Why are age gap relationships now considered something disgusting and criminal by younger people?

I suppose it's the same impulse that has half the world calling Prince Andrew a rapist even though the girl was above the age of consent. (I'm not saying he was right, given all those specific circumstances, but he wasn't a rapist.)

Young people are having it dinned into their heads that any form of power differential is coercive.

R1 I'm wondering what caused this? Or at least public declaration of this? Most women seek men with status and power, rather than looks.

Third wave feminism isn't intellectually rigorous. It's, like, whatever, like, you think feels right, ok?

I've seen people condemn a five-year age difference. If there's a five year difference and both parties are under 18 then that would obviously be a problem, but people are out here calling a 28 year-old dating a 23 year-old 'problematic' and a 'red flag'.

Are these opinions made online or in real-life? I see these attitudes online, but not so much in real-life.

As far as the online responses, I think it's because as women are seen more as equals and gays are more normalised, there are less reasons for people to stray outside their immediate age group. To do so comes across as more exploitive by the older party. But, if some tall, handsome 28-year-old built like a linebacker wanted to fuck me on the regular, the last thing on my mind would be what other people are thinking.

I shared a nice story about my parents on DListed a while back (they're 15 years apart), and the response from some was quite shocking and nasty (based purely on the age gap). I think the comment section is largely female and is comprised mostly of millennials and Gen-Xers.

They're calling Andrew a rapist because the girl was trafficked by pimps. That's not a particularly good example.

OP's example is a good one, and I think it's happening because people are realizing that college-age kids aren't the fully-formed adults we used to think they were.

That said, age gaps have always been commented on. My parents were 10 years apart in age and were married in the 1960s and people commented, even then.

I agree that for some reason, young women especially seem stunted R6 My baby sister seems to be an outlier amongst her friends, because I find her to be very smart and mature, but most teen girls - including the ones she hangs out with, seem totally incapable of thinking for themselves or taking responsibility for their action.

Bette Davis says a man should be 10 years older than a woman

What's funny is that in many traditional societies (Middle East, India) that sort of age gap is common-- the man is expected to build up his business and his ability to support a family and then get married to a woman around 10 years younger who can start birthing a brood of kids. The only men who marry younger are those who inherit family businesses (or titles) and already have money.

But to answer OP, it does seem to be a lot about the perceived inequality.

And we should note how much DLers are in arms about Aaron Taylor Johnson and his older wife who got herself knocked up when he was just 21

r4 Yes I've seen the same. I always ignore unimportant hysterical weirdo straight girls but some gay men are like this too. Another is: "Yes that means your dad is a rapist even if you all don't realise it" to sane people raised by healthy, loving parents with 10 year age gap.

Wait... people actually say that to you IRL, R10 or just online?

Not criminal, just pathetic.

Why do you care what young people think?

Because they are indoctrinated morons.

It's important to differentiate between an age difference when one person is say 55 and the other is 42 vs. when one is 35 and the other 22. An age difference when older is less important because the younger person has both more experience and less vulnerable.

In general, significant age differences are a proxy for certain relationship dynamics.

> There is usually a power assymetry in the relationship as the older person usually has more money, a more established career, and more stable living situation

> A significantly youger person has much less relationship experience, so is more likely to accept abusive behaviors as "normal" because they lack sufficient frames of reference to recognize such behaviors. A younger person is more likely to defer.

> Life stages. A younger person is more likely to have major life events in front of them and have more living to do and experience. When in a relationship with an older person who has already experienced such life experiences and milestones, a younger person is often deprived of the opportunity. Whether those experiences are good or bad, part of who we are is having lived through thing whether it's whoring around with lots of hookups or partying all night or finishing college, getting an MBA, or going to law school.

Of course, there are situations where the younger person is clearly the predator and taking advantage of the older person's money and exerting control.

As a leading indicator of whether a relationship should be examined more closely for signs of manipulation and abuse, big age gaps are usually a good place to start.

I don't see what an 18 to 22 year old would have in common with someone in their 30s or 40s. To most people over 25, people under 25 are extremely annoying because they're still like kids mentally. The drama they go through is something that with age seems just silly.

I have a 60 year old gay male friend dating a 29 year old guy who, honestly is in great shape. I see the attraction. But they look ridiculous together as a couple. People keep asking me if there’s a financial arrangement (which there isn’t).

When 17 year old Noah Schnapp posted private DMs from Doja Cats the gen z defended him by stating he is a “literal child”

Young girls do not want to sleep with older men . Young guys seem to want to fuck older women

Teens care more about celebrities like this than older people do. Gen Z is still kids or teens give them time to grow up. I can't condemn an entire generation that hasn't finished puberty yet. The older ones are more Millennial aligned.

Whether they admit it or not, women understand that their only power in society comes from being attractive to men, and the only interest men have in women is sexual. They therefore have to protect their own status by inventing methods to control the behaviors or others which can challenge it.

In this case, it's reframing old men who date young as predators who are chasing power rather than sex - which feeds the illusion that real (ie. their own) relationships are based on something other than sexual attraction - while attaching a level of social stigma to men (ie. their husbands) who might think about trading them in when they aren't useful (sexually attractive) anymore.

In days of yore, this protected status was achieved by stigmatizing divorce, but that's no longer an option.

R15 you’re projecting a lot….

I do find it cringey when people are dating someone so much younger than them. It feels like you don't want to own your actual age and only want to chase after youth and a partner you feel like you have an edge over.

I'm in my thirties and would not want date a 20 year old even though that is perfectly legal

Gen Z still feel like children after 18.

R19 It’s funny because they say girls are more mature than boys but you’ll find young boys and teens have sexual attraction early to older women. Like in the late 2000’s, young boys and teenage boys fantasized about Megan Fox while their female peers wanted to be with Justin Bieber, who looked like a little girl.

Girls are also disgusted by the male body until they’re older. Girls talk about their disgust for cock and balls the same way gay men talk about vaginas, except gay men don’t like vaginas.

Similarly R24 gay boys fantasize about muscular guys with facial hair even older studs and generally aren't into non-threatening girly-looking pop stars and celebrities like their female peers. So many of us watched sports just for the hot athletes and fantasized about hot cops pulling us over. Hugh Jackman, Mark Wahlberg, Sam Worthington, Usher, Eminem, Shemar Moore and Chris Evans were popular with gay teens in the 2000s.

I think this is an interesting topic. I remember in high school, late 80s, all the popular girls from 10th grade up were dating older guys ranging from late teens to 20/21 townies to college guys and no one thought twice about it. I think it was considered normal.

