Matt Rife is the Hottest Comedian

Dreamboat.

Obnoxious.

Go straight to porn. Stand-up comedy is only suitable for sociopaths.

He’s very cocky, talks about how everyone says he is hot. Yet, I like him

Tell us when he goes shirtless.

Will this obnoxious young stud get fat like Dane Cook.

Reminds me of Bodega Bro.

I see that!

No. Just no.

Hard to tell OP. He seems to hide his bod in a loose T-shirt.

Get that shirt off!

Keep us entertained.

Dude is stacked, I'll give him that.

[quote] Dude is stacked

Dude is stained.

We talked extensively about him when he was dating that forty-something British actress that gets all of the good dick. I remember him having lots of shirtless pics online then.

My type

Anyone who does stand up comedy about how good looking they are, is not going to last in that business. Just sayin'.

His days are numbered.

Until he comes up with new material! that's universally relatable.

Bodybuilding can do wonders for a stand-up comic's career!

Naw. Bo Burnham. That's a tall drink of dick. But since I have a crush on him, he'll either destroy himself with plastic surgery or die young.

R15

I agree!

Gen Z appreciates hot people capitalizing on their looks in a way elderly scoffers Don’t

Gen Z also likes TikTok.

That's all that really needs to be said.

I like Gen Z

R18 Self-Obsessed egomania.

None of that monologue shows any wit.

Why would people pay money for that?

Toyboys should keep their mouth shut.

Oh I forgot DL hates hot people who are popular. It’s the knee jerk misery and envious response

[quote] DL hates hot people who are popular

No, we hate hot people who think they're something that they're not. This skinny kid should be doing jerk-off videos.

He’s not skinny nor a kid

He's not funny at all. Interestingly, he cut his teeth doing his routines at black comedy clubs and being on Wild 'N Out. His "humor" is so corny and cringeworthy I don't know how he has survived this long.

Gen Z doesn't go to comedy clubs. No standup who wants to work and get booked is writing material for Gen Z. Millenials and up. It may change, it may not but for right now it's a fact.

R26

Everything in that clip was ugly!

Big lips; skinny thighs.

No hips. No thighs. No buttocks. No wit.

Too cocky

Physically attractive people make lousy stand-ups.

The desperate need to win people over though being funny is a cornerstone of that profession.

Really pretty people never have to learn that skill.

Eh, I like the scrawny, rich, UES, Jewish, Stanford comic Lucas something or other, but I’ll give him a follow.

Boat trip

Can there be a DL bylaws addition that says every tik tok post should be posted to Imgur or the like instead of linking to tik tok. I just can’t / won’t get a tik tok account. That’s where my line has been drawn.

I like Irish comic Dave Nihill, big guy, very funny.

Witch

Old, obvious jokes. Has a gym membership but is otherwise pretty average.

He's hot

Eggs

[quote]Oh I forgot DL hates hot people who are popular. It’s the knee jerk misery and envious response

DL hates EVERYBODY.

I hate hot people. "Hot people" aren't funny. But there are funny people who happen to be hot. It's a rarity. This guy ain't it.

Mark Normand is a funny guy who's "Hot."

Pt 2

R40 = witless and foul-mouthed.

Matt Rife has lips made to suck cock and a body to be worshipped. He’s not super funny but I’d do all I could do to make him cum very very hard.

[quote] body to be worshipped

From the waist up only.

He has sticks for legs.

Mark is hot

I don’t need to duck his legs. Just his dick and nips.

For R46

Comment

Phil Hanley is hotter. And much funnier

Not to me

Fuckable body but his face sometimes looks like a young Barry Manilow.

White dudes

Beauty

Throat

Sexy

Selling it

Tough sell yo make him happen.

Forgettable is not sexy, nor funny.

Seduce

Big boy

Too bad he's not funny.

He reminds me of Dane cook without the moonscape face.

Maybe. He’s pretty popular

Agree R36 -- Nihill is very funny, very cute and his humor is a little smarter than most standups

R36 He's cute and funny. I hope he makes lots of money so he can get his teef fixed.

The burden of the hot comedian

Homies love him

Square jaw

He claims to have been an uggo all his life until a late puberty transformed him into his current looks. I'd like to see the receipts on that. But assuming it's true, does he get a pass for growing up as a normal person? I'm torn.

