Retirement surprises?

I've not experienced but I have observed retirement is hard for someone who's always worked. You have to have a strong social network because the sudden loss of "purpose" will hit you like a ton of bricks.

Everybody is different, but I think there's a low point people reach about 4-5 months into retirement. When it really sinks in, you might feel unvalued or depressed because like it or not, our careers define us in many ways. Who are you without a career?

You might consider volunteering on a somewhat regular basis. There are many opportunities and I find that helping gives me a sense of worth. I struggle with structure so it also helps there. Hopefully, you have some retired friends or a partner because that can really assist you during the transition. Good luck and good health!

It’s tough to imagine because things like the gym or travel seem scary now. I will probably volunteer for a nonprofit and do fundraising.

Volunteering is also an excellent way to meet new people and grow your network of retirees and/or people with more open schedules.

My stepfather was depressed when he retired because he didn't plan enough as to what to do with his time afterwards.

But both my parents were fine when they retired because they moved to part-time jobs (not new careers) and/or volunteer work that structured their time.

I retired a year ago and I'm going out of my mind with boredom. I think I need to look for another job before I go nuts.

Before retiring, start adding things to your life that will be able to fill your time, such as volunteering or joining boards.

Mentoring is another outlet. There are some good organizations and if you excelled in your field then you could help somebody out.

It really helps if you can transition to a consultant or part time gig. You don’t have to work a lot but it will give structure to your life. If that’s not possible, look for a volunteer job that requires some commitment. When you’re fully comfortable retired, you can stop the p/t gig and the volunteer work if you choose. Be ready to answer the question what do you do so having some job is nice at the beginning.

Bejesus, you workaholics, your purpose defined by your work.

How is it that people can be (seemingly) responsible in their careers and to end up having not clue with what to do with themselves when there is no boss or executive team to remind them that the Jones-Finnerly report is due next week? Or that HR is circulating a new mandatory diversity webinar (the fourth this year.)

For 30 or 40 years, you had no interests, no regrets that you didn't have time to read as much as you would like? Watch French avant garde films? Plant a medieval knot garden entirely of medicinal plants? See the places you never made time to see? Visit museums and see their contents with care this time? Take a friend to lunch at a new place every couple weeks? Organize a weekend away every month ir two? See if there's anything of interest in those Great Courses Online, or lectures at the University? Repaint your entire house so everything looks fresh and perfect? Take up pet-sitting to make an odd bit of cash and enjoy other people's pets? Take your first drawing course ever? Take a print newspaper subscription and read it front to back, paying special attention to local events? Find some interesting bike routes and rediscover an old habit? Help friends with their projects - packing to move house or refinishing a rear deck? Volunteering with a political campaign, a neighborhood group, a non-profit, tutoring? Take a couple classes in Thai food and then break some cookbooks perfecting a few new favorites?

Or do you need a boss to tell you do these things?

My cat retired a couple of years ago, now she sleeps 22 hours a day instead of 20. I envy her.

Volunteering is a great idea. It helps you structure your time, you meet new people who are interested in something you're interested in, and you may find yourself going back to work part-time. I did -- a second career, but on my terms.

Make sure your support community is strong. Find some young people to hang around. They'll keep you young and energized. Get into service, whether it is in your community or in your house. Helping other people is the very best way to get out of yourself. When you are ready, look around to see where your real loves in life are and pursue them. I started to take flying lessons, because I have always wanted to fly, and my age, while a trial to overcome for a license, has proven a benefit in that I am no longer as impatient as I was when I was young. These are good days ... you've earned the right to slow down and enjoy time, as it becomes shorter every day. Godspeed.

[quote]Find some young people to hang around. They'll keep you young and energized.

Exactly. Settling in with people the same age, social and economic class, career background, and perspective...all you will end up doing is talking about what color pills you take and why are they so big.

And don't forget about TPS reports, R10!

R10) seems like you missed the point. I have tons of interests, travel extensively, and have plenty of old and young friends. I’m looking forward to stepping off the hamster wheel. I’m just wondering if there are any surprises that await me. Is the loss of purpose more overwhelming than I expected?

Humble-brag post.

Retired since the beginning of the year, I’m still appreciating the absence of an alarm clock in my life.

OP, you need to start thinking about a side thing. Something to earn a little extra money but, more importantly, to keep your mind occupied.

I’ve got two side things, one that’s pretty time intensive, the other not. They both generate some money. That’ll be useful in six years when I retire (unless I pop my clogs before that) as a little buffer against COL increases, but it’ll also give me something to devote my time and my mind to. The people I see decline after retirement are the loafers who don’t have anything to do when they retire.

For the income aspect, don’t forget the republicans might get rid of social security (I’m assuming you’re American). So all the income you can get, you old coot.

OK, OP -- you asked for retirement surprises: here are mine.

I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I truly believed that after I retired, all my troubles would be over. Sleep in, mow the grass, go for walks, do volunteer work, travel, dine out. And I know, that sounds silly, thinking that everything would just go along "hunky-dory" after sloughing off that 9-5 coil. But like I said, I guess I just kind of assumed that deep in my brain without realizing it.

But surprise! I have just as many problems now, albeit different problems than I had before, and they're just as disturbing and time-consuming as any I ever had on the job. Most of the problems I had before were due to workload, work relationships, time crunches at work, and not enough free time to get anything done at home.

Now I have plenty of time, but my life is filled with difficult and unanticipated decisions. My mother (who is in the hospital after a bad fall) is in poor health "up home" (my sister is with her), and my father is following closely behind her, but here in Florida. What to do? They're both as stubborn as the day is long, and neither one of them will move to safer accommodations. And their ill health puts me in mind of my own health issues. Should I put more money into my place? Or should I move to a place more conducive to aging safely? Should I get a retirement visa and move to Spain or Portugal? I'm really worried about this next election, and I'd love to live in Europe. And if I stay here, should I get a new car or fix my old clunker? Who knows how long I'll even be able to drive a new car? I can't even drive at night now, and I'm only 64.

The issues are different, but there are just as many of them, OP. So hopefully, even though I'm sure your life is different, I've given you enough of a "heads up" to begin to anticipate what's to come.

[quote] Or do you need a boss to tell you do these things?

What if you were the boss? Some people really enjoy their job. They may believe in the company's mission and love the kind of work they do. If you built your own business, you very likely devoted more than 8 hours a day to work. It's hard to switch that off. And modern work structures make it hard to transition out. One day you're expected to give it all; the next day you wonder what to do after lunch. It would be nice if the employer and benefits provided some form of transition period for those who want to.

Me: My dad started volunteering after playing Solitaire on his computer for a year. I hope I find a better way to transition into retirement. I might get a dog (from a shelter) or travel a lot. Maybe I open a BnB in Palm Springs.

Not working at least at a part-time job is a terrible idea unless one is truly prepared for the responsibility of one's own life.

