Seeking Job-Seeking Advice

The CEO and CFO both have changed rules recently in ways that affect me. I still have to travel to board meetings as the only non-executive who does this and participate in work with them. I have been disinvited from dinners, social events for "team building" and from informal executive meetings I used to participate in. From day one a decade and a half ago, I had purchasing power because my position involves having to buy a lot. The CFO has mandated now only executives have access to credit cards and can authorize agreements—leavinng evrerything the same for all but me and one coworker. Now we have to jump through hoops to get various things done that used to be simple. This has become time consuming and I am busier than ever because I am orienting my boss and collaborating with them while doing my own work with new hurdles.

I've specifically asked the CEO if I should take this personally. They say no and that I am "invaluable" and "indispensable" and that they are just setting systems and policies in place that always should have been in place. I confronted my new boss and laid all this out and told them I feel I am being edged out and asked if I should be looking for a new job. They freaked out and said "absolutely not!" and told me as far as they've seen in a short time, my work is exceptional and they want me to stick around for as long as I am willing to do so.

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In theory, I had the opportunity to apply for the position held by my new boss, but I don't believe that that was a real opportunity. A coworker told me the CEO told them to apply for the position, strongly implying he had them in mind for it. I mentioned it to the CEO and the CEO told me he expected me to apply for it, too. Then he told another coworker the same. And then, in front of a couple of people, the CEO told the first one again that if they applied for it, they'd get it. Our collective read was that he was pitting us against one another to build bad blood, and our collective read was that he intended to give the position to one person (not me). All of us decided not to apply for it in part because of that. Notably, it was *the day after* I initially brought this up to the then-new CEO and he told me to apply for the position that he told me "we have too many white men here."

Clearly, the writing is on the wall. I am treated differently in a negative way. I am either working above my level or recognized and compensated below my level.

I've applied for a hell of a lot of jobs and I generally don't even get a reply.

Some challenges as I see them are that 1) I've been at this job for a long time and many employers see that as a liability, and I was at my prior job for nearly as long; 2) it's challenging to specifically quantify my accomplishments, which I understand is necessary for a resume. Of late, I have become better than ever at bringing in new business/funding and I can quantify this, but it seems adding this to my cover letter and resume has made no real difference in getting responses to job apps. My degrees (master's and BA) are nothing special in this town. I don't know how to get a prospective employer's attention.

I had a phone interview last year with a head hunter who found me, and they wanted to do a second interview but I declined because I was intimidated and it sounded like I'd probably be getting in over my head. The job was 100 percent remote with a startup, managing about a dozen people remotely, with high expectations for growth. I think I am glad I passed on it because it seemed like it would have been a very high-pressured job, but I do wonder if I have become rather complacent, and I know that is one of the reasons employers don't like people who've been at a job for many years.

Would a career coach help?

Or a headhunting firm? I've looked around and the headhunting firms I see all appear to specialize in CEO/COO/CFO-level jobs or else low-level administrative jobs.

A year ago, I was deeply caught in my feelings about all this. I'm more emotionally removed now and I feel like having ruminated on this for so long, and given recent developments, I can more objectively accept that yes, I am being marginalized and treated unfairly, but as of now, my feelings aren't hurt. (I do have some resentment, but I am neither emotionally agitated nor sad about it.) I just need to be in a better place.

The end, finally.

Check out the head hunting firms anyway. They can probably provide career coaching and resume help as well. Plus it's probably cheaper than a career coach since they make commission if they place you.

Hi OP. FWIW, I think it's definitely worth getting a career counsellor because it sounds as if you are going around in circles and not getting anywhere. You didn't mention your age, but I'm pretty sure it's 50+ and as I'm sure you know, that will work against you being hired, depending on your field. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. From what you have written, it sounds as if you might be let go if a better candidate came along, ie, a WOC.

Good luck and do check back.

R3 Oh, thanks. I had no idea career coaches take a commission when you get a job. That seems kind of fucked up.

Thank you, too, for reading what I wrote and not trolling me.

