How to Sober Up Quickly

Make yourself throw up.

R1 I'm too pooped to do that Karen

Listen to Magats talk for 1 minute.

R3 Then just poop.

Have you tried a cold shower, OP?

R5 no. That's a good idea.

Stop drinking and doing drugs rather immediately. Then go for a bracing walk.

You can't, OP.

Alcohol is a poison. You have one mouth to bring this poison into your body and you have three places to excrete this poison from your body.

If you need to sober up quickly, it's already too late.

Slap yourself viciously and repeatedly about the head and shoulders

Just get yourself and your grifter wife back on a plane to Montecito. By the time you get there, Harry, you'll be completely sober.

Throw up would be the best way. I guess anything that would increase your metabolism, generally, would help.

A bump or two of the white stuff will sort you right out.

If you’re drunk, then like r13 said. Coke, speed, diet pill, adderall…

If you’re trying to come down from those above, have a cocktail & a xanax

Get pulled over by a cop

Narcan!

Quit drinking , DUHHHHH

Espresso martini

A chicken sandwich and a 1/2 sprite 1/2 lemonade.

What’s the rush?

I don't think you can. Sleep it off.

No such thing as sobering up quickly- when you drink a lot an enzyme system in your liver metabolizes then alcohol. Happens faster usually in those who drink a lot frequently. But then you’re talking of alcoholism.

Food, caffeine. Make sure you don't smell of booze too.

A big greasy cheeseburger. It might not sober you up, but it sounds delicious right now.

Slap yourself viciously and drink something with caffeine and eat a pinch of salt.

Lots of water, BC powder

I don't know about using cocaine after the fact. If you use cocaine while drinking, it does help you to not feel so drunk, but I don't know if it can sober you up after the fact.

Punch yourself in the dick, repeatedly.

Sorry, what was the question?

Treat yourself to the Bea Arthur edition of Hustler magazine.

Cocaine, darling.

Also, alcohol makes you not care about mistakes so make sure that you focus hard. Don't want to be sloppy.

Eat ass. Lots and lots of ass.