The surprise I got was that it took a full six months for the stress of just being at work to abate and to feel relaxed. When you're at work you're conscious that the commute is stressful, you've always got too much to do and you are having to deal with difficult people (who in private life you'd avoid), but I didn't understand how chronic it was until I was retired. I slept 9-10 hours a night that first six months, and many of my retired friends did likewise. Those levels of chronic stress must be doing people all kinds of harm.

If you feel the need to go back to work just to keep occupied, for heaven's sake use your free time to find out who you are, and why you can't deal with quiet and relaxation, instead. If you don't have any friends who have already retired, go out and get some.

Is that a realistic approach, get out and find new friends at that age? True new friendships are usually formed in teens to thirties, after that you typically just maintain friendships.

When your key ring goes from 30 keys to 3.

I retired in April 2019. My husband ‘semi retired’ in 2014, and he started with side hustles; background acting and port services with the cruise ship lines (live in NYC). I started with both those when I retired, helping ease into the transition. However that all disappeared in March 2020. During the shutdown, I created ways to keep my day full; lots of walking (no gym open), reading, catching up with friends on ZOOM, way too much TV and streaming services. Since things have reopened, I’ve done a few background acting gigs - they are a pain with all the mandatory testing. But for the most part I’ve kept my same shutdown routines. Once gyms reopened working out resumed and fills 1- 2 hours/day. I also volunteer at an animal shelter. I follow my dad’s lead, who made a career out of being retired, by creating a daily routine. On the other hand, my mother basically retired and did nothing, which is not healthy. Good luck with it OP.

How old are you, OP? Makes a difference. I was 72 when I retired (coincidentally) right before the shutdown and was delighted to have no responsibility after 50+ years of hard work. I read a lot, adopted a dog (great for structuring your day, meeting new people, getting your ass out of the house) and am pretty happy as long as the money holds out. I do have to deal with the concept of identity. Going from answering the question 'what do you do" with "I edited a design publication" to "I'm retired" was/is for me something of a comedown. Eyes glaze over with the second response. But do try to enjoy the fruits of your long working life as well-deserved.

For gods sake throw out your TV. In most cases retiree televisions automatically begin airing Fox News 24/7. Don’t let it happen to you.

It's quite easy, R24, because so many people in your age group have their days free.

I would argue that you stop making friends in your early thirties because after that the demands of job, relationship and/or family become pressing, you have colleagues you get on well with and you don't have time or need for friends. When they're retired, unless they get sucked into the Grandparent-As-Parent trap or are caring for a sick parent, most people don't have pressing demands and are on the lookout for new people and new experiences again. The whole principle behind over-55s villages is to allow older people and couples who would otherwise be on their own, to become part of a lively new community.

Be prepared to be treated as if you are irrelevant. Especially in gatherings of self-important, still-working that's, bent on one-upping each other. Be prepared to get dunned into volunteer work: look before you leap and feel free to walk away if they take advantage of you. Got burned by a couple organizations before I woke up and told them to fuck off. //On the other hand, Monday mornings, especially when the weather and traffic suck, are a gift from GOD!!!

[quote] Be prepared to be treated as if you are irrelevant.

I don't know. I started feeling like that when I turned 50. 53 now. At work I try to stay relevant to be the one pushing for change where it's needed. Experience is another plus. And thankfully some younger co-workers are a lot less open to change than I am. So I still have my place. But in private life, I am really not sure what my role in life is (besides being a husband). Will need to find something. Maybe I am finally writing that novel that I keep talking about for decades...

Being "busy" is insufficient.

Work provides a host of other things that are important - social interaction, intellectual stimulation/problem solving, daily structure and routine, personal satisfaction at a job well-done, political machination and intrigue, identity and self-worth, humblebrag martyrdom - I'm soooo busy.

You need to figure out what work uniquely provided beyond income that you need and find a substitute to be happy.

I wouldn't mind running an AirBnB or a liquor store or be a part time barista when I retire. Exposes me to enough people in a superficial way, and I actually help people. Do they hire old farts over 65 though?

[quote]Going from answering the question 'what do you do" with "I edited a design publication" to "I'm retired" was/is for me something of a comedown.

You couldn't answer, "For work? Nothing. I edited a design publication but I retired a few years ago."?

Who are you people that think work makes you vital and not working makes you useless or a has-been?

Or maybe find some friends with whom you can talk about something other than careers or a new flavored coffee pod in the office coffee lounge.

Having edited a design magazine suggests an interesting perspective and background. Why blow that off because you don't draw a salary these days or that nothing interesting happened on your commute this week.

Apparently a foreign concept to you, some people like their work, especially creatives. I love mine and will continue part time as long as I can.

Retired at 57, after six months of retirement, the novelty wore off and I did feel a lack of purpose. I volunteered as a court advocate for children, and secured work as an education consultant two days per week. Following the school calendar, plenty of time off for travel during holidays and summers. This continued for five years. This allowed me to acclimate myself to more leisure so that I was able to transition to full retirement. Somehow the drive to "do", and the questions of purpose and productivity have faded. I think of my father, who worked as a pattern maker until 72, in clothing industry. He was worn out by then. I was able to retire and have the luxury to ponder my state, and the energy to fill my days. Grateful.

[quote] Is the loss of purpose more overwhelming than I expected?

No one can answer that question except yourself and in due course.

R26 Hon at 72 eyes would glaze over if you said you were the Pope.

[quote]Apparently a foreign concept to you, some people like their work, especially creatives. I love mine and will continue part time as long as I can..

Not foreign at all, but hardly the usual state, either. Professional artists, architects, physicians, psychiatrists, professional dancers, professional musicians, professional athletes...these are all people whose identity and whose work is intertwined and sometimes nearly inseparable. Lawyers, clergy, college professors all members of the classic professions are often much less so, I would say, and I'd venture farmers as an occupation where they may be more so, to offer a few examples.

I think most people, too many people certainly, like their work more than they should. Excel spreadsheets, weekly sales reports, client feedback analysis, scrum meetings, the entering of timesheet project codes, hiring new staff, business expansion, the daily cleaning out the stuff that falls beneath the stainless steel ice cream bins or Subway sandwich toppings bins, hosing down the sidewalk in front of the business, scrutinizing expense and travel reports, Accounts Receivable, driving a milk truck, steaming clean and disinfecting the milking machines, fixing broken faucets and toilets, cleaning septic tanks, selling luxury boats or boat slip leases, making annual purchase recommendations for new exhibits at the zoological park, sending fundraising newsletters to Friends of the Redwood Forests, planning an annual dinner of solar panel manufacturers, writing copy for the annual report on Our Disappearing Icebergs, doing graphs of the national rankings of poverty statistics, managing a muffler repair shop, supplying Bunn-o-Matic coffee machines and burnt coffee to muffler repair shops, putting the new fall colors on display in a Zara shop window, figuring the deductibles and tax filings for the Smithmeyers and their small business, the angry guy who owns that cake shop that hates fags, that IT guy who always wears sweatpants and who replaces your laptop every 2.5 years. It's a long list of jobs that people may not dislike, may make the best of, may find some small pleasure in some aspects of, or may just like well enough, considering the options, but fuck, I hope they are not defining themselves by those jobs. That would just seem to say that they spent their life buying into a lie about all work being good.