R68 I seriously doubt this guy was ever ugly.

I think Anthony Jeselnik is way hotter.

Matt actually is fun, especially great at spontaneous humor

This is the weirdest looking guy. He looks like a butch lesbian.

Naw, he’s hot

Not hot.

Phil Hanley is hot.

Matt is known just because he’s hot. It’s the first thing people comment about him, and he knows it

Pretty

Bump

🌊

🐄

🧵

How many homophobic joks has he told?

R36 clip is Hot AF! 🔥

R70 - I love Anthony Jeselnik, but he looked much better without the beard.

Anyway, I find Drew Michael hot (and funny), but I suspect his angry approach is off-putting to most people.

I think he looks better with a beard, R81.

Kate Beckensale’s man

Unbuckle

Everyone loves a really well built stand-up comic!

Boom

Controversy

Quite big tits

Matty Rife is hot as motherfuckin' SHIT.

Indeed

Hmmmm

Facial

Funny, there is a thread on Mateo Lane and people think he is to queeny, but just as hot body-wise as this guy, yet most are tripping over his macho straight guy look how pretty I am routine.

Masculinity matters duh

You people are blind. He is so weird looking and looks plastic.

to queeny -

Oh Dear!

I Oh Deared myself

[quote]R2: Stand-up comedy is only suitable for sociopaths.

R2 = Roseanne = "She would know."

I need a big boy

Mother Rife = OP = Jocasta

Who dat r100?

He’d be great for a remake of the Addam’s Family.

He looks llike the type of guy who would say "okay I will fuck you but I am not gay, just horny."

And gay men would be, “sure papi.”

R91 Ego much?

I agree, r104. That did come off very egomaniacal when I heard it.

But is that snippet out of context?

R93 Mateo Lane isn't a very good comedian, though, and his moustache is awful.

Matt Rife fulfills the hot jock and frat bro fantasy. Matteo does not

R36- the ireland does not seem that woke to be gay

has anyone watched set free on netflix

Rocky Dale Davis

this insufferable bitch is doing stand up now

I like Rob Anderson.

Matt Rife id actually fun. He is great at as lib interactions with the audience

Bump

R112 Who is she? What is she? Besides unfunny.

* If there were more Luke Evanses in acting, perhaps this barrier would erode.

I clicked on one of the flood of Matt Rife youtube links posted here and now get his videos offered to me. I will admit he has some pretty funny one-liners although I don't know that an entire show would be entertaining. He had one that went something like:

[quote]I haven't always looked like this. I was butt ugly until a couple years ago. If I had known I'd look like this, I wouldn't have bothered to develop a personality or be funny. What a waste of time.

R117- wym by that post

R113- i like him too

R116- a hottie who sometimes post fun videos

R112 Ugh yeah he's a dickhead. He had a few funny gay scientist videos, but is scraping the barrel now.

Bump

Halloween 🎃

I like Andrew Santino. Handsome, good comedy, gay friendly.

Thanks R113 i didn't know about Rob Anderson. Love him, and easy on the eyes to boot!

I find his face to be extremely feminine. It’s a turn-off.

Rife has one of those faces where, at certain angles, he looks absolutely stunning, and at others, he looks freakishly weird.

R125 he's a complete fraud, cheater, harasses club staff, total piece of shit who everyone hates and talks shit about in the scene. braggart. pathological liar.

He's masculine pretty

All the clips of him I've seen are audience interaction bits where he calls the male audience members "DAWG!" And handsome as he is, if you look closely you can see he has traces of a chinless shmoo face.

Matt Rife had a ton of work done on his face. It’s money well spent as he looks nothing like his former self.

R132 That makes sense. His face has an unnatural look to it.

What did he look like before?

[quote] Rife has one of those faces where, at certain angles, he looks absolutely stunning, and at others, he looks freakishly weird.

It's the lighting.

'Course you can't depend on that light.

Teefs

Little girls

Controversial

Black adjacent

Boom

Not sure I like his looks. What did look like before?

He looks hot in still photos but in motion he's not too handsome and he does look he's had some weird work done, like - cheekbones. He kind of reminds me of Eric Roberts.

R50 That guy is HOT

He’s hot. Period

His face is a plastic surgery mess.

