Meghan Markle ‘Archetypes’ Podcast Tops Spotify Charts, Besting Joe Rogan

Ooh, the haters aren't going to like this...

She pays people to listen to her

Sunshine Sachs buying up a load of podcasts? Giveth with one hand, taketh with the other.

^ See

It's because she's so real.

The realest!

Bless her heart.

I have been reliably informed by the Datalounge Meghan Markle experts that it was awful, full of lies, she has a terrible voice, it was uninteresting, everyone hates her, and the podcast was a thorough and complete flop. This is, therefore, fake news. Deadline has been paid off by Sunshine Sachs and someone named Scobie or something, probably.

She sent me a $100 to listen and another $100 to post it was wonderful...

It was wonderful 🙂

All I got was a lousy signed banana.

🚨 Incoming haters...

R7 do you ever grow up? You’re middle aged.

I doubt it’ll be long lived, but it’s hysterical because of the tizzy her haters will be in. They’re the ones who probably tuned in the most. I’m not a fan of hers, but they’re an insufferable lot.

I think the reviews said it all. Boring and California cliche. I would be surprised if it maintains its viewership. And complaining about being a Royal can only go so far. Not a hater. It was tedious.

@r10, I'm not middle-aged and what did I say that the haters don't actually believe is true?

An initial debut pop, this will fade quickly. No one wants to listen to this cunt every week.

It's because everyone wants to hate listen and laugh at her. And then write about it. LOL! Oh and Lipstick Alley denizens natch.

^ That's it! They're all HATE LISTENERS

Thanks for solving the mystery 🙄

Let’s check the charts in a month.

Can they both just fuck off and die in a grease fire?

I really don't give a fuck who "tops the charts". But who tuned in? Bots??? Joe Rogan may be less than smart, but he brings on interesting guests and he lets them talk. I have a feeling Meghan (an intolerable narcissist) would monologue and self promote the entire hour. All of my girl friends listen to Giggly Squad or true crime podcasts

Like Spotify couldn’t throw on the top of their own charts for publicity. Cmon this cunt used to open suitcases on Deal or No Deal, she’s not some guru.

Dear Meghan! Congratulations!

Yes, that embarrassing book, "The Bench" was on the NYT Best Seller list, too - for about 15 minutes.

But OP, of course, is missing the really sad truth exposed here: this kind of schlock shit is what Meghan goes to the top of a list for.

She couldn't make it to the top in Hollywood, she couldn't make it to the top in television, she couldn't make it to the top as a serious member of the British Royal Family . . .

What she finally gets to the "top" of is a mercilessly skewered self-referential podcast in which she and her guest come off like a pair of first formers on a sleepover.

What it is, is pathetic. This is Meghan's top speed.

Goddamn Joe Rogan has crazy eyes

It’s august. Man6 podcasters are on vacation,

[quote] What it is, is pathetic. This is Meghan's top speed.

So, so true, R22. And well put.

As a certified Meghan hater, I'm not bothered by the apparent popularity at all, just looking forward to hearing about the absurd bullshit she's spewing

Of the ones here who praise it: Who has actually heard it? Can you post the quintessence?

She's so obsessed with herself it's hilarious.

We should encourage her ego. Keep bloating it up until she’s an unbelievable monster then watch her spiral.

Does that include listeners who turned it off after 5 minutes?

Apparently a listen is regarded as a full listen if you don't turn it off within the first five minutes.

[quote] We should encourage her ego. Keep bloating it up until she’s an unbelievable monster then watch her spiral.

R29, see these from R4 and R5, respectively. They are doing us proud.

[quote] It's because she's so real.

[quote] The realest! Bless her heart.

The LA Times reports that the duchess personally rang Shannon Keith, an animal rights lawyer — I'd love to know who pays her bills; bet she doesn't come cheep — who runs the dog rescue facility where Mamma Mia was kennelled.

'She calls on my cell with no Caller ID and says: 'Hey Shannon, this is Meghan.' We talked for 30 minutes, and I thought: 'Is this Megan Fox?'

Oh dear. It is charming that the duchess believes herself to be a no-introduction-needed, one-name ultra-celebrity in the same league as Oprah, Adele, Beyonce and Kermit, but the truth is that for many Americans, she stubbornly remains anonymous rather than mononymous.