Great thread. This place needs more frank conversations about finances and careers.

Interesting, R23. I wonder how many early deaths can be attributed to that stress or coping with that stress. So many colleagues are eating themselves to an early grave by their 40s, or drink like they're still in their 20s, drugs (prescribed or otherwise), or not exercising at all. I work in an office setting, so much of this is work is not much more than pushing papers.

Get a dog and a library card to avoid idleness in your old age.

I volunteer walking dogs at an animal shelter every morning. Great exercise, I’m doing good and I have a purpose every day.

If your days are morning empty, you’re likely to become bored.

But you do not need to work another job if you don’t want! It’s amazing not answering to anyone.

Former coworkers (who didn't retire) probably won't keep in touch with you.

Sounds boring, but you should catch up on all the doctors' / dentist appointments you've put off.

When I was underemployed, I volunteered (6 months) for Meals on Wheels. Used my own car. IIRC, it was one day per week. It was a small urban area (my route). In one large building, I probably dropped off 7 to 10 meals.

If someone doesn’t like that you are retired, then they probably have no interests of their own and are not worth your time. There is little honor in constantly working. I also agree that some nonprofits will take advantage of your volunteer time, especially if you are competent.

Thank you all for the sage advice. So many good suggestions here. This is what DL does best.

Every day I think, "Wow, what I could do today if I didn't have to do that goddamn, shit-assed job?".

I love the freedom of retirement.

you old farts do not have young friends, unless you pay for them.

Surprise! You’re out of money! Get a new job and get at it!

I’m 45. I’m ready to retire now, but my bank balance will not comply.

Work is a way to fill hours of time during a day. Suddenly you have to figure out what to do for that time.

Everyone should consider doing a phased retirement, where they continue to work at least part time for a while.

Not only will this help your finances; it will help you mentally.

R51 me too only I live off of my trust fund and stopped working

I retired 3 years ago a few months earlier than I had planned and immediately signed up to volunteer at my local Humane Society, hospital and hospice care. Then Covid hit. I'm still with the hospital, it's menial work, but it provides some structure and a chance to run around instead of sitting all day. At the Humane Society I walk dogs and plan on getting into bunny care, ( I have 3 rescue kitties). Hospice was not for me. Almost a year ago I began working for the Census Bureau which is part time and I make my own schedule. This fall I hope to take my first trip to Europe since retiring, Spain and Portugal. Covid threw a monkey wrench into my retirement plans, travel has been postponed for 2 years and I can feel myself aging and lacking the stamina I had even 3 years ago. Something always comes up.

[quote]Everyone should consider doing a phased retirement, where they continue to work at least part time for a while.

From my observation this was more important to employees whose job came before all else and who fretted how they would fill the hours without deadlines. If they cut down to 2 or 3 days a week, they usually tended to do the same dull week's work as before but in 3 or 4 days of time, jittery to maintain the illusion of a transition when it really wasn't.

[quote]Not only will this help your finances; it will help you mentally.

And for others I would argue that their mental health improves with a clean break and sooner rather than later.

you old farts do not have young friends, unless you pay for them.

No thank you! No young friends for me, they're too stupid for words. Bring on the old guys, they're much more fun and they get it.

I retired at the end of a year, which here in the east was winter and home bound, but I had absolutely no regrets. February I spent the entire month touring Australia and also signed up to be a tutor (Adult Literacy). As someone posted, no early alarm ringing, no need for those suits/ties, etc. I miss some of my co-workers and the work projects but extremely happy I retired.

I'm glad I retired, my Manager never liked or appreciated my work, the deadlines caused a health concern. After retirement, I never returned to the office, why bring on more stress.

I hope to spend my retirement training service animals to make visits to hospitals and care homes.

My father retired. Then he died.

Actually there is a link between retirement and death. No matter what age you retire, the rate of death is much higher for those who are retired.

You have to ensure you remain stimulated. Yeah, you will decay mentally, physically and emotionally if you have nothing to do.

But there is so much out there to do that’s so much more fulfilling than employment. Employment is a means to an end, albeit hopefully with some positive experiences along the way.

You’ll be less inclined to travel than you think.

You could always join the Peace Corp!

[quote] You’ll be less inclined to travel than you think.

Not retired yet, but I already enjoy traveling less than I used to. Even before Covid, I was tired of the airport experience, long flights, etc. I probably would still enjoy road / driving trips, though.

[quote]Everybody is different, but I think there's a low point people reach about 4-5 months into retirement. When it really sinks in, you might feel unvalued or depressed because like it or not, our careers define us in many ways. Who are you without a career?

This is me completely. I retired 12/31/21. Even with things to do during the day, I got bored and lazy. Retirement was freeing, in a sense, but also incredibly confining. On June 1 I went back to work as a contractor and am much happier. Especially in this economy.

R63 Care to expand on that?

Traveling risks a great deal of grief and aggravation whereas home offers comfort, peace and ease.

One positive about retirement traveling is that you can (if affordable) stay in one place longer. You don't have to rush back. Traveling always made me tired and seems like I could never do much on the day of arrival. If you have more time, you can sleep in, get more acclimated, and enjoy where you are.

Thankfully I got my traveling done when I was younger and had more energy. If you're young and can afford it, I suggest you don't wait.

I continue to work at part-time jobs because I can't deal with doing nothing at all.

I know someone in her 80’s who went to Africa with a girlfriend. She said they brought them hot water bottles and blankets. It sounded boring but it made her happy. The trip cost $36,000 a person.

[quote]After retirement, I never returned to the office, why bring on more stress.

There are few parades sadder in all the world than when a former employee comes back to mill awkwardly about the office for no purpose other than his own boredom and a desire for warm greetings.

The feigned surprise. The overly warm "Hey, John!"s that fade in a split second as suddenly everyone who still works there has some place to be right that very instant, some project to complete, some call to make. In seconds John finds himself alone shuffling around, asking people whose names he doesn't even know if they want to take an early lunch at Hollighan's, but it seems everyone is so busy today. It's 11.00 in the morning.

John won't make that mistake again.

Ok. I'm 66 and my partner is 78 and we've been together 46 years. Partner has been retired since 2011.

I've been working since 15 years old. And for the last 35 years plus I've been in healthcare. Retired at the end of this March. I LOVED my career and not management. I'm an ECMO Specialist/Registered Respiratory Therapist. NICU,PICU,CICU,ICU,ER. Critical Care and seen it all. Worked with incredible people. Worked 12 hour nightshifts' for most of those 35 years. And the last two years took care of Covid patients.

