Let's Be the 2022 Tony Awards That Should Have Been

The Marsha Skaggs WTF Is That Really Her Name Award: [bold] Beanie Feldstein [/bold]

The It’s a Scandal! It’s an Outrage! It’s a Nothingburger Award: [bold] James Snyder [/bold], [bold] William Ivey Long [/bold], [bold] Michael Jackson [/bold] (tie)

The Rex Harrison I’m Not Too Old to Do This Again Award: [bold] Mary Louise Parker [/bold]

The Who the Hell Do You Think You Are Who the Hell Do You Think You Are Award: [bold] Patti LuPone [/bold] (2nd time winning)

The How Many Librettists Does It Take to Screw in a Woke Lightbulb Award: [bold] Paradise Square [/bold]

The Jan Maxwell DataLounge Bandwidth Disproportionate to My Fame Award: [bold] Evan Todd [/bold]

The Hitch Your Wagon to a Legend Award: [bold] James Lapine[/bold], for tying his above-title billing to Stephen Sondheim (Lifetime Achievement)

Are these all the work of the same DLer?

I'm thinking....yes.

yes, I admit it. Just kidding around with some friends and figured we'd share here, didn't want to make one long post. Bye, then.

The Rising Starlet Award: Catherine Zeta-Jones

I’m impressed OP. Keep going!

I'm not sure I'd compare Evan Todd to Jan Maxwell. I'm not sure I'd compare Evan Todd to Jan Smithers.

The Andy Karl Can't Catch a Break (or a Hit) Award: Rob McClure.

The Tyne Daly Award for Cast Albums We Don't Need to Hear: The Music Man and Company (tie)

Oh wait we have a winner- Mr Saturday Night album released today

The nominees for the biggest bush on Broadway:

Biggest flop that will never be allowed to leave our memory: Follies.

The I Hate My Friend Julie Award: Beanie Feldstein

The Hell Yes, I've Seen It Up Close Award: Jesse Tyler Ferguson

The Tyler Maynard Stop Touching That It's Not Yours Award: [bold] Jesse Tyler Ferguson [/bold]

The Anne Kauffmann What Was It That Qualified You to Work Regularly As Opposed to Being Dismissed As You Should Have Been As a One-Hit-Wonder Award: [bold] Anna D. Shapiro [/bold]

The Jeremy Piven Award for making up illnesses to get out of performing - Beanie.

The Justin Mikita Award for winning a Producing Tony despite not having done a single thing to warrant it: Jennifer Hudson

The Fosca Award for Winners No One Wants to See:

OP, I’m dying! More, please. What a great way to end Tony night.

The Now that I Feel SEEN, I'll Never Write Another Show Award: Michael R. Jackson

The George Furth Gone But Forgotten Award

The Roxanne Gay Award for the Most Interesting Young Woman Host: Ariana DeBose

The VIOLA DAVIS Award for CAREER EXCELLENCE in BLACK acting despite being held down by the WHITE MAN.

The Sarah Siddons Award for painfully slow speechifying to Dame Phylicia Rashad

The "I'm so glad everybody forgot my tweet of joy when serial rapist ex-tv husband Bill Cosby was released" Award to Dame Phylicia Rashad, Lady Entitlement.

The Wow That Was Fast Award: Hugh Jackman (unless they knew all along)

The Billy Porter Jordan Roth Award for Attention Whore Couture Masquerading as Inclusion: Cynthia Erivo

Without Billy Porter's shenanigans do we think "Strange Loop" Michael R. Jackson would have worn that ridiculous pink circus tent, or did he pick it up at Andre Leon Talley estate's garage sale?