Dolly Parton Is Now In The Cake Business

My Cak of Many Colors

Oh dear God.

I love her but I bet the bitch hasn't baked a cake in 40 years.

She seems like a nice lady, but no.

This is old news, from back in January. And I've seen some of the product at the discount store in NYC already.

[quote] And I've seen some of the product at the discount store in NYC already.

Did you buy some - because the box & can will be collectors items!

^ I did not. I don't like banana cake. and very doubtful they will be collector's items, as the product is mass-produced and readily available.

[quote] the product is mass-produced and readily available.

Then why is it sold-out at Wal-Mart

^ then why is it already at a discount store?

I will say, the packaging is great.

[quote] the product is mass-produced and readily available.

which is why it will be a collectors item

What businesses isn't she in?

[quote]Southern Style Banana Flavored Cake Mix

I assume by 'Banana Flavored' that there is no need to have actual bananas on hand?

JFC.

R11 actually, if I recall from looking at it once, you do need to add bananas. the recipe is pretty convulted, so it was a no for me.

They're good.

.I made the banana cake and made homemade peanut butter frosting for an Elvis-Dolly special. Everyone at the birthday party I took it to thought it was a hoot, and they devoured the cake. Unclinch, y'all. Srsly.

^ so does it call for real bananas?

^^Yes and no.

To bake the cake, no.

To decorate the cake as pictured on the box, yes.

Here's the recipe. You can see it calls for one ripe banana:

Hold my beer!

OK so you slice a banana on top

I left my cake out in the rain. And I'll never have that recipe again.

You could add a banana to the mix if you're THAT turned on by the idea, r18.

It's a pretty typical cake mix, hon. You don't add a chocolate bar to a chocolate cake mix.... Or does mentioning that bore you to tears? Sorries.

Does it come with a pretty towel in the box?

These products look to be inexpensive but fun for a young family or fans of Parton. I’m off carbs, so not for me, but the branding and design language of the packaging is pretty charming. Parton is a great lady.

So she licensed her name to this mierda for how much?

There’s a whole collection with cake mixes, frosting, a tea towel, a potholder, three recipe cards and a note from Dolly.

why put your name of such CRAP. It's artificially flavored garbage. At least Paul Newman is somewhat real food.

So much better than Tanya Tucker’s cake mix made with gerbil meat and wet rags.

People are so lazy. Banana cake is easily made from scratch…it probably takes the same amount of time.

What does Dolly's note say?

I would tell you what the note said, but then I’d have to kill you.

It said "Madonna's a cunt! She would never bake you a cake!"

"I killed little Andy and his dog too".

R25 Paul Newman brand makes pretty great food, especially their Oil and Vinegar dressing. Plus you get to look at his gorgeous face on the bottle

Dolly's hair looks like creamy frosting on that tub of frosting.

Its on ebay at a ridiculous markup.

[quote] What does Dolly's note say?

R28 It says, "Jolene, I'm done beggin' for you not to take my man. I'm Dolly Fucking Parton. I'm a legend, a global brand, extremely charitable, a goddamn multi-millionaire, and I have a rack that makes men drool more than my new Duncan Hines Dolly Parton's Southern Style Banana Cake."

I tried the Creamy Buttercream on cupcakes earlier this summer. Yum!

[quote]I made the banana cake and made homemade peanut butter frosting for an Elvis-Dolly special.

Ooh, that sounds delicious! I love banana cake, though it's easy for it to morph into banana bread

R28 "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."

I'm allergic to coconut and the part of the South I grew up in did not really feature banana cak.

So I am disinclined to purchase even as a novelty item.

They should come packaged with a free brassiere in every can.

A note 🎵 from Dolly.

Lizzo's line of supersized brownies is coming out next week.

It gives you the runs.

" Banana cake is easily made from scratch…it probably takes the same amount of time."

Bullshit. I've made 100s of cakes. If you prefer to make a cake from scratch, good on you. That's awesome. But there is a lot of measuring, which has to be fairly precise, and there's a lot that can go wrong. You often have to cream butter or whip egg whites. It takes time and skill and practice, and you're never guarenteed results. Cake/pastry baking is among the most challenging and precise of the kitchen arts.

You're just trying to sound refined and snobby.... which is fine, a lot of queens feel that need, but at least stick to the truth.

Just say you prefer to make it yourself.

It should all be in miniature since Dolly won't eat more than half (probably less) of what she is served.

I have that bitch @R19 out zombied by 10 years.

Maybe. Or she could cut herself a small slice with the amount of cake she wants, r45.

She also has a new line of dog clothes and wigs. Grab that dough, girl.

This would be easier to take if the profits were going to some named charity.

Dolly doesn't need anymore money. I see this as a sadly missed opportunity.

Doll donation one million dollar of her own money towards covid research.

I haven't forgotten this gesture because of the concerted effort made the government to suppress accurate information about this infection.

I haven't made the cakes yet, I have only broken into the frostings, Buttercreme, and chocolate on graham crackers. I don't have enough frosting left to put onto the cake.

Doesn't Dolly have enough money? When is it ever enough?

Every time I go in the grocery store, I see Martha Stewart's mug on someone new. ENOUGH!

I looked for her line at Target, its not there

I love Dolly, but this is a weird product for her to shill. Nobody thinks she's at home a-cookin' up a storm, and nobody who's really into home baking and/or Southern cuisine would want to buy a Duncan Hines mix that -ooh! - you can doctor up with pudding mix. What is Dolly, the Dump Cake woman?

The potholder and tea towel are cheap-looking and ugly. Just a disappointing offering from somebody whom I respect but maybe a little less so each time she sells herself more and more as a brand and less as an artist.