Have had Asthma my whole life. And if my health wasn't deteriorating would have worked longer. My partner and I are going to sell our 3 acre ranchette and move to something smaller. We physically just can't keep it taken care of anymore. So we are getting everything done to sell the place. 5 stall horse barn with tack room, 2400 sq ft house with a 2nd story deck in the trees, cypress gazebo that sits 20 people etc. A lot to do! I never wanted to sell. But shit gets real as you age. Downsizing.

I had an extensive library and gave over 3000 books to the local library. We also have a large art collection. Antiques etc. A lot of stuff that has to go and that is hard. So giving away or trading for work now. Painting walls and renovating.

I still can't sleep at night. I've lost weight which is always good since retiring. I can cook to my heart's content. I got marijuana gummies for my wrecked body and that's awesome. I forget what day it is! It's bazaar for me. The hundreds of books I have that I haven't read yet I'm reading now!! Can actually meet up with friends for dinner or casino run or whatevah!! I'm not on call anymore!!! We live 30 mins from New Orleans so now can just rediscover my city again at my leisure. I'm very busy.

My old manager called me and wants me to come back to work PRN please? I do feel bad because I loved taking care of babies and children and adults and I know my shit. And I know they need me for the Covid patients. Never say never BUT going back to work will kill me.

The bad thing is honestly getting to know my partner again. Because it's hard realizing that we don't have a lot in common anymore. Which is ok. We still love each other very much. Because I wasn't home that much and when I was I spent time with our place and horses etc. I was a workaholic and I'm working through that. I grew up poor and my driving force in life was to never be poor again. Its weird that I just love being home and actually quite wonderful. Once we move then we can travel and have dinner parties and I can finally just see my friends in the daytime!! I really do live one day at a time now because I'm in bad health. I wear what I want now and say what I want and fuck them if they can't take a joke. Life is good.

25% of your salary, you will discover, was spent just in support of having the job.

Things like clothing and associated costs, lunches and other meals, commuting costs, additional taxes, etc. It adds up.

In retirement you don't have to spend this money so it lessens your need for monthly income by a like amount. This is an eye opener for some.

[quote]Former coworkers (who didn't retire) probably won't keep in touch with you.

They were never more than coworkers. And now they're not even that.

While you were busy mistakenly thinking that the people you worked with were your friends, you were neglecting having real ones.

No matter how much money you have, when the paycheck spigot turns off, it can be a mind fuck.

I was a real saver. And I lived below my means. So to suddenly have a fixed income (despite it being really generous) took months to adapt to, but I’m fine now mentally.

They also say there is nothing worse than retiring during a recession because you have to watch your investments love value.

My plan is to retire on pension, social security, and dividends, and let stocks grow. It will be a shock to the system to stop working, but physically I need it. Almost 3 years of being glued to a laptop for constant virtual meetings or writing at home is killing my back.

What's been most difficult for me is resisting the urge to still be "productive" with my time in some way. A ridiculous but strong guilt reflex pops up if I use a day, for example, lounging on the couch all day and into evening reading a book beginning to end. This need to feel productive and the frequent guilt response if one judges one's activity as lazy or a waste of time is such worker bee programming. This programming is especially ingrained if you've been plugged into the corporate machine for half your life. It's harder than I thought to simply relax and enjoy having no obligations other than, say, more thoroughly exploring certain neighborhoods I've only visited briefly before on weekends to run errands. Or taking myself to a solo lunch and maybe a drink at a wine bar as the only goals for the day. It's even a bit daunting trying to approach grocery shopping or other tasks in a casual mood and go at a relaxed pace instead of cataloging them in order of importance and following through in a hurry to get them done before...before what? I used to have to arrange my entire personal life around my job schedule and demands, including my weekends, (such as: I need to get this done this weekend or I'll have to wait another week because of work). I do have a wide social circle and I live in a busy city (Bay Area) so I'm not isolated and have many meetup options for an active social life so obviously that helps. I've only been retired for a little over a month, and just today I started thinking about how I'm wasting too much time doing "nothing important." It's a process for sure, but I'll take the challenges of deprogramming over still working. Best thing I ever did was quit my job and retire 2 years earlier than my official retirement age.

R10 - yes to all of this, and bravo. There is so much to fill one's life with, but we're not used to having all that free time. Being unleashed from work culture feels odd at first, but oh how I love it now.

R79 I'm totally and completely with you.

r10, the kinds of work you're imagining do sound dreary: but you seem to forget that there are actually people who enjoy their work immensely. I'm a professor ata small liberal arts college and plan to work until at least 70 because I enjoy teaching so much.

Gout

Cheese Constipation

Meat Sweats

Pancake Trots

Pasta Heartburn

Ice Cream Farts

Food basically becomes your enemy when you get old.

I’m 45, planning to work full-time until I am 50, and then cut my hours to work just 4 days per week. I don’t earn a lot, but I worked 4 days for a few ears while caring for my mother in her final years and I know I can manage financially.

We’re indoctrinated to believe that success is a full-time job, a company credit card and constant connection to the office, but my dad died at 60, and if the same fate befalls me I don’t want to have worked myself into an early grave. Life is short enough!

(R63) I think it depends on the individual, since my retirement prior to the pandemic, I took yearly trips to Europe (12 visits) and would have continued, except Mr. Virus had other plans. Sitting around and doing nothing will shorten one's life. Our city has a Career Center for Seniors that provides computer lessons, card games, library, pool tables, etc. and meals. Plenty activities.

R86, you are very fortunate to have the money to travel like that in retirement. Do you need a sugar baby?

R87 I travel overseas once or twice each year. And not just to Europe!

I'm decades away from retirement, but definitely don't "need" a sugar baby.

[quote]They also say there is nothing worse than retiring during a recession because you have to watch your investments lose value.

R77 Yes, and try retiring during a bear stock market, falling bond prices due to increasing interest rates, hyperinflation, and likely a recession, all of which we have now. Read about "sequence of return risk" if you want to learn why the ~5 years before and after the beginning of retirement should be the most conservative in terms of investments of your entire life. It's also important to have a "bucket" of cash or cash equivalents (e.g., certificates of deposit) during that period to decrease the chances of being forced to sell devalued equity and/or bond investments.

R89. Good points, but to say we currently have hyperinflation currently is a bit alarmist. We have high inflation but not hyperinflation.

My mom retired two years before my dad and she got really depressed. She was a teacher and she was so close to her co-workers, that not being with them during the day really got to her. Sometimes she'd go meet them for coffee after work or go to the school just to visit. And she started calling me endlessly with the most absurd questions. One day, she called while I was at work and said "I know you're busy and this will just take a minute" and I said "ok, I have a meeting in 5 minutes, what's going on?" Calls from mom at work were usually a bad sign (grandma died, dad's in the hospital, etc). She said "Did you watch American Idol last night?" I said "I have to go" and just hung up.

And then she started going to the mall everyday. She bought so many clothes my dad noticed and had to have a talk with her (which didn't go over well).

