I’m breaking up with my boyfriend Sunday.

How does he feel about cod and prunes?

Too soon?

How are his sexual skills?

Why do lighten his life a couple days early?

Asshole troll.

In what ways are you not great?

🤔... Ok, send him over, I could use a doormat

I'm flatuent, selfish and overweight.

[quote]How are his sexual skills?

Excellent. 5 stars.

Do you include that in your Grindr profile r6?

[quote]I'm flatuent, selfish and overweight.

Aw, thank you! 🤗. I feel seen.

[quote]In what ways are you not great?

I’m just not. I’m not a a good boyfriend. I don’t want to be in a relationship. Maybe there’s someone out there for me, but he’s not the one. But he should be someone’s “one”. He deserves it.

[quote]We have tickets to two things this weekend and I still want him to go with me.

If you don’t care for guy let him go. You must be a real asshole to think up something like that.

How do you find the strength to carry on?

You're a whore, aren't you OP. Just admit it

[quote]. I hope we can still be friends.

don't that's just insulted to your soon-to-be ex

You’re breaking up with a non existent BF?

Verificatia?

Well, I am looking for boy friend. I have been looking all my life and here you are just giving up a chance to be with someone.

Do you have unrealistic expectations, r17?

R18 Not really, but mostly I think I am not ready to settle.

Has he had his shots? Is he housebroken?

ha! people do this all the time. see: vanentine's, xmas, etc.

His name is Sunday?

Does this mean no more take out fried chicken, OP?

[Quote]We have tickets to two things this weekend

1. Ride the subway to Walmart

2. Ride the subway back home to Brownsville

Is Walmart a euphemism for his hole?

And Brownsville for one after you pull out?

And the whole subway thing.

.....

I’M an asshole for not wanting to ruin his weekend and making him sad and possibly making him miss two things he’s been looking forward to?

Fine. You’re all ungrateful swine. I’ll just put him on Craigslist.

[quote]How do you find the strength to carry on?

With love and support from you guys. And cocaine.

[quote]You’re breaking up with a non existent BF?

Yes, and it has me totally stressed out because he never answers his phone unless it’s to say “Psychiatric Unit? Is this an emergency?” I never see him. I mean, I’ve never seen him. We don’t have sex and I’ve never been to his place. So OBVIOUSLY I’m breaking up with him.

His name is Glass. George Glass. Anyone ever heard of him? Met him? Have any picture of him they could share with me?

Oh please, OP. You're saying you're not good enough for him? He deserves better? After a nice weekend with him, you'll tell him it's over? You are so very, very cruel and you'll justify this by saying he's too good for you?

[quote]Oh please, OP. You're saying you're not good enough for him? He deserves better? After a nice weekend with him, you'll tell him it's over? You are so very, very cruel and you'll justify this by saying he's too good for you?

People break up all the time and it doesn’t mean I’m cruel. It’s because I have issues. I don’t feel like I deserve him, and that makes me feel unloved (in a way I could never explain) and I want to do the things we planned that he’s looking forward to (riding the bus back and forth to Walmart) and not ruin that for him. But if I’m cruel, he DOES deserve better, and that’s something I’m sure we can agree on.

You should wait and dump him on Christmas.

[quote]Does this mean no more take out fried chicken, OP?

Of course not! As long as Popeye’s sells a two piece with a biscuit and a side, there will always be takeout chicken.

[quote]You should wait and dump him on Christmas.

Well if I did, it would be after he opened the gifts I got him, because I clearly am a people pleaser who hates to disappoint.

[quote]Well, I am looking for boy friend. I have been looking all my life and here you are just giving up a chance to be with someone.

I told you he’ll be free after 4. Send your resume and a headshot and I’ll see what I can do.

[quote]You're a whore, aren't you OP. Just admit it.

Whores put out for money. The most I’ve ever put out for is half a fro-yo, but most of the time I’m just giving it away for free. And just to him. So, no, I’m not a whore. I’m a snake. 🐍

Is this on your iPod?

But do you gotta snake? 🐍

Is this on your iPod?

Is he a top or bottom? How big is his cock? How much does he make yearly? What region do you guys live in?

Does he take credit cards?

When is his birthday?

