Weird things you did as a child

I absolutely loved the smell of gasoline when my parents would stop to pump some in the car.

I love you, OP. I hope you have kept that mischievous side of you.

I was brought up extremely religious and left tracts in the dentist's office a few times. I'm sure they were annoyed with me.

I hated the doctor and had to go all the time due to being sickly and other issues and had to go every 2 weeks for a few years. I hated it and bit the thermometers and played with the mercury.

I was VERY influenced by the 'Hide the Nexxus' shampoo ads. Drove my aunt nuts. (She was the only one I knew who used it, if anyone else cared as much about their shampoo I'd have been a total nuisance) .

My brother and I use to sabotage each other's food. We would do things like strain hot chocolate through a pair of our mothers dirty pantyhose, collect our grandmother's hair from brushes and grins it up in milkshakes, and even collect our grandfather's toenail clippings and sneak them into hamburgers. The disgusting list was endless and after the victim had eaten a sufficient amount of the food, we would devilishly ask, "how's that milkshake?" followed by..."because I.........

r5 how gross. My brother and I had no great love for each other, but would never do things like to each other. You must have hated one another.

R5 it's disgusting but we didn't hate each other, we thought it was funny. We were forever torturing each other in the name of humor.

When I was about 5 or 6 I went through a period where I'd dump water on top of a lightbulb that was turned on and then giggle maniacally as it exploded. Good times :)

This is like the gayest thing ever, so fair warning.

Like many kids, I was into Disney movies. So over time I made my mom buy different color towels because I liked the put them over my head and pretend I was a Disney princess. I had a red one for Ariel, a Black one for Jasmine/Pocahontas/Mulan, a brown one for Belle, a yellow one for Cinderella. And I’d use the TV remote as my microphone and belt out their songs when I was alone.

I was friends with a delinquent in training when I was about 6 or 7 and some of the things we did horrify me to this day. He'd take my family's axe and cut people's garden hoses or take mail out of people's mailboxes and rip it up. It always made me really uncomfortable, but I thought that, if I said something, he'd probably beat me up or something. He turned out to be a Trumper. Big surprise there.

R9 same here! Not necessarily Disney princesses but I wanted long hair like a girl. (No I have zero trans desires these days… I was just young and obsessed w the Marcia Bradys etc on TV)

But you have me beat r9 cuz I must have been low rent trailer trashed compared to you. I just took a dish towel from the kitchen, a rubber band around my head and chin to secure it, and would flounce it all around, just feeling my fabulousness.

Because I had to walk to and from school, there were ample opportunities to find and save stuff I found on sidewalks and in trash. Dentures? Found a pair, brought them home, boiled them and kept them in a box. Stuffed animals in peoples trash? Brush them off, bring them home. A box of wedding invitations came home one time, too. My parents thought I was weird. Rightfully so, too.

As a very small kid, at the dinner table I would close one eye and hold my fork up in front of the other eye and give someone I was mad at a good stare. My version of the evil eye.

R13 is at the video linked below.

I love OP

Sucked the ball players feet after their adult baseball game

When I was five or six, I wrote a fan letter (with the help of my mom) to Julie Andrews. This was in the Olden Days, and we had to go to the library to look up her mailing address. She sent back an autographed photograph and a generic note.

I still remember the day the reply arrived. I literally jumped for joy in the driveway.

I didn't care much for toys, other than stuffed animals. Instead, I liked playing with old soap and cereal boxes, containers, cans, etc. I would pretend I owned a grocery store.

I wasn't allowed to have dolls of any kind, so i began to covet books and reading. Not a bad thing, but it was weird that my mother thought dolls and caring for things were a bad thing.

But she grew up in a boarding school for most of her life. She and her mother (my Grandmother) were NOT close and she didn't like her. And she was not a caring, nurturing type. She could give a shit if you came in with a cut on your body. Her thought process was to take care of it ourself. Thus why we made our own breakfasts from 9 years old and beyond.

I don't believe OP's story. That is something a snarky teen might do, not a child.

When friends would sleep over, we'd play "String in the Street."

