Things About Gay Life You Don't Identify With

They are pretty silly. I think it's some kind of fetish, BDSM thing.

Extreme politics-hard left or hard right, seems that’s where most gay men fall politically.

Just as a lark, i once posted a pic of me in a harness on a hookup site. The hits i got went through the roof.

i get bdsm but not the need to wear the harness in every public gay space. At Pride or bars or music festivals or camping grounds or even gay beaches. i don't get the appeal of bathhouses. poppers me sick. i don't get throuples. i like drag queens but in limited amounts. i don't get puppy play/masks.

You don't got a lot R4.

Fisting is grotesque. I know many gay men are into it, but I don't want my entire fist in someone's ass and certainly don't want one in mine. It sounds like it's excruciatingly painful and very dangerous as well.

Gay men kissing their male friends on the lips when they randomly run into each other at Starbucks.

Ew.

We know where those lips have been.

I'm not a huge fan of drag queens. They all look the same to me and don't really do anything besides lip sync to songs made by other people. Every time someone brings me to a drag show I'm always bored out of my mind and think "Is it time to go home yet?"

I don't give a shit about Broadway musicals.

All my gay friends are obsessed with Real Housewives. I don't care about these rich women with too much time on their hands screaming at each other over some trivial nonsense.

The obsession with vaginas. That said, i love a bottom who moans Fuck my pussy when I'm pounding his ass

Dance music

Rose, they're to attach to leashes when their mothers bring them into grocery stores so they don't wander away.

The need to make one's sexual orientation the center of one's existence. While it colors other facets of my own life, it's only one part of who I am.

I mean, I'm pretty fucking gay...I'm a costume designer for God's sake. But I still get up to lots of other things that have nothing to do with the fact that I'm gay.

Perhaps it has to do with maturity...but I've seen men and women of all ages behave that way.

Supporting the extreme far left no matter how insane the issue at hand may be. Just because we are liberal doesn’t mean that we have to go along with everything.

AbFab is boring to me

R6 I really don’t think THAT many gay men are into fisting. I’ve played around with many gay men over the years and I’ve never met one who was into that. It’s a niche fetish, and it’s not a “gay” thing. Some straight people are into that. Hell, there are straight perverts who go to a dominatrix for that.

Having sex with men. I don’t want anyone up my ass or to put my dick up a dirty asshole. Everything else about being gay is great!

[quote]Gay men kissing their male friends on the lips when they randomly run into each other at Starbucks.

According to early interviews with those afflicted, that was the #1 route of transmission for monkeypox. Every one of them bumped into an old friend on the street, and after a friendly kiss and a quick hug, they were covered in lesions below the belt. Gravity is a real bitch.

Super short short and tank tops. Tacky as hell.

R6 was getting double-fisted as he was typing that...

"Super short short and tank tops. Tacky as hell."

Fuck off, bitch!!!!!!

Earrings

Caftans

It seems to be a thing with mostly young gays, but I don't think painted nails look right on a guy unless you're a Goth with black nail polish.

Datalounge

R24 I like dark nail polish on guys pretty much no matter how they dress. I just generally don't like bright colors or pastel polish

Slutty underwear like thongs for daily wear.

Cock piercings and having lots of tattoos.

Promiscuity.

Extreme sex. I'm all for kink and fetish but if you have to have 50 anonymous loads in you in order to cum you need a therapist. And Valtrex. Whore.

I have no interest in Drag, Theatre, BDSM, anything kinky or violent, clubs, "going to P-Town", parades-- Its fucked- I don't feel an affinity for any of it. And I am not proud of that. I had one gay friend about 20 years ago. (43)

I did watch 2 soap operas growing up and dig men's fashion and follow around 10 designers. I particularly like Japanese designers. That's the extent of it. I do dig some female artists that gay men like- Kate Bush, Tori, Joni.

Cannot stand Madonna, Janet, or Mariah. I do like Lady Gaga. Not love, but I like her.

Pigs

[quote] The obsession with vaginas.

Where is that any part of gay life, R11?

Presenting hole on sex apps as a conversation started.

The ones that are most eager to share are always the ones with the most messed up beef curtains.

Wanting huge jumbo sized cocks. Average is fine with me.

Drag and the support of violently misogynistic white autogynephiles.

Agreed, R35. I don't get size queens.

The summer uniform. A loudly-colored tank top with short shorts.

I do have a basic white gay haircut, though, so I can't rag too much on the whole ensemble.

Giving tacit acceptance of "LGBTQ+" or trans issues. I strongly buck the grain on that. You won't see me touch or carry one of those ugly fucking flags.

R38 - I refuse to wear any "gay" clothes or accessories that have the pride colors or slogans on it. Everyone knows I'm a huge fag when I open my mouth, I don't need my clothes to do the work for me in that regard.

Good for you r39

Guys with BIG builds or any build at all.

Growing up I didn’t think about , daydream or fantasize about muscular guys.

I don’t understand this relentless worship of muscles 💪.

I’m only attracted to slim guys with natural bodies.

Gays who insist their cats only use Pretty Litter.

Most things.

Fag hags.

Calling men “Gurl” and using “she” & “her” instead of “him” & “his”.

I don't get the appeal of drag queens. Personally I'm not attracted to men who express themselves by dressing as a woman and I don't find drag queens or drag shows entertaining. Drag has become so mainstream, it's not surprising that so many straight people associate drag with "being gay". (If you're gay, you must enjoying dressing up like a woman!)

On the flip side, I don't get the whole leather scene either. It's just another form of drag.

And I don't understand why so many gay men are attracted to loud, brash female characters. Example: Bea Arthur is about every role she ever played.

the frau'ish attitudes in this era

r33 the world according to political fauxbians.... which, in turn, generated a clapback and has been a battle ever since.

[quote] Presenting hole on sex apps as a conversation started.

One never gets a second chance to make a first impression.

r49 Nah, most people are forgettable.

the prevalence of alcohol and party drugs in most scenes

Hyper sexuality

I've never understood the extreme focus on certain actresses, female singers or celebrities of any generation, so going on and on about people like Judy, Marilyn, Cher, Liza, Madonna, Whitney, Janet, Princess Diana, etc. etc. etc. has never registered.

The Oscars obsession. I don’t get it.

Rimming and salad tossing.

R54 The Tony Awards are worse. Talk about GAY!

God some people are clueless.

R55 it’s one in the same

Oh look! I found the Maiden Aunt Monday tea.

Huge group outings and taking my shirt off at a nightclub.

Some gay things are so monkey see-monkey do.

Many of the things described in this thread are related to sex or sexual obsession or a sex-centric life. I don't identify with that. I love sex, but I also think it has its place. I don't understand building your whole life around sex, and I don't think a so-called community built around the single shared fact that you like to have sex with other men is much of a community.

I guess ... I don't identify with the "gay community", whatever that is. Most of the community characteristics seem ridiculous, trivial or sad.

R26, can you explain why you like them, or is it one of those indefinable things? To me, painted nails are feminine, period. Actually, it’s not just feminine, it’s trans, like wearing makeup. I feel like it has become a thing for young men who want to look gender-ambiguous, but I don’t like gender ambiguity.

But, anyway, that’s just me. I’m curious if you can explain what’s appealing about men with painted nails, even if they’re painted very dark red, blue, etc.

Harshly judging others in the community like the quips are being tallied.

Gay people have all been picked on. Let's not do it to each other.

I'm not the original nail polish poster. I do agree that dark colors (black, charcoal, navy) are just more modern on anybody, male or female.

Broadway musicals have already been mentioned, I’ll mention them again. I am open minded though. I was cringing during the performance of cats on Broadway in NYC in the late 80s. I was thinking about the effort of all the people involved and just tried to keep smiling

Living in gay ghettos. I was in WeHo for 2 years and hated it. I don't want to be cruised grocery shopping.

Jockstraps. They are just too uniform-like. Ubiquitous. I think they're really boring. I'd rather see a guy either naked or in underwear.

Cock rings.

Sex with men. Ghastly, vulgar, animalistic, self-destructive, disease spreading.

When the man goes up in the man.

Indulding in a harmless little fetish = appalling and tacky and beyond boner killing!!! I would NEVER.

