Let’s be Corporate Speak Buzzwords and Phrases

“Per my last email, have you started to think outside the box?

"Let's run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes."

"That's in your wheelhouse."

I’m an inflection point!

I’ll reach out to them and report back.

"At the end of the day..."

Oh my God I would fucking blow my brains out if I had to work in corporate America again.

They're hot- let's slip 'em the meat.

"I want ROCKSTARS on my team!"

I don't have the bandwidth for this right now.

I am low-hanging fruit.🍈🍈

"Let's drill down to the granular level."

How do we change Community Partners preferences on the deliverables?

Trans: How do we give them less than expected to increase our profits?

I’m “unpacking”.

Sometimes I get swapped with “digesting” or “processing”.

I have nothing to do with logistics nor bodily functions.

"We're going in a different direction."

I’m synergy.

R9, oh god my boss says that all the time

“I know you can be a rock star in this role!”

“I interviewed this one girl and seems like a ROCK STAR!”

What, did she just wake up from a coke and Jack Daniels binge after hanging out all night with Motley Crue? Grow up!

"She presents well."

When straight men say this about a female co-worker or a female who's just had a job interview for the company, it means they think she's hot and they want to fuck her.

Team capacity is currently stretched.

Anyone who's not giving 110% should reevaluate if this is the right place for them.

I'm "shooting you an email" to schedule a "touch base"

I‘m the trenches, the targets, and the war room.

What? Business is a battle!

“Rockstar” is the worst! The satisfaction when the exuberance fades and the alleged “Rockstar” turns out to be a failure is stupendous.

Let's all meet after lunch and brainstorm some ideas for next quarter!

Translation: Hang around this freezing conference room right after a big lunch while YOU do all the thinking and I do all the napping.

And apparently, the opposite of "rockstar" is the one who gets thrown under the bus.

Thank you for reaching out OP!

Let me socialize your request with the Comms Team and then we can have a touch base to share some of our input with you.

In the interim. can you shoot me over what your avails look like for next Monday so we can coordinate calendars and lock down a time.

Talk soon!!!

R26

It’s hilarious how people think they sound like they’re speaking the Queen’s English with this bullshit, but they just sound like a night security guard with long, lime green nails trying to sound smart.

Peeling the onion A meaningful way From a 30,000 feet view

With that being said, let's pivot and revisit this topic next time. Cheers!

I'm the "code ninja" who is really just an autistic nebbish doing less than 2 hours of work a day

I’ll stick a pin in it.

[Quote] Cheers!

Viscerally upsetting