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“Poor, broke, busted, and disgusted!” - KC Pastor Berates Congregants for Not Buying Him a Movado Watch

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

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by Anonymousreply 73August 21, 2022 12:11 AM

I would've got up and walked out.

by Anonymousreply 1August 17, 2022 4:08 PM

Sing it, sister.

by Anonymousreply 2August 17, 2022 4:17 PM

You got that Red Lobster money!

You got that St. John Knit money!

by Anonymousreply 3August 17, 2022 4:19 PM

Please don’t let him be…

by Anonymousreply 4August 17, 2022 4:27 PM

What would the Prophetess Juanita Bynum say?

by Anonymousreply 5August 17, 2022 4:31 PM

You can get them on SALE!

by Anonymousreply 6August 17, 2022 4:38 PM

While it seems he lacks the charisma to scam as an evangelist, I'd be curious to see what the I.R.S. might find if they did a bit of investigation. How long has he been at this?

And Movado of all things? He may as well wear a Casio. Perhaps he's trying not to ask for "too much" at this point. But if I were going to scam for a watch, it would at least be a Tag Heuer, Audemars Piguet, or Cartier (I do love a Cartier Tank watch).

Movado is fine, but I suspect his taste level is questionable (if he has any taste at all). And that alone is more offensive to me than the fact that he's trying to misappropriate church funds for shit he doesn't even need.

Fuck these assholes. Tax all churches.

by Anonymousreply 7August 17, 2022 5:32 PM

What a scammer, but i guess he figured if it worked for rev jesse , it would work for him.

by Anonymousreply 8August 17, 2022 8:00 PM

At first glance, I thought that was Jussie Smo-lay in OP's pic. I could totally see him doing something similar.

by Anonymousreply 9August 17, 2022 8:08 PM

I always wondered why a congregation would want to watch a minister strut before them in a thousand dollar suit, enough bling that would rival a jewelry store and hear a sermon on sinful ways. Those are the hypocrites that were invited to the White House by the former president.

by Anonymousreply 10August 17, 2022 8:09 PM

The commentary from the pews is gold.

by Anonymousreply 11August 17, 2022 8:28 PM

The title alone gave it away, R4 but I was expecting him to look better. I should have known as he was demanding a Movado.

by Anonymousreply 12August 17, 2022 8:41 PM

Maybe his wife could skip a meal or three and he could buy one hisself.

by Anonymousreply 13August 17, 2022 8:42 PM

I asked in the other thread what is the psychology that would permit people to stay in obviously corrupt organizations.

by Anonymousreply 14August 18, 2022 10:14 AM

Asset forfeiture, for one

by Anonymousreply 15August 18, 2022 10:16 AM

Doesn’t everyone already have a Movado?

Shit, I have 3. They’re not that out of this world expensive.

by Anonymousreply 16August 18, 2022 10:36 AM

vanity, greed, selfishness, envy

that is some pastor you have there

by Anonymousreply 17August 18, 2022 10:47 AM

“ Pastor Sylvarena Funderburke”

A DL icon is born.

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by Anonymousreply 18August 18, 2022 11:21 AM

Holy smokes.

by Anonymousreply 19August 18, 2022 11:23 AM

It appears to be an elaborate code, a speaking in tongues, a black church semiotics I cannot access. The callbacks from the flock suggest it this isn't about the Movado, which is a signifier of something else.

by Anonymousreply 20August 18, 2022 11:29 AM

I googled Sylvarena Funderburke and trust the DM to find the most repulsive image of her.

by Anonymousreply 21August 18, 2022 11:31 AM

No different than Joel Osteen.

by Anonymousreply 22August 18, 2022 11:36 AM

Osteen is repellent.

by Anonymousreply 23August 18, 2022 11:41 AM

Prophetess Juanita Bynum’s DL nickname was “jazz hands”

What should Pastor Sylvarena’s nick be?

by Anonymousreply 24August 18, 2022 11:43 AM

Jesus wept.

by Anonymousreply 25August 18, 2022 12:34 PM

Ms. Sylvarena Thunderthighs.

by Anonymousreply 26August 18, 2022 1:10 PM

I’m shocked he didn’t encourage them to steal him one, isn’t that what they all do anyhow? Steal from the simple minded to make him live a lifestyle they never could. Dumbasses. Yo Yo Yo I’m mad pimpin at da club I mean church

by Anonymousreply 27August 18, 2022 1:12 PM

I always wondered why a congregation would want to watch a minister strut before them in a thousand dollar suit, enough bling that would rival a jewelry store and hear a sermon on sinful ways.