Indulging

Prince Alberts

GETTING ALL GUSSIED UP IN THAT FANCY DESIGNER STUFF. HAIR SALONS AND ELECTROLUXING THE BODY HAIR. GOD GAME ME THAT HAIR AND I AINT ASHAMED. AND THOSE NANCY FELLAS WHO POUR HOT WAX AROUND THE NADS AND RIP OUT ALL THE HAIR AND PUT CLOROX ON THEIR HEINY HOLES. ITS A HOLE NOT YOUR PUCKER LIPS FOR KISSING, BOYS! DON'T GET ME STARTED ON FROGGY FOOD THE FANCY BOYS EAT LIKE THAT KISH AND RUCKALA.

R64, thank you. I understand that darker colors are more fashionable on women right now (although a truly stylish woman will only wear colors that look on her, regardless of fashion).

My question, though, is why someone would find men wearing nail polish of any color - dark or light, modern or outdated -attractive when it's a historically feminine practice in the sense that it's something we associate with women, like wearing makeup or dresses.

I understand that some people DO like it, which is their right. I'm just trying to understand what's attractive about it. I know why I don't like it ... so I'm interested in while people feel the opposite way.

R74 ... finally someone who gets it!

R73, Prince Alberts are not limited to gay men. Neither are cock rings, for that matter. We may have started the fad, but the straight guys have taken it up with a vengeance.

R75 OMFG would you shut your yammering clam. "I'm just trying to understand why people like...." For chrissakes for a gatekeeper on masculine sartorial choices and grooming, you type like Queen MARY!

[quote] I don't get the appeal of drag queens.

They are the same as clowns to me--both are scary. Just look at them!

R45- I have one thing to say-

You go GURL!

[quote] Gay people have all been picked on. Let's not do it to each other.

this namby pamby attitude along with the all gays must be effeminate, squealing, yaassssss kweens that crossdress and rid themselves of all things deemed toxic. Or really "all" of anything, just this notion we must all fit in a confined box and be the representation for the entire community, becausee, alas, we carry that burden upon our shoulders because we might be the first faggot that somebody meets.

And everybody has a different perspective on what the ideal representation should be.

I think the headache comes that with every subculture, every niche, every circlejerk of gay you can engage in... it often feels like an extreme.

I'd say I'm into moderation in all things but I wouldn't want to hang in most moderate cliques because it's usually the buddhist wankoff types pretending they're monk or enlightened hot sauna naked yogis that literally live with their heads up their derrieres. . .

but I guess it's true of any demographic. All the individualists end up looking and sounding the same, too. Everyone becomes a flanderized caricature the longer they stay in any one scene. But even the most introverted among us are still tribalistic creatures with a need for community or at least the occasional support and resources of one.

Yet this uniform gets restrictive... you become avoidant when you don't want to have to watch every word, every step, you just want to be able to breathe without the poppers or maybe with.

Or break into a stream of incoherent thought that causes outrage in random strangers as you run naked down the street covered in lime green jello shouting "Soylent Green is People" onto the night.

I do not identify with the reality that there are now at least a half dozen active threads on Billy Eichner and that fucking Bros film.

The obsession with female pop stars. I followed a bunch of gay guys on Twitter and ended up unfollowing most of them because they kept filling up my feed with songs and news of these women.

R82, tell me about it. I'm sick of the "stan" culture that seems to permeate everything now. The worst fans these days are Beyonce and Swift fans. No competition.

the sporty bi/lesbian

truck driving bi/lesbian

dog loving bi/lesbian

Vegan member of PETA bi/lesbian

.... that's not me

R8- Do you know who loves Drag Queens most of all?

FRAUS

[quote]this namby pamby attitude

Is it namby-pamby, or is it maybe just idealistic? I agree with that poster, in that I wish we were more empathetic with each other. Though I think in general we are, it's just the nastier side of gay men that you sometimes see in nightlife scenarios. I've had gay men be out of the blue nasty to me in the most baffling ways sometimes. I had a terrible high school experience and the arrested development of some gay men I've met has stung worse than those years. I get that "hurt people hurt people", but I always hope I at least don't make others feel that way.

(Incidentally, I've had several occasions where guys are nasty and it turns out they want to fuck - speaking of arrested development, it's very "pulling the pigtails of the girl you like in school" type behaviour.)

I get it though, because at the end of the day it'd be like expecting all straight men to get along. We're just men, no different than them except we want to fuck each other rather than women.

Teen girl culture. Like when men way out of their teens and twenties breathlessly discuss stuff like Emily in Paris. Why would you be proud of watching that?

I'm sitting here trying to think how to invert it... things about gay life I do identify with and I'm kinda stumped other than that feeling you're among your own, whether or not you fit in or the crowd allows you to fit in (examples above), but I do love that ease when I am surrounded just by a bunch of gay men who do want to get along. Anybody else?

It's a failed attempt to make fey chaps look masculine. It only makes them look clownish.

The near complete focus on sex, and the need to pick a type and become it to fit in.

The hilarity of deploying MF on DL.

Wow you guys seem like you'd be real fun at parties.

You really think the stereotypical gays being talked about in this thread are having fun R92? They seem unhappy and exhausting to me, but maybe the clownish, attention seeking "JOY" they exude is genuine. I have my doubts.

I'm sorry, I don't get the aversion to harnesses.

He'd look even better without the silly thing on, r94.

Look to the left, R94. All harnesses are not created equal, yet many harnesses are too much the same.

R96 The guy on the left is asking, “Does this harness make me look fat?

Musicals are terrible. All of them. Opera is boring.

Musical Theatre is shrill, exhausting, and relentless.

what a negative Nellie thread

bad energy all around

No drag. No Bey, No more AHS, no poppers, no prep, no Bros movie, none!!!!!

I don’t understand why the gay community as a whole puts porn stars (and these days OnlyFans guys) on a pedestal. I get that we all need to jerk off, but can we just admit that taking a picture of your asshole spread open and posting it on Twitter is not a talent? Most of the guys who do this have an IQ of about 65, and if they weren’t doing this they’d be working some minimum wage job.

R102 intelligence ain’t all that.

You’re right R103. All that time I wasted in grad school, and I still can’t make my ass cheeks wiggle like that.

[quote]can we just admit that taking a picture of your asshole spread open and posting it on Twitter is not a talent?

The balancing skills alone are not to be dismissed.

Promiscuity. & the idea that no gay person wants a straight life because we are wired differently. I’m a real romantic, I grew up watching romcoms & reading romance novels. I wanted to fall in love & have a family somehow. I did, I’m happily married & have adopted children. We are proud members of the community, actively involved in pride & local pride, a big part of our identity is that we are gay. But day to day, we pay out bills, work, do the school run, be a taxi service to our kids, walk our dog. Boring but ultimately very happy.

I do love me a good drag act — emphasis on "good".

As for the weird fetishes, the getups, the socks, the harnesses.. Couldn't care less, just take that silly stuff off and come to bed.

Going to a gay bar can be nice now and then. Maybe 4, or 5 times a year, mostly in summer.

Almost everyone in this thread seems boring in the extroyme!

We're all waiting with bated breath for you to spice things up a little, R108

R108, most people are boring to the extreme. You need us to be for the taxes.

The obsession with the human raisin known as Luke Evans.

Drag Queens...not into it at all.

Diva worship...why go to hear the same songs more than once?

R94, it’s funny, but you and I view that picture from opposite perspectives. I see it and think, “he’s handsome, but I wish he’d stop messing with his body hair. Also, the trilobite abs are too much and too generic – like every other Instaho in the world. And the harness is just silly. It’s ‘kinky’ without actually being kinky at all.”

The point is that I keep seeing men just like him presented as sex objects for gay men, but I don’t think they’re sexy. I don’t think anyone so obviously focused on his own appearance is sexy, whether they’re as generic hot-guy as the photo or some “smell my stinky man-pits, son” faux-daddy. There seems to be no appreciation among gay men for men who are naturally and easily sexy and virile without all the fucking artifice, fantasy and LARPing ... and overly developed and "perfect" bodies.

Rosebuds

Lazy bottoms. Total tops.

I love total tops. If a boyfriend of mine started to insist that I fuck his ass, I’d throw him to the curb.

Open relationships. You don't know where other people have been.

