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Do masculine gay men still go out to gay bars? At least in NYC

Serious question. I went out in Chelsea (Rebar.. the old G Lounge) and Hell’s Kitchen (Rise / Industry) on Fri., and legit 3/4 of everyone looked either pre- or mid-transition.

Is it just a generational thing? (Mid 30s / older millennial here). While the bars always had a good # of fem and twinkish types during my heydays of the late 2000s and early to mid 2010s, I don’t remember it being THAT many.

by Anonymousreply 54June 24, 2022 3:43 PM

I went to a gay bar one time, now I feel content to make generalizations about all gays!

by Anonymousreply 1June 5, 2022 7:49 PM

3 Dollar Bill in BK is nothing like you describe. I think it’s you, OP.

by Anonymousreply 2June 5, 2022 7:53 PM

R2, I don’t venture to out to the slums of the city. You type poor and Section 8.

by Anonymousreply 3June 5, 2022 7:55 PM

Wow, typed like 64 year old retired shop bottom clinging onto his shitty walkup studio apt.

by Anonymousreply 4June 5, 2022 7:57 PM

3 dollar bill?? lmao. Some of the gayest / Gen Z / babybopper types I know go there.

by Anonymousreply 5June 5, 2022 7:57 PM

Should’ve also added gender-fluid*

by Anonymousreply 6June 5, 2022 7:58 PM

R5 You may “know” them, but they’d never speak to you - there or anywhere else you scurry.

by Anonymousreply 7June 5, 2022 8:01 PM

R7 = R1, R2, R4, R7. Jesus. What about this post triggered you so badly?

by Anonymousreply 8June 5, 2022 8:16 PM

Can't speak for r7 but I have always hated the Masculinity Police. OP are you sure you're not from Oklahoma?

by Anonymousreply 9June 5, 2022 10:38 PM

Try the Eagle on 28th

by Anonymousreply 10June 5, 2022 11:09 PM

No, R9. Born and raised East Coast.

by Anonymousreply 11June 5, 2022 11:19 PM

Thnx R10. Haven’t been in a while but seems Eagle has become increasingly more mainstream last few years. Used to be (2010s) grungier and attract a bearish / S&Mish type crowd. Curious to see what it’s like now.

by Anonymousreply 12June 5, 2022 11:21 PM

Ah the "east coast". You're probably from somewhere really poor r11. That would explain the snobby "I only drink in MANHATTAN" posturing. You're probably not as butch as you think you are.

by Anonymousreply 13June 5, 2022 11:34 PM

Lol. Over dramatic and hysterical fem has returned at R13. Chill out and take a Midol. Breathe. You will get through this post. I Promise.

by Anonymousreply 14June 5, 2022 11:38 PM


by Anonymousreply 15June 5, 2022 11:42 PM

Nope, not fem r14. If you saw me you'd think I was a sloppy badly-dressed straight guy. I just hate people who police the masculinity of others. It's very boring to me. I'm sorry your pappy threw jack daniels bottles at your head when you asked to join the dance team. Don't make that the world's problem.

by Anonymousreply 16June 5, 2022 11:43 PM


[quote] sorry your pappy threw jack daniels bottles at your head


by Anonymousreply 17June 5, 2022 11:52 PM

These Russian bots posting multiple “where are the masculine gays” threads constantly are beyond stupid. Embarrassed for you.

by Anonymousreply 18June 5, 2022 11:57 PM

R16, please provide an example of where masculinity was being “policed”.

by Anonymousreply 19June 6, 2022 12:18 AM

R16, also, you are very obviously bitter and triggered that I asked a simple question. Based on your hysterical responses and “policing masculinity” nonsense, you aren’t fooling anyone with the “sloppy badly-dressed straight guy” description. Lolol

by Anonymousreply 20June 6, 2022 12:21 AM

OP is right, and the triggered responses of all these people prove his point.

Men in the gay world HAVE gotten femmier and femmier as the years have passed, and the NYC crowd is as feminine as ever.