R90 Granted, we're not at the peak annual CPI-U of 12.4 we had in 1980, a level that many called "hyperinflation." It certainly felt that way to me as a poor graduate student! The CPI-U so far this year has averaged 6.2, and hopefully the inflation rate will decrease the rest of the year now that gas prices are declining.

Retirement has been quite the surprise. Surprise! You are living in poverty now!

R93 Anything but. I have more money actually. No work clothes. Spending less money on gas. Eating out way less. I have time to cook healthy meals. I actually like to cook especially in the Fall and I have more time for it. Gardening and canning. Making jam. Baking. I belong to a weekly painting group and monthly book club. So much more time for reading and watching documentaries. I started-host a 2x monthly board game group where we serve dinner. More time for the gym. I had 2 achilles surgeries recently and hope to participate w/ my cycling club soon. I get sick way less because I’m not exposed to people coming in sick to work. This is the reward for working all those years.

Ive done my own thing pretty much all my life. Retirement will just be another stage in my work. I have enough projects to least me another five lifetimes.

That I retired at all. I was beloved at work, mostly as the institutional memory in a place somewhat haunted by the past. Knowing where the bodies were buried during a 30 year tenure meant a lot. That, and the last executive director was the chair’s butt boy who knew less about the office than me AND he was lazy as shit besides. They didn’t call me the mayor of that place for nothing.

I left but didn’t leave by agreeing to oversee archiving the history of the department’s first 50 years. Two or three half days a week looking through old folders, two assistants to do the scut work, and two more years to boost my SS earnings and 401k contributions. It was a perfect way to ease the transition. I’m carried as a consultant now and still “work” a day a month or so, five years after officially retiring.

No more surprise anal.

You’d be surprised how quickly many of your close work friendships die off. They felt real but were largely situational or transactional.

That doesn’t mean all of them, but those you keep are often people who left before you, so you’ve now built a connection that transcends the workplace.

And in many respects, it’s healthy. You don’t benefit from staying plugged into all the goings on at your old workplace.

When people who work for me ask to set up time to talk (they’re usually seeking advice), I usually have to brace myself and give myself time. Or I will do them all the same week. I just don't want to bring that crap into my current life. Too stressful. And none of it important anymore.

R98 makes sense. I retired from a very demanding job, supervising a team of people, responsible for projects that required a lot of dealing with their personal issues and squabbles. As time passed, I left those memories behind. On the rare occasion I see any of them, listening to their work talk, I marvel that any of it mattered to me. So much of me was invested, now I see how work was draining the joy from daily life. A mentor once told me, you don't live with these people or love them. It's work. Put them on like a suit in the morning, change into leisure clothing after work. I didn't fully appreciate the value of that advice.

R99, the other evening we had dinner with a friend who still works. Listening to her go on about the corporate nonsense made it less than relaxing. (Of course, it reinforced the wisdom of our retirements.)

Which is why retirees like to spend time with each other… they don’t have to wallow in that crap.

When I first retired, the monthly pay was cut a bit...from my normal working pay. I was nervous about it, but it turns out, it was a little more than I needed. I no longer needed to constantly fill up the gas tank, for commutes, and I'm basically a homebody anyway. I was pleasantly surprised by that. I did manage to travel on two nice trips, but I don't have expensive tastes anymore. No regrets at all.

Nice article.

Has anyone ever been decimated by a big medical bill? That is my fear regarding retirement.

Imagine how liberating it is to wake up unsure of what day of the week it is?

That's luxurious retirement!

Figure it out after you've had your coffee.

[quote] Has anyone ever been decimated by a big medical bill? That is my fear regarding retirement.

Do you have health insurance, R103?

Yes. But won’t they not cover some items?

Don’t worry, anal prolapse is covered.

You should find out, R106. They'll give you a list of items covered and not covered (also, deductibles and percentages that you need to pay). You can also shop around for plans (usually HMOs) that cover more things. I have a large HMO now. So, if I don't like a doctor, I can ask for another one. Frankly, I haven't asked to switch doctors for a long time b/c they have a lot of good doctors.

Also, check Obamacare of the Healthcare.gov / Marketplace. They recently changed some rules and the plan prices might be more reasonable for you, now.

The boyfriend of 40+ years is dead. The cat is aging.

Friends all pour through the revolving door.

I will work as long I am able.

Ensure you have sufficient coverage. Not an area to skimp.

My sister-in-law didn’t get prescription drug coverage because, believe it or not, she was never on medication for her first 70 years. Then she developed a medical issue that required insulin and had to scrape through the rest of that year paying out of pocket. Not a wise bet on her part!

you could put up a gloryhole, r109.

(R98) Very true. After my retirement always received Christmas cards from co-workers and the invites to future retiree luncheons/dinners. That has all ceased, no cards and reading the Corporate Newsletter I ask myself, so many new faces/names. Luckily, life goes on.

R104 I often have to look at my online calendar to see what day it is! Plus, we can go places during the week an things are way less crowded.

I have maintained about 2 close work friendships. However, prior to COVID, we had a 1-2 Tim

^ I hit enter too early.

We had a 1-2 times monthly lunch out w/ both retirees and people still at the office. I hope we start again.

Take your gold watch and move on.

I miss Katie.

My retirement surprise was that I love it so much and oh God do I love it. I was forced into retirement at 58 due to a medical problem and retired after spending a year on medical disability, I am now just about to turn 71 and I just love retirement the medical problem is still there but doesn't cause me too many problems and isn't life threatening. I didn't hate working but it was still having to work, getting up early and dealing with people I wouldn't chose to be around. I am not rich but I do have enough financially that money isn't a problem, I live frugally on just my Social Security but I have a reserve if I need it.

I should have been born rich because I love being a lazy bum who does nothing.

[quote]You’d be surprised how quickly many of your close work friendships die off. They felt real but were largely situational or transactional.

[quote]And in many respects, it’s healthy. You don’t benefit from staying plugged into all the goings on at your old workplace.

[quote]...And none of it important anymore.

Nice post R98. It takes a real friendship to survive that situational or transactional relationship you describe as you say. I think there really has to be some unusual bond beyond shared time in the same place; remove the glue of the shared situation and there's seldom much left. Some out of context meeting might occasionally work out well, but how many times can you rehash old times and wonder what happened to whatshisname?

I worked remotely for years before Covid and at least two-thirds of my immediate colleagues I've never actually met. I liked them all, in their own ways, but the very few colleagues with whom I've ever spent even a little time with outside the office. It's no surprise that we don't keep in touch, but if they were to come to my city, I would be happy to see them, to meet for a meal, to show them around a bit, but we live in other parts of the world and that is enough to break the context of spending too much time remembering some office freak and other reminiscences about the "old days" and old stories than don't grow better with time.

With few exceptions, it just seems a horrible plan to make all or many of your friends "work friends."

