Matteo at Olive Garden

there's a struggling thread about Matteo already OP, why dilute it even more ?

Is there a cure for gay? I'd totally advocate it, seeing these two queens giving gays a bad name.

Bitter old queen that needs dick alert at r1.

I don't like Matteo's chin implant

That awful hairstyle

The fact their not in the Hamptons or FI now is sad.

he's very attractive, but I prefered his previous face. his nose and chin are too pointy now

His friend looks like a walking stick. Does he have an eating disorder?

friend is not attractive or interesting, I would be ashamed to be seen with him;

I like Matteo. He and Nick should drop in on Blake and Rufus, the couple from the Do These Two Fuck? thread.

Someone named Matteo eating at an Olive Garden in NY sounds either like a crime or a punchline to a joke.

OP , Mein Führer

I prefer the skinny effeminate friend. He's not a snob and his dead pan is wittier than Matteo snarky wit that fails even though everything Matteo takes on is VERY LOW HANGING FRUIT.

What’s with all these gays in ladies’ blouses lately?

I blame the Jonas bros. For a lot of things, come to think of it.

[quote] He and Nick should drop in on Blake and Rufus

Seriously, I would PAY to see a "Matteo at Blake and Rufus " . He could sleepover in the QUEEN Victoria's bed

Matteo wouldn't be finny at Blake and Rufus's because it would require punching up, which Matteo can't do.

it would, it would, espaecially if he sneaks in the bedroom with an infrared camera in the middle of the night

Is this the best NYC has for fine dining?

Matteo is 36 and I think this is the peak of his talent. It doesn't bode well.

Sorry, but this made me laugh out loud. It's a like a gay Laurel and Hardy.

Is it me or does Matteo look like a young Adolf Hitler?

Not so young...

They don't cook anything, right? They just defrost and microwave?

I don't understand the trend of shaved on the sides and then a toupee plopped on top. It's SO Mr. Potato Head.

future carb faces

Yes, r23, that's what Olive Garden does. Most of the food at these chains are prepackaged and just microwaved.

Each dish at OG must have 1,100 calories minimum. And salty. They hope you Verona’s on the bread sticks. Huge quantities like Cheesecake Factory.

Who is starting these threads about Matteo Lane all of a sudden? Did he hire a publicist? Wtf?

They both have the same weird voice. Is this how most (American) DLers sound? I've never thought about it before.

I thought this was funny. The food at OG is salty cow feed, a ripe target for mockery.

It's too easy to mock it. And it's been mocked for two decades, at least. There is nothing clever or fresh in this.

This is amusing , OP. I enjoyed it.

Don’t be absurd , r29.

All DLers look and sound like the Brawny Paper Towel Man, but wearing Lily Pulitzer vintage caftans in bright colors!

I think he’s cute. Out and proud. Unlike the MAGA closet queens cowering in fear.

“Ohmygod, two homosexuals just walked by, and they look SO excited.”

To waitress: “Yeah, we’re just taking pictures of me at Olive Garden, you know — because it happens so rarely.”

Other guy: “She didn’t ask.”

Does New York City have a Red Lobster and Cheesecake Factory too? So fancy.

He looks like he smells of salami

Who are these 2 fags??? Gross!

R39 Matteo (aka Matthew) Lane is a struggling stand-up comedian of mediocre talent who can be very funny in a slew of cooking videos on YT. He has a gorgeous tiny little bod that's on display on IG, and a very hot gay older brother worth checking out.

God, gay men are insufferable. I'd jump off a ledge if I had to spend more than two minutes with either of these two queens.

R41 are you lost dear ?

Y’know, I wouldn’t be seen dead in an Olive Garden.

But I also wouldn’t post a video of myself online being a snooty cunt about people who do dine there either. Especially while ironically sitting in a branch just to perform my own superiority and sophistication.

What a pair of repugnant queens.

Thank the lord for monkey pocks Have a blessed day.

They are repugnant.

Matteo - you in danger, gurl ^^^^^^^

Matteo is not successful enough to receive much hate from DL, and he's single. This will flop after a dozen replies

Basic gay bitches. Why do so many gay guys have resting cuntface?

Matteo actually seems butch compared to his friend.

Remember unboxing videos? Those were more entertaining than this

“There is a lot of Old Navy in this room.”

Matteo is cute as a button, buy gayer than a picnic basket. That other one needs to be banished. Why do gay men act so affected?

