Are You Mentally Ill?

Yes, sadly I have extreme delusions.

I imagine I am a handsome heterosexual who is a perfect host with infallible judgment and taste - I'm unbearable!

But I'm actually a fat old faggot who sits around my trailer in a dirty old caftan, stretching out my pussy with big dildos while I eat Cheetos and watch my stories on the TV.

Yeah. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, exactly, but I know that I’m fucked up.

It's a hard knock life, for us!

Who else would be here?

Yep. Depression and anxiety, which is probably turning into schizophrenia. I want to enjoy DataLounge while I still can.

The DataLounge is rife and rampant with the mentally ill, bless their crazy hearts.

Anger management issues.

We all are to varying degrees and presentation.

Everybody is fucked up in one way or another. It's the ones that say they're not... those are the ones you need to watch out for and end up shooting up places.

Op here, Depression, anxiety, PTSD...etc.

Guys who post here tend to have time on their hands. And when you've got too much time on your hands your mnd starts to wander, and heads into places a mind shouldn't go.

Yeah, I know mine is ready like a hyper toddler pulling at his leash ready to run into the nearest dark abandoned mine.

Mental illness is so hot right now!

PTSD and attachment disorder from my shitty childhood and also severe depression and anxiety from masking my autism until I was diagnosed at 34. I am the child that never got to freak out over a broken hamburger! T_T

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 41 R14, not that a diagnosis would have stopped the people who tortured me as a kid.

R14 & r15, I have been listening to this YouTube channel while working around the house, and at night when sleep fails me. I find her knowledgeable and soothing.

I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder earlier this year. It’s most likely a differential diagnosis for C-PTSD, which has been crippling the past while.

Passive ideation Is no fun to constantly deal with.

Count me in.

PTSD from losing my mother, father, dog and good friend in less than a years time. Anxiety due to.., you know… 2022.

Who doesn’t? I’m literally asking, because I genuinely think any American in 2022 would qualify for some DSM-V related mental disorder.

Severe anxiety disorder. It really sucks. Due to lots of talk therapy, I have the tools to keep it at bay.

I was tortured all through school for being fat and weird aka autistic, and before and during that time, I was also dealing with an uncle who physically and mentally abused me. I really didn't stand a chance at being "normal".

Of course not! What makes you ask? Did somebody say something? They are liars. They follow me around the internet spreading canards. I want them dead. Especially the CIA. Leave me alone!

What a ridiculous assertion, OP.

I’m 65 but could pass for late 20s. No, I’m not mentally ill in any way. Why do you ask?

I am in the process of transitioning from male to female after recently remembering my past life as Joan Of Arc and I am working with a shaman to recall my other lives. She thinks I may have also been Tituba, the slave girl from the Salem witch hysteria. I can't wait to leave mental illness behind when I am not longer a man and finally the woman I was meant to be once again.

[quote]And when you've got too much time on your hands your mind starts to wander, and heads into places a mind shouldn't go.

True dat! Not to mention my dildo collection...OMG, you should see my gaping pussy!

Gregory, you flirt

Fuck yeah!

I think I won an election that I actually lost by 7 million votes

Mental illness is a privilege, not a right.

I’ve been on Zoloft for years. Also every single gay man/lesbian I have ever met or am friends with has issues, ranging from mild to severe. I’m sure this is due to being subjected or exposed to constant homophobia growing up.

Yes, I am a gayling that has a support/portion control person accompany me to any public eatery and pre-screen my food portions. I also have anger issues with anyone born before 2000.

I prefer mental thank u

Depression, OCD, social anxiety, probably generalized anxiety, and possibly "on the spectrum." I'm pretty sure I would have been diagnosed with autism if I were a tot in today's era, but it was the 70s. And I somewhat "grew out of it."

Yes. I’ve been suicidal most of my life and dealt with social anxiety and depression. I self harmed up until a few years ago. It was a coping mechanism and calmed me down. I always made sure to cut where nobody would see.

