Lil Goop throws rager in The Hamptons

Good for Apple. We like rich generous party girls of 18.

resembles Stella McCartney

Before you all start in on this rich spoiled brat, when I was a teenager, back before time, having parties when your parents were away was standard procedure. Some of them even got busted, but they were all fun.

The biggest difference is that this kid's parents has a way better house then our parents did

Gwyneth so deserves this.

Goop: "How dare the cops raid MY house"

Cops: " You're not special, I know an ex-president whose house got raided"

R3 I was gonna say the same exact thing - fancier pad and no doubt the party cost quite a bit more $$$, but stop the presses an 18 yo threw a party while her parents were away!

I wonder where she’s going to college btw anyone know?

Bard? Vassar? Brown? NYU? Cool state school?

She looks like a complete and utter bitch

R3 True, but so much "Oh, Dear!"

this kid's parents HAVE a way better house THAN our parents did

^ Did you enjoy your grammar Nazi orgasm? 😒

How many Trans Womyn of Color attended the party?

It was all fun and games until 8 girls and 2 boys electrocuted their fuck holes with Goops' top secret thingamajig egg-like prototypes.

Isn't this the same cunt who bullied that other kid at her school so that Gwyneth had to pay them off to make it go away?

Apple looks a total diva princess cunt with attitude.

[quote] Isn't this the same cunt who bullied that other kid at her school so that Gwyneth had to pay them off to make it go away?

Yes, Apple is well-known amongst the parents of her high school. They have complained repeatedly about her vicious and pathological behavior.

Getting her lips done already?

Horrid

As several posters to the story at OP pointed out, there is a marked difference between the photo of her taken by a pap on the streets and the social media ready photos she's posted

[quote]Bard? Vassar? Brown? NYU? Cool state school?

No, probably University of Second Choice/University of Spoiled Children AKA USC.

The definition of “bitch face”.

‘Atta girl! Teenagers gonna be teenagers.

So....ummm...like, I'm having this kegger pard-ee whether you care or not. My mom and dad can buy all your sorry asses

R16, yes, I was thinking the same. Trout pout thanks to fillers or whatever you need to inject to get such porn actress lips.

Let's see, this girl's mother AND grandmother are known cunts and you're surprise that she's one too? 🤔

Inherited her mom’s wonky eye, but not her thin lips. And she’s a bit more zaftig than she appears on SM.

R6 anywhere where Mommy Gwynny Goop and Daddy Chris Martin's cash will get her into.

All together now!

Oh, she can get into any school she wants. Parents who can pay the full freight and, especially if she’s not a good student, write a big check for a new wing… And they like the cache of hosting the spawn of the rich and famous.

But otherwise, throwing a big party at your parents’ house while they’re away was normal when I was a teenager.

Those lips aren't her real ones, R25.

I never saw an apple with cankles before.

Like she needs an education. Trust fund baby with a job anywhere she wants, IF she wants. She’s being groomed to be a trophy wife, regardless of she’s a lawyer or “influencer”.

R25 Those lips are fake...

Her brother's name is Moses.

Apple and Moses.

Jesus Christ.

That photo is VERY unflattering at R31 and possibly closer to reality than the babydoll Lolita shit she's merching in her other pics.

CU Next Tuesday!

Maybe she got fed up eating the quinoa and macrobiotic shit her mother forced on her all those years and loves nothing more than a juicy Big Mac.

Apple and Moses.

And are either parent remotely religious? By that I don't mean spiritual bullshit like crystals or playing a sound bath over your vadge. But actually religious?

Entitled little bitch!

I used to live near Goop in the West Village.

One day when I was coming home from work and walking through Soho, I was passing an outdoor cafe table where a nanny was asking a little girl, “What do you want to eat, Apple?”

I thought, oh Christ. There can only be one!

(I frequently say Blythe pushing one of the kids in a baby carriage.)

[quote]She looks like a complete and utter bitch

Didn't far fall from the tree did she.

No idea, R38. All I know is that Chris Martin became a dickhead when he started dating Goop -- and his band's music started to go down the shitter, too.

