Madonna’s New Album Flops At #3 on UK Album Chart, Outsold by Steps and Aitch

Steps did eleventy hundred physical format variations.

What is even the new album? Madame chachacha Y?

[quote]Steps did eleventy hundred physical format variations.

The only physical format they had available that Madonna didn’t was cassette, and I highly doubt cassettes were the bulk of sales.🙄

Nice try at an excuse for her embarrassing flop though!

[quote]What is even the new album? Madame chachacha Y?

It’s called “Finally Enough Flops.”

Madonna gets so much shit for her fashion and lifestyle choices but what the fuck does H think he's wearing in that photo?

[Quote] The only physical format they had available that Madonna didn’t was cassette, and I highly doubt cassettes were the bulk of sales.🙄Nice try at an excuse for her embarrassing flop though!

But how many variants did they have within those physical formaths? Hm? Hmmm?

Yes, R3, but there were 1000 vinyl formats with picture discs, autographed discs etc. Rabid fans are going to buy every version available. But you knew that too, didn't you.

*formats

R7 = delusional Vadge stan angry he didn’t buy enough vinyl box sets of “Finally Enough Flops.”

Wait - Madonna has a new album?

No. Just a remix compilation, all previously released (commercial or promo).

R10 It’s a new greatest hits album of unreleased remixes.

Oh, then why would anyone expect it to chart at #1? I'm shocked it's in the Top 10. Anyone who is a fan of Madonna already has multiple ways to access her greatest hits, even if they don't already own the Immaculate Collection and/or GHV2.

The old broad needs to actually do a TOUR of her greatest hits if she wants to make that money. This is LAZY.

One for sorrow!

Madonna is old enough that her fanbase will buy physical product. Though, apparently there are lots of unsold Madame X discs...

[quote]Oh, then why would anyone expect it to chart at #1?

Umm….maybe because the Steps album was a greatest hits album too and it went to number one, yet she’s supposedly the worldwide “star.”

Make sense?

Steps did a huge amount of PR for the release.

Madonna didn't.

Who the fuck are Steps?

They're a cheesy pop group.

H in motion is even worse than the photos.

Does their stylist and make up artist hold a grudge against him?

Faye always looks amazing. A classic beauty.

Big Claire looks like she's been going through the bins at the back of Greggs every night.

When is LardAss’s album coming out?

A #3 on the UK charts is a flop?? Lol you need to stop living!

I love the scene in Russel T. Davies' "Bob & Rose" where the male lead spots someone on the dancefloor. They lock eyes and the male lead makes his approach, only to be cockblocked by Steps version of "Tragedy," which causes the other guy to launch into the dance routine. The male lead instantly loses his "boner."

#3 for a remix album isn’t a flop.

Steps have had number 1 greatest hits albums in 2001, 2011 and 2022. I'm dreading 2033.

Sad. Madonna’s so-called “hits” are forgotten by everyone under 55.

I'd love to see a sales breakdown for all the different versions.

I wonder how many bought the Lee Latchford Evans version.

People are having a hard time understanding that this isn’t a greatest hits collection. The collection doesn’t even have major hits such as La Isla Bonita, Crazy for You, Borderline, Take a Bow, and many others.

Are people dumb or are they just obsessed with the idea of Madonna not being number one and willfully ignoring the fact that this isn’t a new album or a greatest hits package?

Did his come with a shirtless calendar?

LOL her delusional fans are upset!

Even this never heard of rapper Aitch outsold her!

Vadge fans trying to derail this as a "well it's only a remix album, no one buys those". And yet earlier in the week it was "Madge is no.1 on spotify across the globe".

All credit to Steps, shitty though they are, they are just nice people. In this case...kindness wins!!

[quote]All credit to Steps, shitty though they are, they are just nice people. In this case...kindness wins!!

Steps are nice people?!?? LOL

Did you never watch Steps the Reunion in which H and Claire admitted what utter cunts they'd been to Faye, Lisa and Lee?

R32 Yep! It’s sad how in denial the Vadge fans are! Yes, Steps is shitty, but they’re still selling records and selling out arenas! Meanwhile, Vadge is supposedly a worldwide star, yet couldn’t even sell out 2,000 seat theaters on her last tour and can’t get a #1.

Dishonest. She was asking too much for ticket prices. A Madonna arena tour would raken in way more money than a Steps one. You're doing a poor job.

Sales figures on Monday. #UK Midweeks Album Chart (Monday):

#1 Steps Platinum Collection 16,609 sales

#2 .@Madonna's #FinallyEnoughLove50numberOnes - 11,192 Sales

#3 Aitchs's Close To Home 8,394 Sales

*rake

Who is Aitch? Not Aitch from Steps, clearly.

[quote]Did you never watch Steps the Reunion in which H and Claire admitted what utter cunts they'd been to Faye, Lisa and Lee?

Meanwhile, Vadge was on The Tonight Show a few weeks ago laughing about her ex boyfriend that helped launch her career being dead.

"Dishonest. She was asking too much for ticket prices. A Madonna arena tour would raken in way more money than a Steps one. You're doing a poor job."

No, wasn't she also doing the ticket and album racket she's had going the last decade or so.

Mark Kamins?

Even Taylor Swift does the ticket+album racket.

R36 Why are you posting an old ass update from Monday? An update so old the final chart positions changed.

Old ass update? Is this Janbot?

Gawd, her Stans are next level. Pleading with each other on message boards to get her a UK No.1 This was earlier this week, she then peaked at no.3.

[quote]Who is Aitch?

Exactly! Even someone almost nobody has heard of outsold her!

What I LOVE about all this is seeing Madge act like a geriatric pole dancer the last few years, obnoxious and deluded, no one gives a fig about her music or her anymore. Then Kate Bush enjoys global fame with a song from 40 years ago and she herself has never courted the press or celebrity.

GOOD music has nothing to do with age or style, quality will always win through in the end.

Eat shit and humble pie Madge.

It's a remix compilation box set without any totally new songs that she did no UK press for, coming in at #3 is just fine.

R47 Exactly! You know it tore her up inside seeing Kate Bush have a nearly 40 year old song go to #1 with absolutely no effort on Kate’s part.

Karma is real!

Who cares, OP? Madge is the best selling female recording artist of all time and has been around for more than 30 years. Steps and Aitch will be long forgotten in thirty years and will only achieve a tiny fraction of her sales or fame. Truly pathetic, OP. What a joke. Young people are such a disappointment.

R31/R46 Aitch is massive with the under-35 British crowd.

He wrote a spoken-word piece to commemorate the opening of the Euro 2020 football final between England & Italy, not knowing what was to follow.

Is H the evil gay one that likes to post nude or nearly nude photos of himself online? I know Claire is the evil cow who got roasted online for complaining about a cake.

^^^^^ Both of whom pale into significance when considering the raging cunt that is Madonna.

90% of people do not know who Steps and Aitch, nor do they care.

Oh, please. Kate sat for that famous nipples pin up shot. She absolutely courted publicity. She simply retired to domesticity.

.... who Steps and Aitch are, nor do they care.

Oh, That goes without question R53, I was just curious if they approached anywhere near KMadonna's level of cuntishness or not.

[quote]Is H the evil gay one that likes to post nude or nearly nude photos of himself online?

He remained in the closet when other gay pop stars were being open and honest.

When he eventually came out he did it as a victim and said his evil ex boyfriend who was Steps' manager forced him to be in the closet, and it was before he did Celebrity Big Brother where he sat and watched Jade Goody, her boyfriend and mother, Danielle Lloyd and S Club's Jo O'Meara bully Shilpa Shetty relentlessly and did nothing.

And now he's a full blown LGBTQIA+ activist, lecturing others on how to live their lives.

He's a cunt.

You don't find him hot.

Nipples you say R55?!?! Well grab the holy water and lock up your sons!

H is not a nice man part 1415511

I guess you miss the point, r60...

Kate Bush: "Oh, England, my lionheart

Dropped from my black spitfire to my funeral barge

Give me one kiss in apple blossom

Give me one wish and I'd be wassailing

In the orchard my English rose

Or with my shepherd who'll bring me home"

Madonna:

"My pussy has nine lives"

Kate was obviously high when she wrote that, R63.

Madonna gets right to the point.

That Kate Bush lyric is rather twee.

Kate writes the pretentious nonsense that critics swoon over.

Not as high as she was after learning of the number of streams and downloads of Running Up That Hill.

Whoopie, R67. "Stranger Things" brought Kate Bush out of obscurity. She'll sink back into obscurity in no time. Her current popularity is just a blip in her career.

Only a clueless fag would think Kate was obscure. Sorry, but that's the way it is.