[quote] To make them believe that their God looks upon him favorably and delivers all this wealth to him and he will do the same for them, too, if they follow him and his high almighty advice.

You dress to impress. Duh.

by Anonymousreply 28August 18, 2022 1:15 PM

My apologies. I used the quote formatting all wrong.

[quote] I always wondered why a congregation would want to watch a minister strut before them in a thousand dollar suit, enough bling that would rival a jewelry store and hear a sermon on sinful ways.

To make them believe that their God looks upon him favorably and delivers all this wealth to him and he will do the same for them, too, if they follow him and his high almighty advice.

You dress to impress. Duh.

by Anonymousreply 29August 18, 2022 1:17 PM

Nah R1 ...I’m betting his congregation hustled and did everything in their power to get him his watch. Most were relieved he didnt ask for a Rolex

by Anonymousreply 30August 18, 2022 1:19 PM

Well, to be fair the gospel of American Jesus teaches that what we give to the ministry will come back to us times ten. These folks in the congregation are only cheating themselves by holding out on the love gifts.

by Anonymousreply 31August 18, 2022 1:21 PM

I still remember the words of wisdom some old guy told me as a child, "never trust a preacher driving a Cadillac and wearing a Rolex."

by Anonymousreply 32August 18, 2022 3:01 PM

Jesus left the building a long, long time ago

by Anonymousreply 33August 18, 2022 3:08 PM

Another gay televangelist with drag queen looking wife...

by Anonymousreply 34August 18, 2022 3:13 PM

"Black church is the gayest place on the face of the planet. It's nothing but women, children and gay dudes. Women praying to find a man, children who have to go with the women, and gay men trying to pray their love of dick out of their hearts."

by Anonymousreply 35August 18, 2022 3:16 PM

I shoooo' is black!

by Anonymousreply 36August 18, 2022 8:18 PM

I don't wanna minister to no broke-ass mother-fuckers.

by Anonymousreply 37August 18, 2022 9:04 PM

They have 6 Movados at Ross in Indio CA. They are ugly and all have the red clearance tag. $19.99. If he wasn’t so hateful, I’d buy and send all of them to him since he’s so sad & broken up about it.

But I won’t. He’s a pig.

by Anonymousreply 38August 18, 2022 9:08 PM

Do they have a TV show on TBN like DL icons Paul and Jan Crouch? Like seriously why do so many televangelist wives look like they're competing on Drag Race?

by Anonymousreply 39August 18, 2022 9:12 PM

Post your favorite Televangelist clips!

Here's one of mine. I love her...I just love her! 😂

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by Anonymousreply 40August 18, 2022 9:31 PM

Paul and Jan were a guilty pleasure of mine. Sitting on thrones, swagged out with tacky clothes and jewelry. They went ballistic when a serious theologian excoriated them for their phony Christianity. Good times.

by Anonymousreply 41August 18, 2022 9:35 PM

Kenneth Copleland on slaying Covid.

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by Anonymousreply 42August 18, 2022 9:44 PM

His faucets is Moen.

by Anonymousreply 43August 18, 2022 9:49 PM

What’s wrong with Movado watches?

by Anonymousreply 44August 18, 2022 9:52 PM

Did Movado get bought out?

by Anonymousreply 45August 18, 2022 9:54 PM

Religion is a grift. Always has been.

by Anonymousreply 46August 18, 2022 9:54 PM

R42, very funny, thanks, but who is that nitwit ninny talking to? All the seats look empty.

by Anonymousreply 47August 18, 2022 9:56 PM

^ Empty because of Covid. He's speaking to the flock via cable.

by Anonymousreply 48August 18, 2022 10:01 PM

The cheapest Movado is about 300 bucks on sale. 20 buck Movados are fake.

by Anonymousreply 49August 18, 2022 10:04 PM

R43 - I laughed at your "King of All Blacks" reference. (H. Stern fans will understand)

by Anonymousreply 50August 18, 2022 10:05 PM

My favourite grifter was always Robert Tilton, who was great to watch in the middle of the night while stoned.

He spoke in tongues sometimes, and once ranted about wanting a new Cadillac. He seemed to catch himself, and then said, “You can walk with the lord! Well you can drive with him, too - all the way to Cadillac town!”