[quote]Is he a top or bottom? How big is his cock? How much does he make yearly? What region do you guys live in

Top. Big. $140k. West.

[quote]Does he take credit cards?

🤷🏻 He has Venmo.

[quote]When is his birthday?

Novembruary 34th. Nineteen-sixty-eleven.

Not North?

I simply meant to suggest you hold the breakup until his birthday so as not to ruin the big weekend.

Break up with him immediately OP. You're the worst thing that's ever happened to him

To R44, you live in Cailfornia, I'm in La Jolla and travel alot now. If he is available, I need a FB #3(for travel reasons) Please let me know, I can afford him. Thanks You so much, Phillywhore

[quote]I simply meant to suggest you hold the breakup until his birthday so as not to ruin the big weekend.

Yes. I’m could get him a cake and in front of all of his friends, bring it out and it’ll say “It’s over. HAPPY BIRTHDAY’l

[quote]Break up with him immediately OP. You're the worst thing that's ever happened to him.

I swear, it’s my break up. I’m hurt by this too despite making sarcastic replies. But I seriously think some of you are taking this harder than I am. And that’s just weird.

Hi OP. I'm 60 look 65, big fupa, micropenis, hairy back, into cuddling and dirty play. Would your ex be into me?

[quote]To [R44], you live in Cailfornia, I'm in La Jolla and travel alot now. If he is available, I need a FB #3(for travel reasons) Please let me know, I can afford him. Thanks You so much, Phillywhore.

We’re not that far west. And I’m not *selling* him. I’m offering him. But send me your PayPal info and let’s talk offline.

Is this in north?

Troll

He clearly said it’s in West. Pay attention.

R51 No. What's weird is pimping out your soon to be ex-boyfriend (who doesn't even know he's your soon to be ex-boyfriend) on a thread in the Data Lounge

My Boyfriend Sunday sounds like a YA novel.

[quote]Hi OP. I'm 60 look 65, big fupa, micropenis, hairy back, into cuddling and dirty play. Would your ex be into me?

No, but I might. 😉

I want a Sunday kind of love.

Your reasoning sounds like that of a straight man, OP.

[quote][R51] No. What's weird is pimping out your soon to be ex-boyfriend (who doesn't even know he's your soon to be ex-boyfriend) on a thread in the Data Lounge.

I’m not seriously giving away my ex. C’mon! How would I even do that? God, especially not to anyone on this site!! Get real!

Can you imagine coming home from work to find this on your partner’s computer, lol?

OP, no one wants your cooties-infested leftovers...

It’s on my phone, r63. But just in case, nobody mention this to him, m’kay?

Who wants to wager that the boyfriend's immediate response will be, "Wait -- what? Were we dating?"

Hi, I'm the boyfriend. I already found someone else to take to those two things...

Bye, Felicia 🙋‍♂️

Hopefully he dumps you first….and gives you an incurable STI.

R60 A love to last past Saturday night.

[quote]Your reasoning sounds like that of a straight man, OP.

Your reasoning sounds like that of an idiot, OP.

Well, I offered and you all had your chance, but the deals off the table now.

Is he bigger than you?

[quote]Hopefully he dumps you first….and gives you an incurable STI.

Why would you wish an incurable STI on him? He didn’t do anything.

[quote]Is he bigger than you?

We’re the same size. Can share clothes. Why? Are you hoping he beats me up? He’s stronger than I am, but I’m faster and sneakier.

[quote] Your reasoning sounds like that of an idiot, OP.

Aw, thank you!’ 🤗

Are the tickets to one of those classy hotel brunches?

Here OP.

Op reminds me of an asshole ex I had. I believed the relationship was going well because he acted like it was. Then his birthday came and he said “don’t buy us tickets for anything going on in a few months…in case something happens.” After that the ASSHOLE in him came out.

[quote]Are the tickets to one of those classy hotel brunches?

A taco truck fest and a concert.

I’m sorry that happened to you r78. I’m not stringing him along. We’ve never even said I love you to one another and I do love him. I don’t know if he loves me. I don’t want to hurt him. I decided we need to break up Friday and we already had tickets, and I didn’t want to ruin that for him so I’m waiting til the end of the weekend. And I posted it here because it’s anonymous and holding on to something like that even for two days sucks and I needed to unload. And I love all the hateful comments. They make me more determined to not want to hurt him.