Madge stans are so sensitive and need to repeat the same shit over and over. "Madonna's the best selling female artist blah blah blah." Sales have never indicated quality. McDonald's is very popular but is it good food? Michael Bay movies were huge at the box office but are they good movies? Popular musicians and actors end up forgotten which each new generation. If they have really good music then it will be remembered or rediscovered like the Kate Bush song or Dreams by Fleetwood Mac. A lot of Madonna's music is dated and her new music just sucks and she acts ridiculous and looks like a monster. She destroyed her own career. You Madge stans also love to bash other female artists who are successful and getting revivals in popularity. You all are just as insecure as Vadge. Keep it up.

That Kate lyric was written while she was still in her teens R65.

Good pop music is always "of its time" or "dated." Music that doesn't sound of its time is usually bland - piano/vocal, acoustic etc.

[quote]Only a clueless fag would think Kate was obscure. Sorry, but that's the way it is.

No, Kate was a big popular success, even in the 80s. Everyone knows her.

What kind of bubble do you live in, R69?

R72 I wouldn't describe acoustic music as bland. That's your opinion

I'm arguing she's NOT obscure.

[quote] If they have really good music then it will be remembered or rediscovered like the Kate Bush song or Dreams by Fleetwood Mac.

People remember loads of her songs.

I love Kate Bush and Fleetwood Mac but they didn’t have a huge number of smash hit singles.

Madonna did

Acoustic music isn't inherently bland, but it generally isn't good pop music.

I watched that River Phoenix/Christine Lahti movie awhile back. "Lucky Star" turns up in it as an "old" song. I think the movie is from 1988.

R70 Girl, put the vodka down and go to bed. You need to calm down. Why are you getting so upset? The point of this thread is about sales so, your post here is just silly. Get some help. This is just Datalounge. You’ll be ok after some rest. We’re concerned.

Really, R70? So Steps and Aitch, which this thread is about, are profound musicians whose music will be appreciated generations from now. I'm laughing so hard right now, I have to stop typing.

R75, my first sentence is completely sarcastic. Kate Bush was always an alternative artist whose music was an acquired taste.

I don't understand why people use sales and popularity to argue about music. Why can't there be a discussion on the instrumentals, production, singing, lyrics and flow? Things that matter. Not everything is a high school popularity contest.

R81, well sarcasm, wit and intelligence all elude you.

R82, you do realize that more than a few books that were considered to be great works of literature by prestigious critics a hundred years ago, are now completely forgotten. The same applies to contemporary music.

Some of the mix choices are odd. You wouldn't think she'd have used the video mix of "Fever." I say "she." I doubt Madonna had much input.

R83, anyone who thinks Kate Bush wasn't an obscure artist isn't intelligent. They're a delusional fan.

It depends. This is the internet. People from different countries post here.

Regarding R82; "I don't understand why people use sales and popularity to argue about music. Why can't there be a discussion on the instrumentals, production, singing, lyrics and flow? Things that matter."

OMG, this guy so gets it!

[Quote) Oh, please. Kate sat for that famous nipples pin up shot. She absolutely courted publicity. She simply retired to domesticity.

She posed fur a publicity photo in 1978 where it turned out you could see the outline of her nipples. She did not repeat that nor was she pleased about it. Abd, as a reminder. She didn't desperately create a book of porn, repeatedly the out her tits, nor grow a tree out of her cunt.

Madonna is a whore. Stop putting down legit artists for your greasy slut who likes to pretend she is one.

Everyone is doing this - releasing the club mixes. Grouping the mixes together makes streaming on music networks easier. Even kd lang put one out. Level 42(!) put one out. Anyway! Madonna’s moment is over- everywhere but the clubs, so why not? I’m sure i threw down to some of the tracks back then but never was a club mix buyer. Lastly: just listened to three Steps songs. It’s disco. Just like Madonna. Six of one to me!

Madonna didn't do the Sex book out of desperation.

I doubt Kate Bush would be on board with your whore comments.

"With three-day physical sales of 2,160 copies in Japan...."

Seriously, that's what Madge sold in three days in Japan?

"Madonna didn't do the Sex book out of desperation."

No. She did it because of her artistic integrity.

I don't know about that, R70. Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" is still known decades later. I don' t think it's a great song but it is a very catchy, very entertaining one. Longevity isn't necessarily an indication of quality.

Is Madonna's cd a greatest hits cd?

"My pussy is the temple of learning."

Did Bob Lefsetz weigh in on this?

#3 is not a flop.

It would be if Madonna was at #1 and Janet was at #3 though, wouldn't it?

Ive never understood the appeal of Kate Bush and I never will .The only song I like of hers is Wuthering Heights and Benatars version is far better .

There is nothing ghostly about Benatar's version. I like Kate's re-record vocals better. It's a shame she didn't re-record vocals for some of the other early tracks on her "Best of" compilation.

And in the US it flopped even worse limping in at #8!😂

Jesus Christ, she was beaten by a Steps Greatest Hits??! She’s going to drinking even more.

[quote]#3 is not a flop.

You must be joking. It’s a massive flop.

Kate Bush's singing on "Wuthering Heights" is hilarious. Definitely an acquired taste.

She sounds like she's a comedian doing a song parody.

Let me know when the old whore has finally snuffed it.

Who, Chaos? Kate Bush? She's doing fine 😆.

After which era should've Madonna retired? It's all so sad now.

Defo Music was her last hurrah R110. I get there's love for Confessions, but that was more of a collective sigh of relief after the shitshow that was American Life.

She seems to lack any form of self-awareness.

What makes you say that R112?

It's actually quite surprising that Steps managed to set up a decent comeback in the last few years. A competent management really can do wonders.

That's all it takes R114, competency. But then, Steps are proper desperate for another bite of the cherry, will do/say/behave as they're asked to achieve that. Madge with her mega ego and narcissism is a harder client to handle.

This is quite embarrassing for her. Although to be fair, the compilation is EXPENSIVE—I would have bought it, as there are a number of great tracks on it (for me, I think Ray of Light through Confessions is an incredible run) but I couldn’t justify spending upwards of £25 on an album, particularly when dance music is something I rarely listen to. So the price will have been working against her, particularly amid this economic meltdown. I assume the Steps album was much cheaper and that other random guy id never heard of (I bet he’s feeling particularly pleased with himself today!),

"So the price will have been working against her, particularly amid this economic meltdown."

You'd think that, but then her Stans have been buying it in multiple formats to try and get her a No.1 Also, her concert tickets weren't exactly cheap either.

Steps are a heritage act. They wheel out all the old hits and a few new ones which are mostly misses. Covering Five Star and The Three Degrees is hardly pushing their artistic limits. But it sells. People go to their concert to have fun, to sing along and dance. Steps have minimal creative input into their music and just turn up to lay down the vocals and film the videos. And that's fine. They're doing something pop groups have done for years.

Madonna has refused to be a heritage act, wheeling out the greatest hits. I admire her for that even if I'm not a fan of the music itself. The same with Kate Bush. They evolve as artists, they progress.

Watch the videos for This Woman's Work and Oh Father back to back. They were in a different league.

[quote]Madonna has refused to be a heritage act, wheeling out the greatest hits. I admire her for that even if I'm not a fan of the music itself. The same with Kate Bush. They evolve as artists, they progress.

That should read "I admire her for that even if I'm not a fan of the NEWER music itself"

That said, some of the songs on Rebel Heart were amazing.

It happens to the best of us.

H is an attention seeker

1. I previewed most of the songs and didn't find any of them re-listenable. The originals I know and still listen to are better.

2. She's an annoying person but she really does have an excellent catalog of era-defining pop music. In retrospect, it is really impressive and her music supports her queen of pop title. I think she has a hell of a lot more and better hits than Michael Jackson did throughout his career.

3. Madame X was adventurous for her and I appreciate the effort. It is still listenable even though it's not great. It does showcase though how the sound of her past music overcame a lot of mediocre or poor lyrics, because the awkwardness of the lyrics on Madame X is hard to stomach in many places. ("I will be gay, if the gay are burned /I'll be Africa, if Africa is shut down/I will be poor, if the poor are humiliated...")

4. Rebel/Heart is actually very good overall given that her vocal abilities aren't as versatile or powerful as they were when she was younger. It makes me think she still has potential for good music...

5. ...except that her recent bizarre behaviors and appearance are bordering on tragic and I have a bad feeling she's teetering on Wendy Williams territory with substance abuse and some kind of organic cognitive breakdown going on. It is really sad to watch. If it's not just an act—which would be characteristic for her—and if she is as much of an egocentric person as she seems to be, she would be best off going off the radar for her final years like Barbara Walters did. What's happening to her now makes me feel a sinking feeling in my heart as Whitney Houston's death did. And Houston's daughter going in the same way has been on my mind since I saw Lola's disturbing surgically altered and braindead appearance in her mumbly music video.

I've been listening to Finally Enough Love this week and some of the remixes are horrible. It's also a reminder (or a wake-up call) that Madonna was, is, whatever...just a pop star! Nothing special...dance music! She rode the wave of early MTV and made everyone believe that what she did was due to her genius and then the media made her out to be one. And being the narcissist she is, she rode THAT wave. How embarrassing.