Even when I had the body for them, I never understood the appeal of circuit parties / white parties.

R118 they are a place for vapid assholes to get together, do drugs, and spread STDs.

Never liked Cher, Madonna, Mariah, Britney, or Beyoncé. Hated AbFab. Can’t stand Real Housewives. Don’t like superheroes. Hated Sex & the City.

The misognistic BS about female bodies which I'm amazed still goes on. There's nothing wrong about being attracted to men. I don't have to justify being gay by claiming it's because women are repulsive when they're not. It makes us look fucking stupid.

For every R94, there are 30 of these.

R110 something tells me ye don’t contribute that much.

Gee, just what this site needs, another, "Look at me!!! No one can tell I'm a homo!!!" thread.

Another thread for ashamed gay men to try and separate themselves from their brethren who share and enjoy aspects of human culture which they deem inappropriate and/or demeaning.

All for the sake of retaining the anonymity which they have cultivated through the years remaining sheltered and detached to preserve face value.

Well...bravo...

Harnesses are popular just because they frame the boobies. They're basically there to beam out to the world, "Yes, I want to be objectified for my tits. Have at it!"

Which is an exclusively gay thing—most women and few straight men would have the nerve even if they did want to attract the attention.

I'm WAY over them but my eyes do go to them when I see them. I think it started with backpacks. Hikers and urban hikers with hard bodies realized that they could go shirtless with a backpack and have people ogle their tits while acting like the framing of them was unintentional and they were just doing an active/athletic thing. I think the homos zeroed in on the backpack straps and just started manufacturing them without the useful part as a slutty accessory.

R123, you'd be wrong. But I reckon you're used to that.

Not a fan of nightclubs, even less the bar scene.

Other than the extreme sexual fetishes, I think some should chill out about what others like. On the flip side, the fan girls should chill out about what they like. Being a fan of Rupaul and Ariana is not a personality trait. Gen Z and Millennials think they need to list their favorite things constantly, no one fucking cares. This isn’t kindergarten and you don’t need to constantly tell people which Disney movie is your favorite.

Not 128, but their comment got me thinking about at what point did it become "OK" to be a Disney fanatic as an adult?

Things about lesbian life I don't identify with: Everything.

-Lez

R129 if you are referring to loons who fill their homes with Disney merchandise crap: Absolutely strange.

Adults going to a Disney park every now and then: Totally alright.

Doubt it R126 there’s not much imagination belonging to most of the posters in this thread, ergo……..

R124 well said.

Think about it, R133. You just told me you know better somehow what I earn than I do. People like you ruin DL. But if you read your posts, you may understand why no one likes you.

R134 girl shut up I was talking generally. Jeez don’t take offense so easily.

[quote] you know better somehow what I earn than I do

Yoda fan? 😂

There's actually nothing wrong with that sentence structure, R135. However, I would have used punctuation and I would have moved the position of "better" in the sentence:

"You know, somehow, what I earn *better than I do."

R136 should instead of would babes, and yes the sentence was wrong x. Furthermore it also wasn’t correct in reference to what I had said, so it was really, especially sad :(

R135, you're the only person I've got on block so you're now talking to yourself, dear. Another thing I'm sure you're used to.

Jesus, all this for an off hand remark following her cutesy spelling of "extroyme." There are some real no hopers on this site.

R138 it’s a kath and Kim joke pls 😭

I cannot stand the Pup thing. What it sounds like to me, is the people who have to masquerade to have sex are having an internal crisis about who or what is sexually attractive to them from a facial standpoint. Possible bisexual men and trans men that went too far and have second doubts. Here in NOLA decades ago, we used to talk about people who'd use paper grocery bags to cover their faces during sex. Better known as 'bumping uglies' here. Also major hinting at zoophilia with woofing and awoooing while ejaculating. Really grotesque stuff and a kind of trend that will age like milk.

The love for straights.

*shock* I also cannot stand the concept of hooking up with random people. Just for sex. It's a bad idea from a health standpoint because nobody wants an STI unless it's your kink. Then you're a whore, darlin'.

I understand short-term relationships that you expected to last longer, that went too quickly. That happened to me with my first guy. But I was also 24 and it was DAMNED time I got some action. But nearly a year later I have no desire to just ring up anybody and nail. My hand does the job just find until I go steady with a great guy someday.

R66- I would not be offended if some good looking guy was cruising me at Trader Joe's.

[quote] My hand does the job just find until I go steady with a great guy someday.

Sad!

SURPRISE ANAL !!!!!

Just how?

R140 -- I'm not into Puppy Play but I understand where it comes from. There are the guys who enjoy / get into Leather and guys who don't. (Personally I don't - but I can understand the attraction to it) Then there is the age old human trait of the young not wanting the same thing as the olds. So young guys that are inclined to Leather, but don't want to emulate Old Guys because of the arrogance of youth, have come up with a new type of fetish costume. Their generation is also more into superhero and furry stuff, and overall Americans are much more indulgent of their actual dogs than we were 30 odd years ago, so the evolution makes some sense.

Some of these fetishes aren't restricted to "gay life."

Heterosexuas hold leatherfests and conventions as well, and if I had to guess, there are probably more of them involved in the furry stuff and cosplay.

Knowing all the lyrics to vapid pop hits and singing/posing along with them the minute they're heard somewhere.

R132, yup, the first one is exactly what I was referring to.

The judgement and pearl-clutching over what gets other people off sexually.

It's no one's fucking business what other people are into, it's between them and their partner(s).

I can't see any appeal whatsoever in those ludicrous pup masks, but it doesn't do any harm. I'm not into blonds but I don't cast aspirations on those that are.

The thread title, R150, is "Things About Gay Life You Don't Identify With."

Yes - I don't identify with people who are judgemental and pearl-clutching over what gets other people off sexually.

It's no one's fucking business what other people are into, it's between them and their partner(s).

I can't see any appeal whatsoever in those ludicrous pup masks, but it doesn't do any harm. I'm not into blonds but I don't cast aspirations on those that are.

Happy now you pedantic fuck R151?

Conversely, I don't identify with people like R150 who seem to believe the freedom to be you and me is an exemption from other people's predictable or logical reactions when they take up the doing of weird fucking shit and talk about it.

If you want to go to work wearing pink lace women's panties or use the spunk of the guy you just fucked in the Meat Rack as lube for the next guy you fuck in the Meat Rack or just paddle around on all fours in a furry puppy mass, live free and prosper. But don't get all ragey if you talk about it and get WTF? and the like in reply.

Are you mentally ill, R152? Chill the fuck out, take your meds and have a lie down.

Hrmmm I agree with R150 / R152. A lot of you are using the “I don’t like ‘x’ therefore it’s nasty and gross and the people that do it are nasty and gross” without being able to look outside yourselves and allow for subjectivity or to acknowledge that other peoples interests aren’t really for your to turn your nose up at.

FWIW, a couple of things about gay life that I don’t identify with are 1) lot cabin repubs and 2) judgmental losers that don’t have any self awareness (R153 etc.)

[quote]The obsession with vaginas.

?

[quote]Things About Gay Life You Don't Identify With

Marriage, children and serving in the military.

Never understood the obsession with any of these.

So, you don't get Secretary Pete basically?

[quote] Marriage, children and serving in the military. Never understood the obsession with any of these.

Especially the military. Talk about an invitation to a party I never wanted to attend.

[QUOTE] Things About Gay Life You Don't Identify With

Perpetual adolescence.

I don't particular care for gay marriage, or marriage at all for that matter.

The rainbow flag and all its tacky iterations makes me cringe.

I just realized I am sitting here using a facial roller (the same one that Sutton has on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills)

Blowjobs.

Poor r163's hookups.

Who asked you to identify with any of it?

Take your ball and go home, already. No one cares.

Feet. Scat. Piss. Get some help, honey, we’re concerned.

I have no problem with wire hangers in the closet for some things.

Froy.

Giving handsome homophobic men a pass for their homophobia only because they are handsome.

He may be gorgeous, but he's still a piece of shit.

[quote] Never liked Cher, Madonna, Mariah, Britney, or Beyoncé. Hated AbFab. Can’t stand Real Housewives. Don’t like superheroes. Hated Sex & the City.