Not me! And I'll repeatedly denounce you on Twitter if you refuse to admit it.

The sad thing is compared to many family members I’m not doing too poorly. I still hold down a job and function in society.

In my case it's the opposite, there are a few people in my family that struggle with it too, but they are better at dealing with it than I am.

Insane in the membrane (insane in the brain)

"Greg" does, as well as a handful of certain drunken lesbians on here.

Yes, bipolar disorder. I had my first depressive episode when I was 12. Was treated (ineffectively ... ) for depression when I was in high school. First psych admit came at 21, and I was in and out of the hospital for a few horrible years. I'm in my late 30s now, and as r5 mentioned, I fear I'm developing schizophrenia. Or, more accurately, schizoaffective disorder. I've been reading different theories of schizophrenia lately and one states that schizophrenic traits occur on a spectrum, one end of which contains "normal personality traits" and the other "full-blown schizophrenia." (This idea goes against the traditional view that one either has schizophrenia, or they don't.)

I like that idea.

I'm somewhat delusional about certain things, but I've always been an oddball, a little eccentric, and it's hard to know when certain traits truly qualify as "psychosis."

I still struggle a lot with highs and lows, even with medication. But I quit drinking and drugs about ten years ago, which helped. My life is rather quiet and uneventful now.

I'm single and probably always will be. Dealing with the mood swings would be too much for another person. However, I'm content, mostly, in my own little world.

Mental health issues are like assholes. Everybody’s got one.

^^And yours stinks more

For those of you who are delusional, how do you know? What are your delusions? I thought you wouldn't really know it if you were delusional.

I'm surprised by how many of you claim to be on the autism spectrum too.

Yep, growing up gay in this shitty world has led to anxiety, depression and purple monkey dishwasher.

r45 I have delusions that certain people from the past (nineteenth century, to be specific) are trying to communicate with me, and sending me signals and messages, and that they can read my thoughts. Things along those lines. One particular delusion, which I won't get into, it very long-standing and unshakeable.

I know, intellectually, that they are utterly untrue, and yet I believe them.

R45, I reject the need to put in effort and feel that I really shouldn’t have to try. This is a core belief and a fundamental misalignment with the universe, so I melt down anytime I’m put under stress. This has grown to assuming that anytime another person asks me a question, they’re out to get me and are imposing their “chaos” upon my “peace”. I’ve adapted to living alone with many cycles of antidepressants, but I’ll never be able to form healthy relationships outside work. So, I’ll just keep drinking and eating myself to death.

I should elaborate that a rejection of the concept of effort also means that I see no future for myself or anyone else. All of existence is meaningless, unless I can guarantee bliss for myself, etc. if I can’t, then why live? Why put in effort?

(I understand this is nonsense, but I’m dealing with that)

34 years ago I was diagnosed with a very severe case of depression at age 18. It was so bad that I checked myself into the hospital for a week. I was started on a 30 day supply of Prozac, which I believe was one of the newer medications used for depression at that time. After the first prescription was used, I got my first refill just days before my first appointment with a Psychologist. I was still taking the Prozac when I met briefly with the Psychologist. Briefly, I say, because I actually ended the meeting after about ten minutes by stating to him "I don't think that I need you now, and I don't think I'll ever you again." I went home, and I took the Prozac from the medicine cabinet, poured it into the toilet, flushed, and said aloud "I'll never be depressed again!" And I never have been since then when I was just 18 years old. Incredible!

I hope with great, great sincerity that you all find relief, joy, and care-free hapiness some day! 🤗

I don't think so. I prefer to call myself quirky. Nothing wrong with that, and I'm totally functional, for the most part. That is, unless someone is wanting to let me into traffic when, say, I'm pulling out of a side street or parking lot. Then, I wave them on and wait my turn. I simply will not accept favors from other drivers. I have a tough time accepting them from anyone else, for that matter, because there's always a cost to count.

Uh oh.

I have bipolar disorder.

NO I'M NOT YOU NASTY LITTLE HOMOSEXUAL BOY AND I RESENT THE IMPLICATION!

