Bros is not funny

What’s Bros?

r1 = homophobe!

How DARE you!!!

2 hours of non-stop whingefest! OMG! I truly pity people who actually pay money to see this codswallop!

Wonk eyed Billy’s shills said this would be a gay classic.

Eichner is the ugliest cunt to ever cunt the earth. How could it be funny?

No intention of ever seeing it here. Never ever. Fuck that unfunny asshole Billy boy.

Oh great, another Billy Eichner bashing thread. You jealous hags are tedious and profoundly unoriginal. Get a life losers!

I HEART BROS!

Brehs, Billy Eichner’s jowls just flew over my house!

Bras are inherently funny on the other hand. As is brehs.

It was mildly funny in places, but to me it felt like a low-budget indie gay comedy like Mambo Italiano or Adam and Steve. I wouldn't have paid to watch it (I found it online and cast it to my TV). And seeing Luke MacFarlane hot for Billy Eichner just gave me all kinds of Dr. Lowenstein/"Oh Blossom, you're so beautiful" vibes.

OP is straight, and lives in certain parts of the country obviously. OP is disappointing.

It’s mildly funny! In places!

Allegedly!

Billy Achenerd couldn't steal Blake Funston's gaysian if his life depended on it. The only funny thing about this disaster is that he thinks he's believable as Luke Macwhatever's love interest.

Billy has Carbface for days!!!

I watched it on soap2day last night and don't recall having laughed. You mean it's a comedy?

I think Billy Eichner is hot. WHY are gays so ridiculously superficial?

r18 = Billy's mom

R19 Didn't see that one coming

I've seeded 200 gb of this movie on a ratio of 3.0. Most people at my torrent list were from outside the US. I assume people from all over the world that wouldn't have access or courage to pay to see it, are downloading it. Reading the comments section on rarbg is interesting and Billy should learn from it. His attitude played a huge role on why people didn't show up.

Billy is getting dunked on by piratical streamers?

This amuses me.

What do the comments say?

Yeah, let me tell you the secret to this film’s failure: it sucks.

There doesn’t seem to be one truthful, authentic scene in this movie.

R15 We know this had disaster written all over it when wonk eyed billy cast himself as lead and Luke as his leading bottom . Question is how no one else saw this coming?

I’ll never not think of the 80’s band when I see the word “Bros”. There was actually a documentary about Matt and Luke Goss, the two brothers, the other year. They’re batshit crazy with possible personality disorders and delusions of grandeur. It was a blast.

Do you think Billy Eichner and Luke MacFarlane are still together?

SCHITT'S CREEK = 19 emmy nominations, 9 wins, Billy. I think it was sold the world over.

Who did they ever think was going to see this movie?

Billy thought it would be a global blockbuster, make history, and he would finally knock Rock hudson's face off every magazine cover in America

The only funny line was a throwaway line about a “gender reveal orgy.”

Someone lied to wonk eyed Billy and told him he was funny and charismatic, who was that cunt?

I wouldn’t say it’s carb face, R16. He has the stretchy hangdog features of someone who lost over a hundred pounds late in life.

I haven't seen "Bros." I don't care how bad the movie is. I'll watch anything that features Luke MacFarlane. He might not be the best actor, but he doesn't need to be.

Bloody hell I'm watching the first 15 minutes and it's so fucking bad.

I didn't make it through the 1st hour. It's just all so fake. I can't believe somebody gave this the green light - to the tune of $22M plus whatever they spent on marketing (not the usual amount, I'm sure). The execs at Universal must've been watching this going, "WTF...?"

It should've just been called "Billy Eichner Has Some Things He Wants To Say." It wasn't really much of a story, just fake setups so he could sound off about his perceived wisdom about the gay community. Fire Island was much better than this - at least that had a story, believable characters, some warmth and some funny lines. (Though Billy's lines about being "...whatever happened to Evan Hanson" and "the gay Elphaba" did make me laugh.) But I mean, he hosts a podcast - what was that supposed to be? Was he supposed to be the gay Joe Rogan or something? How could he afford to live in that building? If you don't know who your characters are, you can't tell a story about them. Simple fact.

