Chrissy Metz announces concert tour

Standing room only. Literally.

Tent venue?

She won’t fit in my city.

Is she going to do intense choreography and wear a headset microphone?

Notice she is doing her tour in venues that all have on-site restaurants.

There's not room in this town for both of us! Literally!

Hard at work in rehearsals:

I wonder how she travels. Tour truck?

Will she be selling all 10 volumes of her tour rider?

Her tour bus is called Titanic. It's the largest moving object ever made by the hands of man!

I hope all these venues reinforce their stages.

I wondered what all the kids in the neighborhood were screaming and crying about. This will be such a thrill for the Chrissy Metz clubs... you know, the ones they have in most of the girls' high schools.

[quote]I wonder how she travels. Tour truck?

NASA lends her touring company one of these.

The Cheesecake Factory is sponsoring her tour.

It’ll be tons of fun.

Strictly first-class for Miss Metz.

Bitch can’t sing

Captain, I hear whale song..

These postings are hilarious.

Her ass is too small.

Chrissy's Boston venue is directly over one end of the Sumner Tunnel, one of downtown's main links to and from Logan Airport.

The tunnel will be closed every weekend (Friday PM to Monday AM) for the next 36 weekends, allegedly for reconstruction.

The initial phase of the work will consist of reinforcing the tunnel structure itself. They knew Chrissy was coming.

Fat she's a star, thin she ain't.

[quote] I wonder how she travels.

My guess is a small barge.

At least I'll be able to see her really well from the cheap seats!

And YOU get a snack purse! And YOU get a snack purse! And YOU get a snack purse! And YOU get a snack purse!

Batten down the snackage!

She brings her own Jumbotron

Anyone still worried the stock market is going to crash - it ain't over til she sings. Sell it all once she hits the stage.

She's fat. We get it. But, more relevantly, she can't fucking sing.

Found a photo of Chrissy’s preshow meal, according to her rider.

Don't Call Me Chrissy Anymore!

(You Can Call Me Fat)

Mama Cass wasn't fat next to Chrissy, hell I doubt Kate Smith was as big as Chrissy. But, at least both of them could sing. I watched her when she was a guest on the Opry, and I know the quality of the show has gone down hill but she was by far the worst. She was standing in the circle where Patsy, Loretta, Kitty, Jean, Connie, Dottie, Tammy, Dolly, Jeannie, Barbara, Reba, etc... have stood, I guess they flew high to pave the way for mediocre talent to be celebrated just for existing.

Nobody asked for this. There's no market for singing planets.

Kate Smith looks anorexic compared to Chrissy

Literally two tons of fun.

Reba's face at 1:50

R36 That is a face that says, "really? We are supposed to all act like this is good?"

Even though I made my own fat joke, reading a succession of cruel comments about somebody who seems nice makes me feel…almost bad.

[quote] Even though I made my own fat joke

Which one is yours?

R15

Yes, I implied she weighs 2,000 - 4,000 lbs

It ain't over till the fat lady sings.

^^^^Then that will be a very brief concert.

[quote]She brings her own Jumbotron

She IS her own Jumbotron

She'll bring down the house!

R8 container ship

Chrissy sings the hits:

“Harper Valley BLT”

“Don’t Rain on My Poached Eggs”

“A Little Night Mueslix”

“I Will Always Love Food”

“You Light Up My Scale”

As has been stated before: "She needs to keep the weight on to keep the voice fierce"

More timeless Chrissy hits:

“Ode to Sloppy Joe”

“Sweet Caramel”

“Pizza with a Z”

“Foods Rush In”

What does everyone think of her voice?

R49 Better than her heavy breathing, that's for sure.

Off key

Weighty

If she ever comes to Houston I'll corral her and bring her in.