R123 That's not true, "nothing special...just dance music."

Take a Bow, Betime Story, Human Nature—she made a lot of good, provocative non-dance music in many genres.

And what she really was was a video star. Many of her videos remain artful and exceptional.

I see JanBot has started yet another thread about its true obsession.

#3 debut for a minimally promoted remix album with tracks that mostly have appeared on multiple prior successful releases is... pretty impressive actually.

Ok R124 but at the end of the day she was and always will be just a pop star who made a shit ton of money. That was my point

R126 Yes, she was a pop star.

Did you ever think she was something else? What did you think she was?

R127 She did.

Madonna wasn't *just* a pop star, she was an artist.

She made great songs with great videos and produced great tours. She had creative control over everything and pushed herself artistically and creatively.

Some periods were more successful than others and worked well in different parts of the world

Take A Bow was her most successful single in the US, but in the UK it broke her run of top 10 singles. Hung Up and Sorry were both number ones in the UK but lacked interest in the US.

I think Steps benefit from the absence of a present day equivalent. Simon Fuller has been trying to make Now United happen for about five years now, but they've only found an audience in Brazil and Portugal.

The inconsistency of Madonna's lyrics irritates. Pat Leonard should have been on every album post Like a Prayer.

Her lyrics can be really abysmal and mortifying and those tend to be what I remember from her albums alongside the few best tracks.

American Life: Mother and Father

Confessions: I Love New York

Madame X: Killers Who Are Partying (that title!!)

Her compositions and how they are produced usually are top-notch, though, consistently across styles and producers. As are most of her videos. I think Madonna must have a real personal talent for quality control more than anything, barring her blind spot of her own awful lyrics.

I’m sure Janbot has been posting quite a few times in this thread (and probably feverishly masturbating while doing so).

I have no problem with vocal effects when used sparingly. I hate how there's no humanity in Madonna's processed vocals in the last decade.

[quote]barring her blind spot of her own awful lyrics.

But I thought Madonna doesn't write her own songs. Her detractors always say she slaps her name on song credits that she didn't write. But now you're telling me she writes awful lyrics.

She does both. "Nothing Fails" existed as "Silly Thing." The Jem demo is out there. Madonna changed a line, as I recall, and she was rewarded with the lead songwriter credit.

Surprised that Stepin Fetchit is more popular now in UK than Madonna.

Madonna's album costs £24.99+ Steps Album costs £11.99

A massive cost difference, not that I give a fuck about either of them.

Madge priced herself out of a sale for me. If it had been £10 cheaper I’d have probably gone for it. But life is expensive enough at the moment.

Don't judge me but I was in Asda earlier. Madonna's album is there in a cheap cardboard sleeve and the version there only had 1 cd, about 16 tracks and the most recent ones were not huge hits.

It's a compilation of Billboard Number Ones on the Dance Chart. The Dance chart is compiled from a survey of D.J.'s. It's not a Sales chart.

[quote]Madonna has refused to be a heritage act

Wrong. She’s been regurgitating her old shit for years now. She’s a legacy act. Her new stuff doesn’t sell so she always falls back on the old shit.

[quote]Madonna's album costs £24.99

Honey, the regular version is $10. Stop. It’s been out for months. The one you’re citing is the deluxe version.

[quote]Madonna wasn't *just* a pop star, she was an artist.

No, dear. lol

Madonna hasn’t had a hit song in the UK in 13 years.

[Quote] Madonna has refused to be a heritage act

Well, she is now because that new record deal was with Rhino and Rhino only does reissues or novelties like soundtracks. There's no new music coming as part of that contract. Madame X was her Swan song.

Rhino is owned by Warner.

I take it the blond male Step came out as gay? I liked a few of their hits in the video bars, at the turn of the century.

R143 honey, it's the £24.99 50 track version that debuted at #3 on the UK chart. The shorter version had a streaming-only release in June and only just went on sale at the same time as the full version.

JanBot always lies.

Who cares about sales rankings when the music is no good?

At least these are only remixes, but this release rivals Beyoncé for promises of happydancetime that went kerplunk upon delivery.

It's an expensive remix album of 50 songs, many already previously released, NOT a new studio album and there are no new songs, no videos, no tv performances or even tv interviews from Madonna in the UK and aside from Fallon, anywhere to promote it

I say it's doing excellent on the charts

In fact, Warner's when they announced it a few months back only made so many copies and they sold out everywhere in pre orders that they had to make more copies

It's already the highest charting remix album by a female artist ever on the UK, JLO's 2002 remix album peaked at #4 in the UK, that had a smash new single to promote it

By comparison, Madonna's previous remix album, You Can Dance, peaked at #5 in the UK in 1987

That was released during her peak and had a brand new song that had heavy airplay to promote it (Spotlight)

She has already out peaked that album with this set

It's also globally the #1 selling album worldwide this week, more than Steps, which is insane as it's a remix album that was only supposed to have soany copies printed and only appeal to her hardcore fans

It also tells you how bad current music it

Don't let facts mess us your narrative OP

It sold more than Beyonce's new album last week? Interesting...

It's no secret the Brits have terrible taste in music, R145.

Madonna was to appear on Top of the Pops. Now she’s on Top of the Flops.

R155 that’s clever, Janbot, I see what you did there. Genius.

Just have to say that I first learned about Steps from DL and really love them. Bright, snappy disco pop. I’m a fan.

Lee never ages.

H seems bitter.

One of the girls, Faye appeared in the UK version of Strictly Come Dancing, she was very gracious and seemed committed to the process. She was also paired with the show's resident stud.

One of my favourite dances they did....

Faye is wonderful. I always preferred her voice to Big Claire who often belted for no reason. Lisa has a really tinny voice which is fine on its own (Lately is a bop).

Steps: The Reunion is on YouTube.

From about 25 minutes in is the really juicy stuff. Faye complaining that she was being sidelined in favour of H, H saying that wasn't because he was fucking the group's manager, Lisa and Faye crying. Claire being a cunt, Lee pondering his existence, Lisa's dramatic pauses.

How in the world does a thread about Madonna keep being steered toward a random pop group? Madonna is a solo American pop star/singer songwriter who has been around since the late 70s and became a global sensation and they are a British pop group that formed in the late 90s who almost no one in the US has ever heard of. Of all people to compare to her, they're a weird choice. Abba maybe. Maybe Ace of Base. But Madonna? Why?

I suppose one COULD call a hits compilation by a senior citizen heritage artist a "new album" but it's not very kind.

[quote]How in the world does a thread about Madonna keep being steered toward a random pop group? Madonna is a solo American pop star/singer songwriter who has been around since the late 70s and became a global sensation and they are a British pop group that formed in the late 90s who almost no one in the US has ever heard of. Of all people to compare to her, they're a weird choice. Abba maybe. Maybe Ace of Base. But Madonna? Why?

Did you read the thread title which states Madonna was outsold by Steps?

Steps being the group that people are discussing in a thread which namechecks them. A group which contained an annoying homosexual, a dull and needy girl, an obnoxious girl with eating issues, a lovely radiant goddess and a guy who did nothing but was reasonably attractive.

So the thread is a successful effort by Steps's public relations consultant to stir up word-of-mouth publicity...

LOL...

Being #1 on the UK charts is like coming in 2nd place in the fifth grade sack race.

[quote]So the thread is a successful effort by Steps's public relations consultant to stir up word-of-mouth publicity...

I think the thread is one in a long line of MADONNA IS SHIT threads

As I posted earlier in the thread Steps have released 3 greatest hits albums over the last 3 decades - 2001, 2011, 2022 - and they've all gone to number one. Steps are available to do a huge amount if publicity to promote their products. Madonna doesn't care that much.

If Madonna released a greatest hits album, a greatest hits tour and promoted the shit out then she'd be number one for weeks.

The UK music market is the third largest in the world, R166.

Faye is a muscial theatre talent for the regions. Goddess?! Mary!

Yes, Faye is a goddess.

No. She's competent. And bland.

The Madonna album just really appeared, no publicity outside of one US interview. It did fine considering. If she’d really been desperate for Number one rankings she’d have got off her fake baboon ass and promoted it. It probably had limited appeal too because it’s dance remixes, a genre that is pretty niche really. If she’d selected a dozen or so old hits and created new orchestral arrangements it would likely have sold extremely well.

Poor Vadgestans. They can't cope with the fact that their queen's reign is over. This is karma for being so fucking nasty to other pop stars over the years as if there should only be one (i.e., Madonna).

[quote] The Madonna album just really appeared, no publicity outside of one US interview. It did fine considering. If she’d really been desperate for Number one rankings she’d have got off her fake baboon ass and promoted it.

She did. She did television, magazine spreads and interviews for it.

She even threw and steamed an entire roller disco for it with Nile Rogers who also did a huge interview with her for a magazine.