So many people with modest retirement/pension funds available seem to have this RIDICULOUS notion that retirement means carte blanche to travel-travel-travel. One stupid acquaintance did just that, plus do a stupid reverse mortgage, in order to travel all over. She and a friend thought it terribly dashing to fly to Paris for a weekend. She's now poor, in the hole, house falling apart, health going down the toilet. She is a poster child for living way outside her means.

Honestly, to me there is nothing better than being at home and enjoying your house, yard and neighborhood.

Travel is stressful. The flying experience is terrible.

Many people have conditioned themselves to see vacations as the only opportunities to be happy.

I have the money to travel somewhere really nice...Europe, or in the US. Because of the wildfires, floods and flight overbookings and cancellations, the craziness all around...I will wait for now. I have no desire to go through that hassle and chaos. It's been ten years since I really traveled.

I have a question for the experts on DL (hell, we’re all experts, right?). I plan to sell my house and another property when I retire (sometime next year). Both properties are paid off with no mortgage. I plan to take the money from both properties and buy a really nice house in cash. I might have to dip into savings as well to buy what I want. Here’s the tricky part—would it be smart to then do a reverse mortgage on the house so that I have more income? I have enough income from SS and a pension to live well, but I have no heirs, so why not just have more money coming in? I figured all of those assets aren’t going to anyone, I might as well use them in my lifetime. What do all of you think?

I don't understand reverse mortgages. My next door neighbor died three years ago. Her home is still sitting unsold and empty. I learned that she had a reverse mortgage and now the bank owns it.

r122, if I were you and didn't need the income, I wouldn't do it...you may live to 105 and who know what the world will be like.

Stay engaged and be honest to yourself if you need to be needed. Change can be scary, but it can also be an exciting new chapter.

Look for trustworthy resources for useful information (financial advice, legal rights, etc.) to help you set things up properly to keep you safe while exploring.

I disagree that it's difficult to make friends when you get older. Perhaps ask a few of your current friends to help you make new acquaintances. Suggest going out for lunch together, playing cards or some other social activity.

I just thought of this, find a retirement "buddy" from one of your current friends and the two of you could brainstorm and plan activities that would extend your circle of friends.

Another idea might be to move, if you're financially able to do so. I'm retired and I moved to a new apartment this past year. Wow, did that keep me busy, plus I've met my new neighbors. Funny side story: my new apartment is at the end of a hall where three units have front doors next to each other - it turns out the three of us are men, about the same age, and we're all gay, so how about that?

Enjoy your retirement years!

R122 Talk to a tax pro, not DL.

If you sell two houses, you'll pay capital gains on a profit over and above $250k (single) or $500k (if married) assuming you meet the IRS requirements for having owned and lived in the house for a certain number of years. In addition to the capital gains taxes (15 or 20%, depending) you'll pay on the profits, you will start (2 years later - it takes the IRS that long to look back) paying considerably more each month for Medicare premiums unless you're 61 or 62 or younger when you sell because your income during that year will be considerably more than it would have been had you not sold.

Paying all cash for the new house, though, may not be the best strategy. Having a manageable mortgage - not a reverse mortgage but one on which you're paying interest and principal - in retirement seems like a no-brainer if you can afford it. Much depends on how much you borrow, but the interest, some of the closing costs (like points) and property taxes make itemizing deductions a tax-saver when you have a lower income as most of us do in retirement. If, like most of us, you have higher medical bills in old age, the combination of medical expenses, property taxes, and mortgage interest can easily wipe out all or most Federal taxes.

[quote] I plan to take the money from both properties and buy a really nice house in cash. I might have to dip into savings as well to buy what I want. Here’s the tricky part—would it be smart to then do a reverse mortgage on the house so that I have more income?

Paying cash for a house then doing a reverse mortgage sounds like a bad idea. Reverse mortgages are for desperate times. Even in desperate times, not sure if it's advisable.

Why not just put a down payment in an amount you can afford, put some in savings (incl. an emergency fund)?

Agreed that the reverse mortgage seems inadvisable. I would prefer to take a small mortgage and leave a reserve fund sufficient to cover the difference if something unforeseen happened. If your financial situation were at risk, if you found for some reason that the house or the physical conditions of living there were not agreeable to changed circumstances, it seems there would be much more flexibility to sell a property on which you had a small conventional mortgage that to get out from under the limitations of a second mortgage; you would have more options with the conventional.

Any anal surprises in retirement?

Depends.

R1 said it for me but there’s one thing I’d add (and I didn’t read the other responses to see if this has been said already).

Don’t relocate before trying out your new area first. I moved to a place where I’d always vacationed and discovered that full-time life there was a MUCH different thing. I wish now that I’d never moved away from home but the area (Seattle) is so expensive now I can’t get back.

Can some sage tell us the pros/cons of a reverse mortgage?

That’s a good point, r132. I want to move to Rehoboth Beach, where I’ve vacationed quite a bit, but frankly I’ve never lived there. I do have a good friend who does and loves it, but it would be smart to try it out.

Also, I echo r133, can someone tell us the pros and cons of reverse mortgages? I’m the person upthread to suggested it. I simply want to make sure I don’t leave anything on the table, but I guess I might need that money in the future.

At the end of life, no-one says "I wish I'd spent more time in the office".

A capsule explanation of reverse mortgages and their pros and cons. I'm sure others here can provide more details, but a nutshell explanation that covers most of the things I've read about them. [for R133 & R134]

When I first learned of them they seemed attractive for someone with ties to their house, a mortgage free situation (or very nearly), and potentially attractive to someone a little on the house poor side -- someone with the weight of their net worth in their residence. I would have some serious misgivings without first having a financial adviser review the proposal and alternatives.

[quote] At the end of life, no-one says "I wish I'd spent more time in the office".

R135 You clearly don’t work where I do.

I was surprised at how little work meant to me beyond the paycheck. Yes, work was always a means to an end, but none of it means a thing now. A distant meaningless memory…Also beware of friends making plans that fall through, especially travel plans. Since retirement, I get a lot of let’s do this or that, ready to go, but other party falls through in the end…I guess it’s just me and Bobby McGee…

My surprise was my unwillingness to consider part-time (freelance) work.

It’s nice to have extra dough on top of a fixed income. I started exploring an opportunity that would have brought me some nice additional cash… then realize I couldn’t stand any of it again.

The meetings high prep for that get postponed at the last minute. The demand to do meetings at times that are really intrusive. The bullshit of having to incorporate really stupid feedback that weakens the product and erodes your pride in your work. The powerful exec whose ego you have to stroke.

One you escape all the nonsense, the thought of giving back any part of yourself is abhorrent.

R139, I would never have said that I undervalued my own time when I worked. I had 4 months of holiday and leave time, worked from home, and suffered very few meetings.

But having stopped, I share your realization that I couldn't go back to caring about stupid things, to spending too much time preparing for work rather than working; the meetings, the check-ins, the progress reports that recap the meetings for the same people who attended, the weekly complications added to process that subtract from product. I can't fucking be bothered.