R44, this is the banana cake that I make. It’s not time consuming at all, and the measurements don’t need to be precise. I am not big into baking, and it has never failed to turn out well.

Better link…

R55 (etc) that looks like a very tasty recipe. However, it says prep time is about 30 minutes. Prep time to make a cake mix according to the directions on the box is about five minutes. You add eggs, oil, and water then beat it for two minutes, pour into a pan and bake. Then put on frosting that comes out of a can.

Is it as good as homemade? No way. But a box cake requires much less effort and time than a scratch cake - that is just a fact.

R49, in cased you missed the memo, Dolly donates to numerous charities. Including her own Imagination Library, which has donated millions of dollars worth of free books to families. She also still volunteers to read to children in the downtown Nashville Library.

R54, , you clearly don't know Dolly at all. Her fave cake recipe is for the white trash dump cake. She's talked about it for years. She makes it on her tour bus for her crew members.

seriously, is this on your local supermarket shelf within past month? I'm getting pricing all over the map when checking online. Thx

[quote] [R54], , you clearly don't know Dolly at all.

No, I don't know her, and I never claimed to. Are you saying that you do know her? As in personally?

No, twit, at r60. Don't make claims about what someone does or doesn't do, is or isn't like, if you're not familiar with them. Your post contradicts widely known and widely noted facts about this person.

I hate queens who just make up a bunch of shit because they think others here will think they're funny or insightful.

"seriously, is this on your local supermarket shelf within past month? "

Yes. It's not terribly hard to find, but stock has been spotty though; sometimes they don't have it, sometimes just one, sometimes plenty of both boxes. It just varies.

I haven't seen her products in store, but I am looking.

When Dolly's hillbilly town burnt down didn't she buy everybody a new house or something?

Love you, Dolly. But you're too skinny to be in the cake business.

anybody else try her cake?

R56, do you use that much sugar? The recipe calls for over 2 cups, and there's already sweetness from the bananas and the icing.

A People Food Awards winner!

“Flavored” is dead giveaway for “blechhh”. Although Duncan Hines Is the best cake mix.

If you need help going to sleep tonight, I present an unboxing and baking video of the collection including a reading of “the note”.

Jaymes Mansfield bakes a cake.

I’m sure it’s terrible and I’ll never buy it but I love her anyway.

Dolly Parton is now 76 years old. I wonder when she's going to stop trying to look like Dolly Parton.

[quote] I did not. I don't like banana cake. and very doubtful they will be collector's items, as the product is mass-produced and readily available.

Actually, ANY discontinued product has the potential to become a collectors item. Check out eBay and notice how many discontinued items are now selling for. For example, there was a mens hair product line by L'Oreal I used years ago, it's now discontinued and selling for outrageous amounts on eBay and Amazon.

If Dolly's cake line is discontinued, it will become a collector's item.

Agree R74

Does it require water or milk or eggs?

Dolly is from Tennessee where a gal knows what to do with an unexpected handful or mouthful of shit.

It's a regular boxed cake requiring eggs and milk.

I want a few to gift during Christmas, I don't see it in the store.

^^ Just keep looking when you go to the store, r78. Sometimes they have nothing, sometimes they'll have enough to gift everyone you know at $1.89 a box.

The guy at R70 spent $75 for the box plus $12 shipping. WTF?!? Can’t you just buy it at the supermarket for a dollar?

Fat whore weeping!😢 Duncan Hines is sold out of Dolly Parton cake mix!

Buttercream frosting sounds good, but I assume they are going to be the same quality as the regular boxed/canned stuff.

Dolly was impressed when her investment advisors told her how much Patti LaBelle was earning from Walmart where Patti's products are sold and they looked around for a similar deal with Dolly.

Proctor & Gamble, owners of the Duncan Hines cake mix line, agreed to a deal.

I tried Patti's peach cobbler, it was pretty good. But her stuff is in the bakery section, you can be lazy and just buy it already made.

She's probably getting millions for this endorsement.

I thought Dolly preferred pie.

Next up, Reba McEntire instant potatoes.

[quote]Dolly Parton is now 76 years old. I wonder when she's going to stop trying to look like Dolly Parton.

r73 see Mae West

*

Anyway, Dolly needs to do a promotional cover of...

I bought one box of coconut cake mix, one box of banana cake mix, and a can of buttercream frosting. There was also Dolly's Moist Fudge Brownie mix available but I did not purchase that. There are a few differences between Dolly's cake mix and regular mixes. Dolly's basic recipe for banana cake mix calls for 1 c. milk, 4 large eggs, and 1/2 c. melted butter. Regular cake usually requires vegetable oil and 1-2 eggs. I followed the basic recipe. The extra ingredients make Dolly's banana cake moist and buttery. There's nothing special about the buttercream frosting. You could easily make your own. I would give it 7 out of 10.

I haven't made the coconut cake but will report back when I do.

Back in her day I'd like to have licked the bowl

I've tried Dolly's pancake mix and it makes light,fluffy pancakes! Dolly wouldn't put her name on a bullshit product.

How does Duncan Hines get away with calling Dolly's frosting "buttercream" when there is no butter nor cream in this garbage?

Bitch better not be stealing my empire.

And R91, who the hell are you kidding?

She’s out of ready cash?

dolly's chocolate-chip cookies are a bargain and yummy

I can’t imagine how awful artificial banana flavoring is.

Duncan Hines does make the best cake mix though.

Her frozen cheesecake is dreadful!

In my area, you can find all her baking products at discount market Price-Rite (aka 'Save Rite) as well as the 'dollar store' chains. It's all displayed as soon as you walk in - I think they're pushing this for Easter baking season.