We'd tie a strong piece of string tightly to a tree, then stretch it across the road and wind the other end around another tree. Then we'd hide in my dad's camper to watch the action.

It didn't hurt the cars but it did give the drivers a jolt when they'd hit it. Bonus if they had a radio antenna that would go SPPPPROINNNNG!.

A couple of drivers got REALLY mad and pulled over to search in the bushes for us. We never were caught.

I don't remember laughing so hard in my life.

I used to mix my "uncles'" drinks extra strong.

R18, that is so cute. Did you have stories for different customers? Supermarket sweep?

R21 incredibly stupid and dangerous prank.

I used to eat the ends of my hair, like people chew their finger nails. I had a perfect shake cut for about 6 years.

A friend & I brought canned cat food as a dip to a school party.

I was obsessed with the Irish Spring soap commercial, where the guy cuts the bar of soap. Some how I was able to convince my mother to buy me a bar of it. I guess anything to get a kid in the bath when they are young, was her thinking. I never did wash with the soap, but I would use my mother's old fashioned metal nail file to cut a piece off, and tell my pretend audience why it was so special. Then I'd put it back in the box for the next time I wanted to pretend I was the Irish guy cutting soap.

I'm fairly normal compared to this. I collected free gas station maps and compared the various differences. I remember being very excited when I got my first Exxon map of New York, updated from Esso, the previous name.

OP is light years BEYOND a "Mary"

I hated it when people would touch my toys and stuff. Whenever I would see someone touch one of my toys, I would immediately run over and smell it, to make sure they didn't leave any personal odors on it.

R30 = abnormal

Presented hole to older neighborhood boys.

During fourth grade, I got the idea to take a small bottle of red food coloring to school. I put a few of drops in the toilet. Two minutes later a teacher, a custodian, and the principal swarmed the boys restroom. It created quite a scene.

I don't remember how old I was, but one day I was in the far corner of our back yard with a magnifying glass. I was trying to set fire to some dried leaves and twigs. It spiraled out of control and before I knew it, the whole corner of the yard was on fire. Luckily the neighbor lady was watering her garden and saw the smoke. She used her hose to put out the fire, but it left a blackened area about 5x10 yards. When my dad got home, the neighbor ratted me out and he was pissed off at me for weeks.

r33 is an AW or a serial killer. They're probably the same in the end, they grew up with very little positive attention. I'm sorry!

An AW?

Blew my cousin (same age, so don't freak out). I also used to snack on dry dog food.

I used to put tampons in the water when I was taking a bath and pretend they were lotus blossoms floating on the water. I loved the way they expanded when they got wet.

As a teen, I used to suck my dad’s toes while was asleep on the couch.

I went through this phase were I asked all my teachers for their autographs. Everybody else thought it was really cute.

I was eight or nine at the time.

R36 - I’d occasionally eat a small Milk Bones dog biscuit - I guess because it was hard (and weird).

My favorite thing to eat as a kid was a heel chunk of very stale Italian bread. My mom would save them for her meatballs, but was ok with me snagging some - the rule was I had to eat them out on the stoop because it made so many crumbs, which was part of the fun. I really enjoyed gnawing on the super hard texture. I also enjoyed going into the station wagon and just sitting in it for awhile after it had been baking in the sun all day. I liked how hot and stale the air inside was, and the smell of the overheated vinyl.

[quote]I used to put tampons in the water when I was taking a bath and pretend they were lotus blossoms floating on the water. I loved the way they expanded when they got wet.

This could also go in a pencil-dialing thread.

There was a girl in middle school who bullied me mercilessly. I decided to beat her at her own game. I would sneak into the girls’ restroom after school hours and write things like “[Sarah] lets the whole football team finger her pussy” and [Sarah] sucked off the whole football team” and [Sarah] stole all the football players’ jocks so she can sniff them at night.

After a couple of weeks of that, I stole a bunch of jock straps and stuffed them in her locker so that they fell out when she opened it in front of everyone. She was humiliated. She kept insisting someone had planted them, but no one believed her. She transferred to another school shortly thereafter.