R139 - I know this feeling, viscerally. I've never had a LinkedIn, never needed it. I figured I could always create one if I ever decided I wanted/needed to do a little freelance or temp work for extra money. Whenever I consider it, though, the wave of revulsion that overtakes me is surprising. I absolutely don't want to go back to plugging into the corporate machine in any way, even temporarily. I want to remain liberated from that grind at all costs. I guess this is why I suddenly seem more able to follow a stricter budget.

R141 and r139 -- I call such feelings "corporate flashbacks" and you are correct they are disconcerting.

Thinking about pointless meetings, idiot e-level management, employee reviews, conference rooms, staff training seminars, and the on-going the corporate "bullshit du jour" makes me thank my lucky stars I saved/invested my money and got the hell out!

I turn 60 next month (yes, I am old) and as every week goes by, I realize just how impossible my job is. I am never able to come even close to ever being current. With each task I complete, three more drop in. I am surrounded by lazy ass people who make it their job to do nothing. I have lovely people around me who are supposed to be supporting me but make every task I face twice as hard. I believe both my physical and mental health are beginning to suffer from it and desperately want out from the madness. The money is good, but I am realizing it is not worth being in a soul crushing situation. I've been responsible and think I can make it minimal hardship. I also get some real satisfaction in knowing that my abandoning ship would be devastating to the organization. For years, I've been the glue that holds it all together.

We all want to think we're the glue that holds it all together.

R143, focus on maximizing what you leave the job with.

You may be able to present a compelling case, if you’ve been a strong employee, that they offer severance. The job has changed from what you accepted… it’s taking its toll on your mental health, whatever. I mean, obviously, be reasonable and honest. But employees 55+ scare them. They don’t want any claims against them. And sometimes, it’s easier than you think to walk away with something.

My situation had become intolerable and I was able to tell them I wanted “a mutual parting,” meaning they give me severance and let me keep my long-term incentives that I’d otherwise walk away from (hundreds of thousands), along with medical benefits for another nine months, and I would sign that I wouldn’t sue them. They said yes immediately. And I’d planned to just resign!

A wise friend said never resign without making one smart attempt to leave with money.

[quote] I have lovely people around me who are supposed to be supporting me but make every task I face twice as hard.

You sound like a bit of a martyr, saying you're the glue that holds it all together.

How are these people "lovely" if they make your job harder?

60 is not old, despite what DLers say. It's up to you to take care of yourself.

R143 I am in a similar situation. I can stay as long as I want to but I will be 67 in November and cannot even think of continuing. My staff is entitled, stupid and passive aggressive. I have never encountered this in my entire career (I was in advertising in NYC for 21 years and never saw this level of laziness and entitlement). I just called Soc Sec today and think I will quit late August (I have to give a 60 days notice per my contract). I am DONE!

I got 18 months of salary for signing an "I won't sue" document. Presumably for age discrimination. I was 49.

No real surprises but I was relieved to find out that the AARP retirement calculator, which said I had more than enough saved, was right, unlike the ones that said I’d end up in the gutter without at least $2 million.

R149. Once a year (for too many years) I would run through the various calculators. A Google search turns up 100s, but in fact there are a basic 12 or so that get republished or reworked just slightly. As you say, the results were all over the place but the exercise of running through the lot of them (the dozen) really pinpointed the things that were critical factors in saving but also in how I would live. Some just assume things that don't match at all with reality, or assume a life of 115 years, or mounting out of pocket medical costs (when I have national healthcare). In any case, seeing how they all work let's you find the one that's closet to your situation. THAT was the real benefit.

[quote] I turn 60 next month (yes, I am old) and as every week goes by, I realize just how impossible my job is.

I always thought there should be a common practice that older folks should be able to scale back their job way before official retirement age. Let's say at age of sixty you just work 38 or 35 hours a week, and that could go down to 15 by the age of 67 or 70. Obviously financial needs would need to be considered, so not sure how this could be pulled off. Or: It should become more (financially and socially) acceptable to step down the career ladder. I'm not sure I need to be a manager anymore at the end of my fifties. Maybe I want to be an individual contributor, less stress, but also less money. As an option this should be more widely available for those who want to scale back.

Many times I find myself looking at the clock and recalling what I would be doing at that very moment if I still worked.

Then I smile, and realize that retirement has been very, very good to me.

How much it solved 90% of my life’s problems. I realized that work was the source of the majority of my unhappiness and stress. In retrospect, I was never happy until I didn’t have to work. But everyone is different. I’ve known many workaholics who love their job - or need to be needed- who don’t enjoy it. I don’t understand it at all. Retirement is nothing but happiness.

And I’ll ditto the above - the retirement calculators that all say you need $2 million or you’ll end up eating cat food are BS. The biggest factor I think is genetic and family history. If both parents lived to 90+, maybe. But I have had a family history of cancer deaths before 72 - and they seem to be playing out consistently in this generation as well. Most people I know saved too much - and worked too long.

I don’t want to save too much but I’m afraid the Social Security system will collapse in my lifetime.

I don't think it will collapse as in one day it's gone. They may seriously cut down on it though, like never adjust payments to inflation anymore, giving it a slow death.

You’d should never totally rely on SS - but I think it’s ok to assume in the next 30+ years. For too many people, it’s their only source of retirement income - even hillbilly Trumpsters wouldn’t allow it.

I don't know any retired people who are really struggling. Even if they can't afford luxurious vacations etc. they lead decent middle class lives. No one is eating cat food to survive. However, that is more true of couples than single people. Two Social Security checks are fine but one alone probably doesn't cut it. Social Security will never collapse. It's all most Americans will have when they get older.

We don't have to worry about SS collapsing on its own. We have to worry about the Republican party gutting it altogether. If DeSantis gets elected, SS is toast. Medicare, too. These Federalist Society sociopaths want to bring this nation to pre-FDR days and, so far, they are getting their way.

I am retired. Several years. Actress Susan Flannery, who left CBS’s “The Bold and the Beautiful" in 2012 to become retired, told “TV Guide’s” Michael Logan (who asked her what she does): “[My days] have a way of filling up.”

This is accurate. Life continues. To no longer be actively working does not mean one is not actively living. Sometimes one’s days are pretty clear. Some days one seems to have everything going on.

Everyone told me it would be a big deal to lose my corporate identity (my title, being looked to for big decisions, being needed, etc.).

It’s meant exactly nothing. Who cares? I did the work I did and rose to a certain level of responsibility out of necessity… I needed to make money to pay bills and fund my future. That’s all it was.

I’m only proud that I was able to get myself to the point of stepping away while I am young enough to enjoy life. The rest is nonsense.

I will say, working with a therapist in the early days of retirement has been huge in terms of building healthy habits. (Spending years having to answer “How high?” whenever a boss asked me to jump is something that needs to be de-programmed.)