I’ll bet prior to this movie the only way anyone would’ve imagined Luke MacFarlane rimming Billy Eichner would’ve been more of a human centipede scenario.

OP, you've inspired me to torrent it now. I thought the previews looked funny, but there's been so much criticism on it here, I wonder if I was deceived. I am pretty open to liking/hating it. Will report back.

[quote]Someone lied to wonk eyed Billy and told him he was funny and charismatic, who was that cunt?

Deb Messing.

Let us know what you think, R39.

I could’ve done without the singing.

OP downloaded it from rarbg and then wasn't entertained?

I guess OP found out what "getting what you pay for" means.

I really wanted to love it. It's OK, but a bit disappointing. Billy's character isn't likable. Would have been much better film if his character was fun and not whiny--then would have made more sense why the hot boyfriend is into him.

The scenes with the museum staff were pretty funny. Debra Messing cameo was not.

I wish it was better.

Matt-fatso thread.

This Brit gay film is 999 times more impressive and poignant than BROS! And the guys are much hotter and sexier!

Mark (Alexander Lincoln), a new and inexperienced rugby club member, finds himself drawn to Warren (Alexander King), a seasoned first team player. When a series of happenstances at an away fixture lead to a drunken encounter, Mark and Warren unwittingly embark on a romantic affair they struggle to hide from their partners and teammates. As the secret begins to unravel, team spirit, loyalties and camaraderie are tested in writer-director Matt Carter’s startlingly sensitive story about forbidden love and finding your tribe.

Billy keeps trying to bill this as a 'romantic comedy', when actually it's more of a 'gross-out comedy' - in the same vein as American Pie, The Hangover and all those Judd Apatow films he lists off...

It's not exactly in the spirit of Sleepless in Seattle or even Pretty Woman.

I hate that gross-out style, which isn't just about the shock elements, but also routinely features contrived, juvenile stupidity; humiliation and insults; oafish shouting in lieu of wit; and - far from jollity - totally miserable main characters.

In fairness, you could say that all those other garbage films have been commercially successful, so why not the gay one?

But garbage is garbage.

An ACTUAL gay romantic comedy might still be successful... unfortunately Billy has made such a point of billing Bros as same that it'll be another decade before someone even attempts again... and by then Hollywood will be ten years more stupid and talentless.

Eichner thinks he's the patron saint of homosexuality. This was the most basic ass hetero rom com.

OP, then you are a blank dolt! And a troll for starting another one of these threads.

Saw it opening weekend in a mostly-packed Alamo Drafthouse full of other gays. It got a lot of laughs. I would imagine the experience was much different in an empty theater.

My major problem with it was its torpedoing of Hallmark movies when it’s basically one of them.

Also the singing. Jesus.

The thing about Billy Eichner and "Bros" is that he's at least certainly given Datalounge tons of fodder for entertaining ourselves.

i couldn't believe how "plus size" Harvey Fierstein was... he barely fit in the fuckin frame!

I always appreciate films made from the "inside" perspective of the large gay subcultures in major cities (I would consider "The Broken Hearts' Club," "Longtime Companion," and "Go Fish" to be among the films that would belong in this category), but they usually do better as independent films rather than studio films. Straight people feel alienated when they are mostly left out of gay films, which is why usually what gay films there are released by the major studios are about gay people interacting more positively with straight people, which is why comedies like "The Birdcage" or dramas like "Brokeback Mountain," where there's a real mix of gay and straight characters, do better box office. (This is why I think Daniel Levy's movie may actually do much better if it's any good.) Movies about subcultures are fascinating, but their box office appeal is always limited if they come across as too "insider" focused).

But R52, I don't think Bros was serving any community, other than Billy Eichner.