Thanks r50

Absolutely not.

Nope…haha Absolutely not. Why do you ask?

I prefer "touched"

Of course the term isn't used anymore, but melancholia seems such an apt sounding description for being lost in thoughts of pleasures gone by. Judging by the threads here -- Doris Day and Gracie Allen, anyone? -- it's an affliction many of us share.

Yep. Depression and anxiety. Tried to kill myself once.

R50 That's not how depression works. You were just sad, like all humans are sometimes. You didn't suffer from depression.

r48, are you still around? Do you have a diagnosis? I'm asking because you're describing my partner to a T.

R60, I can assure you that this is how depression worked for me. Again, I assert that I was hospitalized, diagnosed, placed on Prozac, and set up with a Psychologist for routine visitation. I can also assure you that after that single visit to the Psychologist, I resolved never to PLACE MYSELF in the same situation again. I spoke truth to power as young as I was, and I did so instinctively. Like Scarlet O'Hara "As God is my witness....." Sure, I've been sad plenty of times since then through disappointment, hardships, break-ups, etc. But I have NEVER, EVER felt the overwhelming sense of despair, desperation, hopelessness, and loneliness I felt at that time again - no matter what. Again, that's exactly how it worked for me. Acceptance is key.

R50

Depression and anxiety, both ADHD related. I also have hypertension and IBS, both attributed to "stress."

Depression does not disappear just because you "spoke truth to power."

Depression.

Does anyone sane post here? I think not.

Wow I wish I had told my darned mental illness to just go away and not come back. Could have avoided decades of struggle.

Ya think? When there's fucking loons typing shit like this?

[quote]The thread was revenge by someone we know well who hates Kate's guts for succeeding where Meghan failed, for being slim and tall and able to wear clothes that Meghan can't because Meghan is short and squat with bad legs, for having DOMINANT hair naturally whilst Meghan has to attach hers with glue, and for being a future Queen and mother of a future King, whilst Meghan tries frantically to make herself matter with a pale title, is the mother of two kids no one cares about, and has to manage a mentally ill husband who bends over in public and spreads his cheeks to fart at a polo game., whilst Kate's husband accrues more BDE every year as his father inches up to the throne and William inches up to Prince of Wales and heir to all that money from the Duchy of Cornwall. The reason you're seeing it come down to hate is because this wasn't a casual discussion of how Kate looked. One look at the word "skeletal" told us who OP really was: out for blood. OP is a full-bore Kate Hater. She needs to be called out for her lies.

Yes. Bipolar and OCD

Aren't we all? I have anxiety, have overcome (mostly) panic disorder, and have a mild form of OCD. Sometimes struggle with depression.

I have mild agoraphobia and sometimes have panic attacks in very crowded places but no depression. I'm a pretty happy go lucky type.

That is an adult-sized portion of mental issues, r68.

The Royal threads are truly wild in terms of batshittery levels. Some truly afflicted types.

Those are the real crazies R73. I put that one truly deranged posted on ignore that I quoted at R68. She needs to be medicated and in special facility.

People are a lot angrier now, compared to, say, 3 years ago [or pre-Pandemic]

There seems to be absolutely no desire to understand POVs that differ from your own political beliefs. Worst motives are immediately assumed and attributed to the other side of the political divide.

Also: a globalized tendency to demonize your imagined opponent [‘Everyone from X political party are absolutely evil and has no redeeming features at all’]

Are these symptoms of mental illnesses? Or just immaturity? I honestly don’t know

But this will lead to greater and greater divisiveness, and strifes and chaos and hate, that I’m quite sure

@R64 and R67 - My case is certainly not the rule, and from your responses it appears to be the exception. I think I just decided for myself that I wasn't going to be some fucking candy ass drama queen always lamenting about what was wrong with my life, and therefore looking on the brighter side of things. The old "Life is 15% what happens to me and 85% how I react to it." I took that to heart. My story with depression is as I've stated.

