uneducated as you can tell.

Harry: Well, you'd better break the habit, you stupid bitch.

Otherwise, you might get raped.

Kelly: ooh. Turn me on!

Margo: Hairy! where are you going?

Hairy crack come back! We won't rape you!

Off to the bathhouse, I suppose.

Well, we've lost our sourass.

And where the fuck are you off to?

Kelly: I seem to have lost my trick.

So I'm gonna take a rain check.

Margo: Oh, well, fuck right off.

Let's throw trash at the pretty lady!

[AUDIENCE THROWS TRASH]

by Anonymousreply 16July 15, 2024 3:07 PM

Kelly is in bed when the phone rings]

Margo (disguising her voice like a man): thought I'd call to find out what the fuck you’re doing.

Kelly: How in the fuck did you get my number?

Margo: Duh, magic.

Kelly: You're never gonna get the chance to rape me!

You know that, don't you?

Margo: All I know is that you're a very stupid and pretty.

And I'm going to rape your ass.

Kelly: Oh really? Tell me more. Why don’t you come on over? Why this stupid phone sex shit?

Margo: Because it’s fun, bitch.

We'll talk again tomorrow after I pop a Viagra. Sleep juicy.

Kelly: No, don't hang up. Please don't! I haven’t even cum!

[LINE CLICKS]

Kelly: well son of a fucking bitch!

[KELLY FINGER FUCKS HERSELF TO SLEEP]

by Anonymousreply 1October 21, 2022 10:25 PM

What the fuck are you on?

by Anonymousreply 2October 21, 2022 10:32 PM

[Later on atThe Hotline Club]

Margo: Well, how the hell are you?

Kelly: Hi, bitch.

Margo: What a surprise! What in the fuck are you doing here?

Kelly: Relax! The bartender said your ass was coming in to pick up some costumes and I wanted to ask you some nosy questions. Lol.

Margo: Cleaning day. My costumes stink to high heaven! Lol. You look worried.

Kelly: Listen, did you talk to some weird-ass dude named Ford about me?

Margo: Ford?

Kelly: Yes, Edward fucking Ford.

Margo: Doesn't ring a bell.

Kelly: You mean you didn’t give him my phone number and tell him that I’m a horny bitch with no life?

Margo: Shit, I would never tell anyone that.

Margo: Did you get off on the phone?

Kelly: Nope. I want to know why you’re giving out my phone number?

Margo: I told you I didn’t!

Kelly: yeah right.

Margo: Why are you so fucking paranoid?

Kelly: Oh I’m not. I just know you trannies have loose lips.

Margo: Well, my snatch is nice n tight.

Kelly: You don’t have a pussy!

Margo: wah wah wah….

Kelly: We’ll, bitch, I’m gonna go ask some other people if they’re givin out my number.

Margo: Wait! There was some fucker asking about you and asked me for your phone number last night.

Said his name was...

Kelly: Fucker? Paul Fucker?

Margo: That's it. Why?

Kelly: Well, that's the name of some asshole I rejected years ago who drove a piece of shit orange Pinto.

Margo: Not the Pinto that’s outside now?

Kelly: Outside? I did...I didn't see a piece of shit Pinto when I came in.

Margo: It was backfiring in the parking lot When came in the stage entrance.

Kelly: Fuck! would you take me to the stage entrance?

Margo: God yes!

Kelly: Did you see the dri...?? Margo!!!!

[SCREAMS]

Margo: [GRUNTS]

Kelly: [SCREAMS]

Margo: [GRUNTING]

Kelly: [SCREAMS]

Margo: [PANTING]

Kris Munroe: Hold it!

[Margo runs but slips and falls flat on her ass in a mud puddle causing her blond wig to fly off]

Margo: [WHIMPERING]

[WHIMPERING]

No, no.

Kelly: Oh, my God! I can’t fucking believe it!

Kris: Kelly, this is Paul Fucker in the orange Pinto.

Julie: Alias Margo.

Kelly: Alias Sabrina Duncan.

Kris: Are you okay?

Kelly: No I’m not fucking ok!

Sabrina, why in the hell are you dressing up in drag trying to freak my shit?

Sabrina: [sobbing]

Kelly: well??

Sabrina: [SOBBING]

Kelly: What a psycho! What a fucking psycho!

by Anonymousreply 3October 21, 2022 10:58 PM

Lick it up! 👅

by Anonymousreply 4October 21, 2022 11:39 PM

Now do one of Julie’s scenes, Tanya acts like she is flying high on coke in this episode.

by Anonymousreply 5October 22, 2022 12:02 AM

I love how Sabrina turned out to be Margo

by Anonymousreply 6October 22, 2022 12:09 AM

Lol

Kelly: You mean you didn’t give him my phone number and tell him that I’m a horny bitch with no life?

by Anonymousreply 7October 22, 2022 12:11 AM

After the shock wears off, Kelly is definitely falling into Bri's arms. They'll sob together until the tears turn to kisses.

Julie sits down to watch, Kris bites her fingernail but then sits down right next to Julie. She's thinking "Damn, I know why this bitch was a model. Those eyes are mesmerizing!"

