My Friend Julie is SUCH a Cunt, 2022 edition

Julie is donating to Ron DeSantis’campaign. Anyone but Trump, she says.

My friend Julie told James Caan, "You know your son is a big old closeted fruitbasket, don't you? ... Jim, why are you clutching your chest like that?"

My friend Julie went over to Beanie Feldstein’s apartment this afternoon. She took a box of Cinnabon rolls and hot chocolate. She said “Hey Fat Beans - shove over - We’re going to watch some You Tubes of Lea Michele singing ‘DON’t Rain on My Parade.” An hour later Beanie called in sick. Hee, Hee - my friend Julie is SUCH a Cunt!

My friend Julie told Lens Dunham, "I can't decide which looks best — why don't you post pictures of you wearing both bathing suits?"

And you have the nerve to call me a cunt!

My friend Julie told Brittney Griner, "You'd better bring your own hash oil to Russia -- it's hard to find there."

My friend Julie said, "J-Lo, you really should give Ben another chance."

My friend Julie told Muriel, “Lock them out of their favorite threads. They’ll pay up for sure.”

My friend Julie is SUCH a cunt -she blows all the SCOTUS men, and licks Amy Cunty Barrett's pussy. And then she defends Ted Cruz!

(Even Julie wouldn't sink so low as to suck his tiny cocklette.)

My friend Julie told Naomi Judd, "Your audiences will question your commitment to the Second Amendment if you don't have a firearm in the house!"

She told Putin, “Ukrainians just need to be told what to do. They love you. They NEED you.”

Julie goes around telling teenage incels to buy assault rifles and assert themselves...

Julie sent Sen. Manchin a telegram “You do you. STOP”

She sweet-talked her dear friend Dr. Fauci into loaning her a vial of monkey pox virus, promising she would NEVER open the seal. She said she wanted it for her great-niece’s show and tell. She doesn’t even have a great-niece.

My friend Julie told Trump, "No, don't pull a Kennedy 1960, you get out there and let people know this election was stolen. You owe to yourself and to the American people."

My friend Julie told Madison Cawthorn, "Put on this lingerie and we'll take pictures! It'll be a BLAST!"

My friend Julie told Bob Saget, "Bobby, it's just a bump on the head. Get a good night's sleep and you'll be fine."

My friend Julie picked our Emmy submission episodes for the final season of This Is Us. C U Next Tuesday, I said.

My friend Julie suggest Dexter Mayfield to the editor of OUT Magazine for their swimsuit cover.

She told Steve Bannon—“Don’t listen to those fools—you look great!”

Bump

My friend Julie told Kobe Bryant, "Weather this weekend looks PERFECT for a helicopter ride!"

My friend Julie introduced her friend Megan to Harry.

Julie has been going from store to store hoarding all the sriracha sauce and reselling it on Ebay for insane prices. "Remember when I made a fortune on all that hand sanitizer and toilet paper in the good old days of Covid?" she said.

I hate her.

Bitch owes me money!

Julie was the first person to change her pronouns to they/them.

Julie got booted off of Tiktok for posting videos of herself lighting her farts and shouting, "global warming never felt so good!"

Julie voted Republican

Julie definitely had a hand in overturning Roe v. Wade. She told Clarence Thomas ,"My mom almost had me aborted, and shit, just look at how wonderful I turned out."

My friend Julie told Uvalde Police Chief Pete Arredondo, "For God's sake, don't make any sudden moves! You might spook him!"

Julie erased all the Secret Service texts from January 6th and earlier. She was smiling and kept singing the lyric, "bye-bye-miss-american-pie" as she scrubbed them from the server during the "upgrade."

Julie ate all my Frusen Glädjé!

Shouldn’t this be “I hate my friend Julie?”

My friend Julie told President Biden, "Don't worry about it. I've just got a runny nose from seasonal allergies. Come sit next to me."

My friend Julie told Rosita at Sesame Place, "You don't have to high-five EVERY child you see."

Julie told Carole Radziwill to start talking "hep" on Twitter. "Kids love that shit, AND you can pass for 19!"

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

My friend Julie told Tony Dow's wife, "I'm sorry ... he's gone."

In 2011 my friend Julie told me not to buy property in Phoenix saying it is a desert there and you will never get your money out of it.

Julie took Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema out to Red Lobster last night. (Julie doesn't like Ruth's Chris Steak House because of the whole Claire thing) It does have me wondering what the fuck she's up to.

My friend Julie told Joe Biden, "Congratulations about getting over COVID!" *koff koff koff*

That fucking cunt, Julie, told me to buy my Mega ticket in Indiana.

I was at the Speedway in Des Plaines and the bitch said, "Oh, you can't win here. Go to Gary!"

My friend Julie told Aaron Sorkin, "As for Lucy, two words: Nicole. Kidman."

I heard Julie’s job as Director of Fundraising at The Prince’s Trust might be in jeopardy. Despite bringing in a record £53,024,000 last year, she created a PR nightmare by soliciting donations from her dear friends the bin Ladens, Vladimir Putin, Ghislaine Maxwell, Anders Breivik, R Kelly, and Jameela Jamil.