R42 Oh mary you think you “humiliated” your bully by writing those things but you really made her even more popular..

r36 and r40 i remember eating Purina Cat Chow because we had cats and no other food we could figure out at our age when my mom decided to dip out for a week or so at a time to participate in a commune in Hawaii. I was maybe 3 and it was in the 70s. She'd leave us for days at a time while she got her commune on.

I can still taste the flavor of Purina Cat Chow. we also had a babysitter or two who would tell us she was ingesting "nose candy" while my mom was doing other things. Babysitter and Cat Chow were rarely concurrent events.

R30, That gave me a flashback to when I was around 5 years old. I was playing "grocery store" in my bedroom. You're guess is as good as mine as to why. Anyway, a neighbor boy broke open a box of pudding, and I lost my shit. Full on fit of devastation. My family wasn't rich, but we could well afford a new box of pudding. I have no idea why I had such an extreme reaction. I don't remember that child ever coming over again, and can't say I blame him.

I have more stories.

R45: let’s hear ‘em!

I used to slide out of the trailer window at night and go pet all the dogs in the park that were kept outside at night. I would help myself to tomatoes from their gardens when I did that.

Once I had a dog that died a natural death.

R1- I LOVED the smell of that wood paste that came in those small cans that you needed a screwdriver to take of the metal cover.

I used to tear paper. You could tell everywhere I had been because there would be a little pile of paper torn into tiny little strips, all perfectly the same width.

I rubbed Elmers glue on my hands, waited for it dry, and then peeled it off.

In second grade, there was a box filled with vertical construction paper. Instead of lying flat in the box, with the smooth surface exposed at the top, the pages were stood up on their long edges and tightly packed together. Looking inside the box, the edges of the papers were exposed and they were at slightly different heights (by about a millimeter). I would run my fingertip across the surface, getting a paper cut, and bleeding on the paper. I did this several times; I was mesmerized.

[quote]Blew my cousin (same age, so don't freak out). I also used to snack on dry dog food.

Which one tasted better?

Wow, OP -- you were basically a Datalounger right out of the womb! Brava!

I knew a woman in the 90s who would go to gay bars and walk up to performing drag queens and give them coupons for $1 off cat food and things like that instead of cash. 90% of them laughed. 10% stopped the show and threw a bitch fit.

I thought it was hysterical to watch but was always too afraid to do it myself.

When I was maybe 10 or 11, I became obsessed with cleaning my ears. I've never had soft wax, it's always been hard and crusty. Anyway, I had a special piece of black material that I would wipe my best finds on. I'd fold the material over and tuck it away to look at later.

I also had a Burn Book before I even knew what a Burn Book was. It was just a lined journal that I would rant about my family and peers in, and wish them dead.

I used crazy glue, construction paper, and unsalted saltines, to build mini houses.

I’d spend hours designing them and then cut the paper accordingly and build mini model homes.

I tried it with wheat thins, but it didn’t work as well as the saltines did.

My brother and I would pull our balls over our little cocks and call it a TURKEY.

I built little amusement park rides from Tinker toys and Hot Wheels tracks. Some were just spinning rides where no track was needed though.

Being a child was awesome, yes?

Those moments when one was wildly creative were so special.

It’s good to remember those moments, because we were at our best in those moments, without any self judgement or fear.

"My brother and I would pull our balls over our little cocks and call it a TURKEY."

Did you ever do this at the Thanksgiving dinner table with all the relatives around?

"Hey, grandma, watch this!"

I used to break the arms and legs off of barbies and put them in my butt!

[1] I was fascinated by control panels. If it had switches, lights and dials I was in heaven. I used to find empty boxes and draw dials, switches, etc on them.

[2] I started getting really intense erections around age 6. One afternoon in my bedroom, I laid on the floor next to my desk chair. With pants lowered to my knees, I pulled the chair toward me, lifted one leg of it, and placed it on my public bone. I laid there, arms at my sides. I had no idea what sex was or why my dick was so hard, but I remember being totally thrilled by the sensations.

If I was really into a book I was reading I'd tear a corner off the page and chew it.

