Walgreens Cashier Comments on Bowel Prep Supplies

[quote] He did compliment me on my choice of Gatorade flavors though.

It sounds like he likes you!

Dear Scathouse Forum ...

Why would you buy magnesium citrate, and another laxative? Just one bottle of the solution will have you shitting out your insides!

[quote] Then he saw the magnesium citrate bottles and Dolcolax tabs and mumbled "Oh! I see what's going on here

You should have shrieked, "Good work, Nancy Drew!"

And then stormed out of there in a huff.

If I were the cashier, I would have said "You're a whore darlin'. But at least your top will appreciate you."

My local Kroger had a guy working a cash register who was nice enough but obviously special needs in some way. He was good at his job, but he always found the embarrassing items and made some comment. I had forgotten all about him until your story, because I once had to go in for the whole Gatorade and laxative prep shop before a colonoscopy, and he held up the laxatives and went, "Uh oh!" like David Byrne. A lady in line behind me went to another line, I wondered what she had in her cart.

I was leaving Costco once and the lady that checks your receipt, stopped and said “that’s a good price for the stool softeners!” Then, she fished out the bottle and looked at it for a moment.

I’m usually quick witted enough to mouth off in that kind of situation, but I really was at a loss for words. I just walked away.

This thread is surprisingly hilarious!

R3--it's a bowel prep for a colonoscopy. I think that's the goal. Clear fluids the day before, 4 pm 2 tabs of Dolcolax and bottle of mag citrate, and another bottle of mag citrate 4 hours before the colonoscopy. Heavy drinking of Gatorade up to 4 hours before.

Karen, did you speak to his manager and demand he apologize AND be fired??

Agree with R3. You're overdoing it, OP. But you're probably also a ho-bag.

Even still, it's definitely not the place of the Walgreens employee to comment on customers' health woes. Inappropriate! Call the manager from your shitter, and angrily demand he be fired! Use your straining rage for something fun and productive!

At least he didn't get on the intercom for a price check.

Would you like some Depends to go with this, sir?

[quote] the lady that checks your receipt, stopped and said “that’s a good price for the stool softeners!”

Was her name Shitty Little Ann?

Never forgot years ago I was in a Walgreens and bought NoDoz and some sleep remedy, and the cashier looked at them and blurted out "Boy, you're a mess!" She then got very flustered at the look I gave her. I don't think she meant it maliciously, she's probably a Sagittarius like me and blurted out her first thought as conversation. I've done that myself more than once. It's the curse of being a Sagittarius. Hope she learned not to comment on what people are buying.

He was just trying to be nice, OP.

[quote]Use your straining rage for something fun and productive!

"Straining," R11?

With that amount of laxative he'd be "straining" NOT to piss out of his butt

LOL, funny, OP.

Had a cute Walgreens pharmacy tech last week take forever checking out a prescription. Slowly did each step, making small talk about every aspect of the process "Oh, that's a nice name. Where does that come from?" "I have a friend that lives near you." blah, blah, questions and talk. Took the wink at the end to make me realize he was one of us.

R19 did you get his number?

This all circles back ... to self-checkout.

I've never heard of someone having to buy their own prep supplies for a colonoscopy. Most doctors will prescribe Sutab pills for that.

In NYC, no cashier comments on purchases. When I visited San Francisco, I found the cashiers very chatty. At first I thought it was weird but then got used to it

I had a CVS cashier do something similar to me awhile ago. I was buying a trimmer for nose hair and when he picked it up to scan it, he said loudly, “YOU MUST BE DOING SOME PERSONAL GROOMING!”

I gave him a dirty look, paid, grabbed my shit and left.

Don't these stores teach their employees to keep their fucking mouths shut and their god damned, worthless opinions to themselves?

There was a theory some time ago that if store clerks seems more communicative to customers, we'd come back more. A few stores tried it and it was just weird. No matter where in the store I'd be, a worker would come up and start asking me whether I'm finding everything okay and blah blah blah.

I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE!

r26 The being communicative was a thing when I was working in a supermarket. TPTB wanted us to be more friendly with the customers in the hopes they'd think kindly of the company and buy more and/or more often. The overriding reason though was to thwart shoplifters. The bosses thought that if a customer knew we were sort of watching out for them, they'd think twice about snatching something. Initially we were filled with the fervor, since we were being watched but they also would occasionally hand out gift certificates to us so we'd keep up the good work.

Most of the customers felt as you do, just leave me alone and let me do what I came here to do. With some it was just an additional opportunity to piss and moan about prices, discontinued items, ineffectual help, etc. The program petered out as employees lost interest, but then so did the bosses. I hung on until the bitter end, I liked my customers since I knew so many of them. Believe me, it's easier to be a nice guy with customers, than to put them on the defensive by being bitchy/inattentive/rude. 44 years in the biz and you learn a few things.

Was anyone else expecting this to end up in a 'puny cocklet' scenario?

