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Pressure to be a Cartoon Gay

Do you feel pressured by society and peers to be an over-the-top cartoon gay? Like you always have to be peppy and flamboyant? That you have to wear fun tshirts and go to drag shows? You need to affect a gay voice and be submissive to make people feel less threatened by your presence?

by Anonymousreply 27June 23, 2022 9:05 AM

No, I’m an obese recluse.

by Anonymousreply 1June 4, 2022 4:09 AM

There was a bit of pressure to do that when I first came out, so I thought fuck that and did the exact opposite.

Whatever the current gay stereotypes were I did the opposite. And had a shitload of fun

by Anonymousreply 2June 4, 2022 4:10 AM


by Anonymousreply 3June 4, 2022 4:15 AM

Yes- my family is constantly asking my opinion on clothes or decorating, which I know very little about. But anyone with vision can see that dress and those shoes are disastrous together. That opinion has nothing to do with being gay.

by Anonymousreply 4June 4, 2022 4:17 AM

I've given up trying to care what anybody thinks. Straight people think I'm gay, and gay people think I'm more straight, and the LGBTQ@+etc... tend to think I'm a bigoted heretic.

I'm just me.

by Anonymousreply 5June 4, 2022 5:31 AM

As a middle aged actor who rarely is offered gay roles to audition for you should see the shitty stereotype garbage scripts I get.

One was for a play that was so cringeworthy (I wasn't cast) that I bought a ticket to see if it was possible they would play it as written. They did. It was torture. Oh, and written by a young "queer" author!

by Anonymousreply 6June 4, 2022 6:32 AM

I'm a gay cartoon who likes to bareback.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 7June 4, 2022 6:43 AM

No but it doesn’t matter if you are or not, some people will perceive you that way anyways because you’re gay.

I’ll never forget talking to this girl outside a bar I met and when her friend approached us and she was explaining the funny conversation we just had to her friend, when she was imitating me to repeat what I had said, she did it in this flamboyant over the top animated gay man voice and mannerisms that were nothing like me. Totally homophobic.

We should make a thread on subtle homophobia experiences. I remember getting out of work late in Salem during Halloween which would have been like 10 PM and I’m waiting for an Uber and this girl walks up to me and says shit like I’m special and seem like a nice person and all this shit about how I’ll find happiness and blah blah blah. Assumed I was this lonely gay victim who needed a straight woman to give me some confidence for my low self esteem. Again, the total opposite of me.

And I feel like that ties into the idea of how some gays are just assumed of be these raging stereotypical queens.

by Anonymousreply 8June 4, 2022 6:55 AM


by Anonymousreply 9June 4, 2022 6:59 AM

Yeah back in the 90s maybe. Now it’s not novel. Nobody cares or even bars an eye anymore.

by Anonymousreply 10June 4, 2022 7:11 AM


by Anonymousreply 11June 4, 2022 7:11 AM

No, never.

by Anonymousreply 12June 4, 2022 7:39 AM


by Anonymousreply 13June 4, 2022 8:12 AM

R8 if this stuff happens to you regularly, you may be more flaming than you think. Not being snarky here. Well, a little bit. It’s Saturday.

OP: No, never happens to me but then again people ask me about my wife or girlfriend, even kids. Gross!

by Anonymousreply 14June 4, 2022 8:20 AM

In the society I grew up, on Balkans, I felt more pressure to act masculine and play it though.

by Anonymousreply 15June 4, 2022 8:54 AM

I'm too boring and antisocial to be a flaming A-gay.

by Anonymousreply 16June 4, 2022 11:51 AM

Yasssss Kween!!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 17June 13, 2022 12:35 AM


by Anonymousreply 18June 13, 2022 12:37 AM

I ignore straight women trying to infiltrate their way into any involvement in my gay life. This means especially females in the gay clubs I go to. They've gotten angry and accused me of trying to stop their fun, but I am not their circus clown. Chances are you never see them again anyway. They are not allies.

by Anonymousreply 19June 13, 2022 12:41 AM

No I'm in the closet.

by Anonymousreply 20June 13, 2022 12:44 AM


by Anonymousreply 21June 13, 2022 11:36 PM

Bowen Yang

by Anonymousreply 22June 22, 2022 1:51 PM

Of course the new Father of the Bride movie had the gay as a pink silk suit wearing queen who they dropped in like a non-threatening token

by Anonymousreply 23June 22, 2022 1:52 PM

I was entertained/amused by the "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" dudes back about 15 years ago (not the tiresome retread). At the time I thought they were doing good work for LGBT visibility and mainstream acceptance.

But now I see that they were also enforcing a cultural stereotype (see also SATC) that we exist to service straight people and straight institutions--as their jesters/glam squad/personal stylists/lifestyle gurus/comic relief.

I'm not good at any of those jobs (thank god) and I certainly don't want to do it (unpaid) for some straight girl (or guy).

by Anonymousreply 24June 22, 2022 2:03 PM


by Anonymousreply 25June 23, 2022 5:05 AM

R24 I aint good at any of them jobs neither (well I can do comic relief sometimes but not in the way you're referring to). I dont think anyone's gonna hire me as a personal stylist any time soon neither.

by Anonymousreply 26June 23, 2022 6:51 AM

I think I do fall into this trap, but it wasn't intentional. I do love fashion and shopping for clothes, and enjoy discussing toiletries and cosmetics with my girlfriends and gayfriends.

There are limits, though. I won't 'assess' someone's outfit, because I find it embarrassing. So if someone asks, I'll just confirm what I suspect they already feel.

It's in my nature to try and be funny in social situations, but it's really difficult when you're battling depression. I feel pressured to be a witty gay, but I could do without the expectation.

by Anonymousreply 27June 23, 2022 9:05 AM
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