R4 Yeah, I am not confident that that isn't the case. The irony is that since the CEO told me the "too many white men" thing, they have hired all white people for all high-level jobs but they have hired all people of color for lower-level jobs.

R4 I'm not 50 yet but it's not *that* far away in the horizon.

Okay ... former head manager of 300 employee company. First, many of the things that are said off the cuff by managers can sound worse than they intend. Many companies are going through diversity, equity and inclusion discussions and sometimes they aren't phrased in a way that makes white men comfortable. If you feel comfortable talking with your manager, then just say, one-on-one, "you made a statement about too many white men, did you mean anything more than just an observation by that?"

Have you considered the possibility that the CFO is a control freak (as almost all of them are -- they almost always think they should be in charge)? Then, the changes being made are more about that person and their issues and less a reflection on you. Their favorite targets are usually the buyer because everyone circumvents the management system by going directly to the buyer and controls get out of whack. Also, control freaks don't like other people making decisions.

I would start working on your own insecurities. I don't mean to be hurtful. Sometimes, we are sensitive. So we hear things that aren't meant. Alternatively, all these rather mild messages could mean that you are viewed as unhappy. That may be how your sensitivity manifests. Again, you asked.

Oh, it's not *that* relevant to the big picture, but the straw that is breaking this camel's back is that while I really like the new VP a lot so far overall, in recent weeks, they have taken to claiming they have "computer issues" and emailing me documents and telling me to print and bring them over, or to print them out to hand out at staff meetings, and to run over, no matter what I am working on, at a moment's notice and plug in USB plugs for various equipment because they claim not to understand how to do it. (It is literally always a USB plug.) So in addition to having VP-level responsibilities and workload and hours, I am now also functioning as an entry-level personal assistant, and I feel I am getting a glimpse of someone with passive-aggressive, needy tendencies that have been on good behavior because they are new.

Again, that's not relevant to the much greater overall career concern, but it feels like adding insult to injury. I'm too old to be treated like the do-all gay assistant.

R8

1. Yes, I confronted the CEO about the comment, and I also told the HR director about the comment, and I told various other people about the comment. I did this knowing there is some risk in doing so, but I did it as a means of self-protection because it was a foolish thing for the CEO to have said. They claimed they were just "thinking out loud." That's the only defense they gave.

2. Yes, the CFO is a control freak. And I have had the conversation with myself several times and told myself that this is not personal; it's a financial security and cost-cutting issue. The CFO has issued other mandates organizationwide. You are correct.

Within my headspace, though, there is a cumulative effect I can't deny that I am functionally expected to deliver at the same level as people who are paid more than I am and given greater recognition than I am. It stings more now that I habe to go through multiple layers of approval, which makes me feel less trusted even if that is not true, to accomplish things when my job is more than a full time job already. I used to be able to get what I need and keep working. Now I have to tell my new boss I need something, explain why, wait for them to talk to the CFO, then give the CFO information about what to buy, where to buy it, my account information and the financial coding. This adds considerable time to my work and it disrupts my focus. I have been doing this job for well over 10 years and every passing year has added more and more work. These new disruptive policies are being implemented with no consideration to my abundance of work. And, I will add just out of frustration, the CFO is out of the office a good 60 percent of the time and is extremely slow to respond, so typically I have to wait a week for any given approval. I have a new employee who was on the job for almost two weeks before they were able to get software they need to do their basic job duties because of this new approval process and the CFO's personal travel schedule.

3. I am a very sensitive person and an insecure person, at times bordering on paranoid. I address this in therapy and I've made progress. The reason I directly confronted my new boss about where I stand was to clear the air of my insecurities, and I confessed about this aspect of my personality (yes, likely TMI) and they told me they are similar and appreciate the candid questions and openness, and they promised never to bullshit me and never to withhold criticism when it's due, and assured me they do not have a single criticism of me as of now and want me to stick around as long as I want to stick around, for a decade or longer than that. I think we have a good rapport overall, and that is why I went into such detail about feeling like the insecurity/paranoia/anger have more or less blown over (with lingering resentment) and I feel at this time like my focus should be on trying to find a new placement where I don't have this precedent of being for all intents and purposes a vice president who will never be recognized or paid as a vice president while others are.

