What do you miss?

The world before social media.

God I miss brunch.

^ all the above are great!

Ann Sothern once said that if you were ever hot, you still have it. Keep that in mind, OP. You still have it.

I guess you have a point R4. I notice that about once beautiful women. They carry themselves differently. A poise. So I suppose that is probably true of men who are part their own too.

In my eyes most men get more attractive as they age.

The summers of my childhood, until around age 13.

Retro movie houses in glamorous world capitals and being young and healthy enough to smoke carefree in them.

A few minutes' warning before we take a crap.

I also miss my mom.

Not much at all, but thinking about it a bit, I'll venture one thing.

I sometimes miss having older friends. When I was a young man I was lucky to have lots of older men who were some of my first gay friends, apart from the men I fucked. Only with time did I develop friendships with gay men from roughly my own age group. The older men I knew had some professional connection or related shared interest and they were great company and well as a great education. I saw first hand how to live well if you had money, or if you didn't; how to be generous and interested in others; how to listen carefully and the value of remembering what others said; to value curiosity, travel, learning, new things, new places, new people and forward movement; to value one's time even, maybe especially, in leisure; to live in the present. They were not campy men on whole, there was little in the way of education about gay history or films or music I must now, no rules of the gay game. I appreciated how they made room for me as a new person in their respective circles, not because we had shared experience or identical views or perspectives, but because we were companionable in our agreements and disagreements, because we enjoyed each other's company. I always felt very lucky to have known these men. They left me, I think, a good sense of balance of patience and impatience, and an understanding that one must always work to stay a part of things lest we grow too apart from them.

Geography, time, and death have cleared out these friends. I feel lucky now to have much younger friends whose company I truly enjoy thanks in part to the lessons those older men exemplified with me. But more than other people in my life who have died or disappeared, it's this handful of men I sometimes miss because they were always a pleasure.

I miss accountability. No one seems to have any.

I miss being able to make plans with friends simply on the phone, before Google calendar, Outlook, or Apple calendar invites and coordinating drive times and meeting half way. (LA Area)

I miss being able to sleep in late on weekends. I have the time but my body seems to wake up at my normal time, regardless. Welcome to aging!

I miss the gay community, and I miss being able to discuss the pain and struggles of being gay without being screamed at and told I’m privileged because I’m “cis.”

I miss the safety, comfort, and sense of completeness of the family of my childhood.

R11, that was touching and well-written.

The 51 WWs Muriel removed from my count recently. Also, shopping for books and CDs.

My two dead friends. I was completely unprepared for them to ever die. I miss them all the time.

I miss people not being offended over everything.

[quote] Ann Sothern once said that if you were ever hot, you still have it. Keep that in mind, OP. You still have it.

Yes. Because being hot is a state of mind and has nothing to do with the way you look.

I was never beautiful but God I miss the skin of my 20’s. Stress and smoking has done me no favors.

I miss my first BF (kinda) and a dead pet or two, but that's about it. Onward!

[quote] I miss people not being offended over everything.

Oh, they were still offended then. It's just they couldn't broadcast their offense over social media and make other people jump to placate them when they said "I'm offended."

I miss sucking hustler cock while flying on blow.

Glory holes. Where did they all go?

A pre-pronoun world.

Liaisons.

I miss being able to sleep like a bear! I could sleep 10 to 12 hours straight without waking up. Now after 4-5 hours of sleep I have to go wee. Getting back to sleep is very difficult for me.

[quote] A pre-pronoun world.

Hieroglyphics?

I miss being able to look down and see my penis.

Life before cell phones!

Being a virgin-- (scratch that) -- Being a WHORE!

Good movies

I miss my brother terribly.

I miss my orange boy.

He was a bit high maintenance in life, but I’d love to hold him and smell him again.

Living in a frat house.

[quoe]Living in a frat house.

You're a tease.

I don’t care that much about being attractive. I just miss waking up in the morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed, feeling strong and clear headed for most of the day.

^and I'm a moron who can't use the quote function properly, apparently.

Intelligent conversation, reasoned debate, the exchange of ideas, sitting for a few hours over a good meal/glass of wine and participating in ranging discussions over a wide variety of topics. And the outcome, seeing something in a new way or learning something new. Those delightful moments are gone with the dumbing down of society via smartphones and social media.

I miss going into a store , theater, or public event and not having to think of situational awareness and have a plan if there is an active shooter

I miss thinking my sole mate is somewhere out here just waiting for us to connect .

I miss my friends from th e 70s and 80s

I miss feeling a modicum of respect when dealing with the public

I miss big downtown department stores

I miss "real" poppers

[quote]I miss "real" poppers

Can you explain what they used to be like compared to now? I've only done them once, about 3 years ago, and I went all hot, my head got all light and I liked it. Was doing it with a mate of mine and could've easily started snogging him due to the effects of it, despite not being particularly attracted to him (I only didn't because he has a boyfriend already). Felt wobbly on my legs a bit.