I'm with you, R120 except for superheroes. I just love a hot, athletic, muscular guy in a skintight uniform/costume who comes to the rescue. I also like them tied up and gagged! Ha!

Excellent point, R124. But it's not because we're self-loathing or we don't care for our brethren who like those aspects of gay culture. It's just that we don't get it. It's not our thing.

I listed one of my kinks in this post. You may not get it, But you don't hate me for it. Although, I'd be glad to show you what fun it could be, if you have some rope. I'll bring the duct-tape!

r170 Oh, Princey. Use rope FFS.

"FFS"?, R171

FFS = For Fuck's Sake

R173 thank you for letting that fossil, r172, know what FFS is.

R155, shoving your arm up someone’s ass [italic] is [/italic] nasty and gross, R155. Not identifying with certain sexual practices that are celebrated by parts of the “gay community” is OK and is in fact the topic of the thread.

Also, no offense to Prince Charlie, R170, but one thing about gay life I don't identify with is regarding other gay men as my brothers or brethren. I have a lot in common with a lot of gay men or I wouldn't be at the DL, but I don't think think of them as family in any sense of the word. I have a lot in common with my colleagues, too, and we have our own jargon and our own "celebrities" and laugh at stuff that no one else would get, but that doesn't make them my family.

R174, Sorry I'm not as au courant as you.

Thank you, R173.

LOL, I'm R153 and I've had R155 on block for a long time. I didn't even realise R155 had replied until R175, so she must be a doozy all over the place!

Billy Eichner’s Bros.

At the end of the day I guess the truth is that we're all just men, with nothing else necessarily in common, especially as time has gone on and we are more part of society. I'd like us all to have a connection of sorts, but it's probably not a realistic thing to have, unless we're facing some serious adversity to us as gay men. And it's better that way if people are living better lives with less discrimination than there used to be.

So, I guess all that is to say I don't really identify with the idea that there even IS a thing as a "gay life".

That's the great irony of gay rights, isn't it, R179? If gays are successful in ending discrimination and achieving full equality with straights, then there would be no reason for a "gay community" to exist. There will always be subcultures of men into this or that, but it wouldn't be any different from (for example) straight guys into hunting, or straight couples into swinging.

We were really close to achieving that in 2015, but Obergefell changed everything. Suddenly, the people who don't want to be an ordinary part of society, the bitter, angry people who hate, hate, hate for a living, had to find a new cause. We all know what that was ...

[quote]That's the great irony of gay rights, isn't it, [R179]?

Absolutely. And even in the push for rights that I was a part of in the 00s, I remember thinking: "well, taking it all for granted in the future might end up feeling a bit sad, but it's really what we're fighting for at the end of the day".

Gay ghettos

QWEENS like this

[quote] shoving your arm up someone’s ass is nasty and gross,

To you maybe but not to everyone R175. Some people think two men kissing is gross. Doesn’t mean it’s correct. Let people enjoy the things they like.

All of the fisting queens are rushing to defend the hands and forearms that impale them.

[quote] Gen Z and Millennials think they need to list their favorite things constantly

Goddamned insipid social media!

Stretched out assholes

Puppet Pride!

R188 *Fist Kweens

Gay bumper stickers.

R190- or extremely tacky t shirts that say

I CAN'T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT

Just because nobody said it and it needs to be said: there is no legitimate or intelligent comparison between two men kissing and two men fisting.

What?!

This sort of thing...

Having an 'alt' twitter account where I post nudes and slowly become a only fans whore - litterally every guy who isnt bumfuck ugly in my age group has done this.

Aye, R195. I miss the old tumblr days, when Onlyfans didn't exist.

What's the purpose of injecting a saline infusion in your balls? Does it give pleasure?

[quote] What's the purpose of injecting a saline infusion in your balls? Does it give pleasure?

It stretches out the nerves along the skin of the scrotum providing a greater area of sensitivity. As for pleasure, the claims are that it's very pleasurable. I'll take their word for it because I'll never try it.

R148 The date was over for me the minute he broke out into "Vogue" and started doing all the queeny hand poses when it played over the speaker at the restaurant we were at. So typical and embarrassing to watch a guy in his 40's do this on a first date.

R199, at least it wasn't "Toxic" or "Oops I Did it Again" or "Baby One More Time".

Sluts, but then no one should identify with sluts gay or straight.

Did I already point out that the OP is a troll?

Getting HIV after slutting around and then suddenly becoming "pro Poz" overnight, telling people they are bigoted if they don't have sex with you.

R200, sorry to disagree, but voguing to a Madonna song is even less attractive than imitating Britney Spears. At least the latter is not - or less of - an old-timey "gay icon".

R198, it also makes the balls, or at least the scrotum, look bigger. This is the same reason men pump, and the results are the same - red, swollen junk that looks to be on the verge of gangrene. A vigorously pumped dick and saline-injected balls are both hideous, even worse than women with breast implants up to DDDD cup size. However, I don't think this is limited to gay men. I know there are straight guys who pump, probably numerically more than gay guys (although lower as a percentage). The swollen scrotum thing may be mostly gay, though.

Bump

Doing things in groups.

I know some gay men who can't communicate one-on-one. They can only function with others around. And even then, they are superficial. And catty.

R206, the worst ones are the ones who MUST brunch together all the time. They are the ones that you can hear even if you are sitting 100 ft away from them.

Well if I went to a restaurant on a first date with a man in his 40s and he VOGUED in my face I would think it was hilarious and look forward to all the other ridiculous behavior I would be treated to over the evening and night. The sky's the limit with a queen like that.

Vogue Vogue Vogue

I think the harness things are mighty stupid. Attach a dog leash to it.

Anything to do with a #2. Butt plugs, bdsm, promiscuity, ageism, drag, dance music, extreme fem.

Most music in gay bars and nightclubs is repetitive, boring and loud. It's deliberately played to induce anxiety in order to make you drink more.

Only a few bars play 'regular' music in any city. Even country is better than the regurgitated remix circuit diva crap. I endured too many tinnitus-inducing nights in my clubbin' youth to tolerate another minute of that shit.

Most gays have shit taste in music

R213, that's why I always say the stereotypical gays need to realize that there are other musical artists out there outside of female pop divas. A lot of gay men I know tend to listen exlusively dance or dance pop music. They would rather die than listen to a hard rock song. Different strokes for different folks and all that.

R206/207 Gays in groups are always best avoided.

R206 ... truer words were never spoken.

I have good friends who are gay men. I see them individually. Gay men in groups, no matter how serious the purpose of the group or how allegedly macho the men, always end up acting and sounding like a gang of middle-school girls.

House of SCENE QUEENS 👸

I hated them at first sight.

R218- Whom did you hate at first sight?

The vicious scene queens at R217.

R220- Okay. Thanks for answering my question.

I hate them too.

Generally, I don't relate to the gay fixation with costumes and in particular wearing women's clothes as a costume. Not drag queens, but men in thrift store dresses at Hallowe'en.

This thread just popped into my head the moment I saw that Attitude magazine—the UK's 'Out' counterpart—evidently flew Alam Wernik to London and gave him an award.

Nothing against him. I don't know the guy. I can assume he is perfectly nice and all that. But his job is to get fucked by different giant dicks and to eat cum from different giant dicks and take pictures of himself.

I don't get why gay men worship people for their appearances and give awards to people for having sex. I really do not get it. I do find it extremely alienating from gay organizations. I really, really do. I waa brought up to work hard and to value people who make contributions to the world, and I don't know why a person who looks like a Barbie or Ken Doll and just lies there and gets fucked and filled with cum is a person who the gay community identifies as the apex of our so-called community.

Never got it, never will get it, don't appreciate it.

Why does substance have NO relevance AT ALL among gay men?

R223, I appreciate a hot guy as much as the next gay man but I agree with you. I don;'t understand the lionization of porn stars by gay men.

Especially, the pornstars of today. Disgusting, no standards.

R225, you don't like porn stars with giant septum piercings, multicolored tats and fists stuck in their butts????

I agree with you completely, R223. But until there is less desire for that type of content it will continue in perpetuity.

For the record, I believe sex work is work: give them unionized hourly rates and healthcare. But I don't think we need to provide awards for "best cream pie" or "group orgy" or whatever else AVN doles out prizes for these days.