The first two records were brilliant but when Goop entered Martin's life, everything started to go downhill little by little.

I ran into Goop and Apple at a dog park in Silver Lake some 5 years ago. She called Apple "Ap".

At least the nanny gave her something to eat, R40. Goop would've starved her while lighting a vagina-scented candle and shoving those eggs she created up the girl's snatch. '

Don’t wish to go off topic, but anyone know anything about Dakota Johnson? Thought she had a rep for being cool and chill?

If so, why would she want to involve herself in the Apple-Goop-Chris Martin mess?

My friend managed a club in NYC in the 90s. Lots of celeb stories but one I remember is her having to tell Goop and Kate Moss to please not dance on the leather couches as they were destroying them with their heels. Goop went ballistic. I hope there’s lots of teenage puke on her couches after Apple’s party.

I’ve no doubt this kid is bratty beyond imagining.

When you’re out in the Hamptons, there are all these rich kids who sneer at the locals working in the markets as though they are filthy beasts. I’m sure Apple is closer to that stereotype than to the type who is friendly and thanks the clerks.

I'm sure she already has the pre-nup ready for whatever poor sap marries her.

Can you imagine how that monster turned out with THAT as her mother?

Never forget, Gywnnie the little snow elf was just one of many who climbed on top of Harvey. Sure she rewrote events to suit her own narrative, but a ho is a ho is a ho.

When these rich kids go to private schools, they know they hold all the power. All of it.

And that never ends well. It’s a recipe for molding assholes. Hope she’s not one.

you gotta do who ya gotta do. The guys and gals who didn't put out? Or put up with this? WENT NOWHERE.

Apple looks super-skinny in top picture at OP's article and kinda chunky in lower picture with mom. Maybe she used poor judgment because she's hungry.

R53 does a meal at via carota really put on that much weight in one sitting? Actually it might.

I saw that on Goop’s IG stories. They ordered the fried zucchini and all the good crap. Nothing remotely healthy was on that table.

R54, that was probably one of those "yes we're so skinny but we can eat absolutely anything and not put on weight!" bullshit stories so many size zero celebrities put out.

GOOP wrote about Apple "You are deeply extraordinary in every way."

Nope.

But she can't give a single example of what those 'ways' are R56.

R50 that’s a man, baby!

[quote]Before you all start in on this rich spoiled brat, when I was a teenager, back before time, having parties when your parents were away was standard procedure. Some of them even got busted, but they were all fun.

Yes, but GOOP is constantly rubbing her pristine, upper-class "more enlightened than you" in people's faces.

Meanwhile, rich kids throwing a party in an ultra-lavish area is as common and stereotypical as you could get.

R55 yeah but Apple actually looks like she enjoys eating as we’ve established. Goop isn’t that skinny anymore either. Crazy fit for someone her age, but not skinny. If she works out as much as she does she could have “cheat meals” and still be fine (although I’m sure there was a decent amount of that fried zucchini left over).

She inherited her mother’s self-satisfied face times ten. Her mother was a decent actress at a time. This girl will be lucky to be in the background of one of Gigi Hadid’s Prada ads.

What do you have to be doing to get the cops called on you in the Hampton?

Sharting in the hot tub?

They live in a cramp bougie neighborhood. The kids probably played loud music and were boisterous outside. That's it. Sounds like a big crowd.

cramped

[quote]What do you have to be doing to get the cops called on you in the Hampton?

Don't look at me.

R62 not much actually.

R37 Paltrow eats meat and French fries. And smokes. Not sure where people get this quinoa thing from. Does no one read hee cookbooks? That she wrote herself? Tee hee.

Her very own recipe.

The photo of Gwyneth makes her look like Sissy Spacek.

[Quote] Apple, angry at the police, reached behind her and threw Goop at the officers.

The comments didn't disappoint 😄

My good GOD in heaven - how old is Gwinnie now? I looked it up and she's apparently 49 but in the pap shot she looks only slightly shy of 65!

And FAT!

Already getting lop injections I see, to bad she can't fix that lazy eye.

This is what happens when you name your kid "Apple"

The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I would be a bitch too if my name were so stupid.

Did she name her after a scented vagina candle?