These guys are too femme and girly for my taste. Give me a real man, a true bro, any day of the week over these two. The straighter acting the better.

It says alot when one of these queens days that they went to Olive Garden only on special occasions. OG was their go to? Oh my!

[quote]It says alot when one of these queens days that they went to Olive Garden only on special occasions. OG was their go to? Oh my!

I think it's sweet. Not everyone grew up going for nights out at The Copacabana.

The tall one has an aristocratic body.

I know I shouldn't be surprised by the homophobic vitriol on this thread, but come on. Is this storm front or kiwi farms? If you don't like these two, just move it along toots.

I was more appalled by the Olive Garden experience. Never having been to one it's worse than I expected. The food looks like slop.

Having once gazed over a balustrade and into the pig trough sized helpings of muck at a huge Cheesecake Factory in Chicago, I have even dimmer expectations of that franchise.

The tall one needs to be sprinkled with McDougall's Thickening Granules.

Was it Munchkin night at OG?

They’re both repulsive. Gives gays a bad rap.

They should go to HAGS. Full price or pay what you can night.

He looks so fucking stupid with that mustache. Not all trends should be followed.

who is this disgusting faggy ?

I guess I’m in the minority. Cute vid and Matteo is cute as hell. I think some of you would gladly go back 40 years and keep gays in the closet.

I love how the one said the Olive Garden growing up was a 35 minute drive away.

I thought that was quite funny for some reason.

I was given an Olive Garden gift card as a present. I gladly re-gifted it. I sure as hell didn’t want it.

Who are these 'guys'?

I have seen one in Palm Desert near Palm Springs and it is always packed. I’m curious to try but the calorie count looks overwhelming.

Why this eldergay dresses like a teenager ??

So flaming and repulsive. The type who don't play or watch sports, or know anything about sports. The tall one probably giggles like a 12-year-old girl when someone says balls. Way too femme for my taste.

Matteo actually owns a golden girls mug, and is a big fan of the show , he's a true DLer bitches. Mug at 2:20

Matteo is the only child of Richard Simmons and Joyce DeWitt.

His face looks very strange.

Was he in some kind of automobile accident?

Yes but the accident gave him the brain damage. He was born with almost that face, minus the implants.

Has everyone finished externalizing their self-hatred?

R76 Matteo we know it's you.

Lasagna Frrrrrrrreeeeta!

I got as far as the one wearing the blouse from the “Ladie’s” department at Walmart squealing about the dropped dishes and I tapped out.

I'm half italian, and we've always used a spoon with our pasta. My grandfather would have considered it very messy if we hadn't. But then ,we always drained pasta too, so, to each hs own. Actually, I don't remember if my grandfather drained pasta, or collected it with a serving fork...

I can’t find any information or pictures of his alleged plastic surgery. Link please?

The nose looks different in earlier videos, and the chin is suspiciously pointy. Matteo is no spring chicken , so I wouldn't be surprised if he had gone the chin-implant-makes-you-drop-15-years route

Must the skinny queen be so dramatic over dishes breaking??? Way too over the top.

Whoever R76 is, he’s not wrong R77.

Have no evidence but Matteo seems like a cunt

love Matteo but that guy with him is such an annoying self-important twat

Sorry, but I thought the tall friend was hilarious. Watched another video with them, he more naturally funny than Matteo.

Their inner girls are very strong. As they are for most homos

It was funny. I needed a laugh. Thanks, OP.

The rest of you would probably be happier on Truth Social.

I bet Matteo looks good in a jockstrap.

Grown men who behave and talk like teenage girls are not attractive in the least.

He does R90, and boy does he know it

Who are these random Nancy-boys?

R93 They represent the Monkeypox League, The Monkeypox League, The Monkeypox League And in the name of the Monkeypox League, They wish to welcome you to Munchkinland. Tra la la la la la la From now on you'll be history. You'll be history, you'll be history, you'll be history. And they will glorify your name. You will be a bust, be a bust, be a bust In the Hall of Fame!

Why are we giving "air time" to these nelly gays? Gays like these two are an embarrassment honestly. They're like a modern-day gay minstrel show. Embarrassing.

He has a very good editor. I'm sure there was lots of downtime, waiting for their mushy, garlic-soaked noodles.

The whole restaurant looks like a front for the Mafia.

[quote]Is there a cure for gay? I'd totally advocate it.

