Bitchy phrases that sound nice but aren't

Bless your heart

You're too kind

Sorry you feel that way

Daring of you to wear that outfit

Thanks in advance

If you lost some weight you'd be HOT.

The workplace is full of verbal cuntery like this:

Just so you know! = I'm neither boss nor trainer, but I'm about to tell you how *I* like things done!

In the future... = I'm going to nag you about this again!

You have such unique energy! = Are you on the cocaine? Seriously, are you?

Please advise (in email) = What the FUCK am I supposed to do here?!?!?

Per my previous email... = Bitch, I already told you once!

A lot of us feel... = Let's pretend everyone is as bitchy as I am!

more business-like than nice, but we all know what "As per your last email..." means.

Lots of people are saying it

I love how you tell it like it is!

Translation: You're a ballsy old cunt, and I can't wait until they fire you for mouthing off again.

'How are you still single?'

“You look great for your age!”

That's nice...

Keep me posted.

She has a pretty face and a great personality...

RUN!! 😳

Good choice.

So slimming.

No one will notice.

"Is this your first baby?"

“It’s nice to be seen.”

— In response to someone saying “It’s nice to see you.”

"To be perfectly honest..."

Ruh-roh, you're going to get it now

"I don't care what anyone else says, I think you're really nice."

Difficult color green.

You do you.

You made it!

Let’s do lunch.

"They said you weren't fit to eat with pigs, and I defended you and said you were!"

"You dress cute for a fat girl!"

Wow, that's so interesting! (Wow, that's so fucking stupid!)

Good effort.

R23 Is your sister still fat?

Most Improved

^ I won Miss Congeniality, which is weird because I don't really like people

Good luck with that.

“Please and thank you” is the ultimate cunty phrase. Typically used by women.

“Get me a soda with some ice in it. Please and thank you.”

"You sweat a lot for a British Prince"

I'm telling you now, so I don't have to tell you then.

That’s the best she’s ever looked.

Great pins!

Pleased to meet you, I’m sure.

Would you like another serving of my quiche?

No thanks. I couldn’t eat another bite! (Your cooking sucks ass).

I love it when an English/Scots person ends a ludicrous statement with "...if you please."

"Andy Murray gave his daughter the least Scottish-sounding name ever: Sophia. And not just Sophia. But Sophia Olivia, if you please!"

Tasteful way of saying "Can you believe this shite?"

"Oh dear..."

What a remarkable woman.

I’ll pray for you!

You’re just so…festive!

-- Best of luck in your future endeavors. I know you'll do fine.

-- So wonderful to see you again. We must have lunch together, sometime.

-- Of course it doesn't bother me that you . . .

"You do you, it doesnt matter what I feel, if you like it then go ahead"

"I could never wear that, but on you it could totally work".

Really? Well, God bless you! (Really? Well, you be stupid and do that!)

"Wow, you've lost a lot of weight..?!!"

"You're thinner than I expected."

With all due respect...

IOW, fuck you.

A thing like that!

Sorry, should be “Patxi”

We’ll definitely keep you in mind!

We so appreciate you coming in!

Let's stay in touch!

These are wonderful! I'm going to memorize them all and use them. I'm tired of using Nice! all the time when I'm underwhelmed.

“You’re living your best life!”

I'm so glad for you.

You two make such a perfect.

Of course I'll be happy to . . .

Love the sinner, hate the sin.

We wish her well!

You look good tonight

Bless you.

OMG that’s hilarious.

Aren’t ya gonna eat me???

How about more of my famous southern style casserole??

Oh no, it’s a little bit too rich for me. Hee hee.

Translates to - I’ve had my gut-full of that dog shit.

R62, see also "Can I get the recipe?"

I had a genuine Southern Belle relative who, when confronted with something weird, bizarre, or not to her (excellent) taste, would say with a smile, "Well, that's INTERESTING!"

Yes, that’s weak-assed passive aggression r64.

My sister— also a real southern belle— is a champion at passive aggression and she would sneer at such lame efforts.

“Oh really, what do you find interesting about it? Why don’t you tell us more? It sounds like you know an awful lot about it!”

This thread is revealing. I have friend from university whose language changed a couple of decades ago in the midst of divorcing and becoming ambitious in non-profit circles.

I was aware that she used a handful of these and that they had begun to edge out anything thoughtful or substantive or spontaneous. Reading through this list,however, it's clear she has taken up residence on the other side. What used to be a directness and occasional laughing at herself prickliness has been replaced by chockablock backhanded compliments, jabs, and ways of "moving along" with some equivalent of a dismissive, "well...okay then."

“That’s … interesting” is strictly the province of fat, lower-middle-class church ladies.

They all look so pleased with their own cleverness when they whip that one out.

You don’t know whether to slap them or feel sorry for them.

“Nice to meet you”, when we’ve met before.

Pleased to eat your ass.

My, she's a handsome woman!