I think it’s because gay culture has become so mainstreamed there are so many messages as to “how” to be gay: and the young gay men are taught as teens at this point to flame it up.

Masc, secure, chill gay men are a rarity, which is why they’re so sought after.

by Anonymousreply 21June 6, 2022 12:23 AM

Why does this question threaten and trigger you so much, dear R16? Hopefully you haven’t passed out from all the hyperventilating. 😕

by Anonymousreply 22June 6, 2022 12:23 AM

Thank you, R21.

by Anonymousreply 23June 6, 2022 12:24 AM

I blame Marc Jacobs. His feminine fragrances smell better than his men's and queens do get entranced.

by Anonymousreply 24June 6, 2022 12:33 AM

I hear the most paint-removing shrill, nasal gay upspeak voices from gays on the street. It seems like younger gay guys, I mean "queers" really are very nelly. It's all the rage. Do all these bottoms have to get into catfights with all the other bottoms to find a top?

by Anonymousreply 25June 6, 2022 12:59 AM

r12, you can see here.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 26June 6, 2022 1:09 AM

Good question R25. So if being very nelly is all the rage these days… then why do so many of these same nelly “queers” go bananas when the rare masc type dude bro gives them a millisecond of attention? wouldn’t you think that they wish to embody the same characteristics of men that they ultimately desire? What am I missing here?

by Anonymousreply 27June 6, 2022 1:10 AM

Occam's Razor OP: Now that straight people under 40 are not reflexively homophobic, the guys you are looking for avoid "The Gay Scene" and rely on Grindr and other apps for casual sex

Happens with all other ethnic groups too-- as acceptance grows, th ghetto becomes much more ghetto

by Anonymousreply 28June 6, 2022 1:18 AM

I’m 68 and gay men are not more or less feminine or masculine now as opposed to the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s or 2000’s. Rather the OP is full of shit- doesn’t like genuine gay men. Go pick up closeted men in the Oak room OP, where you belong.

by Anonymousreply 29June 6, 2022 1:50 AM

Easier to find sex on the apps.

by Anonymousreply 30June 6, 2022 1:57 AM

Doesn’t like feminine gay men- sorry for autocorrect.

by Anonymousreply 31June 6, 2022 2:02 AM

R28, great point. I’ve strongly suspected this too. I’ve realized that the hottest and most masculine guys I’ve hooked up with the last few years have been almost entirely from the apps. annoying as I’ve actually always preferred finding them in the bars. It is what it is I guess.

R29, with all due respect - given your age, you’re really in no position to opine on this lol sorry.

by Anonymousreply 32June 6, 2022 2:05 AM

The average homo you see at any given gay bar now in 2022 is definitely more feminine-looking than what you would’ve seen 10 (hell I’d even say 5) years ago. At least in NYC.

I don’t know what world you’re living in R29, but if you really believe what you’ve typed, then you either don’t go out much now or are just extremely out of touch.

by Anonymousreply 33June 6, 2022 2:08 AM

So the people here ignorant of real social science and the dynamics of the gay experience merely are here to cherry-pick responses that validate their biases with bad data.

Trolls, ladies.


by Anonymousreply 34June 6, 2022 2:09 AM

R30, I don’t know. Sex with any hole or dick, sure. But not if you’re somewhat discerning. Maybe when Grindr was still kind of new, but now to get *good quality* masculine, fit dick on Grindr, you have to wade through of time-wasting, catfishing, BSing, etc. Then when you think you’ve sealed the deal, the other guy gets cold feet, wants to reschedule, or keeps pushing the time to later, etc.