-R50,R62

PTSD, OCD and late diagnosis of ADHD. Disabled veteran.

Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and OCD are my diagnoses. After working with kids for ten years, I realized I probably have inattentive ADD as well. It's a fun mix.

I've experienced suicidal ideation since I was in elementary school. Since I started ketamine therapy (at home) in March, the SI thoughts have almost completely disappeared. I am enjoying the reprieve, to say the least.

R68 Good grief. Posts like that really ruined the Royal threads. The threads started off initially amusing, just run of the mill snark at two celebutantes. But they quickly attracted hordes of psychotic, schizo affective conspiracy theorists who ascribe all consuming malice to a typical L.A. social climber and her blue blood husband. They suck all of the fun out of any royal gossip.

Yeah R79. I used to be somewhat amused at the bit of snark the Royal threads got but this shit recently is outright insanity. These old cunts start screaming about some non-existent "Sussex Squad" and "Sunshine Sachs" if anything less than worship is directed towards the BRF and if you don't agree wholeheartedly that MM is Damien.

To the “I told my depression to stop and I changed my attitude…”

Pervasive mental illness is more complex than “attitude”.

Yes. Attitude (self awareness) plays a role in quality of life.

But mental illness can, and often is, a tsunami which is not controlled with platitudes.

So please stop insisting on your annoying success story. Thank you!

Jealous?

Petty?

Not at all. But I'm wondering about your reason for attempting to minimalize my own experience with depression. It's as if your saying that mine wasn't real and true simply because I vowed to overcome it, overcame it, and never became depressed again. Why is that hard to believe? So, my week long stay in hospital wasn't necessary? The prescription for the new miracle drug Prozac wasn't needed? The diagnosis made by the doctor was a mistake? What? You can't appreciate that I would resolve to pull myself up and out of the depths of such depression all on my own? Ah. Perhaps it was the fervent prayer to God which flipped the script for me with the kind of prayer which causes you to wipe the sweat off your forehead when you get up off your knees. Don't try to come for me, man! I shared my shit for the purpose of inspiration. Maybe, just maybe one or two of you might be moved to do the same thing. Who tried to discount YOUR story or what YOU shared, pal?!! It wasn't ME! Just sayin. You have no idea what brought me to that point in my very young life all those years ago. Likewise, you have no idea wgat I've lived with for the past TWENTY YEARS! And yet I laugh and I sing every single day. Every day. And despite it all, I thank God, the Universe, Yeshua, the Ascended Masters, the Arch Angels and Angels, my past on relatives and descendants, and my spirit guides of Divine white, loving light. Every. Day! My enemies are many - great in number. They're slick, but I'm slicker. They're slick in the darkness, but I'm slicker still in the light.

Change your attitude! Speak victory and triumph rather than hopeless dispair. If you don't care to read another response from me, then maybe you ought not address me again. 😂

r84, learn to read the room.

R76 You never had depression. You decided to not be depressed and from that day forward you were never depressed again? Jesus Christ, it doesn't work that way. If you have a clinical depression, you have it till the day you die. You just need to learn to live with it, either by taking medicine or on your own, focusing on positive things, changing your lifestyle, having someone to talk to (if you can, some people can't even get out of bed to go to the bathroom). But even if you are at your happiest, it doesn't mean you are cured and you no longer have a depression. It's still there, waiting in the back of your mind. And just one small thing is enough to set it free. And then again you're thinking about nothing else but putting a noose around your neck again.

Can I confess something. I think the DL will understand. Sometimes when I'm driving on the road at night and I see two headlights coming toward me, I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car.

Remind me to fart on your food

R87: there but for the Grace of God…

[quote]I just decided for myself that I wasn't going to be some fucking candy ass drama queen

When I say that I am certain there are posters on here deliberately trying to make others feel awful or even harm themselves, this is the kind of person who I'm talking about. Someone got onto this thread, and decided to pretend like you can simply decide to not be a "depressed fucking candy-ass drama queen" and your problems will go away. If you're depressed, according to this guy, it's all because you made the wrong decisions.

