Lewis Capaldi shows off his stretch marks in celebration of going to number one

He's the same shape and tone as my Mum, who's 60, has had three kids (one of them a traumatic birth), doesn't work out, and has severe thyroid issues.

He does resemble a 60 year old woman. Big doughy face and zero muscle tone. His competition is Harry Styles so I guess he just completely opted out.

Lewis Capaldi? I've no idea who that is. The correct name is Lena Dunham, OP -- Lena Dunham.

It's the long hair that bugs me, long hair is so unflattering to men, he looks like a very plain woman.

This just seems like Meat Loaf II.

He has stretch marks everywhere. Even on his arms!

I would rather see him looking fat with stretch marks than skinny and drug addicted looking. At least the marks on his body aren't skid marks.

R5 Meat Loaf was sort of handsome and strong in a strange way, though. Big bones. He may have been fat, but he didn’t seem slovenly or pathetic as runny custard about it (at least, not until late in his life).

Fat is unhealthy and stretch marks are a sign of rapid weight gain. The worst possible. He is not a good role model to anyone.

Brit singers are so hideous.

Lewis Capaldi is the worst one.

I read Capaldi and wondered what UK's national treasure Peter Capaldi is up to now.

Yikes, what is that?

He makes Ed Sheeran look like a hottie.

He stole his video concept from wham club cabana. His he making fun of George Michael.

Meant to type "is"

It is club Tropicana not club cabana. Corrected my error

R10 Mick Jagger would like a word with you.

Jack Grealish is such a generous and charitable slut hottie to give Lewis the time of day on social media.

R12. He's distantly related to that Capaldi, unsurprisingly enough. In interviews, he comes across as likeable enough but his whiny singing and his drab music are utter shite.

Liverpool F.C. trying to come up with a gimmick to shill product for a health food brand:

“I’ve got it! Lewis Capaldi does ‘Undercover Bosses’ with Aldi. And we like to call it, ‘Cap’...’Aldi’?”

“But what’s that got to do with [totally different brand they’re trying to advertise]?”

“🙃Does it have to?”

“*exasperated* Come on...😤😡”

“(beat) Well, if we don’t do it, someone else will😔.”

Having a #1 hit in the UK is like coming in second in the fifth grade sack race.

R22 …Said LMFAO 🙄

I THINK HE’S TREMENDOUS.

He said he booty called Harry Styles? What a slut.

Get thee to a gym, Lewis.

I don't know her.