People that are married can spend months planning a divorce behind their spouse’s back before delivering the papers. This is two days.

But I am really sorry that that happened to you. I wouldn’t want it happening to me and I don’t think that’s what I’m doing. I want to end our intimate relationship as peacefully and harmoniously as possible. That’s it. It causes me more sadness than happiness and it’s not him that’s doing it, it’s me. I’m making myself miserable by being with him. So I just want to be alone and get some therapy and figure out why I ended a good relationship and that’s it. And obviously I’m not just gonna say “bye”, we’re going to talk about it.

Clearly, R74.

Tacos are good.

I don’t know if anyone has ever felt this way, but when you have a great time with your boyfriend, and then you leave and get home and cry about it because it just doesn’t feel right and you don’t know what’s wrong but you know that it’s you, it seems like it’s time to break up.

R83, it usually means you want to start having sex with someone else - often someone higher on the food chain, but not necessarily.

Go slum it with some hot enlisted guys to clear your head.

[quote][R83], it usually means you want to start having sex with someone else - often someone higher on the food chain, but not necessarily.

I really don’t. Well, Jake Gyllenhaal, but that’s not going to happen. And if it did, I’d probably still feel awful and then I’d being posting “Im breaking up with Jake Gyllenhaal Sunday” and half of Datalounge would be like “you’re a terrible person, just end it now”.

But I’d bet I get a lot more takers if I offered JG up.

"riding the bus back and forth to Walmart"

I'm sorry. Is this for real? Are you guys really old or disabled or something? It's cool if you are, but I don't see how this is normally a special thing to do that you'd like forward to.

[quote]”riding the bus back and forth to Walmart”. I'm sorry. Is this for real? Are you guys really old or disabled or something? It's cool if you are, but I don't see how this is normally a special thing to do that you'd like forward to.

No! It was something r24 posted and I joked about. It was a taco truck fest and a concert. I don’t even know how to ride the bus in my city. It’s confusing as fuck and I feel for the little old gay couples who are headed to Walmart on the bus. I’d offer them a ride, but then two days later I’d probably say “I’m sorry. This isn’t going to work out. It’s not you, it’s me. You’ll have to take the bus.”

I’ve never been to a taco truck festival, are they fun?

[quote]I’ve never been to a taco truck festival, are they fun?

Hell yes!! It had 30? taco trucks, a tequila tent, chihuahua races, and Mexican wrestlers, plus music, dancing and tons of vendors.

The pic at r71 is obviously not my boyfriend. I’d never post his pic here. That’s one of the wrestlers.

He’s gonna be my next boyfriend.

Ok, but exactly how big is the boyfriend’s unit?

Cut or uncut?

[quote]Ok, but exactly how big is the boyfriend’s unit?

[quote]Cut or uncut?

It’s 18 inches. He was cut, but it grew back. 🤷🏻

[quote]Ok, but exactly how big is the boyfriend’s unit?

Damn! I should have said “850 sq feet”. Total missed opportunity.

I am so sunburnt from being outside for hours at the taco truck fest without sunscreen.

I hope that gives everyone who hates me and thinks I’m a terrible person some level of satisfaction.

I now regret participating in this thread. Op is a tedious life-sucking troll. Your bf truly will be better off without you. Once he starts breathing again he will look back on you as the dumbest mistake of his life, but at least he and his future boyfriends will have a good laugh when he retells stories about what a self-centered ass he used to date

And, you Op, will continue to bore your future boyfriends to death

[quote]And, you Op, will continue to bore your future boyfriends to death.

I hope you and I end up dating. You deserve me.

I did date you, that's how I know

[quote]I did date you, that's how I know

Pete??! Pete with the two incher? How’s it hanging buddy? Probably pretty close to your pubes still, if memory serves. Good to hear from you though!

How would you know? You were always too busy playing with your own... You're NOT good in bed, you know and you're worse out of bed

OP/r80 You sound like me. Years ago, and I'm not proud of this, I've done something similar to people in past relationships because of...daddy issues. Consciously, I honestly didn't want to hurt them but my therapist pretty much helped me conclude that I was subconsciously punishing my dad through them and dealing with a lot of insecurities.