Alcoholism thanks to childhood sexual anuse6

R86 “It's still there, waiting in the back of your mind.” I feel like that too. It’s never left. It’s just waiting to strike. It’s fucking weird to have to fight your own mind.

CPTSD and attachment disorder, long history of depression. In my 50s I finally had the $ and the desperation to address it, and it's been 4 years of talk therapy, hypnotherapy, somatic work, meditation, neurofeedback, and tons of other stuff. Still working on it. Narcissistic parents can really fuck you up long term.

Avoidant Personality Disorder

just some social anxiety, anxiety, and depression. my celexa keeps it at bay for the most part.

Yes.

Apparently, there's a possible link between autism spectrum disorder and not being straight. When I was younger my folks say they thought I was autistic (Asperger's) but I was never officially tested. I'm asexual homoromantic. That's basically a double-shot.

I wonder, what could possibly be the correlation, here?

what's your pronoun?

Tourette's is it, r98?

wallow in it or carry on, your choice.

Medication resistant depression. The bright side is since my depression became worse it's somewhat ramped down my anxiety... and everything else. I think it's also time to look into getting a diagnosis and treatment for C-PTSD. Having read the stuff, I'm pretty sure I've got it. Hope trauma-based CBT might help me. I do what I can with what little strength I've got left, but this is really no way to live.

How old are you r101?

R97, do you really think that is true? It's obviously true that there are a lot of trans autistics (because of the black & white, concrete thinking), but I don't see autistic traits in many people on this board. I actually thought this group was fairly anti-autistic.

R102 52. Been diagnosed with major depression since my 20s, with varied degrees of severity over the years.

My inattentive ADHD makes my job as an admin assistant for military officers quite the challenge. The folks are all about attention to detail and that is my Achilles Heel. Stupid mistakes, though I’ve improved a lot on my Lexapro. And I have to have checklists for all of the mundane stuff, because for me, that’s the easiest thing to screw up.

Anyone who thinks depression is "being a candy ass" has more mental health problems than a person with depression.

Further, any gay person who uses the term "candy ass" in the first place clearly has more issues than a newsstand.

It's no surprise I already had Mr. "Candy ass" blocked.

R94 What age are you and were you diagnosed by a professional? I am 63 and feel sure I have either Avoidant Personality Disorder or Attachment Disorder. I think it’s too late for me to do anything about it now, but I seem to fit into both of those disorders from what I read about it. I have always been kind of odd ever since a child. At first I thought I was just a loner as that what my grandmother said I was. I have had a fairly good life, and somehow managed to work for 35 years until retiring at 52. But I’ve never had a relationship other than friendships and casual sex in my whoring younger years.

The older I get I cut people off more frequently, Initially I was putting this down to age but during the lockdowns I started to take a look at myself. Though I am a good person, I think anyway, I know that I have odd ways. I almost always prefer to be alone than to be with other people, I don’t read people very well etc. I have accepted that there is something not right with me but not sure what it is. I don’t think I’m bipolar or autistic. I read an article about Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder and I seemed to tick every box, it was like an alarm going off. But reading about Avoidant and Attachment disorders it seems I might be one of those.

I do feel a bit embarrassed about all of this. I have never discussed it with anybody at all and feel at 62 it’s really not worth digging deeper. But at the same time I would maybe feel better knowing that at least there’s a reason for my odd behaviour, silent anger, cutting people off etc

Of course not. Why would you ask?

Everyone is crazy in some way.

And the DSM has got so fucken huge that literally everyone IS in there, somewhere.

R107, if you're curious about your attachment status and if can afford it, I'd suggest you take an Adult Attachment Interview. It's a semi-structured interview that can be done remotely. It lasts approximately an hour. It takes about a month to get it transcribed and properly scored, and costs $800-900, but afterwards you'll know definitively what your attachment style is - secure, insecure, or disorganized, and whether or not you have unresolved trauma. Then it can be properly addressed. I did mine with George Haas of Mettagroup, in L.A. (and scored fearful preoccupied "E3")

[quote]I don't see autistic traits in many people on this board.