Flop? ahahahahahahahaha

Cunt, you wish. For a fucking remix (and expensive) collection, it was number 1 in hard sales in the US for the week. She scored a record breaking top 10 album. She set records all over the world. So STFU you jealous, tired broken records (ha see what I did?).

It is a REMIX album, not a GREATEST HITS. I’m not buying it (I hate remixes) and I love the bitch.

[quote]The UK music market is the third largest in the world

That says it all. China and India each have 1.4 BILLION people yet England with a measly 50 million is third.

It simply means you don't have to put much effort in to have a charting single.

Block 170 and this thread collapses. A Madonna hater talking to itself. They’ve had 76 replies!!!!!!!!

174, 175 and on and on. Talking to itself. Wow.

[Quote] It simply means you don't have to put much effort in to have a charting single.

And yet Miss Sheena Easton couldn't buy a hit after her initial year or so of success in her native UK.

Sheena came to America to become a tart.

No, R177. It means the Indian and Chinese markets are undeveloped.

H is the one that posts ass shots of himself lying naked in a public tanning bed...gross.

This album (yes, it's just a bunch of remixes many fans already have somewhere, on old Maxi-Singles and such) has had a messy release. There was a single disc, abridged version released back in June, and the 3-disc, full version released in August. I am guessing the single disc version was the one they anticipated selling more units, because it is cheaper than the 3-disc. But why she didn't record anything new for it as a selling point seems like a missed opportunity. But I guess it really just is, at its core, a collection of remixes that did well on the dance/club charts (whatever that means). There are a few "single" versions included, so some songs are not even remixes, per se. Just slightly different than the album versions.

Anyway, this collection doesn't seem like anything that would appeal to the hardcore fans and, yes, those are dwindling in number. So sales likely wouldn't be high. Also, I am tired of so many versions of albums being released (it's not just Madonna doing it). Super Deluxe, Deluxe, Extended editions, etc. Just fucking release one album with everything you want and leave it there. I get that there is an appeal to collectors to have multiple versions, but just keep it to one and then put it out on CD, vinyl and digital formats.

Remixes??? Really, if they can't get it right the first time, fuck them.

I love Steps and want Lee to sit on my face.

Seed my sloppy hole Lee

Big Claire from Steps: opposes foreign people coming into the country

Madonna: adopts foreign people and brings them into the country

People claim Madonna is such an attention whore so this would have been the perfect time for her to be out on every show and just do tons of PR. She didn’t.

Her and WBR have mended fences but they’re still a terrible record company. They’ve never supported her(or Prince) like other record companies do their artists like buy awards, PR fluff pieces in every newspaper/entertainment show/any publication, make other celebs under their corporate umbrella praise the fuck out of them. So many record companies do this to the nth degree. That said, they’ll rescue her streaming numbers since she’s been without a company she’s been in limbo with no one pushing her music on all the platforms. What numbers she has are organic.

I love her and her music is second to none, but she’s become her own worst enemy.

The contents of the single disc were released to streaming only in June. No physical product was released until August, R184. The limited 6 vinyl release ($135) sold out in days and is currently getting anywhere from $700 to $1000 online.

R184 if you’ve heard any of the recent dozen “remixes” she did of Frozen and Material Girl, it’s actually a blessing she didn’t create new material for the compilation.

R184 here, my bad! I thought there was a physical release of the single disc. Apologies!

Michael Stipe recently praised Madonna saying she is a great lyricists and overall artist. Barry Manilow did a podcast all about Madonna (google it) where he praised her songwriting and her voice saying her voice is way underrated.

Waiting/hesitating, Dork/New York.

R194 And you could look at many Beatles songs with simplistic lyrics. Madonna wrote masterpieces like Live To Tell, Like A Prayer and on and on. You know it. You aren’t going to convince anyone here otherwise because they know the truth. She is widely respected for her songwriting including melodies.

[quote] Her and WBR have mended fences but they’re still a terrible record company.

WBR no longer exists, dear. It’s Warner Records, different company.

Madonnas writing has always been juvenile. She’ll change a word or a lyric to get credit. Everything else is stolen. She’ll take songs to another producer and present them as if she wrote them. Then that producer adds their two cents. It’s a big scam and she’s payed dearly for it out of court settlements a million times.

Even the cunty David Foster said Madonna was a great songwriter and the only singer he’s worked with who actually earned a producer credit. When you see who he has written for it is massive shade.

The Foster tracks are rather dull from a production standpoint. I hate "One More Chance."

[quote]H is the one that posts ass shots of himself lying naked in a public tanning bed...gross.

Which is nothing compared to what Grandma Ciccone posts.

H's crime is that no Steps fan found him fuckable. Jon from S Club 7 knows his pain.

R200 ooooooo you called her grandma!

[Quote] H is the one that posts ass shots of himself lying naked in a public tanning bed...gross.

Call me impressed when he sprouts a tree out of his vagina. That's ART. It's what I DO.

Everything she's done for the last 10 years has flopped.

R204 JFC you trolls just can’t let her go. WHO FUCKING CARES if she’s had a hit in 10 years after having a billion classic hits. Oh WOW, burn. She’s old? Holy shit REALLY? No one ever would have known.

Meanwhile your favorite cunt Lady G hasn’t had a real hit album since 2011 in 15 years except for a soundtrack 5 years ago! Who has no real classics and laughable, forgotten hits.

Who will make Madonna a grandmother first?

I knew she should have gone with the title "Rockin' to the Oldies"!

Could r205 sound more pathetically and shrilly defensive?

R208 Projection at its most revealing.

R208 Is the Ancient White Fags troll. Block and look.

"Who will make Madonna a grandmother first?"

That was me. But I left it in a trash can at the prom.

[Quote] I left it in a trash can at the prom.

I wish you'd told me. I could have made it my album cover.

The David Foster shade was at those divas he’s worked with who demanded a producer credit but didn’t earn it like Madonna.

A little surprised the new album is #1 in Billboard. Madame X debuted at #2 but didn't get higher, if I recall right.

Madame X was #1.

Rebel Heart debuted at #2, not Madame X. RH was #1 in sales, but was edged out in single streaming by the Empire soundtrack by 1,000 units. I think it’s sad when streaming is considered sales and it is so manipulated.

Aren't sales manipulated too?

You have to redeem the concert bundle ever since Prince first did it and concert tix counted as sales of his album. They changed the rules after that.

[quote] People claim Madonna is such an attention whore so this would have been the perfect time for her to be out on every show and just do tons of PR. She didn’t.

I'm confused by what I am reading here. Madonna used to be mostly 'above' TV talk shows. It was an event when she did Letterman and she shunned most of the rest.

YouTube has been foisting in front of me lots of recent TV and online interviews over the past couple of weeks, presumably to promote this release. She was on Fallon, Kimmel, yada yada. And she seemed either drugged or crazy.

R219 She was not on Kimmel. Only Fallon. You think that is attention whoring?

I can't tell the late night Jimmies apart.

R221 I love her. She’s one of the greats. I agree she seems out of it. Not drugged. Don’t be ridiculous. She’s lost her mind but IDK why. Still, I still have the music, tours, looks, history. She’s immortalized regardless of her current actions.

Her album flopped almost as fast as Janet Jackson's tits.

R223 Dude calm down. It was a fucking REMIX album that is #1 WW and she set several records including in the USA. But sure, a flop.

One things for certain, R205 and R208 are both bottoms who haven't been fucked in a very long time.

I think Madonna limits her television appearances because she can't control how she'll end up looking. I bet she never does another sit down, one on one interview again.

R226 Are you truly this stupid? JFC you Madonna haters have got to be the dumbest mother fuckers in existence. You don’t think arguably one of the most famous woman in history can’t control her fucking image on a late night TV show or ANY TV show? This is the point you’re making? You actually typed that out and thought, yeah, that totes makes sense and clicked POST? Were you a botched abortion?

R227 Thanks for the giggles. I once worked with an older queen who was hilariously histrionic. He was a nice guy until *anything* flipped his switch, at which time he would jump up and flail his hands around and wail hysterically in exactly the same tone in which you type. I was young and embarrassed by his behavior because all the girls in the office thought he was funny in the way Jack from Will & Grace was funny, an uncontrollable exaggerated gay stereotype. But reading your post, knowing you're serious and whipping your hands up in a frenzy, your kaftan draperies flying every which way, brings back a warm feeling of nostalgia about that old queen.

Thank you for the little moments of joy.

Please accept this little offering as a token of gratitude. Buy yourself a majestic new gown.

R178 Thanks. I love blocking OCD cutting trolls. Worst part of DL is the OCD cunts.

R228 Tries too hard. Way too hard. That is epic projection.

R230 before and after hitting 'post.'

R231 Epic projection

Marys to the left of me, Marys to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with Mary.

[quote] A little surprised the new album is #1 in Billboard.

It’s not. Nice try, Vadge.

She’s scared shitless to release a new album because Billboard banned your bundling albums, which is how she was getting her #1s.