Transitioning would solve this problem, no?

It’s absolutely upsetting and wrong that there are two threads featuring this creature. I did laugh at his awful new face, though, so that’s a plus.

[quote]Why are we giving "air time" to these nelly gays? Gays like these two are an embarrassment honestly. They're like a modern-day gay minstrel show. Embarrassing.

I’m starting to change my mind on transgenderism, I’m starting to believe maybe it’s for the best. Gay brings out way too much anger.

Between monkeypox, AIDS, and having to deal with a community of bitchy femmes, why would anyone choose to come out of the closet these days. It's safer and smarter to not come out.

[quote] why would anyone choose to come out of the closet these days. It's safer and smarter to not come out.

THAT'S WHAT I'VE SAID -ALWAYS

As the Irish-born woman who babysat us would say..."What a couple of Marys!"

It's enjoyable to watch them worry about the 1,000+ calories. Just walk around the city afterwards!!

I"m sad because in another environment, Matteo would be straight. America creating it's monsters

its...typo

I do want to like Matteo Lane, I just cannot bring myself to. The sound of his voice arouses an instinctive violent response in the depths of my soul, and makes me want to break things. He is just so. fucking. punchable.

It's called gaypanic R106, deep down, you're a straight

R72 I can probably use that recipe and I will look for that brand of purée. But Jesus that power bottom needs to quit singing and flapping his hands. And put shoes on in the kitchen.

That Olive Garden clip above is super cheesy. I’d like to be tall and lean like that guy in the peasant blouse. He’s really attractive. I wish he had a mute button. These two, as influencers, belong in the scratched and dented section of aspiring media personalities. But in their present forms, they need to fuck all the way off. Get thee to a media coach, scrub these shitty clips off the web, and try again. Who told them that shit was cute?

[quote] And put shoes on in the kitchen.

Hell no, the main reason I watch is to catch a glimpse of the footsies

His tall friend in the video and that appears with him on TikTok is naturally more funny than Matteo, who’s only able to barely squeeze some humor out of himself every ten minutes or so. His stand up is… something.

The Hamptons have been miserable for years R6. Unless you’re sitting on a billion and can be helicoptered out to your 10 acre waterfront manse like you’re larping Succession (which you decidedly cannot because you’re poverty stricken by Hampton’s standards,) there’s no reason to go.

Id like to pound Matteo. Get him biting a pillow. Im betting he’s a good fuck.

Hes funny. Hes young. Hes cute.Hes successful.So is his friend. I knew you old bitter bitches would HATE them. Datalosers... Self-loathing toxic scolds!

R112 I think he's a filthy whore. I bet he'll do anything for affection. Don't even bother to shower

[quote] Hes young

eeeeeh..."HES" pushing 40, so...datalounge young

R113, successful? By what measure?

I like my men to reek of testosterone, not appletini, when they sweat. And they probably know zip about sports. Ask them who Mickey Mantle is. They'll probably respond it's a piece of furnerture made in Dublin to rest your drink on. Fuck that shit. Hard pass on these two femmy things.

Matteo's friend is the definition of unfuckable

"young" is relative.

so much homophobia here. some guys are effeminate and some are masculine, some are gay, some are bi and some are straight and no one owes anyone an apology for being themselves.

Fuck you, Pollyanna r120.

R120 they should apologize for catering to the lowest expectations of what "a gay" should sound like and act like, and debase themselves in such a way. In Italy, as he very well knows, Matteo would be straight or at the very least bi. he's cute, hard working, disciplined, can cook, he's husband material. With a little effort he could make a ragazza happy. . his's friend is garbage.

[quote]so much homophobia here. some guys are effeminate

Some women are masculine, but both seem to be a huge problem that transgenderism could solve. Maybe transgenderism is a good thing?

Is there any doubt which category Miss Defensive r120 falls under?

I can cut your dick off and you can tell me if you still think the same way, R123.

Pipe down and have some pinot noir, you sweet little lambchops.

So many gay men are little girls. That's why all my FBs are straight married guys. They're all traditionally masculine and straight, but enjoy the good D every once in a while.

I don't like his friend, not because he's effeminate, but because he has absolutely shitty taste in Italian food. This is his favorite Italian restaurant? He prefers chains? He uses "parmesan" from a jar and mocks Matteo for using real P-R? Ewww. Just awful.