Look at the even the beginning of two videos I posted R140, R141. You guys really think he's hot? I mean he's sort of cute/charming but that's it (for me).

He’s hot. Move on.

TikTok superstar

His face, smile and teeth are extremely feminine.

His obsession over his own looks is really off-putting.

R146 Okay, conformist gay who needs everyone to think the same.

Looks different here. Is this "before"?

R510 Oh, my God, the guy's had his whole face redone! Cheekbones, nose job, lips, chin implant.

R150 I liked him better before all the work. He had a kind of cute nerdy look about him.

Awwww so cute

Matt's the kind of guy who will continue to mess with his face until he looks like those freakazoid French twins who started out so handsome, then ended up looking like extras in a nuclear fallout movie.

He's not all that funny. I think he's got a gift in that he's good at being spontaneous and riffing off of the audience, but what he says isn't really chuckle worthy.

Build a Bear 🐻

R156 Stop trying to make him happen. He's not that funny.

Agree 100% with r155. He seems like he’d be funny enough to be around in a social setting but that doesn’t make him stand-up worthy.

I don't think all his ad-lib jokes witrh the audience members are real. Some of the people seem like shills. His jokes are too structured. Nobody's that good, ad-libbing.

A lot of comedians are impeccable at extemporaneous comedy. Just watch an assortment of hot comedians on TikTok. They all are lightning quick with the comedic responses. Even Terri Joe is great at it

That may be true of other comedians, and I think I can tell the difference. If you look at the clip at R156 and many other routines of his with audience members, there are too many convenient lines, or in the case of the clip - the prop. I doubt he came up the blow job line off the top of his head, it just seems like he's not even thinking. Even the best comedians will pause and think in order to come up with funny ad-libbed lines, or some of the lines won't land. All of his land and the timing is too good.

He's playing 2 shows tomorrow night in Concord NH (the 2nd one is 21+). Venue seats 1300, both shows are sold out.

He does look like he's had weird work done on his face.

Fight

His attempt at a "blackcent" bothers me.

He's definitely looking a bit plastic. He's not in Oli London territory yet, but give it time...

He looks fine.

Before and after

R167 He was adorable before. Now he just looks weird. Weird looking and not all that funny.

Is anybody gay?

I hate how he laughs at everything he says

R169 Ugh. The "black-cent," the lame gay jokes. This guy is definitely mediocre.

"Black-cent"? Are you saying this guy does black jokes in "dialect"? Is this 1900? Does his put on Al Jolson makeup and white gloves?

R172 Yes, that's what a "black-cent" is. And he might as well put on his Al Jolson makeup, based on that performance.

His Only Fans Stand-Up special is hilarious.

R174 Stop trying to make him happen.

R175 Tf? I stumbled on that comedy special a couple of months ago and personally found it funny. Hence the link in this thread. Ain't nobody trying to make him "happen." Have a seat.

R176 Matt Rife's fangurl, still trying to make Matt Rife happen.

M'kay, r177.

Funny looking is not funny.

Just watched him intro one of his vlogs and he's so botoxed his face is frozen from his mouth up to his eyes.

I saw him a couple of weeks ago in Hollywood. He was pretty funny, and he did try to do some crowd work which he is known for. However, it's hard to hear the audience members in anything bigger than a comedy club.

He's attractive from afar. But getting close up, his nose is huge with cavernous nostrils.

Some people from Ohio have a Southern accent - I knew a couple of people who did, but they were from Southern Ohio. Rife is from outside Columbus. He grew up in a village called North Lewisburg. Population 1,490. 97% white. (Acc. to Wikipedia.)

Of course

Samuel J Comroe is giving white Katt Williams

Nate Jackson

Gay men

I would love to swallow his jizz.

R186 Where was the funny? Where was the joke?

All I heard was a white guy feigning a black accent and pandering to a crowd of drunk people.

Does anyone else not hear the 'black accent'?

I listened to a portion of his special (that the clip is from). He's okay, maybe it's me but some of his humor seems like it was topical 30 years ago, and some of it is pretty cheesy.

R189 His "blackcent" is pretty apparent.

This guy isn't a comedian. He's a frat boy who knows his appeal is purely physical and who thinks saying things like, "That's what I'm talkin' about!" and "Fuck, yeah, you know it!" is stand-up comedy.