Need some background on the bullying story please.

This photo in the article is supposedly of Apple and Gwyneth but it doesn't look like either one of them.

She inherited Mun's awful breaky nose. I suppose thats the only grudging bone Lady Karma will throw us.

R78 Oh that totally looks like Paltrow- typically smug expression.

The daughter is plain but will be shoved down our throats as a singer/actress/influencer/model or something equally vapid.

I think the lady looks more like Kristen Wiig than Gwyneth in that photo but yes, the face is unmistakably smug.

It’s them. Of course when you’ve got a crew of makeup and hair, plus clever filters, you look a certain way on IG.

Gwyneth looks better than her daughter. Which is something I’ve noticed on the UES. There are middle-aged women with better bodies than teenage girls. The women are lean and tight and toned, the girls are loose and flabby and sloppy. It’s remarkable.

^^*awful beaky (not breaky) nose

Not really surprising she inherited Gwyneth awful personality

I don't doubt she's a cunt, but she looks like a normal teen girl, body-wise. I'm shocked Gwyneth didn't make her daughter into some skin and bones anorexic.

Goop is a "good person" and would make a point not to raise an anorexic.

Apple Martin or Apple Martini? Was one named after the other?

I vaguely remember a puff piece about Goop on 60 Minutes saying she had to call Michael Douglas, who was on the Board of Regents, to get into UCSB. Might be time to make another call.

How is that ugly little muppet Apple, bullying anyone? I guess rich private school kids are soft. If she tried to pull that in a public school she would get beat up in a bathroom by a group of girls.

^ "she had to call Michael Douglas, who was on the Board of Regents, to get into UCSB"

She gave him a blowjob, didn't she?

I might be misremembering this bit of info, but I could have sworn when they released her name, they stated she was called Apple after The Beatle's record label.

It was Cartier's Apple.

🤔 Pretty sure she was named after Apple Annie...

I think it was actually her godparent Steven Spielberg who was called on to pull strings to get her admitted to UCSB, even though she went to Spence for h.s. That’s a powerful kind of dumb, at least academically.

Hey Gwyneth—

Your kid has a very punchable face!

Didn't she last 2 semesters, tops?

[quote] She looks like a complete and utter bitch

How can that be ? when the rest of the family is so adorable...go figure

What will uncle Jay-Z say ?

Apple fell from the cunt tree, she hit every branch on her way down, and then the tree fell on top of her

again...I'M SORRY !!!!

This is one downside to being a celebrity parent. At a certain point, the kids start running with a really fast crowd. They have the potential to embarrass you, and expose you to lawsuits.

R101 = ghost of James Caan

Three generations of cunts. But there is karma. Gwyneth is less attractive than Blythe, and Apple is less attractive than Gwyneth.

Her eyes look angry

She has tubby girl genetics.

I just think she's got the roundness of youth going on still. Both Goop and Chris Martinii are quite skinny people.

R98 are they even friends anymore? I do think he fucked Goop.

R107 I think they've stopped that charade. One of them was too embarrassed by the connection, and I don't think it was Goop

"I just think she's got the roundness of youth going on still."

And heading to the globular college phase. She has no discernable talent, so look for the usual blow-up as she inwardly and with a book hates her mom.

Cunteth's eyes are starting to morph into buttholes.

Did Gwyneth really never foresee the "Bad Apple" headline?

Pomme (= apple, en francaise) is actually a common first name in France. (if I translate this song correctly, it means " apple is a huge slut" so, well adjusted for this circumstance)

Goopy poopie

R19, so in other words Brown, Ivy League school of choice for rich and Hollywood children.

"Pomme" has cankles.

[quote] Her eyes look angry

Her eyes are looking in opposite directions.

My point about Apple’s roundness is that she doesn’t appear that way on her social media. The difference is glaring.

oh, completely agree r117. SM photos are heavily filtered.

She's got the worst of both her dear parents

Gweneth, like Posh Spice, would no doubt secretly love having a chubby daughter. That way, they’re the skinniest bitch in the family.