I'm not saying back then it was right or wrong or the way things are now is right or wrong, but I do think that at some point we started infantilizing teenagers in a way that previous generations didn't.

R21 That’s an interesting insight but I don’t know if I agree with it.

Women are more independent than ever today and I think there are women who are subconsciously upset about it and they’re lashing out by using these types of things as scapegoats.

I’ve said this before, there are older women who are in arrested development because they went from their parents house straight to their first home with their husbands. Their husbands controlled everything.

A lot of liberal women today are looking for policies and ideology to create that environment for them. Camilla Paglia was talking about this - women don’t want to accept the world is dangerous, they want the comfort of their parents house to be all around them. And they want guardianship and parenting in universities and in the workplace.

And that stuff will be enforced as long as women say men are monsters. It’s like if men won’t marry them, the government will, look at poor women and welfare, they don’t need men, the government looks after them.

For one thing it is arrested development, people are in their 20s but they don't feel like they are adults so being with one still feels wrong to them.

R26 But I think women have always been infantilized and because of the lack of tradition today, it’s coming out in other forms.

Like I said in my post in R27, widowhood is a real struggle for older women in their 70’s and 80’s today because there are women out there who hadn’t ever maintained a real bill or balanced a checkbook until their husbands died. I’ve seen it!

So this recent idea of older men “grooming” 21 year-old women is a reflection of women stating that women are too young to be adults at that age and need to be protected like children.

It’s the same way women were viewed before the 1960’s. Women want that mentality back but they also want the freedoms feminism gave them at the same time.

R1 I don't know how often this needs to be repeated but Andrew's offenses involved sex with victims of sex trafficking which equals Trafficked victims obviously cannot give legal consent to an abuser.

If you fuck a victim of sex trafficking you are committing a sexual offense. End stop.

Nothing to do with age. If Virginia had been 75 years old, it still would be rape. Don't fuck victims of sex trafficking.

Hope this sinks in for the 10000000000th time regarding P Andrew and why he committed criminal acts.

I don’t understand the question and I won’t answer it.

R30 Not defending Andrew, but it is possible to become involved in a trafficking situation as a "john" and not realize it. From what I've read about Epstein, in the beginning at least, he just presented himself as someone who just happen to know a lot of pretty young women, that he could introduce you to. I don't think he asked for any money to do it, it was only after he had hooked you that knew you were in trouble because he would blackmail you.

Also, if a guy is getting a massage and the person gives him a happy ending, she is probably trafficked. But, he might not know that.

R32 Surely you can't be that naive...Andrew knew exactly what Epstein was up to. Read up on how his pad in NYC was decorated for starters.

Not knowing is not a legal excuse: if you have sex with a minor who you thought was older...you are still guilty and can be prosecuted.

[quote][R15] you’re projecting a lot….

r22 - lol, um no.

The question was WHY are age gap relationships now considered something disgusting...

I answered the question. Perhaps, learn to read? I did NOT say that those were the only reason or that they are applicable to all relationships with age gaps. I answered the question about WHY then are no considered something disgusting...

I first saw this trend in a Millennial coworker. We we talking about a gay celeb in downtown NYC who was known for bedding NYU students. My coworker thought it was predatory and abusive as if the NYU students were effectively being raped and getting nothing out of these encounters.

R33 I specifically said "not to defend Andrew," I was just pointing out that it is possible in the abstract, and not just cut and dry that anyone having sexual relations with a trafficking victim is knowingly committing rape. I did know a guy in college who went to a massage place because he hurt his neck and back, he didn't go expecting a happy ending, but he didn't turn it down when she offered. A few weeks later the place was raided and the women were revealed to be trafficking victims, does that make that guy a rapist? I would say no.

[quote] Hugh Jackman, Mark Wahlberg, Sam Worthington, Usher, Eminem, Shemar Moore and Chris Evans were popular with me when I was a gay teen in the 2000s.

Fixed

I do think it’s gross and just incredibly sleazy when these celebrity guys, many of whom are in their 70s, just trade younger and younger wives or gfs each time, so that by the time you’re 80 someone like Al Pacino is dating a 25 year old! It has nothing to do with “consent” (I think there’s nothing wrong actually with a 15yo girl wanting to date “cooler college guys” who are likely around 20 - this bullshit that they’re being “taken advantage of” is just that) - rather it’s just incredibly pathetic looking that they’re so in denial of their own mortality that they have to keep going younger and younger to reassure themselves of their own “status.” Richard Gere, Dennis Quaid, Dane Cook and so on. How can couples like this even remotely relate to each other? And then having kids in their 70s which is another incredible disservice. And it’s all so ridiculously predictable at this point.

There’s a fine line between always wanting your wives to be attractive and “doable” and this insane compulsion to constantly have to trade in for younger and younger every few years, finally getting to a point whether they’re not even old enough to be their father but grandfather. It’s just pathetic and gross, period.

R38, I wonder, we're in a recession from a pandemic coupled with the insane materialism of social media and a "sexually liberated" era... these men will have access to desperate young, beautiful women who need their money and power like never before. There's a cultural perfect storm to the obnoxiousness of famous geezers and their child brides today that we haven't seen since maybe, what? Ancient Rome? Feudalism? But it's root cause is probably inequality.

[quote]I do think it’s gross and just incredibly sleazy when these celebrity guys, many of whom are in their 70s, just trade younger and younger wives or gfs each time

I do often wonder what they have in common, but at same time I know these guys can't do what they do without willing and available younger women. Everybody is getting something out of the deal. I don't think it's fair to just blame the men.

If it's legal, consensual and no one is hurt, then who gives a shit?

And it seems the only thing that counts anymore is money. Everything is about money. That all may change soon. If we have a huge stock market crash or a financial collapse which we will, The rich will again be jumping out of buildings as they did in the depression. When that happens, people will turn to religion like they always do.

It’s natural to want to be with someone young when you’re young.

For the younger generations, everything is black or white. Full stop. No degrees or gradations of gray. No nuanced thinking. Sound off the TRA/Woke mantras and hate anyone who disagrees.

God help me, I'm starting to really hate young people.

Not too hard to figure out what the 28 year old is getting out of the 75 year old actor: several beautiful houses, a big T&E budget, lots to spend on clothes, industry connections and, even with a pre-nup in place, enough so that if she invests somewhat wisely and doesn't live extravagantly, money will never be an issue again.

And all the people who suck up to her husband are now sucking up to her as well.

We're on your lawn R44

There's no black or white on that. We are on the lawn and we are trampling your grass.

