How to overcome chronic shyness?

Practice non-judgment and forgiveness, of yourself and others. When you realize that no one really cares about your perceived "flaws" or "mistakes," and those who do only do so because they are so insecure they need to tear someone else down to feel better about themselves, it's easier to remember that we're all human and we all make mistakes, but we all have something uniquely special to bring to the world. Consciously practice believing in yourself and what makes you you.

Jack n coke

You just think you're better than everyone!

Improv classes

Join Toastmasters

Try building habits. I have no idea where you begin but for example: Expand your comfort zone. Go to stores or cafés where you have to talk to the people working there. If you want something, ask. If it is compatible with your line of work, do presentations, maybe for one or two of your colleagues at first - Just you and a whiteboard and 15 minutes. The topic doesn't matter. Learn to get a grip on your negativity. Make realistic risk assessments. What is the absolute worst case if, e. g., you apply for a job? That the interviewer laughs at you? Maybe. He won't decapitate you or broadcast your interview on social media. Get confident that you would be able to stomach a setback, but also keep in mind that what you just imagined is the absolute worst case - probably it's not going to be that bad. Also: Go out and flirt. Be nice to the salesperson. Pay someone a compliment. "You have a wonderful smile" will build the other's confidence as well as yours.

Go on cam naked

Alcohol and cocaine work for me.

I think it's really helped my shyness to remember, like R1 said, that no one cares as much as you assume they do. People care about themselves and are focused on their own shit and their own families and jobs etc. They might think about you for 5 minutes but then they are back to themselves.

And ultimately - if they do care or you look stupid, or they think you're a weirdo, etc - none of it matters. Life is very short.

And don't beat yourself up and spiral about being shy. Everyone is different. It's perfectly FINE to be shy and/or introverted - own it. Feeling bad about it will just hold you back further. Plenty of people find shyness charming.

Shy and socially anxious people are made, not born. They have bad experiences that taught them people can’t be trusted, so they’ve developed defenses to keep them away.

The best cure for shyness is to find people you like who aren’t assholes and spend time with them. Social skills can be learned, but they need to be reinforced by the people around you.

Thanks for the responses everyone. I appreciate it.

The root cause of my shyness if feeling out of place in this world. I'm asexual, so I don't even feel much kinship with gays.

Picture everyone in their underwear!

There's also medicine for it - I had crippling social anxiety and now I take Sertraline for it and it's changed my entire life. The social anxiety is completely gone and I'd even say I'm outgoing now.

I should also add, though, that Sertraline drops your libido to about zero.

I tried that R4. It made my anxiety go through the roof. The whole point of improv is making a fool out of yourself and letting yourself go. It got in my head too much.

Cisgender heterosexuals have no excuse for shyness or anxiety. They're totally in context, surrounded by like-minded friendlies. This is THEIR WORLD. What could they possibly be shy or anxious about, being in the ruling majority??

R1, sage advice

Magic 🍄.

I like R19's suggestion. You should try microdosing.

"Cisgender"

huh?

R15 NOW a warning!?

My first planned (sarcastic) response was Xanax, but like viagra helps with ED, it might not be a bad idea.

The (temporary) confidence will allow you to break that barrier.

I introduced myself to one of the happy hour hosts, who introduced me to several folks.

It worked for me! Hope you have the same success.

It depends on the context.

Overcoming shyness at work is different from the dating world is different from the bathhouse.

Go to work naked

Read this book OP, I think most shy people are just introverts..

I was born shy and still have a problem with it. Not as bad as it used to be as I have had some success with overcoming the problem of shyness and isolation with the help of some wonderful people and groups over the years as well as the passage of time.

I don't know how old you are but I have found that the older I get the more brave I become and try not to get upset with what people think of me, either real or perceived. I have some good days where I feel great and then some bad days where the old issues, shyness and problems come back. However if you work on it, IT DOES GET BETTER. I can now see all the progress I have made.

Is OP the young porkbeast frau who whines on here all the time? Put down the fanfiction and pick up some weights.

If it's Asperger's -- and sometimes it is sometimes it isn't -- then accept that's the way you are and forget about changing yourself. It's just the way your brain is wired.

So, I used to be pathologically shy. Not "aw how cute, he's shy", but shy to a very troubling extreme. Although I'm not exactly extroverted now -- far from it -- I'm a lot different. Prozac had made an effect when I was on it, but therapy helped a lot as well. Therapy helped me realize that, no, I'm not an alien, and that other people have their insecurities as well. There are very few, if any, people who are automatic lives of the party who can command any social situation with perfect grace. And, as one therapist told me, "The irony is that if you felt safe at home, you would feel safe out in the world." So part of the trick was learning that the world wasn't *that* malevolent, that people weren't focusing on me like a laser and waiting for me slip up and then mercilessly torment me for it. Far from it.

You have to put yourself out there. Speak up in class/at work. The more you do it, the easier it gets. When you're meeting a new person, ask them questions. It helps you stop thinking about how you're coming across and you can focus on the other person. Plus, people love to talk about themselves.

R22 I lol’ed

Losing weight and stop being so judgmental of yourself and others. And get treated for paranoid delusion as no one really looks at you, and nobody cares if you ever exist, so just live your life normally and peacefully.

Therapy, Toastmasters, maybe medication.