Treating everyone like shit except your hookup.

R223, you're right.

Perhaps this happens because lust for men is one thing all gay men have in common. In fact, it's the definition of being gay. When you built a community and subculture around sex, sexual things and sexual stars assume a disproportionate place in your world.

R229 Yes, sex with the same sex is what we all have in common as gay people.

It's what we have in COMMON. Common means shared among everyone. Not something extraordinary, jot something outstanding or unique.

You have sex with men, I have sex with men, RuPaul has sex with men, Paul Lynde had sex with men. It's common. It's not laudable or award worthy.

I just hate the part of gay culture that worships people solely for appearances and for fucking. I wouldn't be complaining about it if this thread didn't ask what makes people feel alienated.

I am here because my parents had sex but Parenting magazine and People magazine don't fly porn stars first class from Prague to L.A. to give them awards for doing what straight people do.

I feel lonely and estranged from gay men not only because of this type of thing but because of what does not matter to gay men. Which is to say anyting other than superficial appearances and sex. Working out, speedos at beaches, half naked at clubs, sex parties. I always thought growing up that gay men were creative and artistic but they are less so than any average person because they deem this haircut and that body and these clothes "right" and anything outside the current mandates "wrong," and looking like a bodybuilder and swapping loads is what it's all about.

I'm just lamenting, not arguing or trying to be persuaded otherwise. I'm 44 and I've now got 25 years of experience and I know the common denominators. I just don't like it. I'm a misfit. And it's fine, just a big disappointment.

I never in my many years on earth considered wearing nail polish. However, could one wear black nails with a black tuxedo?

Pretending not to know another gay guy I have clearly met before, or even had sex with before.

Why do guys do this? They even made a running joke of it on that Uncoupled show.

Meh R227 it’s an industry awards show. I honestly put the AVNs at the same level of importance, significance or respectability as the Oscars. They’re all just actors when it comes down to it.

I don't feel I fit in with or enjoy gay themed events, gay pride events, gay resorts, P-town, or even having a big group of gay friends. I'm glad people find what they're looking for in that kind of life, or find like-minded people. I don't enjoy when some of these people bash gays who aren't like them, or who they call heteronormative because they lead lives similar to straight people's lives or have a lot of straight friends. There doesn't have to be only one way to be a gay person. It's kind of stupid.

On another note, I don't like The Golden Girls!

Pretty much all of it

Knowing about "divas" and RuPaul and Housewives and fashion and dance music and pop culture celebrities, getting overly wrapped up in celebrity gossip, being bitchy to other people and thinking that's cool, wearing clothes that shout "I AM A GAY FASHION VICTIM" Golden Girls, Sex and the City, not knowing anything about sports, calling it "sportsball" as proof you don't know anything about it, glomming on to every new diet or exercise trend, being overly dramatic, acting like a helpless damsel in distress, hating straight people, only going to places where there are lots of gay people.

The commonly expressed feeling on DL that posters "hate" certain actors or singers and/or threads where DLers dump on actors like Billy Eichner or Bradley Cooper -- I've just never cared enough about an actor I've never met to develop strong emotions about them.

Politicians, OTOH....

R234, we must be seperated at birth. I am the exact same way. I have never even been to Pride and I also have 0 interest in ever going? It's just a bunch of people getting drunk in 90 degree weather, why would I want to do that? Getting wasted after college is kind of lame. I only have two or three gay friends, none of them in the same metro area. The fact that hypersexualization is so normalized among gay people is disturbing to me.

Yes R234 and R236 -- I had not read R234 before posting R235, but 100% that.

I've never had much in common with those sort of people and feel no kinship.

Fortunately the internet allows us to see that they make up a small but vocal minority of gay men, not the majority.

I think the thing I have most in common with other gay men is pop culture stuff - music, movies - but I always took things like singing and dancing in old movies seriously - unless they were very campy, I never saw them as camp, and I hate the way some gay guys see everything like that as camp. I like the arts, but it's a serious appreciation, if that makes sense. I also have a lot of likes that I don't share with that many gays I know. Liking metal or rap, for ex. Skateboarding. Going to arcades, whatever.

When you get away from the scene, what is so cool is that so many gay men actually do have interests outside of what is stereotypical. It's just never really shown in most portrayals of what we are supposed to be. Most gay men I know have excellent taste in music and a lot of knowledge of history, in my experience.

Another vote for drag.

One of the best things about being gay is not having to deal with women/women's things as much as straight men do, so I have no interest in wearing women's clothing or watching someone play-act being a woman.

Plus R240, drag just reinforces the whole "they just want to be women" notion.

Ditto the DL obsession with "fraus" whom many DLers clearly see as the competition.

I don't like drag, either, R240. I hated going to watch it with friends. Interestingly, it seemed to be much more popular with straight people, including straight men I know, than it did with me.

Also, bitchiness doesn't appeal to me. It might be fun watching Patsy Stone or Karen Walker on TV... less fun being around real life versions of them.

I dislike The Wizard of Oz (except for the flying monkeys). The song Somewhere Over the Rainbow strikes me as incredibly depressing.

A lot of you ^^^ could really be helped out by reading about the “I’m not like other girls I’m a cool girl” archetype and how lame it is.

Drag. It's not funny. I'm not entertained. It's just boring and cringe. I have no idea how it got so popular. I haven't watched a single episode of Ru Paul's Drag Race.

Drag is creepy. I feel so uncomfortable looking at them. Bozo the Clown was more entertaining than these drag queens.

I find such burlesques amusing for 1-2 drinks only.

Drag is hilarious.

Some people just HATE being gay, and that's sad.

R230 but what disappointments you isn't specific to just gay men, it's men in general. Straight men worship and objectify women for the same reasons, difference is women are much more private about their sex lives and don't reciprocate.

It's less common with straights simply because women are apart of the equation

I don't get half of the stuff people are commenting on in this thread. Now..... where's my sling?

Vaginal rejuvenation

I was creeped out by drag when I was young. A very large drag queen shoved his hand down my pants one noght in the middle of a club and it really shook me up. I thought he was a psycho when I saw him wandering around a club with Christmas lights in his wig.

But I came around to liking Drag Race, at least. Mainly, I like a lot of the contestants and I love seeing their talents showcased. I LOVE that most of them are funny looking gay men with a lot of creative impulses. I relate to that. Most are not 'Pit Crew' types, yet all any gay man wants to associate with in real life is 'Put Crew' types. I like seeing the gawky contestants take being creative seriously and learning about their lives. I absolutely adore Jinkx Monsoon, Ben DeLaCreme and others like them. It has almost nothing to do with the 'dressing as a woman' thing and I don't care that they do that—it doesn't affect my life at all.

I am a creative spirit and I really always thought this was a major aspect of being gay, something I'd have in common with gay men when I grew up, and it's not. I live in a city devoid of creativity and imagination, and gay men are 100% about conforming. Seeing drag performers on TV is as close as it gets to meeting my expectations.

But I don't really enjoy drag very much as performance in real life. On TV, it's interesting to me to see the behind-the-scenes creative processes. As a show, all you see is some guy galumphing around in a dress moving his mouth while music plays. I don't get the attraction to that at all.

I have no problem with drag... it's theater... though I don't like a cruel drag queen and there are some of them.

[quote] what is so cool is that so many gay men actually do have interests outside of what is stereotypical. It's just never really shown in most portrayals of what we are supposed to be.

This is a very significant observation. From the most Queer as Folk, in all iterations, to Bros, we are not only presented to the world as essentially one dimensional but we tell ourselves this is who we mostly are. It isn't true and yet, I often find when I am with a group of gay men, it's lurking... we should be fabulous in all ways and we're not. It is so weird we are dogged by what is essentially a very immature view of ourselves as a culture. Maybe that's the divide you often see here over something like marriage... some people cling to the notion we have to stay as we were and some people want to evolve into something else.

Actually R253, one of the great things about the US Queer As Folk was that it presented a range of gay men with only one character (Emmett) being the femme stereotype.

Granted most roles were played by straight actors, but as a teenager it helped me process that not every gay man was some sort of flaming fashion-obsessed queen who shrieked "FABULOUS!!!" at regular intervals.

But they still lived that insular, gay ghetto life, which isn't real life, R254.

