Do you feel pressured by society and peers to be an over-the-top cartoon gay? Like you always have to be peppy and flamboyant? That you have to wear fun tshirts and go to drag shows? You need to affect a gay voice and be submissive to make people feel less threatened by your presence?
Pressure to be a Cartoon Gay
|by Anonymous||reply 27||June 23, 2022 9:05 AM|
No, I’m an obese recluse.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||June 4, 2022 4:09 AM|
There was a bit of pressure to do that when I first came out, so I thought fuck that and did the exact opposite.
Whatever the current gay stereotypes were I did the opposite. And had a shitload of fun
|by Anonymous||reply 2||June 4, 2022 4:10 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 3||June 4, 2022 4:15 AM|
Yes- my family is constantly asking my opinion on clothes or decorating, which I know very little about. But anyone with vision can see that dress and those shoes are disastrous together. That opinion has nothing to do with being gay.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||June 4, 2022 4:17 AM|
I've given up trying to care what anybody thinks. Straight people think I'm gay, and gay people think I'm more straight, and the LGBTQ@+etc... tend to think I'm a bigoted heretic.
I'm just me.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||June 4, 2022 5:31 AM|
As a middle aged actor who rarely is offered gay roles to audition for you should see the shitty stereotype garbage scripts I get.
One was for a play that was so cringeworthy (I wasn't cast) that I bought a ticket to see if it was possible they would play it as written. They did. It was torture. Oh, and written by a young "queer" author!
|by Anonymous||reply 6||June 4, 2022 6:32 AM|
I'm a gay cartoon who likes to bareback.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||June 4, 2022 6:43 AM|
No but it doesn’t matter if you are or not, some people will perceive you that way anyways because you’re gay.
I’ll never forget talking to this girl outside a bar I met and when her friend approached us and she was explaining the funny conversation we just had to her friend, when she was imitating me to repeat what I had said, she did it in this flamboyant over the top animated gay man voice and mannerisms that were nothing like me. Totally homophobic.
We should make a thread on subtle homophobia experiences. I remember getting out of work late in Salem during Halloween which would have been like 10 PM and I’m waiting for an Uber and this girl walks up to me and says shit like I’m special and seem like a nice person and all this shit about how I’ll find happiness and blah blah blah. Assumed I was this lonely gay victim who needed a straight woman to give me some confidence for my low self esteem. Again, the total opposite of me.
And I feel like that ties into the idea of how some gays are just assumed of be these raging stereotypical queens.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||June 4, 2022 6:55 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 9||June 4, 2022 6:59 AM|
Yeah back in the 90s maybe. Now it’s not novel. Nobody cares or even bars an eye anymore.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||June 4, 2022 7:11 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 11||June 4, 2022 7:11 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 12||June 4, 2022 7:39 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 13||June 4, 2022 8:12 AM|
R8 if this stuff happens to you regularly, you may be more flaming than you think. Not being snarky here. Well, a little bit. It’s Saturday.
OP: No, never happens to me but then again people ask me about my wife or girlfriend, even kids. Gross!
|by Anonymous||reply 14||June 4, 2022 8:20 AM|
In the society I grew up, on Balkans, I felt more pressure to act masculine and play it though.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||June 4, 2022 8:54 AM|
I'm too boring and antisocial to be a flaming A-gay.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||June 4, 2022 11:51 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 17||June 13, 2022 12:35 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 18||June 13, 2022 12:37 AM|
I ignore straight women trying to infiltrate their way into any involvement in my gay life. This means especially females in the gay clubs I go to. They've gotten angry and accused me of trying to stop their fun, but I am not their circus clown. Chances are you never see them again anyway. They are not allies.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||June 13, 2022 12:41 AM|
No I'm in the closet.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||June 13, 2022 12:44 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 21||June 13, 2022 11:36 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 22||June 22, 2022 1:51 PM|
Of course the new Father of the Bride movie had the gay as a pink silk suit wearing queen who they dropped in like a non-threatening token
|by Anonymous||reply 23||June 22, 2022 1:52 PM|
I was entertained/amused by the "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" dudes back about 15 years ago (not the tiresome retread). At the time I thought they were doing good work for LGBT visibility and mainstream acceptance.
But now I see that they were also enforcing a cultural stereotype (see also SATC) that we exist to service straight people and straight institutions--as their jesters/glam squad/personal stylists/lifestyle gurus/comic relief.
I'm not good at any of those jobs (thank god) and I certainly don't want to do it (unpaid) for some straight girl (or guy).
|by Anonymous||reply 24||June 22, 2022 2:03 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 25||June 23, 2022 5:05 AM|
R24 I aint good at any of them jobs neither (well I can do comic relief sometimes but not in the way you're referring to). I dont think anyone's gonna hire me as a personal stylist any time soon neither.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||June 23, 2022 6:51 AM|
I think I do fall into this trap, but it wasn't intentional. I do love fashion and shopping for clothes, and enjoy discussing toiletries and cosmetics with my girlfriends and gayfriends.
There are limits, though. I won't 'assess' someone's outfit, because I find it embarrassing. So if someone asks, I'll just confirm what I suspect they already feel.
It's in my nature to try and be funny in social situations, but it's really difficult when you're battling depression. I feel pressured to be a witty gay, but I could do without the expectation.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||June 23, 2022 9:05 AM|