R191 Don't get me started. Don't even get me started.

R190 He just sound Midwestern to me.

He looks like an insufferable prisspot, and not my type at all.

He has a twang mixed with urban hip hop accent

R195 Yeah I can sort of hear it, now, but it's just certain words. Maybe I just know other white people (under 40) who accent some words like that so I didn't really notice it. I've looked at some of his intros to his videos and he just sounds like he's middle-American in those things.

I think he's kind of cute, his body is great, but he's defintiely botoxed and sort of weird looking in the face.

Probably from being on Wild n Out with Nick Cannon. After listening to that mush mouth you lose brain cells.

Love him!

I gotta get to his show

Saw this tweet:

Matt Rife definitely has Botox injections. Just an observation

Still hot

More!

Does he have nice pits?

R198 obnoxious.

R203 I'm sure those have been reconstructed, too.

R198 Again, where's the comedy? Where's the funny?

Yes, I couldn't see any wit in that R198. The audience supplied all the material.

Edna Everage uses her audience to supply material but she gives more than Mr Rife.

This guy seriously makes Dane Cook seem funny.

I just watched his special on Amazon and did not laugh once. In fact it made me angry that someone so unfunny would get a platform like this. How did he fail upwards like this? It’s not because of his looks because he’s ugly. He comes out looking like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo and starts off with a pool shrinkage joke. What is this, 1998? Plus he keeps throwing his head back and laughing at himself like he just said the most hilarious thing. So fake.

And don’t get be started on his pit stains. Get a better antiperspirant.

His jokes are not intelligent at all. Very sophomoric and obvious jokes. People who break through to the big time often have great sets that say something, not just high school level fart jokes.

He has a whole segment how good-looking he is and how hard it is to be this beautiful. I thought he was being ironic, like how Kathy Griffin says she’s the most beautiful girl at her school, but this fucker was being totally serious.

Comedy doesn’t work like that. You have to be self-deprecating and endearing so people will cheer for you instead of being an ego maniac where people will wish a downfall.

Pass. I can do better than this fug. He isn't even funny.

R207 Matt should watch hours of tapes of Dame Edna to learn how to riff of the audience and create actual comedy.

R198 He starts out all "pro gay," the ends his stupid monologue with tired old homophobic butt fucking jokes.

[quote] He has a whole segment how good-looking he is and how hard it is to be this beautiful. I thought he was being ironic, like how Kathy Griffin says she’s the most beautiful girl at her school, but this fucker was being totally serious.

It would work if he was honest about his plastic surgery and admitted that before he had work done, he was average at best. He's not ironic enough to give his comedy any edge. He's too much of a jockbro.

Sexy AF

OP has never seen Anthony Jeselnik, Mike Birbiglia, Demetri Martin, Bo Burnham, Kevin Hart, Greg Giraldo, Mitch Hedberg, Dane Cook, Jay Mohr, Henry Rollins, Jim Jeffries, John Oliver, Hayes MacArthur, Theo Von, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Chris Distefano, Andrew Santino, Brian Regan, Joe Rogan, Colin Quinn, Jeff Foxworthy, Nick Mullen, T.J. Miller, Jack Whitehall, Seth Meyers, Joel McHale, Deon Cole, Stephen Rannazzisi, Trevor Noah, Bryan Callen, Bowen Yang, Dave Ross, Whitmer Thomas, Adam Cayton-Holland, Daniel Tosh, and Chris D'Elia to name a few. All of them are much hotter that what's his face.

Hell, I wouldn't fuck Matt Rife with Wanda Sykes' dick.

[quote]All of them are much hotter that what's his face.

Not according to Matt. His entire act is about how unbelievably good-looking he is. He keeps circling his face and says “You we’re not expecting THIS, right?”

[QUOTE] This guy seriously makes Dane Cook seem funny.

Come on, now. He’s not THAT bad.

The body may be hot, but that face is strange. Looks like lots of plastic surgery.

Rory Scovel: Funny as fuck. Smart. Weird. Cute as hell. Not full of himself.

Rory Scovel: The total package.

Now that Rory fellow, he's the cat's meow!

I'd jump his bones in a New York second.