Ummguys, Queer as Folk and Beautiful Thing were both fictional fantasy shows that were written to let gay people know that they aren't alone and that there is hope they will eventually find acceptance among others and accept themselves. They were of a moment in sociopolitical history, created as much to send a message as to entertain. Neither is a documentary meant to reflect real life.

R239, I agree with you. I used to try and fit in with that crowd in my early 20s and insecure, and once I got away from it, I now meet normal gay men.

Which is why I’m skeptical of the people here complaining about porn star worship. It makes me think they hang out with these shallow groups in the first place. Now that I avoid the scene queens, I don’t know any gays that worship porn stars.

"Supporting the extreme far left no matter how insane the issue at hand may be"

Almost every issue that you would name as an example was funded by the right and pushed by right wingers impersonating the left. As Patsy Ramsey would say, "Grow a brain!" The ONLY real left discussions you've probably ever heard in your life happened right here on datalounge.

[quote] Drag is hilarious.

No.

[quote] Which is why I’m skeptical of the people here complaining about porn star worship. It makes me think they hang out with these shallow groups in the first place.

I think it's more a case of these shallow gays being overrepresented in the media, social media, etc. They seem to be everywhere. Which makes gay men (who are not like this) feel alienated.

Pornstar obsessed gays are everywhere on DL. It's hardly a media thing.

R258 No.

I don't like musicals. I don't get the appeal.

R260, they’re only everywhere if you look for them.

The other day I was talking to a group of strangers at a bar and one person started complaining about the Dahmer documentary and how people are romanticizing Dahmer. I told them I haven’t seen anyone doing that and they went on to tell me about all these sites theybjd visited were here saw this happening. Well duh! If you spend your time seeking out sites that romanticize murderers then yeah you’re gonna start thinking this is a widespread issue.

Sorry for my spelling mistakes!

R256, US QAF premiered in December 2000. If you were an American gay man in the year 2000 and you thought you were alone, you were either living under a rock or in a fundie cult.

That's something I don't identify with: The need of every generation of gay men to insist that, when they were young, gays were all in the dark closet, invisible and deeply oppressed. I've seen people asserting that life for gays in the 1990s and 2000s was "terrible" and "so oppressed". Say what? And then older gays who should know better nod along because apparently being oppressed is part of the "gay identity".

[quote]I've seen people asserting that life for gays in the 1990s and 2000s was "terrible" and "so oppressed".

I suppose it depends where you were living. Where I grew up, it was illegal to be gay until 1997. Police would sit outside of gay men's houses and note any man who went in and out on a list of known gay men. That did foster a pretty unpleasant, oppressive feeling for me as a kid. Teachers at school would openly state they couldn't answer any questions about homosexuality or they would lose their jobs. It was kinda a big deal.

And then once it was over, we sorta became the most progressive part of our country for awhile. Funny how that happens.

[quote] I've seen people asserting that life for gays in the 1990s and 2000s was "terrible" and "so oppressed". Say what?

In some states, you could be arrested for having sex with another man. This was into the 00s. I'd call that "terrible" and "oppressed". And of course, this is just the United States. Just imagine what it's like to be gay in mudh of the developing world TODAY. Or somehwere like Eastern Europe.

What is your point R266?

No one in the thread said they felt they were the only homosexual on earth until QAF came out.

They said that the series presented a wider representation of types of gay men than had previously been seen in TV and movies.

Period.

Tops who say they will only get sucked and won't fuck you. Get lost!

And yet we have so many takers R270 and so many guys actively seeking out that very scenario

I don’t relate to the vast majority of gays who seem to believe that monogamy is evil or impossible.

The gay men who are turned on by unwashed pits. It’s a thing apparently. It’s also disgusting.

ITT: I'm not gay. I just like dick.

steroids

meth

poppers

Iced coffee

Anonymous sex.

Guys who are-

SCENEY, QUEENY, BITCHY

R278, that eliminates just about everybody in one way or another.

“Flip Flopping”

Queens who say "Y'all."

R281, even better--"folks". Y'all and folks are their attempt at avoiding saying "you guys". Their biggest fear is that they may misgender someone!!

I have relatives in the South who always said y'all so I noticed it more, when people in other areas started using it - maybe 20 years ago. It's here it stay so why go on and on about it?

Because I don't identify with it.

[Please refer to thread title.]

Thank you.

R284 I meant why do people go on and on, on DL, about it, generally. If anyone says "y'all" they usually get criticized. I never have noticed that it was gay people, particularly, saying it. (In real life.) Is it a gay thing?

Couldn't agree more R276. My mother told me to go fuck myself every time she'd order iced coffee, knowing I was going to tell he only trash drank iced coffee.

How charming.

Gay backseat drivers, gay armchair critics, whining and complaining gay bitchiness 100% devoid of catty fun, wit, insight, clever references, and cosmopolitican sophistication.

^ all of us DLers. Thanks

R18 - “…. I don’t want anyone up my ass or to put my dick up a dirty asshole. Everything else about being gay is great!

- Senator Graham

Ms. Graham has NEVER put his dick in ANY asshole.

[quote]Only trash drank iced coffee.

Where'd that idea come from, r286?

r291 Lipton's

I wonder how one identifies with harnesses? Perhaps like them or think they’re fun. Perhaps OP you need to think a bit more about the questions you ask-

Maybe if they spend to much time at the tanning salon?

i don't identify with drag, or the sing-song "HEEEEY GURRRL" stuff, or pretty much anything.

I get more acceptance from my straight friends.

I hate myself and dislike everything and everyone in gay culture.

Being cunty to celebrities, fat people, and total strangers.

What happened in that black hole you queens used to call a human soul?

DL happened, R297. If people talked the shit in real life that they talk on here, no one would talk to them. Granted, there's a high number where here is the only place they can find anybody to talk to at all.

R4, I don't get most of those things either; I don't care if others do; live and let live

When I hate is when I'll let people know I'm gay and they ask me about all or most of those things that you mentioned.

At times, they're confused. What? Why NOT?

And I'm like...okay, it's one thing to tell you I'm gay; now, you want to know what kind of shit (no, no that either) I'm into.

Drives me nuts.

Obsessing over messy reality TV women drama. Real Housewives, etc.

These woman are mostly borderline alcoholics with personality and anger issues. I get it is cast that way for ratings, but I have enough issues in my own life without voluntarily absorbing others problems as entertainment.

Trying to convince people who are not into femme gay culture that they are self-hating.

The obsession with youth to the point where faces are pulled so tight they look like wax. I'm all for upkeep to stay looking fresh, but I think men with character lines on their face as they age are sexy. Not everyone wants a 60 year old trying to pass as a Twink.

Gays used to cream themselves over RENT. I found it tiresome.

OMG, r303 my girlfriend and I were traveling in a car with another lesbian couple and they were playing the soundtrack and we had no idea what it was and we were both like, "This sucks!" We said the same thing when Rufus Wainwright opened for KD Lang once.

Oh my god, r11, I love hearing it, especially when they add the word “Daddy!”

[quote] Not everyone wants a 60 year old trying to pass as a Twink.

I don't think ANYBODY wants that. Unless the man has a ton of money and the other person is a parasite, being over 35 and styling oneself like a young person is off putting, I think, to everyone.

R304 I feel the same way in both cases.

I watched some of the live Rent musical on TV and turned it off because the music was so annoying.

Probably close to 20 years ago, I knew a cute gay guy who was obsessed with Rufus Wainwright. I tried to get into him but found him mostly grating. Then he opened for Tori Amos during her Strange Little Girls tour and that guy and I saw them two nights in a row and I found Rufus really annoying, both his music and his personality. He was obviously high on something and he talked about having gone to a gay strip club the night before (I think he said he had sex with a stripper) and then he implied he deserved Tori Amos's level of billing, coming too close to suggesting he was a better musician than she is. Totally lost all interest in him then. Messy and creepy and arrogant.

I convinced myself for a while that I liked this song but I am back to being annoyed by his manner of singing. He's got a case of the Ariana Grande lockjaw mumbles.

Anal. Not doing it. End of discussion.

Evil queens.

[quote]I think men with character lines on their face as they age are sexy.

A-fucking-men! I've said it before, but many men get even sexier as they age.