R40 oh I totally agree and I don’t view these women as “victims” at all - they know exactly what they’re after. And I don’t think anyone should be “cancelled” over it - but I can personally find the age difference - to say nothing of the the whole “transactional” aspect - totally repugnant.

I don't get how this is an issue only for old geezers who want to date very young people. If it's a small age gap or the young person is at least in their mid-20s then who gives a shit about what Gen Z thinks? People judge all the time. Most young people rather date people their age and them being exclusionary in regards to that isn't odd.

Are you kidding R47? Throughout history, all relationships between men and women have been transactional. It will only change when women are completely equal as If that were to ever happen.

R44 everything is so black and white with them because they have no critical thinking skills. They don't seem to have any skill at thinking at all.

Why can't we condemn them R20 when they find every little petty thing to condemn us for? Loudmouth and wrong little brats.

We've moved on to R49's lawn too. We don't care about his begonias either.

We're trampling all over them too.

Because pearl clutching and moral finger pointing, like old Victoria ladies did 80 years ago, is apparently, er, cool?

I cannnot cannot cannot wait till the generation after this last one rips Gen Z and Millenials apart and fucks their shit up, like always happens to puritanical moralists. I just hope we are all still here by then and I get to see it.

R52 Well, now, their parents did give them all those old sounding names like Sadie, Mildred, Evelyn, Ezekiel, Elisha, etc... so we can't be surprised when they act like people named Sadie, Mildred, Evelyn, Ezekiel, Elisha, etc...

56 can go into 29 at least once and 29 can go into 56 ascoften as they want but no relationship like that will last past the sex !

R1, except everyone is criticizing Prince Andrew, not just "young people"

This is just another thread for eldergays to vent against "young people"

Hate to break it to you, but your age peers are the ones keeping Trump and the GOP in power

R52, Gen Z and Millennials are less homophobic than elderly people like you. The elderly are the least likely to support gay rights, young people the most likely

If you want to see Puritanism, look at people your own age

I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.

R49 voted for Trump, watches Fox News all day, but accuses others of lacking critical thinking skills

R44, the people who lack nuance are the conservatives who use "woke" as a pejorative. Trump voters believe everything Fox News tells them but they sneer at "woke" people for black-and-white thinking. They hate gays because the Bible tells them to. But, sure, it's "woke" people who are the problem

R55 The GOP is out of the White House and does not control either house of Congress. Their appointees do control a majority on the Supreme Court but the only way to change that would be to fuck around with the court in a manner many people would see as an assault on our constitutional system.

I think the wider public would dislike messing with the makeup of the Supreme Court more than they disliked Jan 6. Because, while Jan 6 and the reasons behind it was horrible. The fact is that many, many Americans, even ones that weren't Trump supporters, didn't hate Congress getting scared shitless for once. They hated the violence and the lies it was built upon. They might feel sympathy for Pence, since they were actually looking to lynch him. But, when they show the others running, GOP and DEM, a lot of people aren't upset by that aspect, because there has been at least some point in their lives where they would've liked to have done it to them themselves.

But, changing the number of justices just because you don't like the rulings that the current court is giving, cheapens the entire idea of American justice to where justice becomes whatever the majority party says it is, and the Supreme Court will cease to be the ultimate tribunal and will instead become an unelected super legislature.

As I've gotten older I now understand that age and life experience brings nuance. You can't expect young people who haven't really lived to understand "gray".

I'm a GenXer with early Boomer parents and I can remember some of, what I thought at the time, were appalling choices they made. Now, with some age under my belt, you understand that sometimes the appalling choice is the only choice or just slightly better than an even more appalling choice.

Being angry at young people for people young and hard-headed gets you nothing. You just have to wait them out. They'll finally get it.

I find this thread hilarious because, as we know, DL is mostly eldergays who live in the hopes that a pretty young thing will fall desperately in love with them and their 401K. Of course they're gonna be in favour of age-gap relationships and mad at anyone who finds them disgusting!!!

I've had an age-gap relationship with an 18 years older man who had a son almost my age. It was a disaster. DIS-AS-TER!!!!! He wanted to act like he was the younger one and I was supposed to be the strong and protective one. He was INSANELY touchy about any mention of his age but loved to act condescending and all 'I just know better, my lad' at me. We had nothing in common. Our respective friends couldn't accept the partner of their friend because we were in different generations. The son loathed me. When we finally broke up, older guy went full psychopath on me, stalking me and sending anonymous letters about me to all my friends and coworkers. His reasoning? 'You were my last chance at love.' Never, ever, ever again!!

And to those claiming that only older women condemn such relationships because blah blah, reasons from the 1850s, when I was a child, my grandparents' 14 year age gap seemed so huge to me that I couldn't understand how they could be together at all.

This chick trolls older guys on Tinder and her followers brutally pile on. She’s struggling with her own attraction to older men, I would guess.

I have noticed this as well with the youngsters in their twenties. It's like they're these little tiny straight-edged youths, and absolutely everything in life frightens them.

[quote] Gen Z and Millennials are less homophobic than elderly people like you

As an elder Millennial, I can tell honestly you that many youngster generations have their hang-ups, too.

I am not convinced that they are going to be any better.

Yeah r49 again there’s a not so fine line between that being an element of a relationship & it being the WHOLE of the relationship. It’s pretty darn easy to tell the difference and the latter rarely if ever end well.

OMG, R63, I love that prifile, lol, thank you! 😂 No, I don't think she's struggling at all, lmao

R63 that chick is hilarious. She really zings those guys.

[R1] [R63] Young women are *extremely frequently* NOT FUCKING ATTRACTED to men our dads’ age. And not being attracted to middle-aged men is not a recent development. We’re repulsed by middle-aged men for the same reason old men are repulsed by their own peers. Decrepitude is not somehow hot in men gross in women. Swipes4daddy is not struggling with an attraction to old men. Come the fuck on.

*while* gross in women.

Because social media makes it easier for what people are really thinking to share their thoughts with the entire world, so you're seeing the disgust expressed more often. But mark my words, it was[bold]always[/bold] there.

I have always been severely creeped out by older men hitting on my and I'm a millennial.

This bullshit started when I was around 13 or 14 years old and it was even worse in online chats on AOL and Yahoo back in the day that were supposed to be for teens. So, no, it was just "older fraus." We've always been disgusted by this shit.

* me

r68 EXACLTY!

I thought straight men were clueless about this topic, but goddamn gay men are in another dimension with their comprehension of this matter. They seriously think we're flattered by the attention of liver-spotted perverts suffering mid-life crises when we're in our teens, early 20s, or...ever. I've always found their pursuits horrid and obscene; my being gay has nothing to do with it. My straight female friends felt the exact same way. Most preferred men around their age.