[quote]I can cut your dick off and you can tell me if you still think the same way, [R123].

I was completely against transgenderism, but now I think transgenderism is the answer to feminine gay men, and masculine lesbians. I see the hate here, just get rid of both. I support transgenderism now.

I think transitioning feminine gay men and masculine lesbians will happen anyway, so fewer of them in society, I suppose. Like Iran.

Effeminate gay men and masculine lesbians are biological errors. It is possible they would be better off becoming the opposite gender.

I would not want to fuck the friend, but he is cute in his tall, thin way and is way funnier than Matteo.

Who are these fucking queens?

[quote]Effeminate gay men and masculine lesbians are biological errors. It is possible they would be better off becoming the opposite gender.

Wouldn’t the gay community be happier with them gone?

the gay community does not exist.

These two flamers are the worst stereotype and the reason why straight people are creeped out by gays. It's not so much the anal sex, but the idea of a woman trapped in a man's body that creeps out normal straight guys. Even masc gay guys, if there are any, are probably creeped out by them.

Okay, then wouldn’t society be happier?

[quote] These two flamers are the worst stereotype and the reason why straight people are creeped out by gays. It's not so much the anal sex, but the idea of a woman trapped in a man's body that creeps out normal straight guys. Even masc gay guys, if there are any, are probably creeped out by them.

Such a pair of fucking fxggxts. Creepy.

Maybe femme gays and masc lesbos should be given the choice of either undergoing trans surgery in order to remain in decent society, or being shipped to an island just for them to live out their days, sort of like the old leper colonies.

R139 These people should be allowed to express themselves, just not near me.

Wish I had fun friends like that. All I ever met were dreary dummies who smoke pot and watch cartoons.

Who let the Jihadist in?

Those queers are why people hate queers.

Size meat verificatia on that tall gay farm boy, please.

Femmes are gonna femme out. That's their way. Just keep that shit out of my sight. Don't need to see that.

[quote] being shipped to an island just for them to live out their days,

You mean Australia ,right ? wouldn't it be best to ship them to another planet ? and leave them to fend for themselves there ? you must think of the aboriginal people, they've suffered enough already as it is.

Matteo is not funny. he should stick to being "The gay pasta cook" on YT. His stand-up suks

There flames can be seen from space, so I don't think another planet would take them, accept maybe Ur-Anus, lol!!!!!

Is anyone else fascinated by the intense hatred for Matteo on this thread? Are these posters his exes?

[quote]Is anyone else fascinated by the intense hatred for Matteo on this thread?

Not really. To Datalounge is to hate. Especially other gay men. And men we wish were gay.

Somebody needs to stop trying to make Matteo happen.

[quote] And men we wish were gay

Exactly. and ARE NOT

Matteo needs to stop Matteo from trying to happen. He’s cringe.

Side Note: Fuck The Olive Garden for removing Braised Beef & Tortolloni. I have no use for them anymore, and haven't since at least 2010. I also don't have use for anyone who eats at a fucking OLIVE GARDEN when there are so many other amazing options in a city such as New York.

Relegate the chain eating for road trips, where there aren't any other alternatives.

[quote] Matteo needs to stop Matteo from trying to happen

You cannot make a star on DL. nobody can . Either you are, or you ain't. The public chooses

Native West Virginian, Hi, I have a question for you...you're my fav, you know that, but someonetold me you're a frau...true ?

[quote] "Native West Virginian, Hi, I have a question for you...you're my fav, you know that, but someonetold me you're a frau...true ?"

What I am, R156 is a 32 year-old, ugly, pock marked Jew fairy, and if it takes me a little while to pull myself together, and if I smoke a little grass before I get up the nerve to show my face to the world, it's nobody's god-damned business but my own. ...And how are you this afternoon?

Jokes aside, I'm not a frau, R156. I'm a gay man. As gay as the day is long. But I find it humorous that even online, someone would mistake me for anything else.

Thanks bro (that's just DL gossip, you know)

[quote] "Thanks bro (that's just DL gossip, you know)"

I didn't know. But I think it's hilarious that I'd be the center of any kind of DL rumor. Especially one that makes me out to be a heterosexual woman.

To be more specific, the gossip is that you're an elderfrau who's son is gay, hence your residency here. Just ignore it

[quote]an elderfrau who's son is gay

Oh, dear, SloppyH.