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by Anonymousreply 51August 18, 2022 11:01 PM

[quote] Like seriously why do so many televangelist wives look like they're competing on Drag Race?

Because they want to be Tammy Faye, without an ounce of her compassion or sincerity.

by Anonymousreply 52August 19, 2022 12:41 AM

[quote I always wondered why a congregation would want to watch a minister strut before them in a thousand dollar suit

The Catholic Church says the priest should array themselves in rich robes and the holy altar and goblets should be gold.

by Anonymousreply 53August 19, 2022 12:50 AM

[quote] Pastor Sylvarena Funderburke

That name is deserving of parody. I can't help but see 'Pastor Sylvarena Thunderbunk'.

by Anonymousreply 54August 19, 2022 12:51 AM

Pastor Fuck For A Buck is more like it.

by Anonymousreply 55August 19, 2022 12:54 AM

Sylvarena Thunderbunk is the African Queen.

by Anonymousreply 56August 19, 2022 12:56 AM

[quote] Queen

She is entitled as 'Lady Sylvarena' here.

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by Anonymousreply 57August 19, 2022 1:04 AM

R51 This clown would be on in the middle of the night in the 80’s. I can’t remember the channel but I’d turn him on when I had insomnia. I was a young teen and couldn’t believe anyone would send this fool money. I watched for laughs and sheer amazement.

by Anonymousreply 58August 19, 2022 1:12 AM

What kind of church requires congregants to buy gifts for the pastor?

by Anonymousreply 59August 19, 2022 1:15 AM

R59 Churches that need a Jesus and the moneychangers type intervention.

by Anonymousreply 60August 19, 2022 1:17 AM

My elderly father always used to tell me to stay away from any churches that had “of God” in their names.

Good advice, even though Mother and I were Episcopalian, 1928 BCP thank you!

by Anonymousreply 61August 19, 2022 1:17 AM

A lot of former pimps became preachers because they realized they could make especially when many black Baptist and Pentecostal churches went Evangelical and non-denominational in the 1980s. The War on Drugs and crack epidemic which destroyed a lot of the Black community led to the prosperity gospel becoming stronger and more appealing. Traditionally the Black church served as a safe space and a hub for education, financial literacy and social activism. Once Evangelical prosperity gospel took hold and these pimp crooks popped up their own Baptist, COGIC and non-denominational churches. The Black church lost it's social relevancy and many began espousing stronger conservative and Republican ideals. The African Methodist Episcopal Church, United Church of Christ and Progressive National Baptist Convention kept their dignity and devotion to black social activism thankfully.

by Anonymousreply 62August 19, 2022 1:19 AM

*make money

by Anonymousreply 63August 19, 2022 1:22 AM

R62 the United Church of Christ isn't a historically black denomination. They are the church descended from the Puritans. Though there are many historically black congregations within the church.

by Anonymousreply 64August 19, 2022 1:24 AM

R64 My mistake.

by Anonymousreply 65August 19, 2022 1:29 AM

A Movado?! Damn, if you're gonna scam your flock out of money to buy a fancy watch, aim a little higher than a fucking Movado!

by Anonymousreply 66August 19, 2022 1:47 AM

Reverend X!!!

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by Anonymousreply 67August 19, 2022 1:50 AM

R62 Also I wouldn't say that prosperity gospel is typical of evangelicals but the charismatics who are related to evangelicals but different. I grew up evangelical and I heard many a sermon against prosperity gospel in the late 80s-90s.

by Anonymousreply 68August 19, 2022 1:57 AM

This thread is appallingly racist and I'm demanding that Muriel removes it.

by Anonymousreply 69August 19, 2022 2:02 AM

R18, Aww look, it’s Precious and she's turned to religion...bless her!

by Anonymousreply 70August 19, 2022 12:58 PM

Have no fear as Dorit just started her newest charity :

“Poor, broke, busted, and disgusted but NOT Homeless or Toothless”...donations will be used to buy Pastor a new Movado.

by Anonymousreply 71August 20, 2022 4:06 PM

Fucks like Tilton prey on lonely seniors who think people like him care about them. Jesus should strike them dead.

by Anonymousreply 72August 21, 2022 12:08 AM

Movado viral marketing

by Anonymousreply 73August 21, 2022 12:11 AM
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