R21 Jesus, hate women much? You know this is 2022, right? Not 1953? You sound like an incel.

They worry about 28 yo dating 21 yo, but they aren’t worried about real, prepubescent children being chemically castrated by dr. Mengeles and crazy parents.

[quote] I have always been severely creeped out by older men hitting on my and I'm a millennial.

Of all the scary-ass things in life, this is what you find creepy?

Do yourself a favor and get over it.

xoxo, a fellow Millennial :)

I think it's amusing to see Millennials talk about how Gen Z is so repressed and withdrawn, when a lot of us thought the same thing about you guys a decade or so ago. In about 2010-2012, there were tons of articles about how Millennials were living with their parents, not having sex, highly educated but with no job prospects, traumatized from 9/11 and Columbine, never meeting friends in real life, all sorts of stuff like that.

When I was 17, my first "boyfriend" was 24 years older and it was disgusting. I could never be seen in public with grandpa because it looked ridic. I dumped him after a few months because his tinymeat made it unworthwhile.

OP, I have noticed this attitude all over Reddit.

It's almost like they say they want to be taken seriously as adults, but they don't actually want to own the 'agency' that comes with being an actual 18+ adult.

Yes, r75, when I was like 14-17 years old, it was severely fucking creepy, gross, and annoying, sir/ma'am. Around my early 20s - the present, it is now merely gross and annoying.

The point was to illustrate that it's not just Gen Z who is disturbed by being approached by geriatrics and the middle-aged in our youth. Do try to keep up.

[quote] Yes, [R75], when I was like 14-17 years old, it was severely fucking creepy, gross, and annoying, sir/ma'am.

When I was 14-17, I also got hit on by older men. It happened. I laughed about it. I survived. It's been long over for years now.

I guess I don't really 'get' people who claim some horrible trauma about things like getting hit on by men like 20+ years ago?

Because everyone is different R80. Why do you insist that everyone react exactly as you?

R81, I don't. But I do think that people who claim their worst trauma in life was being hit on decades ago by some random older men -- they're probably very privileged people.

They didn't say it was the worst trauma in their life. You should stop with the straw man arguments R81.

R81, many on Reddit do act like it's their worst trauma.

Maybe the men wouldn't take no for an answer R84. It can be traumatizing if you don't know how to get out of a situation like that due to youth and inexperience.

[quote] It can be traumatizing if you don't know how to get out of a situation like that due to youth and inexperience.

Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but they should probably consider toughening up just a little bit and learning how to get over it? Much scarier things in life are headed directly their way.

I am in my mid 30s, so older millennial. In my university days it was still common for girls to like teachers and other guys who were better preserved older charmers. Silver foxes as they called them. Though some girls liked their peers exclusively. As for straight boys, they were jerking off on female teachers still in high school, not only young, but middle aged too and would have killed to get in their pants. I remember they started to use the term MILF frequently.

As for me, I liked me a sophisticated older guy, more than I do now. Now my eye catches young ones. Although, I have always been bisexual, I liked both boys and men.

If everyone is an adult then what's the big deal? We let 18 year olds consent to go to war, and that seems like it would be more trauma inducing than an 18 year old messing around with a skeezy 42 year old. That 42 year old is probably rich.

[quote] In my university days it was still common for girls to like teachers and other guys who were better preserved older charmers.

Right? When did 25-year-olds become little babies?

R88 18 year olds being used as cannon fodder is wrong too.

R90 But nobody is outraged over that because it involves violence and not sex. When an 18 year old murders someone, we also charge them as an adult.

Yes they are outraged R91. But old men creeping on young people is far more common in everyday life than a teenager going off to war I suppose. And less removed as well.

[quote] But old men creeping on young people is far more common in everyday life than a teenager going off to war I suppose.

Oh God. 🙄

Young people getting 'creeped on' is probably at the lowest rates we've ever seen since the advent of cell phone technology and Youtube.

The worst 'young people getting creeped on' probably happened some time from the 1960s to '90s.

I doubt that. I've heard it was at it's peak between 645 and 675 AD.

[92] When the people talk about age gap discourse start getting mad about the military recruiting 17-18 year olds, or 18 year olds being charged as adults, then I'll take them seriously. Until then, I think they should mind their own business when adults get in to relationships, even ones they disapprove of. I, for one, don't care that Leonardo Dicaprio dates 18 year olds. They get to hang out with him on his yacht and smoke his weed, seems like a fair trade. What does he find in common with 18 year old supermodels? I don't know. I don't care. It's none of my business.

I don't care who a middle aged closet case dates either

[quote] I, for one, don't care that Leonardo Dicaprio dates 18 year olds. They get to hang out with him on his yacht and smoke his weed, seems like a fair trade.

Right? Those 18-year-olds are of legal age. They know what they want. Since when did being aged 18-30 = being a child?

[quote] but now you have all these viral tweets and about how "predatory" an older man dating a legal aged woman is.

Do they want to be taken seriously as an adult, or do they want to be treated like a child? They can't have it both ways.

[quote]When I was 14-17, I also got hit on by older men.

If it's a 14-17 year old, that's not simply a situation of being "hit on." That's being preyed upon because it's an adult sexually pursuing a minor.

And I'm not surprised you "laughed it off." Males and females are different. A young girl being approached by a grown-ass man is, is typically not going to be received the same as a young boy in a similar situation because we're socialized differently. So, I don't expect you, or any other males (especially gay males) to understand why, for a young girl, yes, it can be quite terrifying. Especially if they take to following you. The fact that this even needs to be explained to you is bizarre.

I don't, personally, give a shit what other adults are doing, I do, however, care if I'm [bold]personally[/bold] being bothered. I don't want to be bothered by men, in general. But I especially don't want to be bothered by men old enough to be my damn father. That's weird to me, and I'm not going to apologize for that because some random DLer is in their feelings about the situation. How about [bold]you[/bold] get over it?

R99, this is not Reddit. This is not TikTok. I assume everyone here that I interact with is a fully adult gay man of a certain age.

I think perhaps you're lost here.

[quote]Young people getting 'creeped on' is probably at the lowest rates we've ever seen since the advent of cell phone technology and Youtube.

Nah. It's still videos of these weirdos getting caught because they still hang out on Omegle for some reason; where the age demographic range heavily skews 13-24.

[quote]I assume everyone

Oh, ffs, just say you're an idiot. It's quicker and more accommodating to my short millennial attention span.

R101, girl, bye. Go do some downvotes and upvotes on Reddit.