Still, how lovely to open up her home to another dumb mutt with barking issues. Just imagine poor Mamma Mia, whimpering around the Montecito mansion, paws over her silky ears, as Meghan recounts one more bloody time how she wrote to Procter & Gamble about its sexist washing-up advert.

Does she give free paralegal advice?

How long before this dog has broken legs?

After Moir talks about the beagle:

[quote] Listening to the first episode of Archetypes … could make anyone long for the slobbering embrace of an undemanding ball of goofy fluff. But more of Harry later.

It's so weird, cause fraus hate her, but this seems like the most frautastic show. Rich, famous women come together to discuss the pain of being rich and famous and all the terrible burdens it places on them, trying to juggle family and career with only a few servants and a gigantic bank account to help out.

[quote] It's so weird, cause fraus hate her, but this seems like the most frautastic show.

It begs the question: who is the target audience, then?*

*[Excluding those of the SS (not Gestapo) , but the Harkle delusional cultists led by Plasticine Omid Scoobie.]

Omid Scobie is either making lots of money with the Harkles or he’s a stone cold freak.

The race card has proven successful as a retort. But, nobody cares and still think she a phony x10.

There's obviously going to be interest in the first show. Whether that interested is sustained is another matter, given that it's Oprah-lite bullshit about rich people.

So unfiltered, yet so fabricating.

There are some really pathetic peeps in the world.

Everyone watching "for everyone else" is a liar and inflated her views. These are the same people who tattle on their neighbors. Are you proud of yourselves now?

No answer? No one has actually heard it here? Could it be *gasp* that with enough financial input, the streaming providers like YouTube and Spotify doctor the numbers for you?

No one here listened to it because no one here is a "Megstan," despite your constant claims that DL is positively overrun with them.

Also, you may want to read a thread before you spout off with your conspiracy theories. We were making fun of you guys claiming the numbers were faked long before you all showed up and did exactly that.

R27 Her quintessence is cunt essence

Thanks to transcripts there's no need to listen to her rather annoying voice.

"What is this quintessence of dust before our eyes?"

(To blend a couple of pithy phrases from WS.)

In the podcast, Meghan describes a day of laughter and fun at her Montecito mansion with Mrs Trudeau. Their children played in the swimming pool on pizza-shaped floats while they drank wine 'on the terrace' and were 'giddy like absolute schoolgirls.'

Meghan said: 'This wasn't our day of being the wives and moms, all perfectly quaffed with up-dos and pearls and demure smiles.

'This was the other version of us both with wild curly hair and swimsuits and loose linen and huge belly laughs. Big cuddles with our little ones, quiet whispers of girl talk on the terrace, giddy like absolute schoolgirls. We were just having so much fun.'

Darlin, she might have found something she knows how to do!

The Duchess of Suxx

Both of the dumb bells will get ratings without me.

Y'all need to get a new hobby. Learn German or collect pickaninny dolls or something.

This psycho-obsessive shit is unhealthy.

R49 Jesus, Meghan Markle is so detached from reality that I wonder sometimes if she remembers what planet she's on.

Perfectly coiffed and wearing pearls? I haven't seen women, mothers included, looking like that since the 1950s.

This is how she tries to be relatable? A rich woman lying around the pool watching the kiddies use a pizza-shaped float? Her staff? Her gardener? Her housekeeper? Her chauffeur? Her security guards? Her private jet trips? Her million dollar wardrobe? Does she think we don't know about them?!

But she's lettin' her hair down and not wearing pearls, so . . .

It also appears that by using very clever language, Meghan has pulled another "chicken tacos with Great Ladies of State" maneuver. It turns out that Mme Trudeau's participation was done in a studio in Ottowa, not in Monteshito.

Meghan doesn't exactly lie about it, she just sort of suggests it with one tiny acknowledgement somewhere of the studio making Trudeau's participation possible. Just as she did with Michelle Obama (whose refusal to have anything to do with her is at least partly based on that incident).

It's called The Markle Hustle - blink and you miss it.

The podcasts are going steadily down in ratings. The first two, as expected, got reviews and jeers. The media except for the ever-stalwart DM scrounging for clicks, are mostly ignoring them now. I think this one stood at 16th the day of. She ain't beaten' any records any longer.

