Actor Shia LeBeouf is speaking out about the allegations of abuse brought against him by his ex-girlfriend, musician FKA twigs, which were first made public in a 2020 interview with The New York Times.
In a two-hour appearance on Jon Bernthal's Patreon-exclusive podcast Real Ones, LeBeouf, 36, did not name the artist — whose real name is Tahliah Barnett — but told the podcast host, “I hurt that woman," Variety reported.
He added that in the process of hurting Barnett, who he met when they worked together on his semi-autobiographical film Honey Boy, he "hurt many other people, and many other people before that woman."
"I was a pleasure-seeking, selfish, self-centered, dishonest, inconsiderate, fearful human being," he continued.
Saying he “f***** up bad,” LaBeouf referred to his behavior as “crash and burn type s***."
"I hurt a lot of people, and I’m fully aware of that," the Holes star said. "And I’m going to owe for the rest of my life.”
LaBeouf, who is now a father to a daughter with partner Mia Goth, also shared that he “cheated on every woman I’ve ever been with” and didn't notify sexual partners about "getting cold sores," adding that he has a “long list of people that I need to make amends to.”
Without using her name, he referred to Barnett as a “saint” and said she “saved my f****** life.”
“Had she not intervened in my life and not created the avenue for me to experience ego death, I’d either have a really mediocre existence or I’d be dead in full,” LaBeouf said. However, when the allegations first surfaced, his immediate reaction was thoughts of suicide, determining that he was “gonna kill myself.”
“I went and loaded up a gun and sat on my table,” he said.
LaBeouf instead said he experienced “ego death," and is now seeking a greater purpose in life.
“My purpose, and I mean this with every fiber of my being, is to be instructive with my life, so that I can be an advertisement, like a billboard, for a principled way of living," he shared. “When I think about what my life has become, and what it is now, like what my purpose is now… I need to be useful. And when I look at this #MeToo environment, there’s not a whole lot of dudes that are taking accountability.”
In her 2020 interview with the New York Times, Barnett spoke about the alleged abuse she suffered during her relationship with LeBeouf, and revealed the lawsuit she was bringing against him as a result. She discussed the progression of the allegedly abusive behavior, including how she had to keep her eyes down when men spoke to her, and wasn't allowed to wear clothing to bed. LaBeouf also allegedly kept a loaded firearm by the bed, which frightened her. The lawsuit also claims LaBeouf knowingly gave Barnett a sexually transmitted disease.
The relationship allegedly became physically abusive, as per the suit, LaBeouf allegedly "drunkenly pinned her to a bed" and "head-butted her, enough that she bled."
In an interview with CBS This Morning last year, Barnett said it's a "miracle" she got out of the relationship alive. She recalled a time LaBeouf attacked her at a gas station.
"He picked me up and he threw me against the car and started strangling me and that's when I realized I needed to get help to get out of this relationship," she shared. "I remember after that weekend, going back to where I was staying and looking at myself in the mirror, one side of me was, like, completely black. And I was so shocked, you know?"
LeBeouf is back in the news this week due to the impending release of Olivia Wilde's film Don't Worry Darling, in which he was originally cast as the lead role opposite Florence Pugh. He was replaced by Harry Styles following his exit. In a recent interview with Variety, Wilde implied that she parted ways with LaBeouf after determining his acting process wouldn't translate to a "safe, trusting environment."