Why is every guy on Scruff or Grindr into fetishes?

I'm pretty sexually vanilla, so underwear and ass slapping is enough for me. Maybe pulling my forearm across a man's throat while I fuck him from behind. That could be hot. But "pup play" is extremely cringeworthy, and completely unsexy.

[quote]'m pretty sexually vanilla, so underwear and ass slapping is enough for me.

These things are actually hot to me. I guess they're vanilla fetishes?

I'll never get why foot fetishes are so widespread now. Why that body part?

"Why is every guy on Scruff or Grindr into fetishes?"

Because if they wanted vanilla sex they would stay home with the misses

Because they watch too much porn. Porn has to keep pushing boundaries to remain interesting, and a lot of people have trouble telling the difference between porn and real life.

I was never into extreme porn. I'll watch bdsm or roleplay. None of the stuff like foot fetishes, food, fisting, shit, golden showers, diapers, puppy play, blood sucking, etc. Most hoes on Grindr are mentally ill and drugged out.

Because it's still somewhat socially taboo to announce within 10 minutes of meeting someone that you like to have a fist rammed up your ass or have a partner piss into your mouth.

Scruff and Grindr are solely intended to hookup for sex, so being upfront with your specific requirements is absolutely essential.

It has nothing to do with more people having fetishes. It is a skewed sample who use those sites to find quick sex efficiently, especially when your tastes run to more extreme pursuits.

From Randy Shilts' And the Band Played On, published 35 years ago, writing about a young man's visit to Bulldog Baths, then the world's largest gay bathhouse:

"Kico Govantes thought maybe the man standing between the legs of the guy in the sling was an amputee. Maybe he was just rubbing his stump next to the guy’s butt.

“He does have an arm up his ass,” Kico’s friend said. "That’s fist-fucking."

“Oh,” Kico said.

Knowing the words for the acts didn’t help him fathom the meaning of what he was seeing. Where was the affection? he wondered. Where was the interaction of mind and body that creates a meaningful sexual experience? It was as if these people, who had been made so separate from society by virtue of their sexuality, were now making their sexuality utterly separate from themselves. Their bodies were tools through which they could experience physical sensation.

The complete focus on the physical aspect of sex meant constantly devising new, more extreme sexual acts because the experience relied on heightened sensory rather than emotional stimulation."

And here we are today.

daddy issues

Because they're sex addicts chasing a high.

They're sex addicts. If you have sex with at least five different men every week, often five at one time, it's bound to get monotonous and uninteresting. They still crave the sex but they want it to be weird so that there's some kind of excitement. Same reason soft drugs often lead to hard drugs and ODs.

R11 still believes that the devil marijuana is a gateway drug

[quote] "These things are actually hot to me. I guess they're vanilla fetishes?"

Compared to a lot of things people are into, I'd say yes. They are. But that doesn't make them any less exciting.

bump

Jaded whores.

R8... i had no idea that book had such insight. Is it a blip or is it all like that?

[Quote]Because it's still somewhat socially taboo to announce within 10 minutes of meeting someone that you like to have a fist rammed up your ass or have a partner piss into your mouth.

We have a winner! Those who aren't looking for extreme kinks go on other apps, or meet in bars and other activities. If you're looking to be a no-loads-rejected cumdump, you go on grindr, scruff, and other related apps.

Why do people always judge? I don’t care what other people do in the consensual confines of the dungeon.

[quote]Why do people always judge? I don’t care what other people do in the consensual confines of the dungeon.

While you're entitled to engage in whatever consensual acts you want, since people are the sum of their parts, all we have to gauge whether someone is a person with whom you wish to expend time and effort is a bunch of leading indicators of their views of the world, their sense of "right" and "wrong" and whether their moral compass points the same direction yours does.

Do I care whether you're taking raw loads all weekend long - not really. Do I believe that such behavior is a leading indicator of other personality and behavioral attitudes and traits that have nothing to do with sex - ABSOLUTELY.

I like frottage, which not many people seem to get into (at least I don't see it mentioned much on the apps). But that's about as "fetishy" as I get.

[quote]Why do people always judge?

Where does this notion come from that your choice prohibits everybody else thinking it's stupid?

R20 yes frot is nice - and safe too, at least safer than most other things

I enjoy just cuddling and also like giving guys massages, and I'm pretty good at it

[quote]Why do people always judge?

I'm actually trying not to judge. Most fetishes are fine in the abstract and I'm not here to scold or shame people, but this is an observation from me as a slightly elder gay. Fetishes are far more normalized than they were even 10 years ago, and on the apps, they appear to be the predominant sexual interest. It used to be that if anyone was explicit about their sexual interests at all, it was simply top or bottom or anal or oral. Not piss, arm pits, fisting and sounding.

Actually, I will judge you if you're into fisting or sounding. Or scat. Or bestiality. Or diapers/"age play," which is just role playing pedophilia. To me these indicate mental illness, and their normalization are disturbing to me.

Who knew DL is full of prudish, vanilla-sex whiners.

I made the mistake once of saying in public "Well everyone likes a little verbal degradation."

[quote]Who knew DL is full of prudish, vanilla-sex whiners.

Well given the frequency around here of that typical cliche, apparently just you.

But the fact is, it isn't. They're called functioning adults. It's never too late.

Bare (CLEAN) feet on a hot man is sexy. Hell, ordinary guys with nice feet get a second look, especially in jeans. 😜

[quote]I'll never get why foot fetishes are so widespread now. Why that body part?

Scientists have explained this so many times that even I know the answer, so completely in laymen's terms: the part of the brain that controls your sex drive is right next to the part of the brain that controls your feet. The neurons excited by sex spill over and sexualize feet. I know it's far more complicated than that, but there it is.

[quote] Well given the frequency around here of that typical cliche, apparently just you. But the fact is, it isn't. They're called functioning adults. It's never too late.

Ah, nice try. I could really care less what sex acts adults do, as long as it's legal, consensual and fairly reasonable. Fetishes and sexual sub-communities are nothing new. Various sex acts and expressions have evolved all throughout human history. Also, not all fetish stuff has to do with unsafe sex. Newsflash, you can engage in many things while keeping it safe and monogamous. When you educate yourself about these things, then you have less to fear. You know, like "functioning adults". It's never too late buddy.

Actually, R29, the basis for my decision is the same as you describe. I just judged you for being a snide dick, instead of everybody who might not agree.

R30 That's not the take you think it is. LOL!

I like slave play. I dress-up as a Southern belle and hire a BBC escort to 'come in from the fields' and ravish me.

Bump

OP, it’s the guys in your area.

Gringo gays used to be so precious in this regard, I'm glad they're starting to embrace their naughtier and messier side, it's healthier for the whole community and the society in general. The Vanilla Squad needs to shut the hell up, sit their asses down and prepare for shoulder-deep fisting, sans lube.

R34