[quote]Michael Stipe recently praised Madonna saying she is a great lyricists and overall artist. Barry Manilow did a podcast all about Madonna (google it) where he praised her songwriting and her voice saying her voice is way underrated.

[quote]Even the cunty David Foster said Madonna was a great songwriter and the only singer he’s worked with who actually earned a producer credit. When you see who he has written for it is massive shade.

Rick Nowels and Babyface, both of whom have written huge numbers of hits for and with other artists, have said how much they respect Madonna and what a great songwriter she is to work with.

Live To Tell (Pat Leonard) Take A Bow (Babyface) The Power of Goodbye and To Have And Not To Hold (Rick Nowels) are all amazing songs.

Can't we all agree on one thing you whores.............

..........despite having a great collection of songs under her belt, she just hasn't been relevant in 20 years and the quality of her music has likewise dwindled significantly over that time.

No one can say Hard Candy, MDNA, Rebel Heart or Madame X are essential listening. Their collections of sub par shite.

The success of Confessions is down to Abba and Stuart Price and even then that album is a hard pass from me.

They're collections of ^^^

She can and has written some great songs. Her creative input has been praised by multiple producers, and they didn’t have to say that. But people prefer to be completely black and white in their views. Rather than take a nuanced look at a talented but flawed person, they just pile on the hate and act like she’s more irredeemable than a Nazi war criminal. That’s the internet for you. I don’t like who she’s become (and maybe who she always was) but I can also give her credit where it’s due. She was on top of the game for decades and a person just can’t fake it for that long. She had something. I find it really sad to see where she is now, but such is life.

According to wiki she sold 14,132 units in the UK. Does that mean physical copies? Holy shit, what a paltry figure for the 'queen of pop'.

According to wiki she sold 14,132 units in the UK. Does that mean physical copies? Holy shit, what a paltry figure for the 'queen of pop'.

I don't think Madonna ever made an essential album, so her prime era has that in common with her past-her-prime era. I think "Ghosttown" is a very good pop song. If it had been the single from, say, "Something To Remember," it probably would have been a big hit. "Masterpiece," not so much.

True Blue, Like a Prayer and Ray of Light —at the very least—will always be considered essential pop albums whether you like it or not.

No album with Love Makes The World Go Round can be considered essential. What is that dreadful duet with Prince called? Candy Perfume Shite... The list goes on... Madonna has never made an album without filler.

Like a Prayer, minus the Prince duet and that ridiculous garbage at the end of side 2 would make this her strongest album. As it is, Ray of Light has the edge.

Does anyone have a favourite Steps album track?

I'd go for Make It Easy On Me, a cover of the Stock Aitken Waterman song that Sybil released as a single. Preferable to their cover of Bananarama's Movin' On.

I loved reading Q Magazine's album reviews back in the day, they dripped with sarcasm. I remember their 'look back at the 90s' edition where they were sniding over Alanis Morrissette's decision to title one of her albums 'Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie'. The Q mag reviewer said Steps had initially planned to call their new album that also but at the last minute were forced to change it to 'Steptacular'. That pretty much summed up Steps in the minds of most, the ultimate disposable fluff.

The person who said she doesn’t have an essential album. My sides! Dear, the critics disagree with you as do millions.

Oh, yeah. The critics swear by Shoo Be Doo.

R249 idiot

Bedtime Stories was a precursor in content to every one of her albums post Music. A few good songs mixed in with a pile of dross. Having said that, there isn't a single good song I could name from the Hard Candy album onwards.

Bedtime Story was critically acclaimed and a fan favorite. It had great songs. Rebel Heart was a damn good album.

You Stans rewrite history with the same acuity as Stonewall trannies.

"Bedtime Stories received generally positive reviews from music critics". Generally positive does not equate to 'critically acclaimed'.

R253 ooooooook sparky.

I love the song Bedtime Story. It's possibly my favorite Madonna song and my favorite Björk song.

I don't remember what other songs are on that album.

I also liked Rebel/Heart overall; however, I don't listen to any of its songs and I do listen to a fair amount of Madonna music. Songs like Joan of Arc and Wash All Over Me are lovely and I wish Madonna would have just matured in that general direction instead of turning into a strange sex-obsessed old seawitch with aluminum stuck in her teeth.

Isn't her head supposed to be upside down on the Bedtime Stories cover?

" It's possibly my......favorite Björk song"

Then you're clearly not a fan of Björk!

Rebel Heart was a return to form esp for someone 30 + years into their career. It is a solid album.

R257 I appreciate Björk a lot, more than I actually like listening to her music. I do love Post, and I like Joga and Bachelorette and Play Dead, some of her first album, but her voice is a little rough on my ears in the most melodic of songs, and she went *way out there* with her artistry to the point I am not even always sure how to classify it as music or if she just makes sonic art. She's truly fascinating but not the most pleasant to listen to all the time.

If only she'd got Shep to produce this with her.

POPPERS OUT HUN.

It's curious that Shep retired to run a guesthouse... Did he have a bad drug problem or something?

R244 not every track has to be a 10/10 for an album to be considered a classic. Even the least enamoured of critics would be hesitant to deny the classic status of her best albums, some of which are as good as pop music gets. I’m neither a lover or hater of her. I’m just being objective.

She’s scared shitless to release a new album because Billboard banned tour bundling albums, which is how she was getting her #1s.

But are those critics being honest or are they hedging their bets?

Her first album, LAV, TB, LAP, ROL, and COADF are considered classics to bigger or lesser extents. Erotica has been reassessed by critics who know call it her dark masterpiece.

She's largely considered a singles artist.

Madonna is the most critically acclaimed female of all time as measured by only certified critics compiled on this website.

I dismissed her—despite liking A LOT of her music—as a poor songwriter years ago, probably the very moment I first heard I Love New York.

Over the pandemic, I got sucked into a black hole of watching YouTube videos of young people reacting to music videos, and the more I watched, the more glaring it was that Madonna is an extraordinary visual performance artist. She is really unmatched. And I realized for the first time that regardless of her changes in genre and singing style and style of dress, both her songs and her videos are impeccable in quality of sound, style and concept, and there aren't any other artists who compare favorably. Michael Jackson does not. And since it is consistent across her entire career except the earliest days, with ever-changing producers and directors, that means she is the only one throughline insofar as quality control.

I think she's overrated in the sense of "SHE IS THE SMARTEST PERSON IN MUSIC," which has been the media story since the 90s, but she has certain unmatched talents. Her songs and her videos are more than the sums of their parts.

As a lyricist, she is middling. But again, more than the sum of her parts.

R268 You may feel her songwriting is middling but other songwriters do not. They have said not only is she a great lyricist she is one of the best of al time. Nile Rodgers, Patrick Leonard, Stephen Bray, David Foster, Barry Manilow, Prince, Michael Stipe, Rick Knowles, Babyface, and countless others have said this consistently.

Can you give a few examples of her great talent for lyrics, r269?

I like to singy singy singy / Like a bird on a wingy wingy wingy.

Hanky panky/nothing like a good spanky

Madonna's “Finally Enough Love” debuts at #7 on the United World Chart with 69,000 units (Media Traffic).

— It has debuted at #1 on 5 official charts (19 Top 10).

My mother died when I was five and all I did was sit and cry I cried and cried and cried all day until the neighbors went away!!

They couldn't take my loneliness. I couldn't take their phoniness!

My father had to go to work! I used to think he was a JERK!!

I will be THE GAY if THE GAY are burned.

I'll be Native Indian, if the Indian has been taken.

And I'll be a woman, if she's raped

And this was the woman who cited Anne Sexton as an influence.

Those lyrics are faux naive! FAUX NAIVE!

Why does she keep trying, I wish she’d have some self respect.

I'm drinking a Soy latte,

I get a double shottay

It goes through my bottay

And you know I'm satisfied

I drive my Mini Cooper

And I'm feeling super-dooper

Yo they tell I'm a trooper

And you know I'm satisfied

I do yoga and Pilates

And the room is full of hotties

So I'm checking out the bodies

And you know I'm satisfied

I'm digging on the isotopes

This metaphysics shit is dope

Do you like to boogie woogie?

Do you like to boogie woogie?

Do you like to boogie woogie?

Do you like my acid rock?

Well? Do you?

I’m not that kind of guy

Sometimes I feel shy

I think I can fly

Closer to the sky

Everybody comes to Hollywood

They want to make it in the neighborhood

They like the smell of it in Hollywood

How could it hurt you when it looks so good

I don’t like cities

but I like New York

Other places make me feel like a dork

When I eat barbecue

I always eat pork

But I don't eat it

No, no, no mo

I'm like, like a vegan

Hey! I touched meat for the very first time

In New York I always eat falafel

In LA I sometimes go for a waffle

Sometimes I really want a burger somethin' awful

That's why I love New York!

R279 just beat me to it. So....