When I was very little I used to crawl into the corner behind the old upright TV set and wallow in the disgusting cobwebs, scent of ozone and crunch of dead flies beneath my feet while I gazed with intense hatred at the Modigliani fruit bowl print on the opposite wall.

I used to put my tong against the connectors of those square 9-volt batteries. Loved the little shocks, the slightly acidic taste.

Weirdo from day one.

I kind of get that Dutchie. You made me remember that I used to like the taste of keys. Whenever possible, I'd grab Mum's keyring and just taste each one. Until I became conscious of how incredibly germy that was.

I used to squeeze the baby powder container in front of a fan and pretend I was appearing in a puff of smoke to lord over my subjects.

England. Age 9. 1972.

I don't know if this is weird. But it's very very bad. It's terrible, in fact. It makes me feel horrible to remember it.

I used to love a candy called Toffee Treets (no longer made). I read that if the candy is in anyway damaged to return it to the makers. I crushed a few of them and wrote a pathetic letter in childish scrawl about how I only get 3p a month pocket money and I always spend it on toffee treets and how upset I was that some of them were crushed.

Sometime a later I received a parcel in the mail, full of packets of all the varieties.

I was a very BAD gayling. PLEASE don't judge me!

[quote]I used to put my tong against the connectors of those square 9-volt batteries. Loved the little shocks, the slightly acidic taste.

I used to do that too.

I also used to nibble on clay (during the art lessons) and Grip Fix - which was a glue that came in little tubs and smelled like marzipan.

Which reminds me. Some friends of my parents brought their little girl to our house. There was some of that goopy stuff you see on trees that looks like jelly. She was attracted to it. So I told her to eat it. Which she did. I was sure I'd get in trouble when she got back home and dropped dead.

I went through a Spencer Gifts practical joke phase when I was 11. I bought a battery operated device you stuck to the underside of the toilet - a thin cleat tube ran to a squeeze bulb that went under the seat. When someone sat on the throne the puff of air activated a recording to play, loudly -“Hey! You’re blocking all the light!” and fart noises. I set it up right before I went to bed. My dad visited the bathroom in middle of the night and was so startled he fell off the toilet.

But he thought it was funny. Thanks dad, we didn’t often agree, but we both had a sense of humor.

I used to do this thing. I'd have a friend over and get them to call one of our mutual friends and get them to ask what they thought of me. I'd listen in on the extension. It used to really make me laugh. Finally I got caught out when I tried it out on someone I'd previously used for this fiasco.

I took the foil wrappers from Wrigleys Gum and formed it into a plug and blow out the outlets in my school.

Growing up, there was a segment on the evening news called “Wednesday’s Child.” Every week, a child with special needs was highlighted to bring awareness and solicit help from the community. My brother and I would reenact the show every week. He would play the reporter and I would play the child with a severe mental disability. We thought this was hysterical. We’re both doctors now.

R44, I hope life got better for you.

[quote]I used to slide out of the trailer window at night and go pet all the dogs in the park that were kept outside at night. I would help myself to tomatoes from their gardens when I did that.

The dogs grew tomatoes?

I made tiny s’mores by toasting miniature marshmallows over a candle with a toothpick, then sandwiching them between two Golden Grahams with a chocolate chip.

I'd speed through the text books as soon as I got them and churn out the most likely homework, so breeze through the rest of the year.

It was easy to freak friends out with methodically playing horror themes over and over at various speeds.

When it got exceptionally foggy, I had friends that wanted to do naked runs.

I used to ride my bicycle down the handrails of stairs and various other idiotic stunts... I wouldn't even dream of today. Same with diving off of various things or exploring the old (underwater) freeway.

r74 one would infer their neighbors.

I removed the Xmas lights from my neighbors bushes

I’m going door-to-door witnessing over the weekend for shits n grins. Really.

When was 7 I was obsessed with waterbeds for some reason and begged for one. Now I wonder how often my parents had sex on it.

r74, well, it's not like they were doing anything else outside at night, may as well garden

Whenever I’d get bored I’d shove my fingers inside my asshole then pull them out and smell em.

I made punch for a school event using water from the school toilet

[quote]I used to put my tong

Oh, dear.

