Eldergay Friends: What should I be looking for in a relationship?

How flabby are you?

Compatibility is crucial.

Go to therapy, not DL.

R2 what does that mean to you? Compatibility?

5’10 200lbs. I have a belly and no muscles. I do look good in clothes. People don’t realize how fat/out of shape I am.

Get in shape...I was 50 when I met my husband, and we are still going strong at 22 years! We are both athletic and have enough in common, but also quite different in some ways. Believe me, it's possible! PS...I am happier now than ever before.

Find someone who can tolerate the use of insipid abbreviated fake words like "relaysh"

Don't give up hope, OP. There are plenty of men who are attracted to older men, even if you have a few extra pounds. While some may be interested in hooking up with a sugar daddy, some just love older men. After I turned 50 I tried to pass myself off as a young and fit 50 year old. Didn't work. Then, I tried the app Daddy Hunt (daddyhunt.com) and posted a recent picture of myself and found out, after a few dates, that attractive young men are drawn to my old and somewhat flabby body. Who knew?

If you want to get in shape, that might help a little while improving your confidence and overall health, which is a good thing.

[quote]5’10 200lbs. I have a belly and no muscles.

You're quite fat for your height, OP.

[quote]I do look good in clothes. People don’t realize how fat/out of shape I am.

Don't mistake polite silence for ignorance, OP.

OP. Whereabouts in the US are you? We're close in age and stats. Id go for a good looking husbear. 😊

Were you married to the mother of your "kid from previous relaysh"? Kind of weird to refer to your own child as "baggage," but I guess prospective partners would consider kids baggage.

He's a Pittsburgh 8, but a NY 2.

R12. At this point in the game I'm not asking for much. A pulse will do...

love reeks of desperation and sets you up for a shotgun wedding.

if you're looking for a LTR,

then you should ask YOURSELF,

Are you willing to relocate?

As you're a homo or something akin to it, you should keep that as an open possibility. . . I'm not suggesting picking up and moving for the first lad you find nor them to you. But you should be open to a LD dating.

Although, if you're serious about wanting a relationship, then invest in a professional matchmaker. I will say it's easier if you're part of an ethno-religious group where that is a norm (yes, in this day and age, there are gay options) but there are alternatives for others. . . a little more hit or miss.

But people making this kind of investment are generally looking for an end goal of marriage rather than whoring... and the good ones will network with other professionals to offer things like life coaching, makeovers, possibly including fitness and diet pros to increase your chances of making match.

I am in the same situation as R6. And we are still going after 27 years.

Each of have kids and now grand kids.

I have never been in love with anybody like my hubby.

For God's sake, man, why ask the isolated misanthropes here? (I'm looking at R9, for example. Block it and you realize it's a dark mess with issues that they work out here with nothing but hostile snark. It's always the same old story. Pathetic.).

Unless your strategy is take the advice and then do the exact opposite. Which might work.

r16 to be fair r9 was just being blunt. If OP is asking, they're either desperate or insecure.. in either case, maybe it's what they need to hear unless they were fishing for pity.

There are a lot of people that are a lot of people that prefer the pitiful for relationships and fucks. They believe it's extra human. The sign of a compassionate soul. It's most often the conflict adverse and emotionally needy.

But that has a high risk of making him dead meat in the mainstream market and subject to being taken advantage of.

Overall, he could have a chance on the bear scene. . . though if he's one of those 'sensitive' types. I'd recommend he looks up gay men's retreats and avoid the events, personals & bars scene.

He'd do better exploring intimate settings that aren't specifically geared to the market to establish organic friendships with likeminded singles but not necessarily pressured dating scenes.

although speed dating has its perks, if nothing else a crash course in dealing with the marketplace and getting back into the swing of things.

Local scene might be finding a support group, parents without partners or some elder gay situation., I suppose even just a more casual non-specific meetup with activities he's into.. maybe even daytrips for wine drinking old queens or foodie tours for fatties.

No, R9 was being cruel and getting off on it. Her post trail illustrates why she's on DL.

50 is not 30 and all the bullshit that governs that age no longer applies if OP or anybody wants an actual relationship with another human being.

I lost 20 pound and got somewhat in shape over ages 52-54. Get more attention now than I have for 20+ years. Gay me a re superficial - getting in shape is all you need to attract them.

"getting in shape is all you need to attract them."

And a big fat wallet is all you need to keep them.

silverdaddies.com, silverfoxie.com, daddyhunt.com, daddydater.com, daddyswap.com, caffmoscommunity.com, apollonetwork.com, seeksolder.com, oldergay.men, personals.findgaydad.com ...and your local chapter of Prime Timers: theprimetimersww.com

[quote]Do I have a chance to find true love? Or should I be seeking out an “acceptable” arrangement with a compatible and equally successful middle-aged man?

So true love does not include someone your own age? That's your problem right there.

What you are really saying is you want some hot young muscle guy to fall madly in love with you in-spite of your fat flabby body and old age. That's only going to happen if you are willing to pay for it. As in rent boys or a live in daddy's boy who will need daddy to buy him a car, pay for his clothes, and Gucci pretend lifestyle. If you want true love try starting with men your own age. And probably ones with as much baggage as you. If you expect them to overlook your literal baggage you carry around your midsection, they should be equally expecting you to overlook whatever issues they have that turn most people off.