Cope more, r103. And don't forget to renew your AARP membership when you're done.

R26, it’s probably because parents are responsible for them much longer due to economic reasons. In the old days, many young people, 23/26, bought their first house. Not so much today; heck they’re on their parents insurance until 26! If parents are financially responsible for them, then they are more likely to still align with behaviors the parents prefer.

R104, go cry to somebody else about some creeper who spanked your flat ass 30 years, and you're still crying about it today. I can't pretend to care.

r106 Normally, you could write off poor reading comprehension as early signs of senility, but you claim to also be a millennial. So your predilection for strawmans must simply be due to 'tardation.

Sorry about your disability.

R68 I (R63) am a young(ish) guy [30] who has always been attracted to much older men (I remember getting horny over the sultan in Aladdin as a 4 year old) and who has similar tendencies in terms of poking fun at them so forgive me for analysing her through my own lens (and all the parentheses/I’m drunk)

There are a LOT of guys out there who are physically attracted to older men. Do you think girls are different? I’m asking honestly - I don’t know the answer. Why do you think she spends so much time talking to older men on Tinder? It’s amusing, obviously, but it’s pretty unusual behaviour which I think warrants wild speculation

She probably got tired of old men hitting on her on apps so made an Instagram page. Unlike a lot of women her age, she's not looking for approval from Daddy or Granddaddy.

R107, I am a millennial, albeit the eldest type.

I do take issue with little whiners who claim to want to be taken seriously as adults, but in the other breath, they proclaim themselves as victims with no agency over what happens to them.

R109 I’m not sure if you’re aware but straight people on dating apps only interact with people from an age range that they’ve pre-selected. She’s only interacting with old men, and then shaming them for including girls her age (28) in their age filter

[quote] She probably got tired of old men hitting on her on apps

Maybe consider getting off 'the apps' you dumb bitch?

R111 nah I didn't know that. So she's deliberately and methodically taking the piss with these guys. Regardless it's very funny.

R112 you're quite the psychopathic cunt. Don't get mad at me because some 15 year old doesn't want to blow you.

[quote] There are a LOT of guys out there who are physically attracted to older men.

Don't dare reveal that to psycho-fraucunt/R114.

You couldn't even come up with your own insult, you had to copy mine R115 and then WW yourself

R116, go suck a fat dick. It might help your life

r110 Ok so, what's your problem with me, because I did absolutely none of that shit? I just countered the OP's assertion that this opinion is a new development with Gen Z and provided examples of such from my own youth and the present.

R117 aww someone's cranky because he can't get the teenaged dick he wants. Don't worry, there are plenty of pimped out kids in S America you can try for.

[quote] Ok so, what's your problem with me,

I don't know? Maybe because unlike Gen Z, you're a whiny little bitch in your thirties?

The only one "whining" here, r120, is you. A gay woman being grossed and creeped out by the sexual advances of men twice her age has zero effect on you. And yet you insist on droning on about it.

Wouldn't he combination of an older woman and younger man be desirable cause it would help overcome the power balance, which almost invariably prevails on male side. So the fact that the woman is more experienced and smarter will make her equal partner.

Simple formula:

Your age divided by two + seven = minimum age, and 21 years old at least.

30/2+7 = 22. Risqué, but OK 25/2+7 = 19. No way. 64/2+7 = 39. Good for you!

Let’s try again, but with spacing

30/2+7 = 22. Risqué, but OK

.

25/2+7 = 19. No way.

.

64/2+7 = 39. Good for you!

Who is this enraged geezer here who claims to be a Millennial (yeah, sure, Jan) and is so troubled by younger people not enjoying being hit on by oldsters?

He reminds me of Stephen Fry - a known paedo - who once said that people who were groped by their uncle in their childhood should stop whining and get over it.

So it's just some old pervy geezer who got schooled by the teens he was trying to hit on. Go, teens! Show the angry old abuelito who's boss, lol.

Srephen, is that you?

Elder incel thread.

I think it boils down to two things:

1. Frauen who are over thirty-five and unmarried are jealous of younger women because men their age still chase after them.

2. Trauma survivor/therapist logic: therapy is a wonderful thing but too often people think what flies in therapy has real world applicability and it doesn’t. A therapist will tell a young woman that an older man took advantage of her per the research, but the reality is you have complete control over who you date and sleep with.

OP, you forgot to mention the “all women who have step fathers were sexually abused by them, so they are damaged” part. Isn’t that part of the incel narrative? 🙄

R129, this is the stupidest bullshit I've ever read. Bravo! 👏👏👏

R131 Thank you, thank you’re most kind.

Really R130. Never heard about this incel theory. Though lots of straight men tend to be creepy around girls who are not their bio daughters. Some even when they are.

I am always astonished how women with kids easily let a strange man in their house.

I think r129 highlights the difference between gay men and lesbians. Lesbians can have sympathy for young women and even men for being well, young and stupid. Gay men want to see young women punished as harshly as possible for youthful mistakes, even if it means upholding old fashioned patriarchal principles that hurt them too.

Gay men don’t want to see women punished, they just don’t worship pussy like lesbians, so they might be the only group of people to demand women take full responsibility for their actions like one does when they’re a grown adult.

[quote]A therapist will tell a young woman that an older man took advantage of her per the research, but the reality is you have complete control over who you date and sleep with.

While this is true, I also think what my current partner said about my first serious relationship is also true (I was 22 and the man was in his 50s): "it's not a fair fight." In age-disparate relationships the older partner has many advantages over the younger, and in an ideal world the older person would take care to treat his or her younger partner with kindness and compassion. The younger person is just starting out in life-- don't exploit them or fuck them up. Unfortunately this doesn't always happen. I still have feelings for the man (long since dead) whom I dated back then, but I recognize now that he was a troubled person and that trying to make himself feel better by dating someone decades younger may have been driven by something not necessarily positive or salubrious.

Oooh, demand. Look at you. As if boys take full responsibility for anything. Young boys make mistakes all the time and you make excuses for them all the time, and somehow 15 year old girls are expected to behave like a fully formed mature and responsible adult. As if that's realistic.

Making mistakes in relationships or having a bad experience isn’t “literally traumatizing,” it’s a normal part of life. Is the word overused now or is everyone so insanely sensitive that they think getting their ass smacked is on the same level as rape?

No one is saying huge differences like yours were ok or good R136. Especially because you were barely and adult yourself. I tend to have no problems with age differences as long as the youngest is at least 25 or 30, depending on the age of the other. 22 is far too young to be dating anyone more than 10 years older.