With the old timey light switches on the wall, I would try and get them half way between on and off, where it would burn and sizzle. I'm lucky I didn't start an electrical fire.

I also flushed an apple core down the terlet once, which blocked it up. After finally fessing up under my parent's interrogation, my dad (who was in construction) unbolted the toilet and made me reach inside the bottom and pull out the apple core. I deserved that punishment!

I’m told that just before the start of the first grade Christmas pageant, I went up to a group of kids and said “look here honey, it just so happens that I am Miss Jaime Sommers. I have some very important work to do here tonight so if you’ll please excuse me”. Then I made my way onto the stage to recite my lines.

I used to tie up and gag my GI Joes...

Gee! I wonder what kinks I developed as an adult???

I LOVED melting crayons on burning light bulbs. The first rush of melt-y color was wonderful, but it soon turned into a stinking mess. Also, a cousin had a Jack-in-Box we used to jack with: every time that stupid thing popped up, we smashed bananas into his face. I wonder what ever happened to that j-in-the-b¿

I altered my mother's dishes behind her back. I would add ingredients to her cooked dishes such as spices, salt, sugar, etc. Idk why. 🤷‍♀️.

I flushed my mom’s diamonds down the toilet

Anal play with my mother's Ban Roll-On dispenser.

Perfect shape and size for the job.

Poor Mother.

r86, me too. We had this over the cabinet rack with hooks over the washing machine where my mom and sister would hang bras and stockings to dry. I used to hang GI Joes from them over the opened washing machine, pretending it was a pit of quicksand or a volcano. I also used to use scraps of fabric to bound and gag GI Joes in a variety of scenarios. I did grow up to have a light bondage fetish but I blame that on Batman (the tv show). My GI Joes also used tampon applicators I'd find in the garbage as harpoons and bazookas. I had no idea what they were until I had long outgrown GI Joe and no one in my family ever said anything to me but just let me use them to pretend to blow shit up.

R91, some of the scenarios I imagined for my bound and gagged GI Joes were inspired by the Batman series or similar perils I saw on tv. My Mom had a large size coffee maker for parties. I used to pretend it was a chamber which would slowly fill and threaten GI Joe. Like you, I used scraps of fabric to truss him up.

I used to imagine the wicked things I'd do to the little people from Land Of The Giants.

r72 - My cousin and I used to play "Orphanage" in our grandmother's bedroom. We imagined ourselves as orphaned siblings locked in a cage (Grandma's bed). My cousin had to double as the wicked orphanage owner.

I used to like going through the neighborhood on the other side of the tracks... I thought it looked so neat and uniform and everyone was outside. Outside talking, people on stoops, laundry hanging, people hanging out near their cars. I liked how the lawns were so close to the houses. Their lives seemed more interesting than mine.

I didn't know they were a bad area or what they were really. Housing projects.

I meant *pubic* bone...

R5 is Amy Sedaris

[quote]I hated it when people would touch my toys and stuff. Whenever I would see someone touch one of my toys, I would immediately run over and smell it, to make sure they didn't leave any personal odors on it.

When did you finally receive your autism diagnosis, r30?

LOL R98

I loved packaging. I would save the paper wrappers on Twining’s tea bags and pretend they were little envelopes. Loved the little boxes that raisins came in and animal crackers too - even tho I wouldn’t actually eat either of those…

i used to jump into a dumpster at the electric company to collect stamps off the monthly bill envelopes in the mid 80's. once there was refuse from a work 'blood drive" (smack dab in the middle of the aids scare but this was small town canada) i took one of the used syringes home and cleaned it. i had a vicious loathsome foster mother and i used to fill the syringe with bleach and inject it into her cactus plants. i enjoyed her prolonged confusion at them withering and dying.

R101- Oh, Rhoda! 🙀

So far r27's Irish Spring soap story is my favorite.

Oh, I did some stuff... 🙄

When I was six, I regularly pissed in the waste basket in the bathroom. The toilet was right behind me. Why? 😂

I ate my mother’s bath salt. I liked the taste.

My Cher imitation on the deck of outer pool with a towel.