To make matters worse, I wasn't even sexually attracted to any of them and definitely used them; as either beards (the guys; female, here), validation, and at times, satiation for boredom. And then, when they became the source of that boredom, I just left; all via text. I would spend days, sometimes weeks trying to figure out the least hurtful way to end it. I am well aware that a break up text is the antithesis of that, no need for a lecture DL. But, I rationalized it as me doing [italic]them[/italic] a favor by "relieving" them of my toxic presence in their lives to go deal with my basketcase issues.

At the end of the day, there really is no good way to do this, and it's best to stay by yourself if you know you have problems that require intense therapy to solve and not bother with relationships in the first place. Why involve other people in your bullshit? Broken people should remain single.

[quote]How would you know? You were always too busy playing with your own... You're NOT good in bed, you know and you're worse out of bed

Ah, good ole no-meat Pete! I’ve missed you buddy! And yes, we were terrible in bed and together. I’m sorry for that time I called it a clit.

Just stop, I'm not taking you back no matter how much you beg

[quote]Broken people should remain single.

Thank you for the kind and thoughtful response. I don’t have daddy issues, but I have issues. I’m not going to do it by text. I’m gonna rip the band-aid off and slink back home. I’ll tell him he is wonderful and deserves someone wonderful and I hope we can stay part of one another’s lives and I get to see him meet someone wonderful. And that I’m sorry.

But then I’m gonna steal his tv remote control.

[quote]Just stop, I'm not taking you back no matter how much you beg

Aw, c’mon man! I’ve posted a dozen times that I’m no good and I’m not gonna have another relationship.

Just once more for old time’s sake? I’ll let you stick it in my ear like you used to like to do. I didn’t mind and it kinda tickled.

To make matters worse, I blocked them immediately after so I didn't have to read their response if they sent one. If it's any consolation r102, I did spend 99% of the text going on about how bad I was and that I "would only make [them] miserable." I applaud you for not taking the cowardly road and doing it face to face, though. Yes, it takes a certain level of maturity to do so; a level of maturity I clearly didn't have at the time. Just face the music, let them have their say. Give them that much, at least.

As cliche as it sounds, work on yourself, however long it takes. And maybe get a hedgehog or something instead of taking the remote, yeah?

Can I have him?

" I’ll let you stick it in my ear like you used to like to do."

It's pretty obvious that someone has already fucked your brains out

[quote]Can I have him?

Sure. He’s great. A keeper. Low mileage, seriously no drama (on his part), handsome, tall, smart, funny, great in bed. He’s the whole package.

If I wasn’t already dating him, I’d probably want to date him.

I’ll be auctioning him off on this thread at 7pm ET tomorrow.

[quote]It's pretty obvious that someone has already fucked your brains out.

Hey now. You know that I had that MRI and they discovered I only had a brain stem and no actual cortex. I’m petty proud of how far I’ve made it in life with only a bran stem. But you also know I’m sensitive about it, so be kind, okay?

R107 thank you, because I too am also very low mileage.

I remember reading in some article that the kindest way to break up with someone is over the phone. It gives them the power to hang up on you if they want.

Don’t invite them to dinner and then do it there - they are anticipating something nice but then cruelly being served something bad.

Op, can I have your stuff? You won’t be needing it after Sunday.

What time is this going down today, OP? Can you record it for us?

[quote] I remember reading in some article that the kindest way to break up with someone is over the phone. It gives them the power to hang up on you if they want.

Well, fuck. I was planning on doing it at his place because I thought he’d feel safe, but now I think phone is probably better. I would never do it in public.

jebus, we do not want to hear of a lessbeen's daddy issues

begone!

[quote] What time is this going down today, OP? Can you record it for us?

No. I’m not sure when it’s going to happen. Maybe later than 4.

I threw up thinking about it this morning. It was all just a silly thread on Datalounge until today.

I don’t know if people want a post-break up update or just want me to shut up, but I probably won’t post much after. I post (I don’t “troll”) about this because making light of it is a coping mechanism. But it’s gonna hurt and I’m not going to think it’s that funny later tonight.

idc, really.

[quote] jebus, we do not want to hear of a lessbeen's daddy issues.