Just for the record, I liked/respected my parents and wasn't one of those kids on the thread who thinks "everybody" had a big party when their parents were away and trashed their house. Those people had some issues with mommy and daddy, I guess.

Charlotte Casiraghi of Monaco's middle name is Pomeline. Not sure what it means, but it's a very pretty word.

Goops face looks like a thumb that has been soaking in water for too long and is all pruned.

Goop posted this performative tribute on Pom's birthday, very typical of what parents on social media do these days:

“I’m a bit of a loss for words this morning (😭). I could not be more proud of the woman you are. You are everything I could have dreamed of and so much more. Proud doesn’t cover it, my heart swells with feelings I can’t put in to words. You are deeply extraordinary in every way. Happy birthday my darling girl. I hope you know how special you are, and how much light you have brought to all who are lucky enough to know you."

"Deeply extraordinary" - see, this is the problem.

They crazy to put all that shit out on the net. It will backfire big time.

I wonder if close family friend William Joel has weighed in…

Why throw a rager in the hamptons at height of peak season when *all* of your testy, litigious neighbors will be around? Just do some Jell-O shots, take some E and play naked twister with a dozen people in the basement, sheesh.

Goop didn’t even go to college. There’s no way this girl is smart enough to get through one semester anywhere.

@r121, Your parents never went away, did they?

She’s aging nicely…and chunkier than I would’ve expected with her skeletal parents.

It's your parents job to uplift you and instill self love and confidence in you. You need both to make healthy choices in life.

Apple has a cute body the boys would like, I imagine.

Her face is a pudding. Not ugly, but not distinctive.

Cunt of cunt.

Big surprise.

How long until Gooplet is an aspiring “model”?

^ When she loses 25lbs

Not long r133. At the very least, she will probably start being an influencer before or after she drops out of college.

She seems like the type who would sleep with (and eventually marry) her stepdad.

Entitled parents raise entitled kids.

Goop cutting off a school bus with Apple on the back of her Vespa. She was in a hurry to get to the red light.

@r136... I would 😛

[quote]My point about Apple’s roundness is that she doesn’t appear that way on her social media. The difference is glaring.

FFS, you people are idiots. The "thinner" SM photos are of Apple a few years ago when she was still a gangly teen. She's....uh...bloomed since then. Not unusual at all for a girl of 15/16 to be rail thin and then pack on the weight by 18.

@r137, What a bonehead move

r137 I recall that video from several years ago.

OMG, the gushing praise her mother heaped on her for her birthday:

[quote]You are everything I could have dreamed of and so much more. Proud doesn’t cover it, my heart swells with feelings I can’t put in to words.”

[quote]The Goop founder continued, “You are deeply extraordinary in every way. Happy birthday my darling girl. I hope you know how special you are, and how much light you have brought to all who are lucky enough to know you.

WOW! This kid hasn't accomplished anything....yet Goop tells her she's "deeply extraordinary". LOL. Good job turning your bratty, "deeply ordinary" kid into a narcissistic monster.

[R19] Her safety school is the University of California-Lower Achievers 😘

^Ouch someone was rejected by UC Berkeley or UCLA it sounds...

And UCLA has always been known as University of Caucasians Lost among Asians.

She sho is ugly. Her eyes are on either side of her head. How these people have so much confidence is beyond me.

R13, I never heard that story. Though it’s very believable. She looks like the epitome of a mean girl. Wasn’t Gwyneth the same? I don’t the parents care she threw a rager, probably quite proud of her.

Got me thinking about Brad Pitt. I don’t like Angelina and think those kids probably have a host of other problems, but Shiloh looks very sweet. Actually they all do except the older two boys.

[144] The sound you heard was something else…I did not apply to either USC or UCLA. 🤷🏻‍♂️

P.S. Add up all of the Nobel Prizes from both UCLA & USC, and they still wouldn’t make the list of top three universities in California.

R137 that must be a different Gwyneth Paltrow, because THE Gwyneth paltrow makes a living out of giving life advice to the Hoi polloi. She would never do that.

THis always gets me

" other than raising two kids better than you, working out harder than you, and starring in the occasional movie, hum never like you, I consider my main occupation: Goop"

She couldn’t even stick to the food stamp challenge for a week. She was spotted at a restaurant for dinner a few days into it.