And then I discovered

It couldn't get worse

You were building my coffin

You were driving my hearse

We go hard or we go home

We gon' do this all night long

We get freaky if you want

Bitch I'm Madonna

Bitch, bitch, I'm Madonna

Bitch, bitch, I'm Madonna

We're jumping in the pool and swimming with our clothes on

I poured a beer into my shoe and got my freak on

The neighbor's pissed and says he's gonna call the Five-O

If they show up then we are gonna give a good show

The room is spinning

It must be the tanqueray

I'm about to go astray, my inhibition's gone away

I feel like sinning

You got me in the zone

DJ play my favorite song, turn me on

Lyrics from a new song she wrote for her biopic have leaked:

When I was very young,

Nothing really mattered to me

But making myself happy

But then I had my little one

I named her Lola 'cause she's sick sweet

And then the boy I called Rocco

'Cause his daddy's uncut cock, oh

So hard, Baby, so hard

And then I went to Mauritan'ya

And I went shoppin' for some strangas

Couldn't find none, so I jetted to Malawi

And all those babies, wowzer, wowwie zowie!

I found my family

I found my heart

Rebelled like Basquiat

Against social norms

Sucked his dick too

And didn't get any worms

Saw baby David

And I took him in my arms

And I knew it was love

Love at first sight

My favorite baby

My favorite kid

Dark as deepest Africa

Fuck the rest of them bitches!

—from "My One True Love"

I thought you were good

But you painted me bad

Compared to the others

You're the best thing I had

Bang bang, shot you dead

Bang bang, shot you dead

I made a decision,

I would never look back

So how did you end up

With all my jack?

Bang bang, shot you dead

Bang bang, shot you dead in the head

Singer, songwriter, dancer, musician, actress, author, model, philanthropist, director, fashion designer, screenwriter, businesswoman, record label owner, NFT artist, mother........

Is there no beginning to this woman's talents?

Don't tell me to stop

Tell the rain not to drop

Tell the wind not to blow

'Cause you said so,

hmm mhm!

Tell the sun not to shine

Not to get up this time, no, no

Let it fall by the way

But don't leave me where I lay down

I like horse

I like horse

Clop clop clop

Horse is good

Riding like the wind

Wind in my hair

Never gonna stop

Lift your body up

I ride horse

Horse go fast

Fast, fast horse

Won't come in last

Riding like the wind

Wind in my hair

Never gonna stop

Lift your body up

Mm mmm!

Life as an equestrian!

Mm mmm!

Better than a thespian!

Mmm mmm!

Turn up the radio!

Mmm mmm!

This bitch rides bareback!

Riding like the wind

Wind in my hair

Never gonna stop

Lift your body up

[quote]Can you give a few examples of her great talent for lyrics, [R269]?

Just listen to the Something To Remember album.

Some saddo has hijacked this thread and they don’t want to contribute to any actual discussion, they just want to troll. Why so much hate? If I don’t like any artist there’s no way I’d spend so much time on there.

Counterpoint, “Wash all Over me”, my favourite track from Rebel Heart. At this point the singles she’s releasing aren’t anywhere near as good as some of the album deep cuts. I love this one.

In a world that's changing I'm a stranger in a strange land There's a contradiction And I'm stuck here in between Life is like a desert An a oasis to confuse me So I walk this razors edge Will I stand or will I fall? Turn a blind eye, try to pretend that nothing is what it seems Torn between the impulse to stay or running away from all this madness

Who am I To decide what should be done If this is the end then let it come Let it come Let it rain Rain all over me Like the tide, let it flow Let it wash all over me Over me Let it wash all over me Over me Let it wash all over me

All of my illusions Could be shattered in a second You could thread a needle with a teardrop from my eyes It's a cruel injustice to be witness to the things I see Looking for the answer when it's right in front of me From the Tower of Babylon where nothing is what it seems Gonna watch the sun going down I'm not gonna run from all this sadness Who am I To decide what should be done If this is the end then let it come Let it come Let it rain Rain all over me Like the tide, let it flow Let it wash all over me

^ ugh the lyrics did not format right. Oh well, fuck it.

R293 I like the vibe of Wash All Over Me, which I said above, but reading the lyrics you wrote out as evidence she is a brilliant songwriter only emphasizes how flat and generic her lyrics can be...with occasional exceptions. Here's one:

[quote] "You could thread a needle with a teardrop from my eyes"

What?

What?

That's...terrible. I can only assume the lyric is meant to refer to the parable of the rich man and the eye of a needle, but it makes no sense. Her lyric basically says "I have teardrops as thin and viscous as sewing thread." It's poor and strange writing.

[quote] I like the vibe of Wash All Over Me, which I said above, but reading the lyrics you wrote out as evidence she is a brilliant songwriter only emphasizes how flat and generic her lyrics can be...with occasional exceptions. Here's one:

Can you provide examples of lyricists you consider to be brilliant?

R296 Sure!

Tori Amos, "Your Cloud"

[quote] Where the river cross crosses the lake/Where the words jump off my pen and into your pages/Do you think, just like that, you can divide this/You as yours, me as mine, two before we were us/If the rain has to separate from itself/Does it say, "Pick out your cloud"/Pick out your cloud/If there is a horizontal line/That runs from the map off your body/Straight through the land/Shooting up right through my heart/Will this horizontal line/When asked know how to find/Where you end, where I begin/Pick out your cloud/How light can play and form a ring/Of rain that can change bows into arrows/Who we were isn't lost before we were us/Indigo in his own, blue always knew this

Joni Mitchell, "A Case of You"

[quote] Oh, I am a lonely painter/I live in a box of paints/I'm frightened by the devil/And I'm drawn to thise ones that ain't afraid/I remember that time you said "Love is touching souls"/Surely, you touched mine/'Cause part of you pours out of me/In these lines from time to time"

Today, producers and songwriters generally say Taylor Swift is a real songwriting talent and I have some criticisms—she always seems to leave behind a scarf or gloves that smell like her to the unnamed "him" of the song, for example—but some of her lyrics are really touching and also well crafted, such as "Treacherous":

[quote] I can't decide if it's a choice/Getting swept away/I hear the sound of my own voice/Asking you to stay/And all we are is skin and bone/Trained to get along/Forever going with the flow/But you're friction/This slope is treacherous/This path is reckless/This slope is treacherous/I, I, I like it/Two headlights shine through the sleepless night/And I will get you, and get you alone/Your name has echoed through my mind/And I just think you should, think you should know/That nothing safe is worth the drive /And I would follow you, follow you home/I'll follow you, follow you home/This hope is treacherous/This daydream is dangerous/This hope is treacherous/I I I, I I I, I I I, I like it

I think these lyrics are great.

Some Madonna songs stand out to me as sophisticated in their own kind of way—Take a Bow primarily comes to mind—but most of her lyrics are written at a fifth grade reading comprehension level and either relate very simple emotional states with no subtext or else they are just painfully awkward and could invite contemplation ("I will be the gay if the gay is persecuted," the teardrop through the needle metaphor disaster) but that never works to her favor when you do try to make sense of her attempts at profound thought or artistic lyricism.

Fiona Apple:

[quote] Oh, your love gives me a heart contusion/Adagio breezes fill my skin with sudden red/Your hungry flirt borders intrusion/I'm building memories on things we have not said/Full is not heavy as empty, not nearly, my love/Not nearly, my love, not nearly/Give me the first taste/Let it begin, heaven cannot wait forever/Darling, just start the chase, I'll let you win/But you must make the endeavor

[quote] I let the beast in and then/I even tried forgiving him, but it's too soon/So I'll fight again, again, again, again, again/And for a little while more/I'll soar the uneven wind, complain and blame the sterile land/But if you're getting any bright ideas, quiet dear/I'm blooming within

Madonna is the most important artist of our time.

Madonna is the most important songwriter of our time.

Madonna is the Queen of Pop.

Madonna.

Ridiculous, R300.

Everyone knows THE great artist of our time is...LOLA!

Her lyrics changed my life:

Mmmph mumble mumble

Yeah yeah mmm mmm

Mumble mumble

Mmm Baby yeahh mumble

Beyoncé is a close second:

Ass gettin' bigger/Racks gettin' bigger/Cash gettin' larger/He thought he was loving me good, I told him, "Go harder"/She thought she was killin' that shit, I told her, "Go harder"/Just look at this alkaline wrist 'cause I got that water/Ass getting thiquer/Cash getting thiquer That's that thique, that's that real shit/That's that jelly, baby, champagne and cherry, baby/That's that thique, that's that ball drop/That's that keep going, that's that never stop/That's that thique, that's that na-na, that oochy coochy, la, la/Yeah, this that Fiji agua, candy girl piñata/Hit it in the car and take you back to the casa/Bet I got you rock now, that thique all over the yacht, now

Kanye West, lyrical genius extraordinaire, has 22 Grammys.

A Nobel for literature can't be far away.

You could thread a needle with a Poopy Scoop from his eye!