For the above reasons I usually find it a PIA to casually hookup these days, (and as mentioned above by someone else, many of these dudes apparently aren’t the type to frequent the bars to begin with - figures) - so when I find good quality dick, I try to maintain that relationship as a FWB (or dating… if they seem normal and the sex is really that good).

by Anonymousreply 35June 6, 2022 2:19 AM

They never did

by Anonymousreply 36June 22, 2022 2:46 PM

I used to be scared of going out to gay bars. Occasionally I do now, with some more confidence.

by Anonymousreply 37June 22, 2022 2:47 PM

Smart masc gays use grindr and scruff. Scruff is much better than Grindr overall, but there's some prime meat that only uses grindr still, so you have to have it even if it's mostly weirdos, flakes, etc.

by Anonymousreply 38June 22, 2022 3:07 PM

Scruff and Grindr are cesspools of STD-infected lowlifes and desperate urchins. You aren’t gonna find hot mainstream hunks and bros on those sleazy platforms.

by Anonymousreply 39June 22, 2022 3:22 PM

[quote] hot mainstream hunks and bros


by Anonymousreply 40June 22, 2022 3:33 PM

Uh yeah

by Anonymousreply 41June 22, 2022 4:17 PM

The femme gays are always ON and think other gays should be as well. Low-key gays will be accused of being dull and not having enough pizzaz. They’ll be mocked and ostracised in gay bars, even if they’re attractive.

by Anonymousreply 42June 22, 2022 4:52 PM

R42 have you ever gone to a gay bar?

by Anonymousreply 43June 22, 2022 5:04 PM

Show us on the doll where the apps hurt you, r39.

by Anonymousreply 44June 22, 2022 5:34 PM

Umm….EVERYONE is a little more femme nowadays. The days of “macho/masc” are long gone. The prototype straight guy is Harry Styles - who would fit right in at the gay bars. Masculinity is dead.

by Anonymousreply 45June 23, 2022 1:10 AM

r41 don't forget that "queer studies" is a subset of feminist studies and thus views gay men with a feminist lens... to combat its homophoboci rad fem roots instead it suggests that masculine gays are self hating and that all gay men have to rid themselves of masculinity in order to be authentic. Even worse if they're tops or vers to which then it's an infection of toxic masculinity. . . because all bottoms are actually just inferior versions of the fraus they so desperately want to be.

by Anonymousreply 46June 23, 2022 1:19 AM

while rad fems continue to embrace:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 47June 23, 2022 1:21 AM

3 dollar bill is a very masculine bar. Very he-man types.

by Anonymousreply 48June 23, 2022 1:34 AM

This was a long time ago now but I would go to the Works on the Upper west side in Manhattan in the mid to late 1990's. There were lots of good looking straight acting preppy/yuppy types in the bar on a Thursday night ( $1 Margaritas) or the Sunday night beer blast.

OP- Maybe one of those sports bars might attracted a more masculine type of guy- bars like Boxers or Gym bar. I used to go to Gym bar with my softball team and later my volleyball team after we played.

by Anonymousreply 49June 23, 2022 1:44 AM

R45, lol speak for yourself. Literally lol’Ed at the Harry Styles example. Are you a 20 year non-binary trans? 😂😂😂😂

by Anonymousreply 50June 23, 2022 4:19 AM

Every decade has had its version of the "gay clone" and now it has become the "queer clone". 70s was tight Wranglers or short shorts, 90s was grunge with Timberland boots and underwear band pulled up to see the label. Now it's blue haired "woo!woo!" boys and girls, i.e. Fibro-support club meetings. They cannot orgasm due to medications but love to go out to show off their latest LEWK.

by Anonymousreply 51June 24, 2022 3:30 PM

Maybe some men have finally caught on that it’s easier and more fun to pick up a guy in a straight bar.

by Anonymousreply 52June 24, 2022 3:34 PM

In WeHo the current LEWK for the baby gays is some sort of crop tank top, slut shorts, tube socks and sneakers.

And a belt bag/fanny pack for their douche nozzle and lube.

by Anonymousreply 53June 24, 2022 3:38 PM

[quote] While the bars always had a good # of fem and twinkish types...

Of course OP, you'll find more of them and Trans. They are the only ones who have a distinctive gay lifestyle today. The socalled masculine gays are busy playing hetero with babies, team sports, and white picket fences.

by Anonymousreply 54June 24, 2022 3:43 PM
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