R147

What are you going on about?

Me:

Berkeley '88

UCLA School of Med 2000

UCLA Residency

Go Cal and Go Bruins!

^ And UCLA SOM has around a 4% acceptance rate, much lower than most Ivies.

I love goop, its the most interesting project she has worked on.

But I don't view her as a lifestyle expert, she is an expert of being wealthy and liking nice things.

[quote] goop, its the most interesting project she has worked on

that pretty much says it all

[quote]The "thinner" SM photos are of Apple a few years ago when she was still a gangly teen. She's....uh...bloomed since then. Not unusual at all for a girl of 15/16 to be rail thin and then pack on the weight by 18.

She better not go to college. No way can she afford to pack on the Freshman 15.

what about the boy ? are they hiding him ? is he retarded like the boy Depp, or deformed or something ?

From now on, I shall refer to her as "Goople."

[quote]Gweneth, like Posh Spice, would no doubt secretly love having a chubby daughter. That way, they’re the skinniest bitch in the family.

It’s pretty common today for Gen Z girls to be much heftier than their X’er mothers. This is a new generation of lardasses.

her dad seems nice. he's currently on a world tour. he makes an insane amount of money touring so their kids will never have to work. no motivation = no discipline.

Apparently this “Goop” woman is 49 years of age and has ONE Academy Award nomination??!

[152] Take ‘er easy…did you lose your sense of humor down by Strawberry Creek? I was snarking back to someone else [and we both know that Anderson SOM’s and Geffen SOM’s admit rates are similar to all the other T1-2 MBA and MD programs].

I always thought that Goopy had the most punch able face in the world until I saw her spawn,Apple. What a little county face that brat has.

GOOP and Mini GOOP are GROSS. They need to read Martha Stewart’s books on class, manners and looks. The eyes on GOOP JR are almost fetal alcohol syndrome.

"I’m a bit of a loss for words this morning (😭). I could not be more proud of the woman you are. You are everything I could have dreamed of and so much more. Proud doesn’t cover it, my heart swells with feelings I can’t put in to words. You are deeply extraordinary in every way. Happy birthday my darling girl. I hope you know how special you are, and how much light you have brought to all who are lucky enough to know you."

Talks a lot, but says absolutely NOTHING. The above spiel is the most vacuous rhetoric, it could have been produced by a computer programme. Devoid of any intrinsic detail or specifics.

I'm sure Martha's the one who called the cops.

Like mother, like daughter - stuck up cunts. Why do people like this get all the money and power in the world?

R19 My maid went to UCLA

Does Dakota not live in the premises ? Did SHE call the cops ? that would be hilarious

I remember the first time I read about gwinnie, in a teen mag. 95 or 96. She talked about how bitchy she was to other(fat) girls in high school. She was a bully herself.

Beware of the vicious jealous queens who hate and find fault ( especially physical) EVERYONE

I always thought it was too bad Gwyneth was too old to play Amy in GONE GIRL, though Affleck is her contemporary and was too old for his part yet no one complained much. She would barely have to act.

After reading her birthday missive to Apple, I think we know who should do the part if there's a remake.

Playing a cold Trust Fund baby in A Perfect Murder was her only believable role. Most people were rooting for Michael Douglas.

R170 It was a New York magazine article by Nancy Jo Sales.

I heard that Apple applied for this year's rowing scholarship at USC. You go, girl!

I wonder what her friends call her. I hope it's not Apple or "App". I'd give her a nickname. Like "Fruity".

Hasn’t almost every teenager in America done this?

BFD.

Also, she looks just like her mom. Cute kid.

Gwyneth really does lead a charmed life. She gets Brad Pitt, she breaks his heart and cheats on him. She marries a nice, rich rock star, when they uncouple he is like a puppy dog for the good of their kids. She remarries a good looking, seemingly well adjusted producer soon after (though step kids seem to dislike her). Her career starts drying up, she becomes one of the first lifestyle brands. Look at all her exes and their dramas. I always say bitches really do prosper over nice people. GP is living proof.