Back the fuck up off her! I appreciated what she posted and needed to hear it and I don’t want ANYONE giving her shit for it! If you have a problem, post it at me, the OP.

shut up

fuck if i care, r117.

what'ya gonna do?

I hope OP’s not currently in a body bag.

[quote]fuck if i care, [R117]. what'ya gonna do?

Date you. You’ve seen what I’m willing to go to hurt a man.

Your boyfriend is called Sunday, OP? How curious.

How were the tacos??

Jesus Christ, fraus always have the longest posts.

[quote]How were the tacos??

Delicious! I started off sort the non-traditional ones. Korean bbq and a char siu with wasabi sauce. Then moved on to birria (amazing), had a bite of the boyfriend’s shredded chicken, and then ended with a traditional adobo, carnitas and asada. The last three were the best. But I was stuffed. We shared most of them, but I still ate at least 7 tacos. Little street tacos.

But if you’re going to a taco truck fest, go big or go home. Same as the bathhouses.

[quote]Your boyfriend is called Sunday, OP? How curious.

Yes, but he makes me call him ‘sir’.

Sir Sunday. Of the kingdom of Fro-yo.

It’s done.

Thread closed.

So, how did it go

It went fine. We have plans tomorrow night.

What happened?

We broke up. We’ll still stay in touch, but we’re done. We might get dinner as friends, but nothing more. I had a little cry, but I’m finished.

Did you give him the taco doggy bag, or keep it?

Is he upset? Did he cry?

And I'm taking a dump at 7:30 this morning. About as ugly and banal and stupid as OP's thread.

[quote]Is he upset? Did he cry?

I don’t know. He didn’t cry on the phone and he said he understood and he said all sorts of horrible things like “I never want you to be sad, and if this hurts you, I understand” so you can see what an asshole he is. And he agreed to (my request to) continue to text me every morning at 6am and say “Good morning! I hope you have a wonderful day. 😉”. Prick!

But I wasn’t done crying when I said I was. I had another little cry and then I went to 7-eleven and got a blood orange slurpee. The BIG one.

[quote]And I'm taking a dump at 7:30 this morning. About as ugly and banal and stupid as OP's thread.

You’re the 60 year old who looks 65 with a FUPA and a micropeen at r52 and you thought you should share THAT??

Gurrrrl. That’s no way to sell yourself. And for god’s sake, flush twice.

OP, so you're 27 with an IQ of 72, and maturity of a Junior High Schooler?

[quote]OP, so you're 27 with an IQ of 72, and maturity of a Junior High Schooler?

No. I’m 50 with an IQ Of 72 and the maturity of a grade-schooler. Did it just take you that long to figure it out? 🙄

You said it buster.

[quote]You said it buster.

I typed it, FUPA.

Wait a minute. Is this you, OP?

Yes, r141. I’m the salesgirl.

Can you make ends meet as a single gal on your shop bottom salary?

[quote]Can you make ends meet as a single gal on your shop bottom salary?

I’m also a $50,000 an hour call boy. The soap job is just my bubble gum and magazine money.

You're an idiot, OP.

[quote]You're an idiot, OP.

Well, tell me something I DON’T know!

Did the auction start yet?

[quote]Did the auction start yet?

It’s been postponed to Saturday and will now be handled by Sotheby’s. It’s a rare item. A kind, handsome, hung, emotionally available gay man with no flaws, mint condition, three previous owners, and established provenance, so the estimated value is $1.2M.

Lol@ 3 previous owners. For 1.2m I can get someone with less gay mileage like Bradley cooper.

But he probably looks younger!

[quote]Lol@ 3 previous owners. For 1.2m I can get someone with less gay mileage like Bradley cooper.

I think $1.2M is a fair price considering at least 25 more years of earning potential and great sex.

And you really think Bradley Cooper has fewer gay miles on him than that??

[quote]But he probably looks younger!

He’s 50, but he looks 49 and 11 months.

R147, Bradley Cooper made $40M for a Star is Born. No way you’re getting him for $1.2M! My ex is a bargain!

Look, there can be a hundred people in the room, and 99 don’t believe in you, but one does. And if that one is Bradley Cooper, it’s still gonna cost you closer to $100M!