Rent sucks. One of the worst musicals I am aware of. When I first heard it and the parents were "singing" on the answering machine: "So let her be a lesbiaaaaaaaan..." my brother and I burst out laughing.

Could never get into Rufus Wainwright either.

Fair enough, R308. You have tried it, though, right?

R301 it’s a race to the bottom (pun not intended), lowest common denominator thing. When you get into gay culture the femmes want to get you into drag, do your makeup and make you fem too, it’s like how straight women do to us. This new society worships all things feminine as holy and sees masculinity as icky, except when it’s pounding their hole. There is a purity test to check the masculinity of any man and any man who is “gay” has automatically lost checkmark. Lots of gay men wanted to experiment and interact with feminine things growing up, like nail polish and divas, but were told no, so they became autistically (new word, I just invented) obsessed with those things and now they drown in them to overcompensate. A lot of the femme behavior is an affectation, just like bros who masc up.

There's something about the show biz talk and gossip that gets to me after a while, even though I love that subject. I get very mentally tired from it. Living vicariously through celebrities, hearing all the stories. I know when I've reached the saturation point. I need to take a long walk in some natural setting or call a relative who isn't into any of this culture.

Yassss Kweens

Yassss Kweens = fertilizer

Gay white men speaking with blaccents. Please stop.

Guuurl please!

[QUOTE]Things About Gay Life You Don't Identify With

The immaturity.

The victimization.

The limited world view.

The obsession with Sebastian Croft. He reminds me of Laverne DeFazio.

Drag queens

that rather large segment of the gay community that believes that gay men have the monopoly on everything and the majority of str8s are repressed rather than bigger freaks than they are.

Disney RuPaul Leather Bears ABBA- a UK thing, and still going. Brighton Blackpool Divas

R312: This new society worships all things feminine as holy and sees masculinity as icky, except when it’s pounding their hole.

Great, great point. I don't think this is just a gay thing, though. Lots of straight men - practically all straight men in respectable blue-state society, I'm sorry to say - feel the same way, even if they don't admit it. They are the saddest, most self-loathing bunch of people; they're pathetic.

I don't think most women like masculine men except as sex partners (but want ONLY masculine men as sex partners. No wonder heteros are so fucked up these days!).

And conversations at the DL prove over and over that gay men are mostly in line with this. DLers sneer at "AWGs" and masculine straight men even as they lust for them.

r323 American teen girls have been enthralled by androgynous rockers time immortal... the few years, the obsession has been on fauxgay kpop boy bands, thus males attempting to attract females are drawn to emulate them as well. . . while they gain attraction, most of these chicas will inevitably grow up and marry the red blooded, masculine male. It's not that far off from fauxlesbian - only bisexual or lesbian in college crowd. Most of these girls are more apt to want to roleplay as their idols than date them, despite the numerous softcore fanfics and art. Most fraus go thru a JT LeRoy phase. . . but inevitably they blossom and move from peter pan cosplay into 50 shades of sexy costumes. The more entertaining ones become sexy Rosa Parks or slutty Susan B. Anthony than a dime a dozen Sailor Moon or naughty catholic school girls.

R324, I agree, but that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about grown men who worry about "toxic masculinity" and uptalk and smile all the time, trying to be soft and not aggressive or self-confident. Men who, in their hearts, are ashamed of being men and of their fellow men. This is off-topic so I won't elaborate, but you know what I mean.

Don't identify with Thomas from 'Married at first sight UK' 2022 season. Exhausting.

R325 Oh, yeah, I see them on Twitter. I want to say, dude there are two sexes, you act/sound like a woman. Talking about safe spaces.

*And of course I would be told in a reply that even though he's a "cis male" or his pronouns are "he/him", that there are many different sexes and I should read a book.

Whatever the fuck this is.

Is that a condom made of chain-mail, R329?

R329, thought it looked knitted!

I think the idea of saying "woof" about a hot man is actually kind of degrading. We're not animals, I'm not going to "woof" at you.

R295 captures the homophobia on full display on this entire thread. Sad.

R7, yeah, those lips have been drinking Starbucks coffee!!! Shudder.

R332, especially since "woof" is mostly associated with the so-called bear community. Or, at any rate, that's where it originated.

Bears don't say "woof". Dogs say "woof". So why are "woofy" - is there a more infantilizing and feminine word? - men bears and not, say, Siberian huskies (a very sexy dog, as dogs go)?

R335, I almost spit out my food as I read what you typed. You are right, that makes 0 sense. Do gay bears happen to be retarded? That's the only reason I can see for them choosing "woof".

Speaking of bears, I don't identify with the "gay community's" apparently insatiable need to over-sexualize and fetishize everything.

When bears first became a thing in the 1990s, it was a breath of fresh air after years of trying to be aroused by porn that featured only shiny-smooth twinks and plastic muscle hunks, all with no hair on their bodies except maybe carefully trimmed armpit hair. It was a revelation. Here were big, hairy guys who were masculine in voice and manner. If they carried a few extra pounds, I was OK with that.

Then, in the blink of an eye, "the bear community" emerged, and suddenly it was all about "man smells", dropping your g's, shaved heads and leather and daddy-son and saying "fuck yeah" a lot. Oh, and pretending that you're a lumberjack or truck driver when in fact you're a florist in San Francisco and sound like it. Frustrating.

R337, pup play is really the nadir....so far. Who knows what will arise next, maybe dolphin cosplay or something?

That particularly CRINGY tv show on Netflix - Uncoupled.

HRC

Well I have to say I identify with a fair few of the responses here.

But I do love iced coffee. Just dont make me listen to divas or musicals or opera while I'm drinking it. I'll drink my iced coffee to Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd or Motorhead thank you

Gay sex

R340 - Hillary Rodham Clinton?

The worship and adulation of hetero women.

The whole bitchy queen thing.

Drag.

Leather.

Fetishes in general.

And of course, assholes like R333 who claim anyone not into any of that stuff is homophobic, as if that stuff is integral to the "being homosexual". It's totally not. It's almost all a complete affectation.

I've never had a straight person threaten to "take away my gay card" for not sufficiently conforming to every gay stereotype. And no I don't conform to heterosexual stereotypes either (I'm a guy who cannot stand team sports as just one example).

Diva stans. Admittedly I am a bit of one myself, but I don’t get too upset if my favorite isn’t someone else’s. Here and elsewhere, queens almost come to blows over such things. Or if you say something erroneous about someone’s favorite, they become ultra pedantic and nasty, be it about a birthdate or what Judy was wearing when she recorded a certain album…just stop it!

Guys who build their entire existence around their sex lives.

R346 you need to step down now.

R346, if you think DL is bad, just visit Lipstick Alley or popheads on reddit. It's worse. And you can be a fan of a female artist without being a "stan".

What a stupid waste of time this thread is.

Harnasses are just a form of drag.

Leather fetishes Steroids Obsession with working out and gym bodies

Excessive cuntiness and snark, you're not Regina George OR funny, that persona is just annoying...

[quote] Gay men kissing their male friends on the lips when they randomly run into each other at Starbucks.

[quote] According to early interviews with those afflicted, that was the #1 route of transmission for monkeypox. Every one of them bumped into an old friend on the street, and after a friendly kiss and a quick hug, they were covered in lesions below the belt. Gravity is a real bitch.

r19 This piece of self-hating pap got 20 likes?

No, that's not the #1 transmission rate for monkeypox. Stop spreading disinformation. Sure, and you get AIDS from fag's tears.

Referring to other gay males with a woman's name, like the infamous Mary. It's self-hating and weak.

Drooling over fucking pig assholes like Reno Gold, Tony Goodfellow, and Ace Carter.

Oh yeah, and drooling over blond boys as if they're the aesthetic pinnacle.

R350 Actually I like this thread. I relate to so much of this. I've always danced to the beat of my own drum and find most "gay culture" is not for me. I tried for years to fit into that world. Lived in the gayborhoods of NYC and Chicago. Had a wide circle of gay male friends, went to the right bars, the gay vacation hotspots, the "A" gay fund raisers, worked out a lot more, had sex with random people and tried to like the music. But I never fit in. Fast forward 15 years and I live in a small city with my partner and our dog and have lots of different kinds of friends. I do love the wit and creativity that is so abundant with my gay friends. I treasure that,

[quote] Fast forward 15 years and I live in a small city with my partner and our dog and have lots of different kinds of friends.