Oh, please. La Palt was in on it "We'll be gone long enough for you to do what the neighbors are expecting! Have fun, Hun, but not too much, wink, wink.'

[quote]I wonder what her friends call her. I hope it's not Apple or "App". I'd give her a nickname. Like "Fruity".

They refer to her as "that wonky-eyed cunt."

Goopette, lil Smurf.

R146 I will be a miracle if Shiloh doesn't have massive psychological problems considering her own mother said in an interview that she resents how privileged she is, that she has to make an effort to not ignore her needs, and called her a blob with no personality. And that was even before she grew up a copy of her father who is now Angelina’s archenemy.

Goop may be a vapid shallow bitch, but as an upside of that, she seems incapable of harboring prolonged deep negative feelings for anyone, or pursuing vendettas against people the way Jolie does.

R177 they call her “Fuji”, “Red Delicious” or “Granny Smith”

Even her fucking name is bullshit because her cunt mother when asked about it, never told the truth that one of Cold Play's managers or agents had just had a daughter and they named her Apple and Paltrow --being the phony cunt that she is-- never told the truth about that. "Oh, Apples are just so pure and refreshing!" No, bitch your then husband's employee had a daughter with the name Apple and rather than be honest about how you came up with the name, you lied, you unoriginal bitch.

Goop is prettier than her daughter.

Mark my words. Fruitcup will be 100x more entitled and bratty than Goop. Just a feeling.

R172 that would have been interesting. I felt the problem with pikes casting is that she was just too much of an overtly chilly European ice queen. What the role needed was an AMERICAN style bitch . Someone who could smile sweetly long enough to manipulate people like the haus frau neighbor. Pike seemed like the type who would be incapable of faking niceness and vulnerability during interactions with people like the neighbor.

R184, I actually think Shiloh is a copy of Angelina. Eye color is Brad’s, but mouth and overall look exactly like AJ now. The girl twin is the only one that looks like Brad’s side.

[Quote] She remarries a good looking, seemingly well adjusted producer soon after (though step kids seem to dislike her).

I don't think Brad is that good looking and he came off as a cunt during his time on Glee.

R25 Yes, I am a tad surprised at that. One would think Goop would have for certain gifted her an ED.

R190 Shiloh looks like Brad Pitt and Jon Voight, two of Angelina’s favorite people in the world.

r95 "punchable face" is exactly what I came here to type !

r98 I don't know her

r105 Is Chrissy Martin a tubby girl?

r164 Goop don't hold a candle to Queen Martha.

Martha would knock the vaginal-scented candle out of Goop's hand if she tried to hold it near her.

Poop shouldn't be mentioned in the same sentence as Martha.

She does at least have somewhat of sense of humor about herself…can’t TOTALLY hate her

Martha Stewart has just announced a new scented candle of her own, "Dusty Old Snatch"... Available at better K-Marts everywhere

The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree...

r200 RDJ wants Armie's taint.

Apple is rotten to the core...

Planned publicity stunt orchestrated by Gwynnie herself.

When you give a child a bizarre name like 'Apple' you are insuring that child will have to be defending it every day in grade school. Only a thoughtless self-centered mother would be capable of doing that.

Well, to be fair, Apple has the luxury of being the child, stepchild, and grandchild of multimillionaires.

[quote]though step kids seem to dislike her

proof?

I have to say, I never understood the backlash Paltrow received for naming her daughter Apple. Surely it isn’t any more odd than naming your kid Peach, or Olive, North, West, Brooklyn, Paris, Chicago, Princess, Prince, Charisma, or Petal Blossom Rainbow, yet these are all names that celebrities gave to their children and caught way less flack than Goop did. It’s not like she named her iPhoneX.

You think "Apple" is weird, Goop was going to name her son "Orange", but didn't want people constantly comparing Apple and Orange 🙄

“Surprised”, R24, not “surprise”.

@r210, Goop wisely named her son "Moses", because no one would ever call him "Mo" for short 🙄

Sans fard Goop looks just like some poor white trash hag from a West Virginia trailer park.

@r211, Did you enjoy that rather lame grammar Nazi orgasm?