My ex-friend Julie is SUCH a cunt -she goes around telling people that Monkey Pox is a sexually-transmitted infection that only spreads through gay sex.

Julie thinks it's high time Gwyneth Paltrow gets another acting Oscar.

Among the texts accidentally sent to the lawyers for the Sandy Hook parents was the following:

"Dearest Alex, deny everything. Words don't mean anything and truth is whatever you want it to be. Just in case, put all your assets into bankruptcy protection. Love you, Julie."

cunt bump for Julie

“Will, you’re just gonna sit there like a little bitch? Be a man & get up on that stage! Show Chris you’re the boss!”

My friend Julie told Anne Heche, "Why waste money on an Uber? You're fine!"

Julie uses the word "yummy" a lot.

Julie is absolutely giddy because pumpkin spice season is just around the corner. She won't shut up about it.

My friend Julie told Barbra Streisand, “Of course you are glamorous and sexy enough to play a prostitute.”

Julie told Pete Davidson he should go ahead and quit SNL this season, because once he and Kim are married he’ll never need to work again.

Julie was seen with Olivia Newton-John and told her dying on August 8th was a good day because nothing happening in Florida would ever upstage her.

Julie went up to Alaska and said, "The people need you back in politics, Sarah!"

I finally called Julie a cunt to her face and she face slapped me so hard that she broke one of my teeth.

“Rinna, you know who really killed your mom? Sutton Stracke.”

Julie has been in Jackson, Mississippi all week telling everyone that it's safe to drink the tap water without boiling it first. "If you're worried, just add a couple drops of bleach beforehand and you'll be fine."

My friend Julie told Britney Jean to get on social media and read those two ungrateful crotch fruit of hers for filth just to show the world what a great mother Britney is.

Julie works in marketing for Truth Social. Enough said.

Julie is going to play the Beggar Woman in Sweeney Todd on B*R*O*A*D*W*A*Y!

Julie sent Chrissy Metz two dozen donuts telling her to just use her willpower and have only one a day.

I haven’t talked to that cunt Julie all week; she’s at the Venice Film Festival, doing PR for Don’t Worry Darling

My friend Julie said, "You really should get an Instagram account".

To Madonna.

My friend Julie is volunteering for Dr. Oz’s campaign for Senate. She told him everyone in Pennsylvania believes it’s not incest unless you’re first cousins or closer. What an idiot he is for listening to that hateful cooze!

My friend Julie took Lea Michele to lunch today and said, "You were a triumph and singlehandedly saved a multi-million dollar Broadway show! But, Lea — why are you still kissing the asses of all the little people behind the scenes?"

My friend Julie told Sara Porkalob, "Why are you letting Lea Michele get all the buzz? You're the REAL toast of Broadway!"

My friend Julie told Kanye, "Don't bite your tongue--tell the world exactly what you think as you think it! Especially about the Jews!"

I got a postcard from my friend, Julie. She's working in London as an advisor to Liz Truss...

My friend Julie wrote the script for Halloween Ends.

Julie encouraged all her male Hispanic friends in Stockton to take walks late night walks.

My friend Julie told Billy Eichner, "You're absolutely right as to why no one came to see your wonderful movie, and you should speak out about it! Slay, KWEEN!"

My friend Julie told Angela Lansbury, "Oh, have another line, for Chrissakes! Once you make it past 85, your risk of an OD actually goes DOWN!"

My friend Julie told Karen Carpenter, "That neck bone showing through your skin makes your ass look fat. Eat less."

My friend Julie advised the Fed to raise interest rates to curb inflation...

My friend Julie told Kathy Hilton to start a conga line at the club. “But you know what the cherry on top would be? Do it to Billie Jean! I’m sure the gay DJ would love to play it for you—go request it.”

My friend Julie told Danielle Harris and Scout Taylor-Compton, "Jamie Lee Curtis said she really wanted to meet you! Just go up to her and introduce yourselves."

My friend Julie talked Gary Morton into talking Lucille Ball out of playing Emma Goldman in "Reds," which would have given her the Oscar that Maureen Stapleton received, and Stapleton didn't even have red hair.

My friend Julie told Meghan Markle she was pretty but the spray tan looked fake.

That's why Julie is my friend even though she's a cunt.

My friend Julie gives out Nancy Pelosi's home address to anyone who asks. She's such a cunt!

Julie introduced Matthew Perry to four or five of the doctors who prescribed his Vicodin. “Don’t worry, the camera adds 10 pounds,” she kept saying as he withered down to a skeletal 128.

My friend Julie told Aaron Carter that a warm bath is soothing.

My friend Julie told Marlo Thomas that people only respect you if you act like a cunt. So Marlo cunted.

Julie told the Powerball reps that no one was buying tickets, so don’t bother to air the draw on time.

Julie votes Republican.

My friend Julie gave me herpes. She's such a cunt.

My friend Julie is such a cunt. She convinced the Democrats to put money behind the most extreme Republican candidates in the primaries.

They will be so easy to beat in Roevember, she said.

