Matteo Lane: why do i want to hit him with a baseball bat?

Because you're a psychotic cunt?

He’s cute and funny.

The mildly annoying thing (not his fault) is that he’s a cute gay clone—nice face and mustache, rocking body—none of which we normally associate with gay comedians

I enjoy him. He’s like 5’2”?

Thanks for pointing him out, OP. I watched a few of his clips. He's funny. And cute. And has a nice body. He can sing too. What's not to love?

This clip is fucking hilarious:

Because you’re a bad person, OP.

Because he’s modelled himself on Kathy Griffin? Close your eyes and listen - uncanny.

There's that smugness....

R6 I noticed that too, his mannerisms and delivery in his stand up are basically identical to Kathy Griffin’s. He’s still funny, but it always throws me off to be reminded of her.

Kathy is way more butch.

Cute little pocket Italian gay

I didn't like him from the couple short stand-up clips I saw, but relaxed my opinion having seen him in a long interview.

I think he’s pretty funny. I’m going to see him here in DC in November. His show sold out quickly.

He's very cute and sexy, despite his smallness, and I love when he does imitations of his mother talking (she apparently has a flat suburban Chicago accent). He's had some trouble finding his own voice, though--he seems to be lifting off of other comedians, like Coco Peru.

I'm a bit mystified why he always dresses so sluttily for his comedy shows, but it's become his thing.

I don't like 'story' comedians, ones who tell these long tales about something with a little ha-ha at the end.

You just know he’s a hot, pig bottom

He posts lots of pictures of his bare ass

Exhibit A

You want him OP

I bet he looks amazing in a jockstrap.

He genuinely looks great with a mustache.

Took a look at R17's link. Good God, she's got tinier meat then I do.

I look at him and I just feel exhausted. I can't with people who are so on all the time. I bet he unveils breakfast every morning, like it's a stage production.

I just don't care for people who stink of things other than health and honest labor.

In Times Square. He has a lot of gray hair for age 35...

He's too desperate. The flop sweat would sink the Titanic.

We'd hate him if he appeared on radio.

His jokes aren't clever or witty and he relies on his audience being drunk.

He also relies on that pederastic combination of sexy muscles and child-like cuteness.

R21 is unaware of the possibilities of growth during erection.

Stand-up comedy is a very limited form of communication.

[quote]He has a lot of gray hair for age 35...

I don't know what you mean.

He's only a little older than I am.

[quote][R21] is unaware of the possibilities of growth during erection.

Um, no I'm not.

He's hot and adorable. However, he should never speak.

He's always very...On.

I much prefer Joe Dombrowski as my go to gay stand up.

^ He's very shouty.

Instagram keeps trying to push this queeny idiot everyday on me. I can't imagine sitting though a set of stand up off a person that literally only talks about being gay.

Is he related to the Lois Lanes?

Is he related to Priscilla Lane?

Penny Lane?

Little Italian

He's cute, talented artist and singer, loves to cook, and would be great in small doses. I don't have enough energy to keep up because he would be completely exhausting to have as a friend or partner.

I've listened to him a few times on podcasts and enjoyed it, but the footage I've seen of his standup does nothing for me. He's too mainstream "YASSSSS QUEEN!" gay for my tastes. He seems like a good guy though.

He's very unfunny but I compliment him on his fitness.

I think he's pretty funny, but he tends to recycle a LOT of the same standup content.

He's definitely hotter than he is funny, though.

Painfully unfunny. He shouldn’t quit his dayjob.

This guy's straight but has a great way of talking about gay West Hollywood

Is he related to Nathan?

I thought he was relatively new, but this is from six years ago.

I wish he would include his mother Cleo in his act, they should tour together.

In his defense, to some extent, when I worked at Burger King in the early 90's people would sometimes come in and order "Vegetarian Whoppers". They were basically just a Whopper with cheese without the beef patty. I don't recall how the cashiers rang them up though.

On a similar note, there's a bar near me where if you order a hamburger, that's literally all you get is a burger patty on a bun. You have to specifically tell them you want stuff like lettuce, tomato, mustard, pickles, onion, etc...

“que du fromage” would be more colloquial than “seulement du fromage”

Has OP physically assaulted anyone yet? Anyone in her psyche ward?

"My wife and I make our own water" is a funnier lesbian one-liner impression than anything DLers have ever come up with.

OP, there's no logical point being jealous of younger bottoms at your age.

Pancaks

I think he's very cute, very attractive, not very gifted as a comedian, but his cooking videos are great. Why isn't he an opera singer though ? If I had any kind of talent for singing and a voice for opera, I would just do that

He must be a huge fan of Joan Rivers because he's copying her way of interacting with the audience when he does his stand-up.

He's very sicilian. It's incredible how black italians are different from white italians (from the north). They' re really different peoples bound together by politics and a semi common language

Looks-wise he’s ok, but that voice and personality are…a lot.

He's got a good voice actually, but I don't think STAND-UP is his forte. I heard him singing, and he doesn't sing very well either. He really should have a show where he "roasts "places. These are very entertaining

Matteo is hot, but his brother is HAWT

is his brother gay as well?? He mentions a gay cousin alot in his standup but not so much about the brother.

Yes the brother is gay, he mentions that a lot

"Black" r57? Please.

Oh, he’s best taken in small doses…

He says in that video he's getting rid of his bald spot.

He's getting bigger all the time.

He came to town earlier this year and sold out a 100 seat club for 4 shows.

They just announced he's coming back next February to a 500 seat venue and he sold out 2 shows in just a few days.