Did you notice that there are more than 50 posts without periods?

Knock yourself out.

[quote]Did you notice that there are more than 50 posts without periods?

R214 You must have a lot of time on your hands.

^ Nah, I made it up. I'll let you count to prove me wrong 😉

In that Voting Promo, Robert and Goop don't seem too fond of each other, underneath the shitty acting.

“Do you know who my Dad is? Better yet, do you know who my mother is?” - Lil Goop being disrespected

[quote] Surely it isn’t any more odd than naming your kid Peach, or Olive

Women have been named Olive for a long time.

Cunt-scented candles all over the place - probably had all the stray fratboys wandering in.

Olivia is just the Latin for Olive.

A lot of strippers are named Peaches!

Lil Goop is completely out of control. She’s like a 15 yr old Paris Hilton. Who’s her Nicole Richie?

It's still Nicole Richie.

R233 let's hope Apple never meets Olivia Jade.

I had no idea that Blythe Danner was meant to be a cunt too, I don't know why but I always thought she was cool, and likely embarrassed to have raised Goop.

Lil Goop: I don't think this was a good idea. The TikTokkers are being really mean about it.

Goop: Lil Goop, trust me on this. If you're gonna make it big like I did, you need edge. You need street cred. Now take your molly.

Lil Goop: I don't want to. I'm scared.

Goop: Honey. Listen to mommie. You're going to feel all love and light an hour from now. Take the fucking pill before the cops get here or I'm going to shove it down your throat.

Lil Goop: Mom, I—

Goop: That is NOT what I taught you to call me!

Lil Goop: Mommie! I—

Goop holds chalky pill imprinted with Woodstock pinched between her fingers. She thrusts it into her daughter's face. Daughter closes one eye to focus.

Goop: THIS is ecstasy in one swallow. And THESE FINGERS smell like my vagina. You choose. Take the pill yourself or these fingers are going down your little bitch gullet.

Lil Goop plucks the pill from Goop, Sr.'s fingers. She pops it in her mouth. Crunch.

Goop: Don't CHEW it! Fuck!

Lil Goop: I don't have a drink!

Goop: MAMACITA! BRING APPLE SOME KOMBUCHA!

Crunch, crunch.

Goop: Stop it! You retard!

Crunch, crunch.

Lil Goop: It's good. It tastes like aspirin.

Goop: Hey, did you know I did a movie one time with Brad where at the end the big surprise was my severed head in a box.

Lil Goop swallows.

Lil Goop: Yeah, Mommie, you showed it to me when I was four. Why?

Goop: I dunno. It just came to me. Honey, the cops are going to be here soon. Could you go find me a box?

Lil Goop: For what?

Goop: Nothing. Mamacita, bring me the ax.

This is payback for Maralago.

Bump!

I hate to say it, but her kids are very good looking. Better then Pitt’s and definitely better than Affleck’s (so far).

She is so pretty. I think she's hotter than Gwyneth at that age.

Here is a recent one it looks like he had a huge growth spurt and shaved his head BTW Paltrow is 5’9”

Good looking kids but both look a bit wall eyed in the link at r230.

R233 people here overdo it with the walleyed bit. Unless it’s really severe if you’re good looking a little asymmetry doesn’t matter much if at all.

I agree she’s prettier and softer looking than her mom.

Daughter is Michelle Pfeiffer level beautiful

She looks like Chris Martin. She definitely got upper lip filler though.

I don't think she's anything special looks-wise. That being said, she's no Rumer Willis.

Unpopular opinion - I really like the name Apple

She's the apple of her mother's eye!

She looks tall. I don't think Goop should make her daughter walk three steps behind her like a common servant.

Apple is no beauty. If she doesn't use sunscreen, she will end up looking like her prune face mother.

Anyone who gives their child a novelty name is someone who doesn't love that child. Period.

Is Apple a smoker like Poop?

When it comes to idiotic names, Apple is barely on the radar.

One of the MANY reasons I could never be a teacher is that I would never get through roll call without making faces and commentary.