I love your comment, R 160. I plan to retire within the next six months. I will file for SS before the end of November and hopefully get my end of year bonus.After that, who knows when I will pull the plug but I expect it to be first Q of 2023. While i am somewhat worried about how I will spend my time I am sure I will figure it out. The stress in my life right now is 95% due to work.

Right on R160. The capitalist system relies on us being programmed that way. It becomes the only way to survive. We can all only be lucky enough to survive it - and retire, The only time you can truly be who you are and live your life as you want.

That's not the capitalist system. That's just life. When was life actually so relaxing that you could hang out and do whatever you wanted? And wherever you work, you work with difficult people. I'd say compared to any time in history working life in the US has never been easier than today. (It's become less lucrative in the last 30 years, but easier.)

Oh for fucks sake. Invest invest invest! I retired at 52 and have ZERO money worries. I don’t give a shit what gas prices are. Or groceries. I can’t spend my money fast enough.

[quote]I plan to retire within the next six months. I will file for SS before the end of November and hopefully get my end of year bonus.After that, who knows when I will pull the plug but I expect it to be first Q of 2023. While i am somewhat worried about how I will spend my time I am sure I will figure it out. The stress in my life right now is 95% due to work.

R161, check your company policies for end of year bonuses, and also retirement benefits. I worked for a company that had end of year bonuses and calculated another annual bonus in early January to be awarded in March or April. Their retirement policy was that once you scheduled your retirement you were awarded X-amount of weeks based on years of service, plus all annual leave available on 1 January -- a nice incentive to stick around until the first week of the new year. (Unfortunately my company was acquired by another in these months and so policies were cherry-picked to company advantage for the most part. I lost the year's worth of leave (nearly half a year in my case) but did get an end of year bonus, a buyout bonus, and a performance bonus based on the previous year's work that arrived in April long after I was gone. Anyway, it's worth a careful look at any bonuses and benefits for purposes of timing your leave.

For the work...you'll never regret having left in the first quarter and missed all the excitement of a new product launch in the third quarter.

Thanks R 165 for the advice. Per my contract, I have a 60 day work out after I resign/retire so I will time it based on that. My bonus is discretionary from the CEO and is not based on seniority, time of service, etc. It's been $10K for the last few years so if I get it this year that'll likely be the amount. My company does not pay out any remaining PTO. If they ask me to stay longer than 60 days (I am the head of a department) I will agree to 90 days but only if they pay out my PTO.

And yes I won't miss some new product launch or, in my case, some new patient initiative in the third quarter ha ha! I will be especially happy to leave my staff, most of whom are lazy and entitled with a poor work ethic, and are the source of much of my stress!

^ I am from NY and now live and work in Florida (since 2019), hence the shitty staff.

One pleasant surprise is you don't need as much money to live, after you've paid off the mortgage and car plus you don't need to spend money on work clothes.

I don’t think a shitty staff is just in Florida, R167. Most of my staff can only do one task at a time. Ask them to do a second and they make it so much work for me that it is not worth it. And these people are paid well!

^ Second that.

^ It's interesting this employee issue is not confined to Florida. And, I too will add, my company pays these people well about market rate and they suck. The best part is that they are salaried employees but act like they are hourly cashiers at Walgreens-- they bitch if we need to do a meeting at lunch (where they get a free lunch), and bitch if they stay 15 minutes past 5:00, or have to come in at 7:50 am (office opens at 8). It is unreal and I WILL NOT MISS IT!

^ well ABOVE not about

If all you have is your work you've missed out on life. Condolences.

Life is a banquet!

^^^^ Are you my Auntie Mame?

What is it that retired people usually do? Not saying it's required to stay productive. Just curious. Those who are at retirement age already, did you start volunteering anywhere? Where? Have you become politically more active in any way? Or do you work part time - for fun or because money is tight?

Volunteer at an animal shelter seven mornings week. Serve on a board and am involved with a capital campaign to build a new facility.

Then running, reading, time with our dogs.

The rest of the time fills itself.

Condolences to all those who spent 3/4 of your lives doing work you despised, but that was your choice.

The political upheaval we're experiencing right now is more stressful than money and investments. I didn't expect things to go this way, although we've had plenty of signs...

Some posters seem to feel that retirement has to be nirvana.

As much as I look forward to retiring, I think there will be tradeoffs. As long as, on balance, you're more relaxed, even slightly happier, then that's enough.

I enjoyed my work, but not my boss, hence my retirement. The Headquarters bigwigs were always grateful for my work on any of their projects. I did not was a retirement luncheon or dinner (which was the usual procedure), just cake and my boss did not make an appearance. After retirement I was informed my boss was removed and placed in another office. Just rewards indeed.

I retired a year ago and am so fucking bored. I know I need to find a new purpose and promise myself that will happen but right now I'm wearing a groove in the couch while streaming movies and bingeing on game shows.

Live your truth r182!

It"s August. Not a good time for purpose and promise.

Some days you'll wake up and not know what day of the week it is because you don't need to know.

That was true if you were home for the first two years of the pandemic, too.

Always have a spare trick on hand in case of falls. You don't want to have fallen and can't get up. Also, stop asking where's the beef, just smile and act like you know exactly where it is.

I don't think I'll ever retire. I lost my high-paying corporate job in the Great Recession. I'd been seeing a guy who owned his own business for a year for about a year. Anyway, I went on unemployment and was very depressed. I couldn't get a job and really wasn't looking that hard. Anyway, I started going to his shop and started helping out. I don't ever remember how it started. After a year of so, he put me on the payroll. I asked him to keep my salary at a certain level so I could get Obamacare. I learned skills over the years and when one of his employees went on maternity leave, I took over. She never came back. Then COVID hit and business slowed down so he got rid of his bookkeeper and I took over a lot of his duties. Now, while not irreplaceable (no one is), I'm a very important part of his business, really almost a partner if I wanted to be (I don't). I'm 66 and expected to retire by now and my retirement surprise is that I'm not. While it sounds like I'm unhappy, I'm really not. I now work from home for the most part. His two other most important employees have both been with him over 20 years, so we're able to leave to go on vacation when ever we want (we're going to Europe for 2 1/2 weeks next month and another two weeks in December). I don't have to touch my 401K either. And he puts up with my bitching at him because I'm very logical and precise and he's all scattershot.

I guess I always had this dream of retiring and having money to do whatever I wanted to do. But I read all the responses of the people here who are bored and unhappy because they retired with nothing to do, and I'm happy to be doing something.

Another reason to love DL. I'll think of this thread and my post when I think I should be "retired."

tl:dr I work for my partner and can't retire but that's a good thing.

Congratulations, OP. No advice, I'm too young. But, make the most of it. What's awesome is you now have acquired to wisdom to understand how to best use your time- what will fulfill you, what will edify you, what will make you happy, and traps to avoid.

Peace.

R188 Congratulations. That's a lovely and inspiring story. You found a way to overcome what life threw at you. New career, new relationship, and you successfully merged the two (that alone is amazing).