OP's reaction, caught on camera!

R3, a friend who hated his stepfather made him an Ice Cream Soda with citrate of magnesia and a a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

R27, years ago in San Francisco the Safeway cashiers were required to look at your receipt, find your name, and thank you, BY NAME. It took extra time and I thought it was so unnecessary. Fortunately they dropped it.

I notice the cashiers at Trader Joe’s no longer ask if you found everything. Good thing, because these days it’s 50/50 whether I’ll find any given item.

R32, If you told them you didn't find the item you were looking for, what were the cashiers supposed to do? Drop everything and run down the aisle and try and find it for you? Grovel and ask your forgiveness? Give you a consolation prize? What can the cashier do about it with 10 people waiting in line behind you?

OP, it sounds like flirting to me.

A couple of years ago, I had my first colonoscopy. I made sure to follow the prep to the letter because I had a crush on my doc, an ex-jock who played football at Clemson. I wanted to be clean as a whistle when he went up in them guts.

R31 This was definitely a thing as I was a bag boy once upon a time working at Safeway in Northern California. The Safeway I worked at was super obsessed with NOT getting negative reviews from secret shoppers who expected to be addressed by their last name on the receipt. The cashier was supposed to look at the receipt and say 'thank you Mr./Mrs. ___' and I would have to repeat that back to the customer. A few cashiers in particular would purposely not say the last name at loud and look at me knowing that I would have to say to the customer 'I'm sorry, I didn't catch your last name' so that I could repeat it back to them. This was confusing and creepy to the customer. Still gives me anxiety when I think about it.

Couldn't you report such cashiers to the Safeway SS and get them fired for not following their mandated scripts?

You think that's bad, try living in an apartment and ordering a Cologuard test kit. They plaster their giant logo all over the shipping box (which is also the box you have to ship your stool sample back in). So not only did all my neighbors see it, but I had to hand it to the UPS attendant with the look of shame.

A grocery store cashier once blurted out "Don't take this the wrong way, hon, but you look like hell." She'd scanned my groceries for years but we never exchanged more than pleasantries. It was first thing in the morning and she immediately looked mortified by what she said.

When I laughed and said it was OK, I was going to the doctor later, she thought I was just trying to make her feel better. But I was indeed ill and her assessment was accurate.

I was at a Walgreen's and the cashier said "it's your lucky day! Senior discount day. 20%!"

I was 47!!

[quote]A grocery store cashier once blurted out "Don't take this the wrong way, hon, but you look like hell."

When I was a kid, my mom took my sister and me to the state fair, where she had a carny guess her age. She had just turned 40, but he guessed 55. When she told him he was wrong, he shot back, "Lady, whatever you're doin', you need to stop it, because it's killin' ya."

When I was in my early 20s, and freshly living on my own, I went to, now defunct, Cub Foods, and among other things, I was buying boneless, skinless chicken breasts. The cashier said, "honey, you are wasting your money. Bone in chicken breasts are on sale, you take these back, and get some of them. You just cut the bones out when you get home." I'll hold the line.

I sheepishly went back to the poultry section, put back my lovely boneless chicken, and went back up with my bone in chicken breasts. I made my way back to her as the people in line glared at me.

I cut myself multiple times trying to debone them, and wasted a lot of the meat. I did not own an appropriate knife at 22. I am better at it now, but pretty much feel like my time is worth more than the price difference between bone-in and deboned chicken when I need boneless.

Tell the cashier to fuck off and mind their own business

OP, every last last bit of inconvenience, embarrassment, humiliation, and indignity you may endure for the "prep" process and during the colonoscopy procedure itself is a walk in the park compared with having advanced colorectal cancer. Trust me.

Yes, 45 IS the new 50, as it should be. Sometime after age 48, I had the shits. Uncontrollable. Bloody. Felt like there was an alien up my ass somewhere, and it was growing. It would come and go. The incompetent gay doc on my shitty health plan (Kaiser) insisted I had an STD and did several rounds of antibiotics that lasted for months each. Meanwhile, my symptoms grew worse. It was grotesque, and I didn't want to talk about it, except with the doctors, who were dismissive.

Colon cancer was not on my radar. I knew nothing about it. Because I wasn't yet 50, it apparently wasn't on theirs. Was in agony -- sometimes spent weeks in bed, going to the toilet every half hour, despite that I stopped eating. At age 50, I got notice that I was due for a colonoscopy. They couldn't get the fucking camera up my rectum due to a blockage. That led to a CT scan which revealed that I now had a tumor the size of a "tangerine". I had advanced colorectal cancer with a metastasis to a kidney. A four-year odyssey, two colon resectionings, a colotomy bag for a year, then an ileostomy bag, a total of 4 major surgeries, and I survived (am almost 4 years out). Am lucky that they were eventually able to reconnect the guts. I had changed jobs, and found myself with profoundly better insurance and a better team of providers.