Madonna, Beyonce, Nicki and Kanye are better writers than James Baldwin.

"Can you provide examples of lyricists you consider to be brilliant?" says R296

From the 'legends' category:

Kate Bush

Bowie

Serge Gainsbourg

Patti Smith

Bruce Springsteen

(yes I know, the above are diverse as fuck, but still)

From the 'they have their moments' category

George Michael

Morrissey

Lauren Hill

Stevie Nicks

Dolly Parton

Noel Gallagher

Kurt Cobain

Prince

From the 'underrated genius'

Tracy Chapman

Yes, I know, it's a random list but those would be my go to for a song requiring a proper listen, not just background fluff

She was a party girl / Stayed up till the small hours / Now she's embarrassing / And everybody laughs / At the girl with the face / That could drive her baby wild / Now wasn't she the child / With everything?

You should've seen her / With her head held high / Now what do pretty girls do? / She used to be the apple of his eye / Now what do pretty girls do? /

They get older / Just like every body else / She never thought she'd have to / Take care of her self

Two religiously themed self-realization/survival songs by Tori & Madge:

"Climb over the church wall" he said/"You can feed the koi in the pond/Climb over the church wall in your Sunday dress/Be sure to feed the koi in the pond"/It's a long long climb going back in time/All of me wants to be believe/That the angels will find me Saint Veronica/All of me wants to be believe/That somehow you will save me Saint Veronica/He said "Kneel before your judges in reverence/Your penance for the woman you'll become/You knew if you talked there'd be a consequence/Your sentence for the woman you'll become"/Ten days of hell in Satan's cell/Dream of dimensions/Then cross through the veil to them/Wrap yourself in linen holding Jesus close/Calling Saint/Calling Saint/Saint Veronica/"Climb out of the belly of the beast" she said/"Become a witness out of the abyss/The temple of the soul will have to heal the flesh/Only when you're whole can you forgive/But it's a long long climb/It's a long long climb"

Take my sins and wash them away/Teach me how to pray/I've been stranded here in the dark/Take these walls away/I've been swimming in the ocean/'Til I'm almost drowned/Give me something I can believe in/Teach me how to pray/And we can do drugs and we can smoke weed and we can drink whiskey/Yeah, we can get high and we can get stoned/And we can sniff glue and we can do E and we can drop acid/Forever be lost with no way home/Yeah, we can run and we can hide/But we won't find the answers/If you go down then you'll get help along the way/But if you want to save your soul/Then we should travel all together/And make the devil pray/Ooh save my, ooh save my, ooh save my/Devil's here to fool ya/Ooh save my, ooh save my, ooh save my/Devil's here to fool ya/Mother Mary, can't you help me/'Cause I've gone astray/All the angels that were around me Have all flown away/The ground beneath my feet's getting warmer/Lucifer is near/Holding on, but I'm getting weaker/Watch me disappear/And we can do drugs and we can smoke weed and we can drink whiskey/Yeah, we can get high and we can get stoned And we can sniff glue and we can do E and we can drop acid/Forever be lost with no way home/Yeah, we can run and we can hide/But we won't find the answers/If you go down then you'll get help along the way/But if you want to save your soul/Then we should travel all together/And make the devil pray

"Cars and Guitars" by Tori Amos, 2005

[quote] If I choke, boy, you start me up again/Restring my wires, you know this gearbox can make the shift polish my rims/Damned if you do, damned if you don't/I swear it seems of late, boy, I've even curved this body to fit your bow/Still the rain can't confuse the thoughts that come, come in rhythm/'Cause it never was the cars and guitars that came between us/Still a thought says what if I keep on driving, keep on driving/"Yeah, that whip has skirt, " you said it proud/Sometimes I'd watch her idle while you'd tune her up, me with my silencer on/You and your crocodile clip, me and my alligator pears, yeah/All tricked out for the spin/Still the rain can't confuse the thoughts that come, come in rhythm/'Cause it never was the cars and guitars that came between us/Still a thought says what if I keep on driving, keep on driving/You say that "I miss you"/You stop in at my drive through/You know who you'll order some, some, boy/'Cause it never was the cars and guitars that came between us/Still a thought says what if I keep on driving, keep on driving, keep on driving

"Body Shop" by Madonna, 2015

[quote] With all these curves we might need to have the brakes looked at/So pop the hood and see what's good I need a tune-up bad/My precious love, I'm on a roll but my transmission's blown/I heard a thump and then a knock/I hear you work at a body shop/I hear you work at a body shop/You can keep it overnight/You can do whatever you like/Working overtime/Working on the line/You can polish the headlights/You can smooth out the fender/You can start the ignition/We can go on a bender/Stuck to the seat, our body heat, what will you do with all of this ass/Let's shift a gears, get outta here, we're steppin' on the gas/We gotta bounce, we're goin fast, let's let the seat go back/You take the wheel, I'll sit on top/I hear you work at a body shop/I hear you work at a body shop/You can keep it overnight/You can do whatever you like/Working overtime/Working on the line/Overheating the engine/Might be blowing a gasket/Tighten up the suspension/And you don't have to ask it/I would drive to the ends of the earth for you/Jumpstart my heart, you know what you gotta do/I would ride through the dark of the night with you/Cross my heart and hope to die it's true

And comparing a few sociopolitical ones...

Tori Amos, Father's Son, 2007

[quote] Steady, girl, on your feet/You and your wanderings/Bread can feed a few/So can some cartoons/So it ends, so it begins/I'm my father's son/Plant another seed of hate/In a trusting virgin gun/Steady, girl, for the show/God versus God ringside/Littered with corpses/Neither God can forgive/So the desert blooms/Strawberry cactus/Can you blame nature/if she's had enough of us?/Steady, boy, watch them pray/To you, I suspect/If you keep my flesh firm/I'll ready those sacraments/So it ends/So it begins/I'm my father's son/Plant a seed of hate/In another father's son

Madonna, God Control, 2019

[quote] Everybody knows the damn truth/Our nation lied, we lost respect/When we wake up, what can we do?/Get the kids ready, take them to school/Everybody knows they don't have a chance/To get a decent job, to have a normal life/When they talk reforms, it makes me laugh/They pretend to help, it makes me laugh/I think I understand why people get a gun/I think I understand why we all give up/Every day they have a kind of victory/Blood of innocence, spread everywhere/They say that we need love/But we need more than this/We lost God control/We lost God control/We lost God control/We lost God control/This is your wake-up call/I'm like your nightmare/I'm here to start your day/This is your wake-up call/We don't have to fall/A new democracy/God and pornography/A new democracy/People think that I'm insane/The only gun is in my brain/Each new birth, it gives me hope/That's why I don't smoke that dope/Insane people think I am/Brain inside, my only friend/Hope it gives me birth each new/That dope I don't smoke, it's true/Everybody knows the damn truth/Everybody knows the damn truth (wake up)/We need to wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up/Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up/We need to make up, make up, make up, make up/Make up, make up, make up, make up, make up, make up/It's a hustle, yeah/It's a hustle/It's a con/It's a hustle/It's a weird kind of energy/A bizarre thing that happens to be/An abnormal fraternity/And I feel more than sympathy/We need to wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up/Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up/We need to make up, make up, make up, make up/Make up, make up, make up, make up, make up, make up/People think that I'm insane/The only gun is in my brain/Each new birth, it gives me hope/That's why I don't smoke that dope/Insane people think I am/Brain inside, my only friend/Hope it gives me birth each new/That dope I don't smoke, it's true

Tori Amos, Pancake, 2001

[quote] I'm not sure who's fooling who here/As I'm watching your decay/We both know you could deflate/A seven hurricane/Seems like you and your tribe/Decided you'd rewrite the law/Segregate the mind/From body, from soul/You give me yours, I'll give you mine/'Cause I can look your god right in the eye/You give me yours, I'll give you mine/You used to look my god right in the eye/I believe in defending/In what we once stood for/It seems in vogue/To be a closet misogynist homophobe/A change of course but not direction/A dash of truth, spread thinly/Like a flag on a pop star/On a Benzodiazapene/You give me yours, I'll give you mine/'Cause I can look your god right in the eye/You give me yours, I'll give you mine/You used to look my god right in the eye/Oh Zion please/Remove your glove/And dispel every/Trace/Of his spoken word/That has lodged/In my vortex/I'm not sure who's fooling who here/As I'm watching our decay/We both know you could deflate/A seven hurricane/You could have spared her, oh but no/Messiahs need people dying in their name/You could have spared her, oh but no/Messiahs need people dying in their name/You say, "I ordered you a pancake"/You say, "I ordered you a pancake"

Did Madonna write Oh Father? Or was it a case of adding her name after Pat Leonard did the heavy lifting.

That was one of her better efforts.

I suspect Pat Leonard (re-)wrote lyrics based on their conversations.

"Rescue Me" is her best lyric. Only she and Shep Pettibone are credited.