That said I see nothing wrong with being attracted to someone because they are younger OR older (well at least if it's a contributing factor, if its the only reason, its a problem). Why must we assume there will always be an unbalance of power...? If anythinh who has the power in a relationship, the pretty 25 year old or the has been droopy 45 year old?

Because in todays’s American society, an age gap is a massive power imbalance.

But you knew that OP.

R134 Gay men don’t care. It’s straight incel men who want to see women punished.

Why would it be a power imbalance. As I said in my previous post. Older woman-younger man can do exactly the opposite, bring the power balance in the relationship, cause an older woman would generally tame young male easier than young one.

I know personally, it hurts my feelings when someone I consider beneath me hits on me. As if we're sexual peers.

Maybe this young women are hurt because they aren't as valuable on the dating market as they think they are, and are relegated to the early bird special rather than primetime?

I agree that most young people want to date people in their own age range. It's always been that way. However there does seem to be a sharp rise in sugar daddy culture. Aren't there hook up sites designed especially for young men and women looking for sugar daddies? Maybe some of these old guys are getting mixed messages.

Totally agree about today’s generation being infantalised and stunted. More so than any before them, which is weird given they have all the internet a fingertip away. But that it is part of the problem: they’re never away from their phones. My generation had much more street smarts, and having grown up with ‘don’t talk to strangers’ warnings, that was all I wanted to do from my very first sexual stirrings, and was hardcore cruising for men by my early teens. But I also worked school holiday jobs including in a small factory and a packing house that were really punishing work and threw me into an adult world whose workers didn’t make much of an allowance. I get the feeling school holiday jobs are out of favour, except possibly with the working class, but no one interviews or cares about them. But they did help throw teenagers into the real world to gain maturity.

The Western world is fucked on this aspect: you only have to go to an arab country to see armies of teenage malle out at all hours of the night. We cosset them too much whereas we should be encouraging them to build resiliance. I realise this could read like a predatory suggestion, but things have got so ridiculous, almost any common sense in the matter does. I do think most people sense that the extended pampered childhoods the middle class encourage these days — which can extend to 20 — without encouraging responsibility and judgement are foolish. As for girls, their sexuality is so utterly different, and they are so much more vulnerable, their experience and mental constructs should never ever be equated with that of males, but unfortunately in the spirit of equality this has happened.

As a teenage frau I always liked older guys. Guys my age were boring and infantile.

[quote]OP, I have noticed this attitude all over Reddit.

I had an argument with somebody on Reddit who insisted a 19 year old adult 'was a literal child.'

R147, their understanding of "literal" is ironically allegorical.

For me it depends on the age of the younger party. My sister's partner is 11 years older than her, but she's 42 so it doesn't seem strange at all.

However, as someone else quoted earlier, Aaron Taylor is 24 years younger than his wife and they started dating when he was 18 and she was 42. I'm not 42 yet and wouldn't consider dating an 18 year old. It's strange whichever way you look at it. I know they're still married years later, but it's the fact he was 18 when they started to date that weirds me out.

Age of consent is 16 in the UK, so think of it as the equivalent to 20-year-old in the states. He clearly doesn't seem to be miserable, like all his fangurls want him to be.

[quote]that weirds me out.

Surely more weird are the whales in stretch slacks one sees pushing prams at the supermarket who have decent looking, or even smoking hot men walking with them. A Daddy Warbucks with a hot young chick is understandable: but the former familiar sight seems beyond the bounds of reason. He sticks his dick in THAT?!! Compared to this eternally unfathomable human behaviour, ages differences are nothing.

That's a rare phenomenon R151. You're not attracted to women so you automatically think the men are hotter even when they are ugly.

R151, the wives/girlfriends may have been thin at one point and put on weight postpartum. Also there are some straight guys who prefer to have a ‘plain’ spouse, believing that such women will focus on pleasing them and be less likely to cheat on them. This belief is often disproved, of course.

There really is endless stuff about predators and dating on Twitter

Nothing wrong with a big age gap as long as they're both adults (but not if one of them is barely legal, a 18 year old and a 30 year old for example have very different life experiences).

A very different thing is like a man who says his father was 35 and his mother 15 when they began to date and it was "normal" that time and sees nothing wrong with it.

R24 girls just mature early because they're prepared early to life, it's still expected women to take care of a man and kids, cook etc.

My best friend from college married his college girlfriend at 23 and they were married for over 25 years and had three grown kids. He was devastated when she filed for divorce but immediately started getting all the pussy he passed up in his prime. He had a couple of relationships but most were just hook ups. Just after he turned 50 he met a woman who was 24, younger than his daughter. On the looks-interests-finances scale they are compatible, so it's not like she's after his money or she's too hot for him. He has been completely open with her and everyone that he will never marry again and had a vasectomy so never wants to have more kids. That was six years ago and they're still together so something between them works.

Women aren't as shallow as men so I believe you when you say she's not in it for the money R157.

Correct, R158. They're even shallower. And infinitely more calculating.

No matter how much you wish it were true R159 women don't get involved with men for shallow reasons like youth and dick size. Men instinctively know this and take advantage of women's good nature.

R3 hit it on the nail. Thread closed.

I'm so happy I'm gay and don't have to deal with these straight people problems and gender wars. Straight men need to stop being shamed for jacking off to internet porn and using prostitutes. While straight women need to stop being shamed for being single and not wanting kids. That would solve a lot of issues. People need to stop forcing themselves into relationships due to social conditioning.

[quote]We let 18 year olds consent to go to war, and that seems like it would be more trauma inducing than an 18 year old messing around with a skeezy 42 year old.

We FORCE 18 year olds to go to war, and a lot of people have a lot of problems with that, and have for a very long time.

"We force teenaged kids to die in war so it's okay if an old person takes advantage of them for sex" isn't the strongest argument in the world.

R163, you disingenuous cunt. No one is forcing 18 yr olds to sign up for the military today.

The military targets poor teenage boys often with absent fathes to enlist and they market it with promises of financial stability and family structure. It's pretty predatory just like modeling agencies also marketing to high school girls.

*fathers

And let's be honest. The people encouraging 18 year olds to go to war are men, old rich men. They want to get rid of the younger competition.

I have no idea why anyone would date someone who has kids older than they are. It's obvious why the old guy would want it, but why would a 24-year-old woman want to hook up with a man in his 50s who has kids older than her? "Hey honey, the day I was born, you were a 30-year-old insurance broker with 3 kids and a mortgage and had been married several years, isn't that cool?" Yuck.

R165, there is nothing you can tell me about the military. There is nothing predatory about getting young men to join our armed forces when they are already leaning that way. And as destructive as war can be, the military does reward rewarding careers to those from poor backgrounds.