R522 is a deliberate photo of them merching. Holding the “Optyx” bag just so. For the record, there are no paps on a regular day in East Hampton. This was a special shot arranged. (in case anyone didn’t know this.) There are celebs all day long and everyone ignores them.

Wow Moses is growing up fine 🍆

Calling your child Moses is downright cruel

It’s a lot to live up to? or down??

R242 I don't know why she's named Apple but maybe she's named after someone's surname, since Apple is a surname. (Alternately spelled Appel.)

And Fiona Apple has gone on tour with Coldplay - Apple was born a couple years after tha but I assume Chris Martin knew Fiona before that tour. So it's possible Apple was named after Fiona.

*that

She burned the house down and it smelled like vagina.

18 going on 80

I've never encountered a more unliveable person than Goop

R254 Do you think she's not actually alive?

Baby Goop couldn't even get into USC!

r254 r255 *unlikeable

Someone has to find out for us where this little bitch is going to college! The fact that she hasn’t bragged about the name yet says wonders.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

She is the most un-self aware celebrity out there. Her daughter will be foisted on us as a model or actress and will be equally insufferable.

[quote] She is the most un-self aware celebrity out there.

Hoop is up there, but believe Meghan Me Me Me Markle to take that top prize.

I wouldn't want to be Apple Paltrow's assigned freshman roommate.

R259, their eyes speak volumes. Not happy and cold

Gwyneth is looking old and rough.

Apple is at Vanderbilt.

It's well known in LA private school circles that Apple was forced to leave tony Harvard Westlake because she was a nasty bully....so she transfered to Crossroads where her mother went and she cleaned up her act. Marginally.

Moses is a doll and liked by everyone. Apple not so much.

Is she cockeyed?

R265, how do you know this ? If your story is true about Moses being favored and Goop being the fake asshole she is , POOR Apple

[267] it's no secret. Apple was a notorious bully when she was in junior high and in her first year of high school.

Moses is not favored he's just well liked . Unlike his sister.

I thought Gwyneth went to Spence?

R268, that indicates a dysfunctional family life. Happy , loved people don’t bully

Vanderbilt? All that money wasted on H-L and then Crossroads… well she’s no Ava Phillipe, that’s for sure.

^H-WL

The old money in the Hamptons won't put up with this 'second generation rich' shit for long.

R273 not sure what decade you’re beaming in from. At this point the Hamptons are so far off the deep end that someone like Goop IS old money to them.

So she has new people to bully.

Being away at school must be weird for her. If her peers have any idea who her parents are they probably aren’t impressed. It probably was a whole lot different growing up in LA and NY. When she was a little kid, the other kids in school knew who her parents are.

Gwendolyn had great parents and sometimes those qualities can skip a generation. Who knows, maybe Lil Goop will turn out to be the Audrey Hepburn model that Gwen never was.

R277

But... Wasn’t Audrey Hepburn thin?

Even skinny?

Because Lil Goop is quite thick-boned...

Like those three fat, fat, fat Dutch Royal Princesses.

The genetics in that family is unfortunate. Each generation gets uglier.

She looks ok on filtered pics but in the candid shot at R31 she has shoulders like a linebacker and serves some Trump spawn like no chin realness. The brother looks as if he could be cute in a few years though.

ALLEGEDLY: My cousin’s kid went to fancy LA private schools - same age as Apple Martin. She was (is?) known as a horrific bully. Apparently, she was so bad that one kid tried to off herself because of the treatment from Apple and Apple almost got kicked out of school. LA private school parents were always in a tizzy over this little cunt’s behavior and nastiness and ring-leading the other bitchy girls to target other kids.

She looks straight out of central casting for a mean girl.

My cousin said word on the street was that Gwyneth and the father were in complete denial about what an evil little cunt she was no matter how many meeting they got called in for. ALLEGEDLY. ACCORDING TO RUMOR.

[quote] She was (is?) known as a horrific bully. Apparently, she was so bad that one kid tried to off herself because of the treatment from Apple and Apple almost got kicked out of school.

She did get kicked out. Goop and Chris in complete denial. They think she is incapable of being so horrific. Goes beyond mean girl….

Not surprised about the rumors. The girl looks mean.