R261 The Empress Hotel (Gay) and Paradise Club (Gay) in Ashbury seem like gay Jersey Shore heaven to me.

Does Madonna see a therapist?

Can you imagine being privy to narcissism on levels never before experienced by a trained professional.

Madonna and Carrie Fisher talk about attending the same therapist in their Vanity Fair interview(s) from around the time of Dick Tracy. Holy shit, Carrie had her work cut out for her trying to banter with a vulgarian like Madonna.

It is true that all the best songwriters have said they can't hold a candle to Madonna's poetic prowess.

Carole King:

[quote] To be honest, I almost gave up, almost retired years ago. I heard this song by Madonna—I don't remember the name of it, but one of my best buddies sent it to me and was like, 'you have to listen to this, C.' So I pop in the CD. "I like to singy singy singy, like a bird on the wingy wingy wingy." Well. I was, I was just gobsmacked. How—I asked myself—how could I ever write another lyric and think it's any good after that? But as time went on, I told myself it's not impossible, just a new bar to reach for, a new height. Maybe before I die I will tap into that same source that illuminates Madonna.

Alicia Keys:

[quote] So, I was like, gonna write this song about New York, right? To be honest, my label asked for it. And I think, Cool! I can do dis! I love New York! I got a New York state of mind! And I get working on it, and I think it's pretty cool, right? And so I play it for a buddy, this guy, queer kid, he wants me to call him queer, that's not me being mean, and anyway, he's like, 'HEY! That reminds me of this song by Madonna!' Now, I'm not like Madonna's BIGGEST fan, you know what I mean? That's what I'm thinking. But the kid forces me to listen. OK, girl, just be polite and listen. So I listen. Fuck. My. Life. Have you heard "I Love New York" by Madonna? She wrote THE New York City song, man! How'm I supposed to compete with that? Dude! She said every other city makes her feel like a dork! And what am I supposed to say? So you know what? I wrote my New York song in 29 minutes. Because what's the point when Madonna's song is out there? Someone wants the good song, they'll license from Madonna. Want affordable? Call my people. In school, they made me play Bach, Rachmaninoff, they made me read Joyce, Toni Morrison, Vonnegut. Why not Madonna? Dude. Sexism, you know what I mean? Madonna is the man.

[Quote] I wrote my New York song in 29 minutes.

No hesitating? Good going, stranger!

I can't tell if Carole King and Alicia Keys are being super facetious or not ^^^^

The Madonna Lyricist Troll needs to get a fucking life.

R318 The Madonna fanatic troll above who keeps insisting all living songwriters and producers worship Madonna as the best living writer asked for specific examples of other artists who are better writers.

Hence, the birth of the lyrics troll.

Nobel winner Bob Dylan also has praised Madonna's writing:

[quote] My son Jacob decided to be a musician, a songwriter. I told him it's a tough business. He said he can handle it. OK. So he's down in the basement playing this song about driving in a car with one burned out headlight. OK, fine. I get in my car and go for a drive. This song, Body Shop, comes on. By Madonna. Fucking brilliant! The woman's a poet. And all of a sudden, I just picture myself bashing my son in the head with a shovel until it's just raspberry pulp and skull shrapnel everywhere. I know, that's terrible. But his writing, fuck, what an embarrassment to the old man. Why couldn't my wife give birth to Madonna, you know? Something to be proud of? Anyway, I'm exaggerating, I'm proud, very proud of Jake. He has a pretty face. Great eyes. Nothing but air behind them, but count your blessings, I guess.

Jay-Z, however, isn't a fan:

[quote] Madonna? That white woman? Pssssht! Don't waste my time asking me about some old has-been white woman. You know what she is? An appropriator. Know what else? WHITE. That's RACIST. Tryin' to be all black and shit and she white, just some old white lady with grills and a silly cone ass, racist old cracker bitch, fuck her with a dozen donkey dicks.

"fuck her with a dozen donkey dicks"

Honey, she's done that before breakfast each day.

R322 To be clear, it's a joke. He didn't really say that.

"Good hair, though." - Jay-Z

Shame, it's on the mark R323

When asked about Madonna's songwriting, Beyoncé said:

[quote] She all right with me. She thique, she thique, motherfucker. Thique, motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yo. Yo. Motherfucker, she rich, rich rich, she a rich white bitch and she thique—

Before she could comment further, her mother snatched the microphone and sent $5,000 via VenMo to the interviewer to keep her quiet.

This is why Beyoncé never does interviews.

I will be gay, if the gay are burned

I'll be Africa, if Africa is shut down

I will be poor, if the poor are humiliated

I'll be a child, if the children are exploited

I will be the plant, if the plant are in pots

I'll be hat, if hat is felt

I will be the mask, if the mask are shunned

I'll be lemons, if lemons are yellow

I will be Peoria, if Peoria is exit only

I'll be lambs, if lambs are silent

Like the moth to the flame

I am original

Like white on rice

My thoughts are my own

I will be the sun, if the sun are shiny

I'll be moon, if moon is leavened

I will be cookies, mm mm mm

Mmm mmm mm, if I am writer

Like the moth to the flame

I've read all the books

I create, I create

Bitch, I'm drunk

Please stop doing what you're doing

Please stop, stop movin', stop groovin'

Girl/world

She wheels that one out frequently. Despite being an elderly woman herself

It reeks of troll in here.

Well R330, the title of the thread is Madonna’s New Album Flops.

What did you expect?

Speaking of goodwill from the public towards an act, I know Britney is reviled on here but the public like to root for this utterly guileless woman.

If she released a greatest hits tomorrow it would sell shit loads.

Did Glory sell shitloads? When did Britney last have a hit?

111,000 units in its first week of release in the US ^^^^

111,000! OMG! Multi-platinum sales!!!

Certainly better than Madonna's 20 odd thousand.

Ahahahahahahahaha

Wow some troll spiraled out of control in a fit of rage at ALL those artists praising Madonna as a songwriter. Face it, she is considered to be one of the best ever. You could point out shitty lyrics from every fucking brilliant writer. Fact is all those artists praised her as one of the best songwriters (repeat).

Patrick Leonard has said over and over he doesn’t write lyrics. It’s funny when we can point out dozens and dozens of songs with great lyrics we get “oh someone else wrote that she stole it” yet when you point out daft lyrics “oh see she generic”. I love reading your rage.

Beatles: I wanna hold your hand (repeat 1000 times). Or She loves you yeah yeah yeah (repeat a 1000 times).

Stay raging Madonna haters.

You wanna see bad lyrics, read Gaga lyrics! The ones she actually wrote.

After40 years, people still talk about Madonna. Marketing genius

R338 Obsess over her, good or bad. That’s relevance.

R338, True. We hardly ever talk about Paula Abdul or Stacey Q.

Every thread about a female singer ends up dominated by discussion of Madonna, good or bad. That is relevance. That doesn’t happen for any of female.

R341 That's because Vadge trolls invade every thread to bring her up. Not because people want to talk about her. Also she embarrasses herself basically every day now just so she's talked about. If she was such a legend, she wouldn't need to be such a whore for attention.

Madonna carved out her territory. She dominated pop music charts for a couple of decades and commanded headlines. She forged new territory and in some cases personally knocked down longstanding taboos.

She gets credit for all that.

Insisting she is "relevant" when "relevant" means being of primary interest to youth culture when this is objectively untrue does her no favors. It makes her seem pathetic instead of acknowledging her place in history. If you're seeking personal relevance as a fan by insisting Madonna is in demand right now—well, that doesn't make her any more relevant, either.

There's no shame in not being Queen of Contemporary Pop in the age of Wet Ass Pussy, OnlyFans moguls and Beyoncé being praised for releasing an album of gibberish and "motherfucker motherfuck uh uh yeah motherfucker."

Let it go, let it go!

Elvis was the king of rock 'n roll, the hot young fuckmonster who scandalized America and changed its culture. But he had to keep it going beyond his years with chemical drugs and ended up fat and a joke, dead on a toilet with his fanatical followers painting creepy portraits of him on purple velvet canvases. If you really love Madonna so much, do you really want to grind her legacy into the dust by insisting she is the It Girl at 65 while she dresses like a homeless old prostitute with torn fishnets, an eye patch and a stinky joint between her fingers? Who would even want to be 'relevant' in this culture, anyway? It speaks better to her talents that she was heralded by the people of the US when we were still sane and halfway intelligent than during our downward spiral. Let it go.

No one expects Madonna to get another #1 song or have a huge selling album. No one thinks (or cares) if the “youth” like her. Though they are discovering her through YouTube and liking what they see. She can have another huge tour which could be the biggest of all time if she’s physically able to. I love her and I don’t care if she sales one more record. Her place in music will never be usurped.

Again, most acclaimed female singer of all time as from only certified critics. This goes with her being the most successful female singer of all time.

A flop is #3? I read only the headlines on the Madonna threads so have no idea what 344 posters had to say about this.