Daddy issues R168. Most men are utter failures as fathers. Most likely that 50 year old's kids will be looking to old men for love they never got.

Men are the major predators of the whole world.

If Gen Z women despise men, then good.

OP is delusional and only talking to her other six stupid girl personae.

MASSIVELY SAD!

R169 It is predatory because they glamorize it and market in a way that makes it seem cool and exciting like a movie. An 18-year-old simply lacks the critical thinking skills to see things in a nuanced light and to make such a decision that can greatly impact their life. It's just like credit card companies sending offers to people who turn 18 knowing they lack impulse control. The truth is the army needs young men because they are reckless and impulsive and believe they are invincible. Hence they are more effective as soldiers due to their risk taking.

[quote]It's important to differentiate between an age difference when one person is say 55 and the other is 42 vs. when one is 35 and the other 22. An age difference when older is less important because the younger person has both more experience and less vulnerable.

So what, though? They're not 15 or 16, they're 22! Isn't it up to them who they want to date? They can vote, drink, etc. Why put it on the 35 year old like they're "preying" on another adult?

Everyone is a victim now, OP. The Left is the new Moral Majority.

R163 IF an 18 year old can't consent to a relationship with a 42 year old, then they shouldn't be able to vote either.

R171, they love misogynistic trannies.

R174 adults can be victims of predators too. But ultimately I agree it's a choice. I still love seeing women give men shit about it though, it's hilarious to see how they cry "bully!" when they get told they look old and unattractive.

R162, gays are at the forefront of this some crap and gender is a gay issue. Trannies have invaded our spaces.

R175, it's so fkin sickening. It's ruining society this victim mentality.

I think voting and consent should stay at 18. Mainly because many teens work and pay tax, so should be able to vote. Consent to sex is something that can't really be easily enforced because once someone finishes puberty around 14 to 17, they are ready to have sex and will seek it hence why most countries have the consent around 16. Enlisting in the military, drinking and credit card should be 21 because science basically confirms the brain develops better impulse around that time and all of those actions have serious repercussions. Most historical societies didn't even allow men to serve until 20 after they had a beard and their body fully developed. No point in time were teenage boys ever seen as adult men. And while the adult of adulthood is 18, technically most people aren't financially independent until their 20s and are often on their parents insurance and phone coverage until their early to mid-20s. Very rare for an 18-year-old to take care of themselves without help from others.

The driving thing is rough because American society is very auto heavy. Ideally if should be between 18 to 21 but most teens work or depend cars to get around. So it should stay 16 until effective and pervasive public transportation ever becomes nationalized.

I see you, Boris. Unleasing your sock puppets on this thread to spew your Rethug shit. All the same comments you copy and paste from a clipboard to every thread.

[quote] On the looks-interests-finances scale they are compatible

A 50 year old man is financially equal to a 24 year old girl? That is highly unusual.

I'm 60, and the last two guys I went out with were 33 and 35. They both totally pursued me, one was great and one was way too immature. It felt so weird being out in public with them though that it didn't work. (the sex for the great guy was also surprisingly bad so that didn't help) We all know we shouldn't care what other people think but it is weird to be with someone and just have people giving you odd looks everywhere you go.

When I was 17 I wanted to lose my virginity and guys my age were silly. So I had an affair with a 40-year-old because I wanted someone who knew what they were doing. I'm an early Boomer. After a while, I got what I wanted from the affair and dumped his old ass. Did not affect me at all. I never regretted it or even thought about it much. I was very mature for my age and so were a lot of my peers. I kind of shocked at how puritanical this generation is. It's weird. I think they just can't cope with relationships that are not on their phones. Real life scares them. We were different, we couldn't wait to grow up.

I like the 10 years older 10 years younger to date. There’s a lot of nice looking guys at the gym in their 20s and some of my friends in their 20s and the generational divide is glaring and at least for me would be hard to overcome. I mean small talk and chit chat is fine, but geez there’s almost nothing in common with them and their immaturity is too much. That being said, I’d fuck most of their fathers though.

Also when the age gap is wide your age and appearance sticks out like a sore thumb.

[quote]

On the looks-interests-finances scale they are compatible

A 50 year old man is financially equal to a 24 year old girl? That is highly unusual. [quote]

I didn't say equal, r183, I said compatible. Also, 24 years old is a woman, not a girl. She's 30 now, he's 56. Both come from money, and are high earners. He's winding down his career, she's entering the growth years of hers. I don't know if they'll stay together, or she will decide she wants marriage and/or kids at some point. For now, they seem really happy together and have fun.

As for his adult children having Daddy issues, maybe but not in the way you'd suspect. He was basically Mr. Mom during their childhood as his ex-wife, their mother, had always been career-driven and socially ambitious, family was not her first priority.

I fucked up the quote in r187 but was quoting r183 who quoted me.

R185 and the way to grow up is to fuck an old man? We have different ideas of maturity

My parents had an arranged marriage. My mom was 21/22 and my dad was 30/31 when my older sister was born. They hate each other so the marriage was a mistake anyway, but does this make my dad a predator?

[quote] Both come from money, and are high earners.

I thought you said she wasn't with him for the money.

R95 I don’t think Leo’s relationships are genuine.

??R191. If she has her own money she's not with him for money.

R190 why an arranged marriage. Are you Muslim or was your dad a gay Kennedy or something.

R194 I’m half Indian, half Nepali but born in the USA.

[quote] Also, 24 years old is a woman, not a girl.

People refer to females in their twenties as girls all the time. If I had said a "70 year old girl" that would be weird.

Men call 24 year old women girls all the time.

R62, you sound more annoying than the older man you dated. I bet he has stories about you.

On the contrary. R62 seems to be one of the few posters on this thread who has any experience with this. The rest is mostly stupid pontificating.

[quote] seems to be one of the few posters on this thread who has any experience with this.

Yes. I'm sure he must be the only person on this thread who has ever dated somebody older.

R198 the old man they dated still jacks off to the thought of them. And pines after "what could have been".

I dated a younger man once, his name was Dirk, and this is strictly off the record but he’s nearly 5 years younger than me.

[quote]No one is forcing 18 yr olds to sign up for the military today.

Correct. But only an unempathetic fool would suggest there's no economic coercion due to profound poverty in the U.S. If you're dirt poor, poorly educated, with no prospects, and no hope, the military offers a roof over your head, free food, free health care, and a pension.