Soon they are all a tangled mess of angelic limbs. If Bosley knew what was going on, he'd certainly dock their pay for getting busy on the clock and deny any reimbursement requests for torn and stained clothing.

by Anonymousreply 8October 22, 2022 3:35 AM

revised ending... Kelly: Did you see the dri...?? Margo!!!!

[SCREAMING]

[MARGO OPENS A SWITCH BLADE AND ATTACKS KELLY IN THE ALLEY]

Margo: [GRUNTS]

Kelly: [SCREAMS]

Margo: [GRUNTING]

[WRESTLING, CLAWING, KICKING, KELLY TRIES TO KEEP FROM BEING STABBED BY KILLER MARGO].

Kelly: [SCREAMS]

Margo: [PANTING]

Kris Munroe: [WEILDING A HANDGUN]

Hold it!

[Margo runs but slips and falls flat on her ass in a mud puddle causing her blond wig to fly off]

Margo: [WHIMPERING]

[WHIMPERING]

No, no!

Kelly: Oh, my God! I can’t fucking believe it!

Kris: Kelly, this is Paul Fucker in the orange Pinto.

Julie Rogers: Alias Margo.

Kelly: Alias Sabrina Duncan!!

Kris: Are you okay?

Kelly: No! I’m not fucking ok!

Sabrina, why in the hell are you trying to kill me, dressed like that?!!!

Sabrina: [sobbing]

Kelly: well??

Sabrina: [SOBBING]

I’m jealous of that new bitch, Julie Rogers!

Kelly: What a fuckin’ psycho bitch!

Julie: Ok, “Margbrina”. Get out of the mud. The police are on their way.

Kelly: Bos? Hold me. I’m scared.

by Anonymousreply 9October 22, 2022 1:23 PM

I’m gonna finger myself silly!!

by Anonymousreply 10October 22, 2022 4:36 PM

Season 5 opening titles….

[CHARLIE TALKING]

Once upon a time, there were three beautiful girls.

Two of them graduated from the police academy.

The other didn’t even graduate from elementary school.

And they each had shit jobs.

So I gave ‘em employment. Made ‘em my bitches.

My name is Charlie fucking Townsend!

Edward Ford: Hey, foxy lady! I’m Edward Ford!

Kelly: We’ll good for you. Do you want a fuckin’ prize or something?!

Edward: Hey, calm your ass down! Margo said I should talk to you.

Kelly: Margo who? I don’t know any fucking Margo.

Edward: Margo, the hypnotist tranny at the Hotline Club.

Kelly: Oh, that thing. Well, what the fuck do you want?

Edward: See, I’m unemployed but I thought we could have lunch together. I saw you at the Hotline Club last night and I said to myself “that bitch is gonna be my gf”.

Kelly: Ha! Dream on, tampon!

Edward: My my my! This is turning out to be very shitty. Margo says you’re a private investigator.

Kelly: Margo has loose lips. That stupid bitch.

Edward: Please buy me lunch. I’ve got the hots for you and I’m hungry as hell. Please?

Kelly: I’m sure I’ll regret this but…Ok.

Edward: Hot damn! Do you know a place?

Kelly: Itchy’s about 10 blocks down.

Edward: Itchy’s?! Yuk! Their food tastes like total shit!

Kelly: Fuck you! I like to eat there! It’s cheap and greasy, just like me. Lol It’s Itchy’s or nothing, asshole.

Edward: Ok… Can I ride with you?

Kelly: Are you fucking kidding me? You can follow me there in your own heap.

[AT ITCHY’S]

Waitress: Woo hoo! Kelly got herself an ugly man! Lol

Kelly: Fuck you, bitch! I’ll have the usual. The big n nasty burger. Make it two of em. And two small ice waters.

Waitress: Ok. Just don’t take forever to eat it. We close in 15 minutes.

Edward : So…How long have you been a private detective?

Kelly: How long have you been an unemployed, asshole?

Edward: Wow. You are such a bitch. I just asked how long you’ve been a shitty private detective and you try to snap my dick off.

Kelly: You’re preoccupied.

Edward: lol. With what?

Kelly: Shitty.

Edward: I am?

Kelly: Yes.

Edward: Ha! But you are shitty.

Kelly: There your ass goes again!

Edward: [Taking a deep breath] Well, maybe you’re hypersensitive.

Kelly: Oh, I am. See, fucktard, I’ve been getting prank phone calls from some jackoff who was preoccupied with shitty. So just cool it!

Waitress: Ok, here’s your food. Just eat fast so I can close up and get the fuck out of here.

by Anonymousreply 11October 23, 2022 8:31 PM

This last one is pretty good if I do say so my.

by Anonymousreply 12October 23, 2022 8:50 PM

Eat me!

by Anonymousreply 13October 23, 2022 11:57 PM

I love to read and laugh at shit like this especially since I made it up myself.

by Anonymousreply 14October 24, 2022 9:13 PM

I ate double my normal dose of weed chocolate,, put this episode on Amazon Prime and reread this thread. I’m laughing my ass off, life is gooood

by Anonymousreply 15March 5, 2023 5:02 AM

Bump. On a shitty day like today we need Margo.

by Anonymousreply 16July 15, 2024 3:07 PM
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