I've heard they used to be so much better, and I'm really curious.

I miss feeling like there is a new adventure around the corner. I miss not being worried about money, health, death and safety all of the time. …..I miss the thought that I will go to New York or Europe “Next Year.” …. I miss the certainty of traditions of knowing The Great Pumpkin will be on at Halloween and going to the mall as an event around Christmas. I miss laughing with friends - or frankly laughing period. I used to be pretty funny …

I miss the time before camera phones and social media. I feel all this technology has made people more paranoid and less spontaneous. You never know when you're being filmed. It's like the Truman show.

[quote]Those delightful moments are gone with the dumbing down of society via smartphones and social media.

It's a nice comment, R39, but I disagree.

Smartphones and social media didn't turn my friends and acquaintances into mindless selfie-obsessed goobers with nothing to say and no attention span. They are the same people, we have the same conversations.

As a side note, it's interesting to me that the youngest of these circles, people in their 20s who grew up with smartphones and social media are the least likely of the bunch to be spotted with a mobile in hand.

Of course those two factors have had huge influence, but they didn't kill "intelligent conversation, reasoned debate, the exchange of ideas, sitting for a few hours over a good meal/glass of wine and participating in ranging discussions...".

These things were always rare enough to be valued and worth the time to find them. It wasn't as though there was a golden age where this was going on everywhere all the time and now it isn't.

I miss the sparkle of life. Now there is financial security, less worries about meaningless trifles, but so much less sparkle, and chronic lower back pain.

[...]

[quote] These things were always rare enough to be valued and worth the time to find them. It wasn't as though there was a golden age where this was going on everywhere all the time and now it isn't

R44 Everyone has their own experiences of life. Mine has been that smartphones and social media have greatly reduced the ability of my peers to carry on those extended, erudite conversations we had 15 years ago. They also have difficulty staying focused on conversations, at regular intervals looking away at their smartphones and the smartphones of their neighbors. Trying to have an extended conversation with anyone under 35 is impossible, due to their inability to relate to/pursue human interation.

I miss gay bars and hookups where you actually worked to meet someone, talked, drank and then went home and fucked. This app shit makes it so easy but so much less of an actual thing and more like getting a happy meal.

I miss PB CRISPS

From life in general and the passage of time? My parents. (One died, the other one's brain is scrambled eggs.) Living in a time that wasn't so corporate. The sense of family, the sense of Sunday being a day of rest.

I miss bars as R48 said - they could be nervewracking as hookup spots but also great to just chat with someone. I miss the ability to cruise and meet someone - the adventure of that.

I miss a lot of what COVID has changed.

R49 I made this for you.

(and me, too)

Disco roller skating. Want to relive the Xanadu days...

I miss my mom and life before puberty. Also the dearth of great films as opposed to the crap that is released now.

I miss my sweet cat.

CARBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My dog, Max 😢

I miss having a relatively stress-free life, before terrorist attacks, climate change, inflation, low interest rates on bonds and bank deposits, covid, political polarisation, rampant homelessness and big uptick in crime, opioid deaths and current threat of nuclear war.

As much as I rely on technology these days, I do miss the days when people were actually talking and paying attention to each other, and not completely absorbed in their phones.

Vigor and strength of youth. Which lasted for me even into my 40s. But in my 20s, wow. Every day in my commute and my job on campus I see young men who are light as air. You notice how they move up and down staircases and of course doing any sports.

I miss my libido.

Life before smartphones.

The 90s, it was the peak of Western Civilization. The perfect mixture of convenient technology and the old school. Life will never be so perfect again. Then 9/11 & iPhones happened and everything went to shit.

I miss 90s movies.

Sure, they had a cheesy streak… that’s what I loved about them!

I miss Tom Petty.

A lot.

I miss being able to lose weight so easily when I was young. Now that I'm older it seems quite difficult to lose weight, a constant battle. But I'm not ready to throw the towel in yet!!

I miss my mom. This is a strange thing to say because she died when I was 13, so I never knew her as an adult. Plus, she could be quite prickly and wasn’t terribly warm or loving. And she made some terrible life decisions. I’ve been mad at her for all these things for a really long time.

But the older I get, I realize that for her time she was very brave and ambitious. She did everything “right” within her very limited circumstances. Religion and being married to a psychopath doomed her even though she tried so hard her whole life. I feel great compassion for her and wish I could tell her these things.

It wasn't the sweetest hangover, and yes I'm over it...and Miss Ross.

I miss having a network of friends. They disappear as you grow older and you never find out what happened to them.

😥 I miss my family, relatives, and dear friends who have left this world, many far too young.