My 34yo friend just divorced his wife of 5 years. They had been together for almost 10 years. They've met at work when he was only 23 years old. The wife was 6 years older, married and already had two young children (2 and 6) at the time. He basically became a step-dad over night at the age of 23. Later they married and had another child. Everyone thought they were solid and very shocked when they suddenly announced their separation last year.

A couple of months later he started dating a 22yo, very hot girl who had just graduated from college. Instead of hanging out with his 40yo wife on the couch watching TV, he goes to music festivals, clubs and on vacations with his new gf and her friends. The wife and everyone in her orbit is pissed by this "outrageous behavior". The ex wife is especially pissed that he replaced her with 12 years younger girl and is having the time of his life.

I'm not surprised. I'm only surprised he didn't replace her earlier. Dude was only 23 when he suddenly became a father with all the responsibilities and missed out on a lot in his 20s. Boys will be Boys.

R204 Look at this cunt trying to mythologize being a step-father. In nature or biology, the father would kill the step children and replace them with his own. There is nothing special or great about raising some bitch's bastard children. Most men would choose to never get involved.

R204 said they have a child together too. Anyway, if he had misgivings about marrying a single mother, he should have never done it, let alone have another kid with her.

As an example, I know someone who was close friends with psychotic Angie Jolie. She told me that Vivienne and Knox are actually Elon Musk's biological kids. That is why tinymeat Brad's relationship/marriage fell apart. He didn't wanna raise another man's bastard kids. Look at pics with Knox and Elon Musk. They are mirror images.

R205 cunts like you are insufferable. Please cook throughly in a properly lit grease fire.

[quote]No one is forcing 18 yr olds to sign up for the military today.

[quote]Correct. But only an unempathetic fool would suggest there's no economic coercion due to profound poverty in the U.S.

If mandatory military service and the draft were both still in place, the US would be a lot less prone to engaging in long military conflicts.

Part of why the draft ended should have been a design feature, not an unintended consequence: more people from all walks of life, every socio-economic tier, and all neighborhoods were drafted, fought, and died in Vietnam.

The burden of fighting wars now falls disproportionately on specific communities and income brackets while the decision to go to war and the massive financial profits of the military-industrial complex go to another.

Ending the draft unintentionally created the current problem r203 identified.

R208 OMFG. Grease fire is the best you brain dead Boomer cunts can come up with? Puke.

R210, please cook you have no business here among decent folks.

FU, Boomer. Your horrible tacky brain dead generation is finally going cunt up.

Everyone is so young, and filtered, and beautiful on Instagram. It's reverting back to "Logan's Run" times, when everyone over thirty was gross and should die!

R204 hard to feel sorry for the woman since she was married and cheating on her husband with him. Regardless, the 22 year old most likely is cheating on him. One thing I've noticed is women with significantly older men as their partners almost always cheat.

Women want to be catered to and treated like infants.

[Quote][R204] hard to feel sorry for the woman since she was married and cheating on her husband with him. Regardless, the 22 year old most likely is cheating on him.

He was one of the hottest guys in college and I would have fucked him in a heartbeat. So I was surprised he ended up with a married older woman with 2 young children. Who wants that at that age? Dude was only 23yo and very hot and the woman he ended up with rather plain looking (in my gay opinion). He's still a very good looking man at 34 and I'm not surprised he's dating a younger woman. But a 12 year age gap is a lot. I can't imagine dating a 22yo. They have so much energy and I need my sleep.

I feel kinda sorry for his ex-wife. A recently divorced man hooking up with a much younger woman is such a cliché. But she kinda did the same 10 years ago when she left her husband for a 23yo old boy.

I know it may sound like I'm picking on women, but honestly I think society tends to adopt whatever morality around what women seem to want at any particular moment.

In the late 90s and early 2000s, women being overtly sexual and wanting to date around and wanting to hook up was cool. Now that those women have gotten older, we're in this new era of mining everybody's pasts for unearthed trauma and a sexual reckoning of sorts.

I'm always a bit curious if I see a woman with too many gay male friends, or if they seem to want to be my friend too much. Not that I'm un-nice or anything but it's like someone said above: women will fetishize and use gay men as a stand-in for having actual relationships with straight men.

Not sure why people keep bringing middle aged women into this when it's coming from young women. Ask any young woman who has dated an older man and she'll tell you that the majority of criticism comes from her peers.

R218 That's because they're her peers. She's probably not privy to what women think who are her man's age think because she doesn't hang out with them.

I think it's older women pushing the narrative that age gaps = trauma more than younger women. When you're 22-23, you think 40 is old. At some point you start to realize, oh, well, actually it's not that old. Plus, younger girls have no adult competition; women in their 30s and 40s do.

Older women can get it from younger, handsome men easily. Easily. Hey want to fuck, nsa? Of course they do. They love an older, confident woman taking the lead and not needing anything but sex.

They can't always easily get a relationship, but not many want an emotional relationship with someone half their age anyway.

It's the delusional middle-aged men that think a younger woman will really love them when it's about $$$$

R219 that hasn't been my experience at all. All criticisms I've heard have come from young women and men. It's a shoulder shrugger for most middle aged people, both women and men.

[quote]When you're 22-23, you think 40 is old. At some point you start to realize, oh, well, actually it's not that old.

Yes. Usually when you, yourself, turn 40 and go into a textbook mid-life crisis because you realize most of the 22-23-year-olds you want to bang now find you repulsive and weird.

R222 That's also true in my experience. Though I do hear it from middle aged or older women, sometimes - if they have daughters who are in their teens or 20s.

Middle aged or older people in general, today, grew up in a world where "whatever adults do behind closed doors in their own business" was considered the most enlightened viewpoint. The most 'woke' you could be, if you will. The way a lot of kids are now, about age differences, would have struck us as bizarre.

I remember a girl I knew at college, 20, usually went out with guys around her age, though at one point she was going out with a guy who played in a symphony orchestra, who was in his middle or late 30s. Nobody thought anything of it. I had a woman professor (probably asst. prof) at college who was married to a professor - the upshot was, he had been her prof when she was a grad student, originally. She told me this info. And they were apparently happily married. It never crossed my mind as anything to be outraged about. Has anyone been able to figure out why young people look at this stuff so differently now?

R224 Because they have infantilized all their lives so they equate everything with pedophilia and perversion.

[quote]Has anyone been able to figure out why young people look at this stuff so differently now?

It's because of the internet. That's where most predators congregate because of the anonymity and most young people spend more time on the internet than Gen Xrs and Boomers did in their youth. So, there's been more casual exposure to predators as internet use became more prevalent. So, now, people 15 - 20 years older ring alarm bells. Maybe not of being predatory, but certainly of being weird af.