My mother had a beautiful Chanel scarf that I used to put on my head and pretend it was my hair

Oh lord, I used to sit in my grandparent's bedroom and watch Sonny and Cher and/or Hee-Haw while eating Oscar Myer Weiners with ketchup.

I would pretend I was Jim Lange from The Dating Game and do that thing at the end of the show where they blow a kiss.

I used to put a towel on my head secured with a large round brass lamp finial and pretend I was Lawrence of Arabia

I just wasn't that weird 🙄

We would hide between cars and throw a life-size child doll out at passing cars. I realize now how TERRIBLE that was!

Taste Ajax

Taped my foreskin back so the other boys in gym class wouldn't tease me.

I was a product of the Catholic School System, and converted the top of my dresser into an altar. I had statues, holy water, a white embroidered dresser scarf that my Mom made, plastic flowers, a prayer book and rosary from my First Communion, and a silver goblet that I swiped from my sister's little Hostess Buffet that served as my chalice.

At my cousin’s house, safe from the scrutiny of my conservative parents, she would play the Music Box Doll song from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and we’d lip-sync and act out the parts over and over, she in her ballet tutu and I in all black with a black knit hat because I thought CCBB and Mary Poppins were actually the same movie (which is why I dressed like Bert the chimney sweep instead of Dick Van Dyke in the rag-doll disguise that he wore in CCBB.)

Over a year of school holidays, my siblings and I and the cousin who babysat us acted out Grease, A League of Their Own, Backdraft, Ghostbusters, The Bodyguard and Camp Cucamonga. We were at the whim of whatever Mum had taped on VCR or hired from the local video shop.

[quote] Taped my foreskin back so the other boys in gym class wouldn't tease me.

I kept my foreskin pulled back once just to see what it felt like.

It was irritating at first, then unbearably itchy. My cockhead started shriveling and drying out. It developed wrinkles and patterns like a parched lakebed. I've never seen my dick look so unhappy.

It was agony. Just after an hour or so.

I don't know how you cut guys can stand it. Your dick heads must be totally desensitised.

Alright, here's really weird thing.I used to dd.

I used to to travel through my body, and my "master" was the bus driver and he sat in my big toe.

I used to have a troll like creature that would come and tell me things. I'm not making this up. My mother told me it would freak her out because I would know things I shouldn't have known. Take that for whatever you want. I know I'm a freak She opened up one time, and tole me I would ask her questions or say things that had never been said.

And as at least one has said above, I like bondage and danger. No idea why. .

@r118, No, plus we have that little thingy of skin underneath that is very sensitive and makes some of us cum quite quickly

@r119, You took the good drugs tonight 🤪

R120 cut or uncut, we all have that frenulum as i believe it's called. That must be just as desensitised as well.

I'm R119, and it's completely true.

^ Well, tell the bus driver on your toe I said, hey 🤪

[quote]R72: Growing up, there was a segment on the evening news called “Wednesday’s Child.”

Isn't that the one that used Vangelis' '3+3' as its opening music?

I will, my bus drivers are really happy. you're welcome aboard! just behave yourself

^ Sorry, not into toes 😂

Dogs were kept in a park?

trailer park

[quote]Weird things you did as a child

Oh, just about everything.

I used to find feathers (sometimes single ones, sometimes ones that were lying around a dead bird) and stick the shaft of the feather in between my teeth and (if there was any) suck the blood out.

What a bunch of fucking weirdos. And I actually listen to your opinions??

I would panic every time we went to a gas station. I thought the gas went into the tires and if they weren’t careful filling up the car, the tires would explode.

I also sat in my closet and rocked myself for hours .... my neurosis started very early

I was obsessed with my dad’s penis. I would always try to peek through the cracks in the bathroom door or make excuses for why I had to be in his bedroom when he came out of the shower. Once I had the bright idea to hide in a trunk in the closet when he came out of the shower to grab a pair of pants.

It worked and I finally got to see that dick up close in all its dangling, veiny glory.

I knew a kid whose dad diddled him and it was a big scandal in town. And I just thought…I’d give anything for my dad to do that to me. One day I decided to get naked and get in his bed and wait for him to come home. I practiced sticking my ass out seductively.