R222 / R223 check out the Netflix special "Rory Scovel Tries Stand-Up for the First Time." It's laugh-out-loud hysterically funny from beginning to end. The first fifteen minutes of the set is the fucking weirdest, funniest start to a stand-up show I've ever come across. It's a delicious, fucked-up treat.

Here's another great watch at the link, too. An hour-long doc about a Rory Scovel five-night residency in Atlanta where every night's set was improvised. He. Is. Adorable.

Lachlan Patterson is hot. Matt Rife is not hot.

Matt is my type bro

What's that, R226? He's got a pulse and he is breathing?

Love his physique

Weed

Does he have Onlyfans?

Not interested if he doesn't have one

Nevermind, just a twunk, not interested!

Stop dudes

Is r232 Matt ride?

His whole "Gay?" exchanges aren't funny. They seem to be based around lazy stereotypes. And I know people who enjoy his comedy would say "but it's just a joke!" I get that, but it's not funny.

I'm not saying he's offensive, but good comedy needs a bit more intelligence about it, rather than going for the obvious jokes about butt fucking.

I agree, but overall, he’s quite funny

R235 Again, I ask, where is the funny?

Ugly as sin.

lol. OP must be Matt. Butterface.

lol. OP must be Butterface Matt.

I seem to recall he looked better before the surgery. But maybe not.

I know some guys who are butt ugly that spend a lot of time in the gym as a way of improving what they've got. (Cause if we're honest, an ugly guy with a great body is a lot more likely to get a fuck than an ugly guy who's fat.) Maybe Matt thought he'd work on both.

Imitation

I like Bill Burr

R241 Oh, this guy has Rife's shitty act down pat.

Shemar Moore

Audience

You just know later that night of R244's clip that Matt was balls deep in Shemar.

humpityhumphump

R244 God, he's fucking annoying.

Shemar is so hot

I hear that Mr. Kate Jackson himself attended one of his shows.

eh he's good looking but overrated. He's fuckable looks-wise because the bar is so low for comedians

his cockiness is a turnoff

from some angles his nose looks weird

not sure how well he'll age. He seems 1 dimensional as a comic so far

Shemar Moore was embarrassing and probably drunk talking how pretty they both are. Maybe he is bi after all?

I do feel for Matt as his father was only 18-19 years older than him and committed suicide when he was a baby so they never knew each other.

His cockiness may be a turnoff for you, but the masses love it, and it’s made him a TikTok superstar, along with his looks

R252 "The masses," as in frat dudes, sorority chicks, and 30-something drunk girls who get drunk with their friends on a Friday night.

Couple

R254 Again, where's the comedy? Where's the funny?

Hell, yeah!

R256 It looks like he just had another facial procedure. His face is tighter than a Beverly Hills housewife and his lips are blown up like Kimberly Gargoyle.

Hot body, butter face.

Hot

Max Eddy

Has he had face feminization surgery? Eek.

For R230

Stud

Matt Rife doesn't exist! He's an AI creation.

R263 If he was an AI creation, he'd have been made to actually be funny.

R259 He's not funny, either.

He’s fine

Zendaya

Trans

What is up with the lip injections?

He does look like he's had facial feminization surgery.

I clicked on OP's post 3x and got Tik Tok commercials.

So, I googled "Matt Rife."

What a waste of one minute, 20 seconds.

You suck OP.

More!

R267 He was much cuter before all the plastic surgery. Still not funny, though.

Comedy is overflowing with mediocre white guys who think they are God's gift to comedy and who work the podcast and tour circuits with tired material.

The really innovators in American comedy who have moved the medium forward across tv, film, and live shows have always been black, Jewish, and gay people who observe this absurd world and report back.

Rife is not a revelation. He's more of the same mediocrity. He never had to hone his craft into something truly fresh and new because he found a workable formula that plays off his hot body (say what you will of his heavy facial features) and he's capitalizing off that. The only people who like him are those who want to have sex with him.

Somebody is a hater 😏🙄

R274. No. It's just that Matt Rife isn't funny.

I was talking to a guy I work with who's an aspiring comedian and who knows Matt Rife.

This guy told me what Rife really wants is to be an actor, and that's why he's had so much cosmetic surgery; he wants to look "movie star ready." He does standup hoping to get discovered, but it's really not what he likes or is good at. This guy also told me Rife rarely prepares material before his shows, choosing instead to riff of the audiences he performs for.