OP, I am a 58 year old white man looking for work. I am very good at what I do. I'm about as welcome as ants at a picnic. After a year, I've given up. I am planning to sell my house, move somewhere cheaper, do all the shit you do when the bottom falls out ahead of schedule. So my big advice is if you're in your fifties and you are white and male, protect your income as much as you can, as galling as it might be. Quiet quit if you have to (Google it.) But do not wind up on the street. I have been flat out told by headhunters that employers are telling HR and search firms: no white men. It's dreadful but it's the reality and you can't fight it. I have also found that late it life it is very difficult to convince people you can career change - unless you do it person. So if you want a new career, you're going to have to do that in person.

Worst case scenario: they dump you. If someone hasn't said it, document everything. Print emails, whatever you can. If you get canned somehow, it will be useful to demonstrate what you're asserting - diminished role, change of duties - you may have grounds for constructive dismissal (or an argument of it) that help you with an exit package. And find some friends in HR and find out which employment lawyers they fear. That's who you'd want to hire.

Now, assuming that's not likely or a risk, update your LinkedIn. Google LinkedIn algorithm and follow the advice. It's about more than just putting your credentials on the site. This especially applies to self-selecting skills and strengths hashtags. Also, go through your LinkedIn contacts. Grow them if you have to. You probably know a ton of people you could link with that you just haven't. Then consider the the key value to the organization of the work that you do and get references from people, ideally people who's job titles look impressive, for posting on LinkedIn. Offer to write or draft them to ease the burden. If you don't have any heavy hitter titles in your ranks, take what you can get.

Update your resume. It may be worth paying a resume writer to do it for you, rather than the couple of thousands a career coach will cost you.

Don't count on job ads. As I said, I am a highly qualified individual with significant experience. Fuck all from submitting to job ads. Don't ignore them, but don't waste a ton of time prepping for them or waiting on replies. (You might look for keywords in the job description and make sure your resume includes them. That's as much time as I'd spend.)

Send your resume to search firms. They all take them. Let them rule you in or rule your out.

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Then start networking. Go through your LinkedIn contacts (and your phone and your email) and identify who you think you can count on, who might help, and who won't. Approach the smartest and most successful and say (in your own words) you're smart and successful and I'd like your advice on how to find my next role. Have focused questions for them. Always have an ask. Always have a purpose. Always ask for one more person they can refer you to to talk to (you don't have to do it on the phone or at the coffee, but a live body is right in front of you so you may as well try.) Those people will be harder to connect with. Ideally the referrer will connect with the referral to introduce you. It will still be hard. People are busy. And when they aren't, they think they are. Smile, say this is really important to you so you're pushing hard and are really grateful for their time and help. Truth is, most people I think are willing to help, but you gotta make it easy for them.

Stuff like this is the "full time job of finding a new job". It isn't really but it requires persistence and flattery. Keep people posted on your progress - with your thanks. Keep yourself top of mind.

Am I doing any of this? No. I'm a 58 year old white man. I might as well be dead in this market. But maybe there's some hope for you. I wish you well and good luck.

One more thing - if you think it won't come with risk, why not contemplate a three or six month sabbatical, if your company will go for it. It will help you maybe recharge and get perspective. You may find you can stick with it. You may find they come to appreciate you when you're gone (but coming back.) Then you can focus more energy on your search. I should have done that rather than negotiating an exit. Live and learn.

I hope this helps. I hope it gets me some karma. It is a hard thing to be forced onto the scrap heap but it's done for me.

R8 here. Unless you can come to some peace within yourself about the apparent inequities, then you should probably try and find another job with a boss who is more user-friendly for you. Sometimes, we just simply don't get each other. What I hear a lot of in your posts is a need to be heard and understood. We get that from our personal lives and our partners/SOs. Don't expect to get any of that from your professional life. If you like the work, are good at it, and others appreciate you, there's not much more that you can ask for.