And Mme Trudeau isn't the First Lady of Canada, any more than Carrie Johnson was First Lady of Great Britain.

Presidents have First Ladies.

Prime Ministers don't.

She is so fucking ignorant, so fucking transparent, so out of touch with what "relatable" means, that it's comical.

Spotify deserves to lose the money it's losing on this shallow bitch.

Well this week's podcast in which Meghan tries to justify making other people miserable by claiming that it's just bias against strong successful women . . . also passed with barely an eyelash flutter in the press.

As always, the Sussex timing was grandly off: America's midterm elections that day and then the excitement of watching the Democrats pull off something like an electoral Dunkirk totally wiped Meghan and her latest aggrieved whingefest off the map.

No one gives a fuck what she thinks or says.

A friend of mine in NYC was hanging out at the Rockefeller Centre skating rink one winter day. He said there was a loony tunes skater there who always did the same thing: she dressed up like Sonja Henie, the flirty skirt, the tight jacke, and the little headpiece with sequins, and loads of makeup approaching geisha levels; then she'd skate a few feet from the railing, kick one leg up, look around as if people were applauding, curtsy, and head back to the railing. She'd do this five or six times before disappearing.

That's what Meghan reminds me of. Unaware of the fact that whilst she believes her fantasy of who she is, no one else does. But it doesn't matter, because her marriage to a name will ensure that she can go on dressing up and going out there and doing her kick in her clown makeup and fantasy outfit, and then leaving the stage, regally oblivious to the reality of what the rest of us see.

That's why there is no PR team in the world that can help her. She wants them to find a way to make the world believe her fantasy of herself, and they can't.

Great post r55

Yes, bravo r55 !

Well said r55 except that stupidity about the democrats who lost several seats even though they're still cheating with gusto.

I would add that in Meghan's case, her belief in her fantasy of herself got her places that she wouldn't have gotten on her natural abilities. And, in Harry, she found the perfect enabler of that self-belief.

With the acquisition of Harry's starry name, title, and wealth, Meghan has been relatively safe from real accountability for her dishonesty, spite, contempt for those she doesn't need or over whom she has power, shallow character, comical intellectual posturing, and lack of self-awareness.

The rubber only met the road when she failed to persuade the BRF, and most of the public thatbshecwas the new, adored Diana.

Instead, she elevated William and Kate to the tops of the polls on both sides of the Pond. Her podcasts drew cheers and Spotify is losing money. Netflix had to read her the riot act and ditched Pearl, and every entity working with her found out swiftly that they'd fallen for her affect and title, but upon closer acquaintance, there that was no "there" there.

It just hasn't gone to plan. Still, she's come out with far more than the little she came in with. It has to be noted that the worst aspects oh her personality got her where she is.

One of those ironies the Universe throws out there to keep things interesting.

^*drew jeers (not cheers)

Fucking autocorrect.

R55

This week's podcast, on the DAY OF, came IN at #16.

And, US Magazine last week or this week, can't remember where I saw it, published a little piece on how disappointed Meghan was that her Archetypes podcasts hadn't attracted more excitement . . .

She probably also wonders what happened to the Lost Continent of Atlantis.

Another one of the producers on the Archetypes podcasts, Rebecca Sananes, has just come out and said she did most of the "heavy lifting" on the series.

A right shock that is.

That fact that most people got her number and she ain’t fool anyone anymore (at least the people she needs for future projects)

Anyone have a guess what she’ll be doing in the future?

Metaverse is apparently their next shot at something that might work.

The thing is, everything they do is an attempt to get to people to SEE them. Then, when people do see them, they realise how unlikable they are, and that without the trappings of the British royal family, there's no "there" there.

They just don't realise that the more they're SEEN and HEARD, the worse they look. They never figure it out.

That's why the royal gig was so perfect for them. They could hide behind the screen of service, dignity, and neutrality.

You know, Custer insisted on pursuing the Sioux at Little Big Horn, despite warnings from his Crow scouts, who changed out of their US calvalry uniforms and into their native clothes whilst singing death songs, because they knew what was going to happen.

The Sussexes keep choosing to die on a hill they could easily have avoided if they'd only listened.