Well…I ended up falling asleep and when he walked in he saw me…and burst out laughing. I woke up to peals of laughter and ran to my room on the verge of tears. I was so humiliated.

I must have been about 6. After lunch I would be put to bed for a rest (or something). I THINK this is what people do with babies and the very young. But by 6 I was too old for this bullshit and I think I resented it. But my mother liked me out of the way "Go to your nursery!" And a lot of switching into French when I walked into the room when she was on the phone. She was a real gem my mother.

So there I'd be in bed in the middle of the afternoon. Sun pouring in around the curtains. Around easter time I'd have my easter egg in bed with me and I'd play POOR. I was Papa and my poor family were all there with me. The imaginary children would beg me for some Eater egg. But we were so poor we had to make it last so I'd hand out tiny weeny bits of easter egg, which of course I ate and tasted so good because we were SO POOR.

Maybe I had Charlie & The Chocolate Factory syndrome. I can't be sure.

R134 have you ever tried therapy?

I want to let you all know that being a relatively normal, well adjusted kid isn't as bad as I might have thought it was yesterday

No, I’ve never done therapy. Why?

Because you’re really really fucked up in the head

I saw dead people.

Picked my nose and ate it.. no wait… that was yesterday.

I ate bird seeds.

I thought flowers were edible, so I would go around the backyard and use it as my personal salad bar!

Boy you were a dumb ass!

I used to take a piece of paper and write HELP IVE BEEN KIDNAPPED on it and hold it up in the window of my bedroom. Sometimes I would act out banging on the glass and screaming. I think I was hoping someone would would see me and come knock on parents door and take them to jail. I have no idea why I did it, but I did it a lot up until about 5th grade. No one ever came to rescue me.

[quote]I thought flowers were edible, so I would go around the backyard and use it as my personal salad bar!

Remember -- it's ONCE Around the Garden!

#44 = Tatum O'Neal

I used to eat milk bones and boogers behind my grandmothers couch. Also was a biter.

When I ate potato chips, I'd sometimes spit the chewed up chip onto another chip and eat it. Think of it as kind of a dip. Fucking weird, I know.

I also used to make up my own little TV shows in my head. The one I remember the most was called Evil Tom . The title character wore a top hat and cape. Lol. In another one, there was a maid who looked like a fat baby.

R1 I still enjoy doing that.

I used to shit on the floor in public toilets and sometimes at school. Never did it at home of course.

Thankfully, I didn't end up with a scat fetish in adulthood.

I remember taking a dump at my Nan's house and realised after backing it out that there was no toilet paper. Everyone was outside so for some reason, I decided to wipe with crocheted squares she'd been saving to make a blanket. I didn't flush them, just put them back in her knitting pile. I went outside and kept playing. When we all went inside later, the stench was shocking. My act was discovered and my parents dragged me to the car and drove us home as they swore and raged at me. I must have been 7 or 8 years old.

r152, LOL, what a shitty thing to do.

That's nothing R152. I was in love with the boy next door (MARY!), but couldn't stand his uptight religious-whack-job mother. So one day while they were on vacation (and they asked me to watch the house, take in their mail) I took a shit in her bed. Yes, an incredibly stoopid thing to do, as WHO ELSE would've done it except the kid with the keys to their house? But revenge overwhelmed any common sense, and the ol' bitch died within a year or two anyway.

Waaaay back in the day when 'retarded' was an innocent word (the 1960's-70's), a friend and I used to roll around in the ditch -- like we were having a spaz attack -- just as cars would drive by.

I used to position myself in the bathtub in a doggie style bottom position poking my hole up to the water rushing out of the tap.

Didn't know what it meant at the time of course. Now I do.

I recall seeing voodoo symbols and upside down pentagrams on tv shows/movies, and I thought satanism type of stuff was cool. I used to carve the symbols on windowsill ledges, plastic toys etc to freak out my religious conservative mother.

I was a devout Catholic boy who wanted to be a priest from age three, since at the earliest ages I knew I didn't want to have any life like what I saw around me. Marriage. Children.