I know, I'm sorry...what can I say ? I could blame my old keyboard, but you'd know I was lying

I've eaten at Olive Garden twice on road trips. The food is salty as hell, I was thirsty for hours afterwards.

r163 = Matteo.

LOL r164 I can assure you I'm not Matteo!

Sissies, both of them.

Why are you motherfuckers so damn homophobic?

not homophobic, most DLers just prefer their men to be masc, butch, or even plain straight.

nobody likes a fem faggoty faggot

R168, that's different, this is shaming and bullying, what the fuck is the difference between this and straight people gaybashing? You're gay do fucking better.

Matteo's friend makes him look like a butch Marine. Maybe that's the goal.

[QUOTE] what the fuck is the difference between this and straight people gaybashing?

the difference is , that when we say he's a disgusting faggot, we know exactly what we're talking about

Matteo is a charming and beautiful human being, but he needs to learn his lesson, and we are here for it. Show-business rule : if you're a comedian, and you are fat, don't make your act and your funny about your being fat, it's the cheapest form of comedy, it's like despicable cunt Mrs Clinton telling women, "vote for me because I have a uterus" = eat shit, bitch !

It would be more interesting if it was a Ruby Tuesdays.

R25 whats a carb face?

R28 I always get his You Tube Shorts recommended to me. His stand up is very mainstream Modern Family-esque

They're both dick wilters, especially the tall sissy girl.

They’re wayyyyy too faggy!

Too bad he doesn't have the wit to punch up, and go review Oiji Mi or Nudibranch.

I’d take one for the team and drop a load in Matteo’s sloppy hole.

R172, you're being a homophobic pig, you are way more disgusting and vile with that internalized homophobia than Matteo could ever be. As if you didn't have some sugar in your tank.

R181 you're being a homophobic pig, you are way more disgusting and vile

and still you would crawl over a field of diarrhea just to slurp on my dick. you're a victim

R182, bitch I would punch your fuckin lights out. You're a disgusting piece of sociopathic shit.

Matteo inspires violence and should be cancelled!

'They're both dick wilters, especially the tall sissy girl."

"They’re wayyyyy too faggy!"

So said R177 and R178, as they both sashayed away in their billowing caftans, Espadrilles and wafts of Kool 100's smoke.

White people don't smoke Kools.

Is Matteo into dildo-play? Asking for a friend.

So everyone has a poster of him in their bathroom?

I want to see his ass. I want to see matteo's ass. Now.

I didn't know pass-around party bottoms could eat at Olive Garden. Isn't it bad for business to eat that much starch?

[quote]Too bad he doesn't have the wit to punch up

To attack his superiors, him being inferior as a gay man. Fucking stupid.

You're not gay til you have a Liszha impersonation.

American fatass speaking, I love comfort foods and large portions. But these chain restaurants offer poor value. You are being served microwave ready foods @ these establishments. Save the money and pick up microwaved food from Aldi or Trader Joe's.

I actually enjoy Olive Garden every once in a while. It's a guilty pleasure, just like Stouffer's Lasagna or a microwaved donut.

Who cares about these two.

I prefer the SLAVE twink and his husky American boyfriend

OG has the best tossed salad and their house dressing is superb. I absolutely did the salmon dish

Like many of you above, I really wanted to like Matteo Lane. I followed him on Instagram for months. But I had to stop. His comedy bits are more strained than funny. They are all about his being gay – he has no breadth, only depth related to his being gay. Gay, gay, gay. Okay, I'm gay too. But the worst was the incessant posts. Some days there were dozens, and there might be one that made me laugh every couple weeks. For a professional comedian, he is one-note and just boring.

Videos of him with others are usually better. The OP's video was more funny than most videos of Lane. Yes, the friend is campy, but he has good comedic timing. BTW, Lane is right: Olive Garden's food is oversalted. Always. Everything.

Salt makes you thirsty, which makes you buy more overpriced soft drinks.

Note that the tall thin one barely ate anything.

His plate of pasta was full at the end while Matteo's was empty.

He had a bite of breadstick and a bite of dessert.

the serving staff dropped platters of food twice during their meal, awful service too

Nick filled-up on most of the lasagna fritas.

R198 Olive Garden has free refills on soft drinks, as does almost every restaurant these days, from McDonald's to your local trattoria.

"what's a carb face?"

It's no matter how much weight you lose, you still have a chubby person's face.

What's a green salad face? Kind of like Beaker's?