My friend Julie told Elon Musk, "Just charge them $8 a month and you'll make back that $44 billion in no time! Everyone loves you!"

My friend Julie's twin sister is running for governor in Arizona.

My friend Julie is SUCH a cunt she was invited to be one of Tiffany's bridesmaids.

My friend Julie told Lana Turner not to let that Jane Wyman push her around and to take charge of that Falcon Crest set.

My friend Julie told Andrew Garfield to take off his shirt and post for GQ.

You know, sometimes she's not as big a cunt as I thought she was!

Her pussy stinks!

My friend Julie doesn't think there's any reason to lock the front door at our house. She says it's safe here in Idaho and besides there's always people coming and going and having to let people in is just a pain.

My friend Julie is such a cunt they make chowder out of her bathwater.

Julie told me that I need to be more like her good friend Martha and get a Medicare Advantage Plan.

She's such a cunt.

My friend, Julie, is such a cunt -she advised FIFA that armbands would just be too controversial.

My friend Julie told Drumpf that there's a clause in the Constitution that allows him to suspend it when things don't go they way he feels they should.

That Julie is such a cunt -she works for Elon, deciding which users to ban and whom to fire.

Guess who designed the Trump NFT cards?

My friend Julie prayed that the entire U.S. get blizzard-level weather on Christmas Eve.

r102 Good luck with that, Jools (and God.)

Forecast for SoCal (Sat.-Sun.): sunny and mid-70s

My friend Julie is such a cunt. She told Donald Trump, "If you want people to really take you seriously again, start a line of digital collector cards. . .like this one here, featuring stolen artwork of an astronaut with your face superimposed on it. The Libs will quake, Donald!"

My friend Julie is such a cunt. She gave Twitch a ride to the motel.

My cunt friend Julie likes to put used coffee grounds, chicken bones and banana peels inside paper bags, hand them to panhandlers and say, "Here's a sandwich and some chips."

Seriously, what kind of cunt does such a thing?

Julie was George Santos' campaign manager. 'nuff said.

My friend Julie whispered in Barbara Walters' ear, "I don't know if you can hear me, but Diane Sawyer now tops the list of America's most beloved news personalities."

Julie told Natalie Wood it was fine to walk around on the boat. RJ and Chris were just wrestling! Yeah, that's it, wrestling.

She also told Nat that the water was shallow. Fine for a dip!

Julie was an academic adviser to Brian Kohberger. She told him if you want to study crime, STUDY CRIME.

Julie advised Southwest Airlines to quit spending all that time and money on their IT systems. Passengers don't care about computer software! They care about the human touch when they fly!

My friend Julie is SUCH a Cunt. Somehow she convinced my 73 year old mother that today, February 9, 2023, would be the perfect day to finally call me, her son (age 53), her only child, the only person that gives a shit about her, who does anything for her, a fag. A fucking fag. A fucking queer fag. "You fucking queer fag."

When you cunt, Julie, you really cunt.

My friend Julie told Madonna, "Darling, you look great but you might want to consider a little glow-up before the Grammys — those high-definition cameras capture every tiny wrinkle."

My friend Julie told me I should treat my husband to a balloon ride for our 50th anniversary. She said one of those huge white balloons that float over the ocean would be the perfect present and it would be a ride he'd never forget.

I hate that lying cunt!

My friend Jill thinks Wade Robeson and Jimmy Safechuck should be lucky to be molested by Michael Jackson since that's the only sex they'll ever get.

My friend Julie told r115, "No, my name is Jill."

Julie "accidentally" knocked over the $42,000 “Balloon Dog” sculpture by artist Jeff Koons.

Cunt.

My friend Julie told Jamie Lee Curtis, "Darling, it would be selfish at this point to deny the world the MOST OF YOU."

[quote]Two major installations by leading artist Do Ho Suh were damaged during an after-hours event on Monday night at the Museum of Contemporary Art Australia in Sydney. The works were damaged during an event sponsored by Bloomberg, one of the MCA’s corporate partners. The guest reportedly knocked into the work, bringing down two of the doors in the intricately constructed installation.

JULIE STRIKES AGAIN.

Julie insisted that seeing Greece by rail was THE ONLY WAY to experience it.

That cunt should die!

Update 2023:

Julie emailed DeSantis and told him to try to outlaw the Democrats in Florida. He took her advice. She had told him, “The Democrats were the ones who backed slavery, after all!”

My friend Julie is such a cunt, she convinced me to buy a home in East Palestine.

Much friend Julie is such a stupid cunt. Here it is more than 60 days into 2023 and she's still thinks it's 2022.

My friend Julie told Casey DeSantis, "A heavy eyebrow would really work on you!"

My friend Julie told Lizzo, "Your dancers deserve a treat, and darn it, you're in Amsterdam — one of the nightlife capitals of the world!"

My friend Julie told Billy Porter, "Now that you've made it, the money's ALWAYS going to be rolling in! You deserve to treat your fabulous self!"

Julie told someone to cut down the tree at Sycamore Gap in Northumberland. She said, "aren't you sick and tired of looking at that stupid tree? I know I am."