At five I held Ash Wednesday services by licking dominoes and rubbing them on kids' foreheads. My mother was nonplussed.

By third grade I knew and would say the Latin Mass and would insist that my siblings and cousins attend at a homemade altar I set up. Altar flowers from the garden, a chalice from a brass goblet, a ciborium from a footed silver sugar bowl. Communion was flattened white bread cut into rounds. And so on. I also insisted on hearing Confessions before anyone received the Eucharist.

"Star Trek" and the "Man from Uncle" eased my progression into a more normal childhood (I didn't have to marry a woman if I were a spaceman or secret agent.) And discovering masturbation at 11 and learning reason was better than religion finished the phase.

According to mother, I also wheeled worms around in a doll carriage

When I was little (like 5 or 6), I used to stick paper napkins in my mouth and bite down on them. For some reason I was craving the sensation of chewing on them. It was very very odd.

My Mum wouldn't buy us gum, so I used to chew balls of dental floss.

R134 are you and R156 brothers?!

P.s. I am still getting a kick out of your post about falling asleep naked waiting for your dad. It's so childishly depraved yet innocent. I hope you've at least got to act out a daddy fantasy or two over the years with a strapping hunk.

As a kid, I'd put all five or six pieces of a pack of Bubble Yum into my mouth, chew the wad into one giant piece, and then freeze it in the freezer. After a few hours, I'd retrieve it to chew again and it was the best thing frozen. Raspberry was my favorite. I also microwaved my Snickers bars on a plate and eat the with a fork - melted, they tasted that much better.

After a rain, I'd go around picking up earthworms and throw them back in the dirt or grass. Sometimes I would use a small pail, and bring them back to our garden.

r164, I still do that as an adult. I don't search them out but I will move them (and snails etc) when I see them. You were a good kid!

Cheers rescue chick... you sound alright yourself! My dad thought I was an oddball. He'd offer me a pair of gardeners gloves, and always made sure I washed my hands when I'd return. He would have never made it as a fisherman.

I took the trash out one hit summer day last year and saw a dried out, crispy looking earth worm laying on the cement where I keep my trash cans - about two feet away from dry soil. "Awe. Poor dude" I thought, and went back into the house. I needed to take something else out to the trash can about 1.5 hours later, and when I got to the can I saw that the worm had moved. I poked at him with a stick, and he moved! I ran into the house and got a glass of water, and I doused him with it. Instant life! He went from crispy to hydrated in a flash. I ran and got a pitcher of water, pouring it onto the dry earth. I picked the worm up with the stick, and brought it to the saturated dirt. I didn't get a chance to lay him down - as soon as the one end of him felt the wet earth, he flew into the ground leaving the stick sort of shaking between my thumb and forefinger like a spring doir stop!

The year before that, again in the heat of summer, I heard a constant scratching noise in one if my gutter down spouts. I climbed up with a flashlight to see the cause of the commotion was a stuck sparrow who was surely going to die. I disconnected the down spout, and flung it toward the yard. Out popped Ms Sparrow into the yard - our eyes met, and she was stunned to see light again so suddenly. She flew away life intact. Damn it if it didn't happen AGAIN the following week! This time, I just knew to disconnect the down spout to free it - another Sparrow. I then took an empty weed eater line spool and placed it over the water entry of the down spout, and this has never happened since.

Two things: This is all true, but the reason I took the time to even share it us because I only got three hours sleep last night and I'm feeling whacky stupid! 😂

I've talked about myself enough, but I can add that my brother taught himself to sew on my great grandmother's treadle sewing machine from 1930 so he could more easily string honey bees on a very long piece of thread. Then he would run out into the yard and hold the end while the bees flew around in circles like tiny superheroes.

He claims he doesn't remember doing it.

NOW we know he is "on the spectrum."

R162, yes in college I met an older man who loved acting out my fantasy with me. Once we went on vacation out of state together and pretended we were father and son the whole time. Admittedly, at age 39 I still want my dad’s dick. I’d do anything to suck it.

You should write a Nifty story, R169.

These posts literally made me nauseated.

I like you, R134!

R155 I did that when I was 17 at the drive thru at Hardees