I do, r103. I get a strong Asperger's vibe with a lot of posters, here. For example, not picking up on obvious sarcasm or trolling.

I'm not sure if it's perhaps the fact his board's age skews 50+ or what, but that's one I've noticed quite often. Asperger's is also more common in males than females, and this board is mostly full of males.

*This

r109 the biggest problem with the way diagnostics is handled now... is the bulk of standards have been thrown out.

Unsurprisingly, this concided with the closure of long-term public mental health care facilities. . . to which now most research is less driven by the medical emphasis than the social science perspective. The benefit, however, is your G.P. has taken over the coveted spot of the psychiatrist with a quicker turn around... especially with the extreme worldwide shortages of psychiatric professionals. Although, some people are still dependent upon them... most are lucky to see their psychiatrists more than once a year. While virtually anyone, in the U.S., can raise a question with their doc/nurse.

I digress.

In truth, in most cases, particularly on the mild to moderate scale, you're not likely to get the same diagnosis in two different locations. . . things become more complicated when the social, cultural and political comes into the mix.

Even before the standards slipped, the percentages of accuracy weren't that great... but criteria was more demanding...

which is where we come to situations like r111 where the criteria for autism was overruled by social justice that sought it in a cry of feminism and equality for females to receive more attention and to place the more severe cases back up in the attic because it takes away from being a social currency badge... of being declared a(n idiot) savant while being able to get out of everything for claiming being triggered. . . and apparently many desire to be able to have "flappy hands" everywhere... luckily, the fidget spinner trend has died down. So, outside of social media, you don't see this aggressive performance as often in public, anymore.

This sociocultural trend of self id/diagnosis has turned mental illness into sociocultural identities. . . and, that too, has compounded the problems with diagnostics. . . but we could toss that under the umbrella of the political and social spheres.

We've lost the control group -- "normal" standards.

So, diagnosis is heavily influenced instead by the values of the location you're in. . . among many other variables.

Some variables are greater than others but I find it's often more regional, localized then further broken down into religious/ethnic/sexual/gender populations and then onto specific demographics... but alas, all of those often find themselves under the sociopolitical wing as well. Bias has become the norm. . . and the official bodies, organizations, have dived head first into this abyss.,. rather than try to resist.

The orgs are decidedly leftwing for the most part while there's a growing amount of rightwing practitioners. . .

of course, though, this could just be a continuation of the age old divide between the new age pop psychs to the old age clinicians. . . while the socials were (and remain) the burnouts.

The system is need of a massive overhaul... but many institutional systems do. So, it's not likely to happen outside of private care.

r107 this was was many of us were forced to learn during shutdown:

r107

I've started talking to myself constantly. Long imaginary dialogues with relatives and enemies about politics and other topics. It doesn't seem healthy. I wonder what the neighbors think.

I'm convinced that the epidemic of aggressive behavior in America is due to adults who have pill addictions. They're basically functional, but they overreact to everything.

Probably.

I've experienced every human calamity in the last few years.

[quote]I've started talking to myself constantly.

I'm sorry, r116, but this genuinely made me start laughing, irl. The imagery you just painted of some random person having a full on conversation with themselves tickles me for some reason.

[quote]This sociocultural trend of self id/diagnosis has turned mental illness into sociocultural identities

Very true, if Twitter bios are any indication

R116:

[quote] “You want meaningful conversation? Do what I do, talk to yourself. It's the only way.”

Given that this is DL, you would have gotten a much more succinct thread if you'd asked "Are You Mentally Stable?", OP.

Succinct as in, there would have been about two honest "Yes" answers, and they would both have been posted by paid trolls from the Russian farms.

Mostly at night...mostly.

r116 r119 If such bothers you, just carry a phone about or wear an ear piece. . .

the more self aware schizo types tend to do just that to pass for a normie.

R116, as crazy goes, that's not that bad.

Fuckin right I’m mental.

she ain't right