I'll never forget the embarrassment I felt about my first trip (which would become over a dozen) to Walgreen's in SF for bowel prep supplies. That was child's play.

At my lowest point in terms of desperation and humiliation, I had to lay on my side on some sort of giant x-ray table that looked like a dance floor from Hell in a room full of medical staff and observant med students with clipboards. while a cute, kind, silver daddy radiologist (clearly gay) was trying to shove a leaking barium enema up my ass with that painful tumor causing resistance. I was wearing a paper gown, which had basically torn away and dissolved. The radiologist said, "I'm sorry I'm causing pain". I said, "Look, I've dated truck drivers, let's git 'er done!". Some of the med students were stunned, while some were hiding their faces behind their clipboards, trying to hold back on choking to death with laughter. At that moment, I was cured of my shame.

Colorectal cancer is the third cause of cancer deaths in the US. It is so easily curable -- if detected early.

OP, wishing you good luck with your first colonoscopy!

R44, I absolutely agree with you on this and thank you for sharing your experience. 45 is the new 50 is exactly what my primary care doctor told me as well a couple years ago. I'm kind of shocked hearing that some insurance providers would even deny coverage to get a colonoscopy until you're 50.

[quote] A lady in line behind me went to another line, I wondered what she had in her cart.

Gin and a TV Guide

[quote]The radiologist said, "I'm sorry I'm causing pain". I said, "Look, I've dated truck drivers, let's git 'er done!"

I'm sorry for your struggles r44. I recently had to see a proctologist for an internal hemorrhoid and had recently started dating a new guy. And I had decided that despite the fact that I'm a top, I wanted to bottom for this guy. So when the doc (who I suspect is gay, but don't know for sure) came in I said, I have a question-should I ask now or at the end? He said go ahead, so I told him what I was planning and asked how long I had to wait and he was totally cool. He said wait three weeks, use lots of lube, go slow, you'll be fine. Then the exam starts and the small scope goes up my ass and he asks "So is this going to be an ongoing thing?" And I suddenly felt such a sharp pain that I gasped and through little yelps managed "it's...ow...maybe just a one time thing. Ow. But then again...ow ow OW!!...maybe we won't do it after all".

I walked out of their and was like, yep, I'm a top. I'll never be able to bottom.

And that scope was TINY! At first I thought it was probably some monster dildo sized telescope. I saw it on the tray after and it was the size of a toothbrush!

[quote]Couldn't you report such cashiers to the Safeway SS and get them fired for not following their mandated scripts?

I wish I would have thought of that as a young gayling.

He should have said cheerfully, "Happy dumping, sir!"

You should eat a more proper diet and you wouldn't need all that stuff.

r50, I hope you're being sarcastic and that you realize what an actual prep for a colonoscopy entails.

[quote] Oh! I see what's going on here

So what he thought is going on with you? Douching?

Stealth scat thread!

r47, a small medical instrument or toy, if inserted at anything other than just the right angle for you, and you're not all hosed out nice n clean with a shower attachment enema, can hurt like hell. You also need to be lubed up and stretched out with your own finger(s) to get comfortable before anything or anyone goes there..

There are a million nerve endings in the anus, rectum.... and OMFG, the Prostate! Heaven on Earth!

Would never have discovered my prostate and the joys of anal sex had it not been for a very experienced, older, and eager top who was totally into me.

Don’t load up on food before. I ate soup and jello for two days prior. Didn’t even need to use all of the prep supplies.

[quote]Didn’t even need to use all of the prep supplies.

Yeah. While you were under you doctor was all "Ah, Jesus! Another one. Gross."

I will be able to eat Jello the day before. I stocked up on a couple non-red flavors---pineapple and mango.

[quote]Couldn't you report such cashiers to the Safeway SS and get them fired for not following their mandated scripts?

The asshole secret shoppers will write it into their reports, which are often posted in staff areas for everyone to snicker at.

While in college, a female friend accompanied me to the store to buy condoms.

When the cashier handed me my change, she said with a blush, “Have a good time!”

Female friend summoned a smutty tone and, with a wink, said, “oh, don’t worry. He will!”

The point? Who cares what the cashier says?

Speaking of bowel, what's the best/safest stool softener?

Kiss Your Hemorrhoids Good Bye

R47, Office Manager said to his staff, "Do you know why I'd rather be a proctologist than work here? Because he only deals with one asshole at a time."

"what's the best/safest stool softener?"

A healthy diet.

R56 "Ugh, another goddamn fruit! Why did I become a butt doctor?"

I was in line once and the guy ahead of my was buying a sympathy card and condoms. I said to my friend on what o thought was a low voice “some ones going for a sympathy fuck”. He heard me and gave me stink eye. The cashier laughed after he stormed off.

I've never heard of having to buy your own supplies for a colonoscopy. Your doctor's office calls in a prescription for pills at the pharmacy and that's it.