This is…..extremely usual and normal for a gay man? Are you claiming uniqueness because….you have a partner and a dog and you live upstate? 😂😂😂

Modern gay themed movies and TV shows.

1. 95% are set in NYC, Los Angeles, San Francisco or Miami.

2. All the men are handsome with great bodies.

3. All men have successful careers and money.

4. All men have beautiful houses and apartments.

5. Mostly, men are single and are looking for love.

6. A straight couple who are close friends.

7. The obligatory woman who hangs out with gays.

8. There are no old people, no ugly people, no fat people (except female friends), no poor people, no handicapped people.

9. A man finds love with another man who is exactly like himself. They live happily ever after.

[quote] Harnasses are just a form of drag.

r351 Agreed. Nothing as cringe as flaunting bottom culture. The Castro Street clones in leather were always the biggest ladies.

R358 I don't claim uniqueness . I said I march to the beat of my own drum as compared to popular gay culture. My old crowd is still doing that same stuff in NYC and CHI, it's just not for me. I don't know what upstate you are referring to. I don't live in upstate or anywhere near NYC or Chicago. Thank God.

I don't begrudge most gay men their pleasures and passions, but I just don't get most of it. I can't imagine spending valuable time on anything Andy Cohen related, and a little RPDR goes a long, long way.

I've learned over the years that a shared interest in cock does not necessarily equate to shared interests in other areas.

R359 You're not wrong, but that's also most straight couple love stories as well.

Switch out "two men that look alike" with "girl finds a guy who looks like he could be her brother" and it's pretty much the same.

[quote] I said I march to the beat of my own drum as compared to popular gay culture.

Oh please R361. Claiming you’re distinct from “popular gay culture” is in itself a form of popular gay culture. You’re here…on a gay site, agreeing with another 100+ gay men that none of you ‘really fit it’ or ‘are interested in gay music and drag’. This kind of faux outsider thing (as a form of doing the kind of “I’m not like other girls” phenomenon (google it)) has always been a kind of piece in the puzzle of gay culture itself.

Drag.

FAAABBULOUSSS!

YAAASSSS-Queens

Obsession with fashion and divas.

Any of that over-the-top, attention-whoring, sing-songy stuff. Can't relate to it at all. And a little goes a long way (it gets grating really quickly).

But mostly, the bitchy-cattiness. Like, we have the whole world being shitty to us, why are we being so shitty to each other.

Why you people are so obnoxious about my simple declaration of my personal truth.

My partner.

He can go fuck himself.

Drag queens

Being categorized with trans

Harnesses are "things about gay life"?? Op, it sounds like you're getting your ideas of "gay life" from Ben Shapiro.

Some straight people wear harnesses too, just sas some gay people do. And in neither case is it something that most gays nor most straights do.

[quote]Harnasses are just a form of drag

Putting on a harness is a form of dressing like someone of the opposite sex?

Drag isn't just about dressing like the opposite sex, R370. It's about putting on a "costume".

Tuesday with my pussy

Fisting and foot fucking my rosebud

Log Cabin Republicants

Amen, R374. Amen.

Extreme gay voice like Jonathan Van Ness. He overdoes it.

Bump...

Bump...

Bump.

Doing all those bumps.

Bump...

I don't want to do the bump with no big fat woman.

[quote] Drag queens Being categorized with trans

r368 Oh c'mon drag is trans lite and we all know it!

R364 Sorry you aren't special and are clearly miserable with whatever life you have. I love my life. It may not adhere to your clearly defined labels. We do our own thing. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Now run along. Surely you are needed elsewhere.

Being called Queer!

No Bitch, I am a "DGWM" divorced Gay white man, not Queer. You keep that up and I'm gonna have to punch you in the brain.

Musical theatre

Divas

Drag

Fag hags

Women-centered comedies and dramas

Kitsch taste

Excessive attention to pop culture

Highly mannered forms of dress and speech

The incessant, never-ending, continuous nipple-tweaking some people seem to be into. They then want you to fondle their nipples non-stop. It's exhausting, and at some point, it feels ridiculous.

The harnesses suggest someone just heroically parachuted into the party

I'm the provincial aging gay man who has enjoyed three decades of extremely vanilla sex and frottage, who can't possibly fathom the "function" of even the most innocuous and obvious sexual fetish gear, let alone countenance that it might be fleetingly exciting, fun, or enjoyable.

R384 girl you’re about as special as every other loser here whinging about harnesses lol.

I guess we don't all need two fists up our assholes to feel something.

By all means, getting off via a silly fetish leads quickly and inevitably to double fisting, colon perforations, and adult diapers.

The fact that so many gay men stubbornly insist on behaving and speaking like stupid, cuntish 14-year-old mean girls and look down on anyone who doesn't, because they think that this makes them funny, sophisticated and fabulous. Sadly, they seem to be too immature, unintelligent and lacking in self-awareness to realize that it just makes them pathetic grown men who choose to go about life behaving like insufferable little bitches.

The fact that just as many gay men will accuse any gay man who is effeminate of being a disgusting freak that is to blame for homophobia (in spite of the fact that they are themselves just a couple of semitones away from sounding like Cyndi Lauper), only to then turn around and accuse any gay man who is naturally masculine of being self-hating, deeply closeted and engaging in performative toxic masculinity.

The fact that many gay men will angrily complain about how shallow, hostile and isolating mainstream gay culture is, but will then engage in the sort of cliquey, transactional, exploitative, pathologically superficial behaviour that they constantly denounce. They are the same gay men who will loudly complain about the fact that extremely hot guys are not nice to them and won't fuck them, but will then turn around and be downright evil to anyone they consider to be less than a 9 - all of this in spite of the fact that they themselves are 6s at best.

Anal sex, giving or receiving.

The admiration for Gay4Payers. And even worse that they admire the fact they bang men but still want to shove to your faces that they are still "straight" men by getting married or having kids. Pathetic.

R350, You whine about what a stupid thread this is yet you drag it back into circulation from October of 2022 where it had died a quiet death.

You're an ass but you already know this.

Grease fires were created with you in mind.

[quote]The incessant, never-ending, continuous nipple-tweaking some people seem to be into. They then want you to fondle their nipples non-stop. It's exhausting, and at some point, it feels ridiculous.

R387 Some guys are wired up with extremely sensitive nipples, a few can actually come just from nipple play. Myself I got the poverty pack nipples, they arent even connected, but for those that got the Premium deluxe nipples I am quite happy to oblige them, it makes it easier for me to get them off so its a win win as far as I'm concerned

[quote]Myself I got the poverty pack nipples, they arent even connected

Ditto. I can't say it does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for me, but it does so little it's not really worth it. It might feel okay for a few seconds, but after that it's just boring.

R45- You go GURL

R31 [qoute]I had one gay friend about 20 years ago. (43)

That's one of the saddest things I've read on DL in a long time.

That cunty attitude that gay men often adopt, thinking that it's clever and funny, when it's actually just obnoxious most of the time.

…accompanied by one of those Karen haircuts. “Look at me, you WILL listen to me!”

Drag queens. They are just so cringy. Drag is also so incredibly tacky and misogynistic.

What kind of asshole bumps a thread from over a year ago on a controversial topic that's full of red tags?

R337- Bears 🐻 are not guys who carry a few extra pounds. They’re almost always MORBIDLY obese. I was in Provincetown during Bear Week ( I did not know it was Bear week when I made a reservation at the motel I stayed at.) Very few of the 100’s of bears I saw were hairy unless having facial hair constitutes hairy. What most of them had in common was their varying levels of obesity. Not all of the so called bears there were even overweight some were just naturally husky or big boned but many were very overweight.

That perfectly describes the outfit Richard Simmons wore when he was in public. I still miss him ( even though I never met him nor was ever on any of his diet plans.

Bears = DL Fat Whores.

Slapping faces viciously all the time

Yassss Kweens.

Daily rituals that conflict with my daily rituals. Yes, you wear jewelry and clean it each evening. Yes, you have four different creams. Yes, you don’t even vape any more and you can smell the marlboro on me.

There’s a reason why you have to keep your own apartment.