I mean, for a start, if the filmmaker's wanted Luke Macfarlane as the romantic lead then they should've cast somebody opposite him WHO COULD ACTUALLY PULL LUKE MACFARLANE. I mean, anyone who's spent any time in a gay bar knows Billy Eichner wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of doing so and certainly not by making a few sour, insulting quips to him. Please. The idea that Luke would be chasing after him for months, quit his job and his vocation...omg. I used to date an estate lawyer. You know what they like? ALL THE MONEY THEY MAKE THAT ALLOWS THEM TO PURSUE AN A-GAY LIFESTYLE. They might think they want to become an actor or a chocolatier but those types NEVER leave their big law firms because their ENTIRE IDENTITY is tied up in their annual income - because, believe me, while they're planning everybody else's estates they're mostly planning their own! Billy the writer could've started there with that kind of truthfulness. Like if Luke's character were a PT, maybe I could see him making such a switch - I mean, what about all of his long-term clients that he's promised he'd execute their estate plans for when the time comes...? Just didn't make any sense at all. No wonder we were left with a Billy Eichner concert by film's end. Total narcissistic lunacy. Judd Apatow has a lot to answer for.

"... it felt like a low-budget indie gay comedy like Mambo Italiano or Adam and Steve."

The $20+ million budget must have been Billy's salary.

"Saw it opening weekend in a mostly-packed Alamo Drafthouse full of other gays. It got a lot of laughs."

People laugh more when they're drunk.

I loved this. A proper rom-com that really ticks the boxes whilst being self-aware and funny. It has been a while since we had one this good.

Weird how someone would be hung up on how someone who looked and acted like Billy Eichner couldn't "pull" Luke McFarlane in real life, when a) this is a movie, b) a rom-com no less, and c) this was actually written into the story and dissected. I really don't like Eichner (looks or personality), but he gets a lot of things right with this movie and I appreciated it. Job well done. I wish it had done better with audiences.

[quote]The $20+ million budget must have been Billy's salary.

Why did this cost $22 million to make while Ticket to Paradise only cost $32 million? Is Billy commanding a higher salary than Julia Roberts and George Clooney combined?

Eichner is a delusional t-shirt man, just like that guy who is king of Ukraine.

22 million is pretty low for a movie, though considering it had such d-listers and wasn't filmed on location not sure why it wasn't more around 15-18 million. Main problem is spending 30-40 million trying to promote it (badly).

Though wouldn't doubt Billy got paid quite a bit for it for unknown reasons. I'm assuming someone in Hollywood thought he was about to be a huge breakout star when they signed him for all these movie deals. He has at least two other movies coming out in the future too, so enjoy that.

It's niche. The mainstream isn't going to watch a super gay movie about gays. I think the movie should've somehow been advertised to Fraus and the kind of gals who love to watch Sex & The City and Magic Mike movies. You know, straight women who are into guy on guy action (slash fiction, gay romance novels, etc.).

Gays alone can't make a movie successful and looking at Peacock's Queer As Folk, which got canceled after one season (personally I thought it was great), the Queer Community can't do it either.

As long "we" (Gay / LGBT / Queer Community) insist on using measurements of success which favor the mainstream, we will always fall short. I mean, can anybody see that any time soon a gay movie will outperform a Summer Blockbuster Superhero movie (or a straight rom-com, looking at Ticket To Paradise)? And you know that's the critics' and haters' expectation to consider anything gay related a success and then celebrating that the gay movie doesn't measure up to that expectation.

......

[quote]If it was a story about Billy Eichner dating a Black man or Latino man, I think he would not have been the guy to write that story, that’s all I can say. I think it would be very challenging for Billy to voice somebody that he doesn’t know,” he said.

Wow, so Luke just called out Billy as racist. He only deals with lily white. How could he possibly give voice to a white guy who, gasps, dates a Latino?!

Award for ugliest male lead in a major studio release.

Luke is handsome. Billy looks like a Shar-pei. Luke seems pretty self aware about the box office. Interesting comment about Billy not dating black or brown people... hm.

[quote] Interesting comment about Billy not dating black or brown people... hm.

Very telling.

Funny tho’; although Luke is a snack, in real life Billy’s the (taller) boss and would have Lukes on call 24/7.

Ryan M

Why would ANYONE date Billy? He’s repulsive.

I actually enjoyed the movie very much

I preferred B-Boy Blues.