What would you do?

Get drunk.

Let your Mom celebrate your birthday, bitch. You can't be that private if you're taking to DL to register your complaint.

If you really hate it that much you're just going to have to explain it to her calmly and respectfully that you don't want the party and it's not up for negotiation. It's pretty simple really.

You can also then arrange to be in Hawaii on the relevant date.

Wrong, R2. DL is a perfect place for private people to rant.

You must realize the party isn't really for you or your uncle. It's for your mother and aunt, so go just as you'd always go to a party for them.

Anyway, you're old enough now to understand that sometimes in life you have no choice. Just be grateful it's not a funeral.

Do R3 and if that doesn't work, definitely do R1. You could also attend for a FEW hours (read: A couple) and then bounce the fuck up outta there. I'm taking..."Oh, that's my Uber, y'all. Gotta go."

^^talking^^

Sounds like they haven't invited people yet or ordered food, so that's good. If it's easy to communicate with your mom, tell her that you appreciate the thought but you're uncomfortable having a birthday party in your honor and would prefer to go out to a relaxed dinner with her (and maybe a couple of relatives or whoever you're close with) to celebrate your birthday, and then when they have the party for your uncle, attend as a guest. Just kindly explain that you're uncomfortable with that kind of attention and prefer to celebrate casually with just a couple of people (if at all). Hopefully she'll want to do what's best for you since you're the birthday boy, and she won't take it personally. Present this idea while in a relaxed, easy-going mood and don't make it all sound too serious.

Fuck that. Do as R3 suggests if you're bothered by it.

People who don't respect the basic wishes of the person they want to hold a celebration only have themselves in mind.

She's known you for 50 years and doesn't know your ways yet? Or she knows that you don't like a fuss made over your birthday but she arranged one anyway, and a two-for-one at that with your uncle.

If you want to be diplomatic, tell her you will help organize a party for family and friends at her next birthday and tell her you'll be more than happy to help and be there for that.

When she's crying and shaking over it, calmly explain that a group of anonymous middle aged homosexuals on an Internet bitch board agreed she was being selfish by showing her love for you in this way.

[quote]She started talking about the people they were planning to invite, food they'd order, if there's was any particular food I wanted, etc

And what did you say in response?

I would wish them the best and just not show up, as I'd feel entitled to do as a reluctant/unwilling celebrant. They really don't need a birthday boy there to proceed, do they? Let them have their day; you don't have to be there. If you want forgiveness, end a deli tray and a cheese cake and they'll be happy to forget you ever existed.

^SEND a deli tray...

obviously you are anti-social and are already having panic attacks just thinking about it. let her know that you can't handle the stress.

If you're private, don't publicize your issues, Mary.

private doesn't equate to anti-social r15

Why are you a party pooper though? 50 seems like a milestone birthday to me. Can’t you get social anxiety meds, and make your mom happy. How much longer will she be able to throw you a birthday party? I am assuming she is at least 68-70.

I don’t think your mother will be around to throw you your major milestone 75th birthday.

Really, it all depends on the scale of your discomfort and displeasure about having to go.

If it's causing you great distress and you can't face being there, R3 is the answer.

But if this party is merely an irritant, I strongly suggest you just suck it up to make your mother happy. It's not necessarily the case that she truly understands your position on not celebrating birthdays. She's doing this because she loves you, and as noted above, she won't be around forever. Perhaps consider going just to make her happy. Think of it as a gift to her, and not anything to do with obligation.

Private means you keep personal matters to yourself.

Who the fuck are you people?

Just be glad OP, that you have someone in your life who wants to throw you a birthday party.

You're turning 50, not 15--act like an adult

Yes it would not be what you would have chosen to do, it probably won't be the sort of party you'd have chosen to have, but so what?

A bunch of people who love and care about you want to celebrate with you

Indulge them and stop being such a whiny ass bitch about it.

OP this is a hard one to give advice on because we know nothing of your history with your mom. I personally wouldn't care if my mom did the same to be, but obviously we're different people.

Sounds like you're REALLY bugged over it. Therefore, nothing good will come of you just going along with it and saying nothing. Talk to your mom about it. Do it after you've calmed down. Don't come at her angry. Just be forthright. If whatever her response is makes you feel more ok about doing it, go for it. Otherwise, its really best to just pull out of it.

You can also tell your mother that you'll be happy to go to your uncle's party, but that you don't want it to be a celebration for you as well, nor a platform for making any fuss over your birthday. Be firm.

Old people love to try to bring strange bedfellows in the family together for reasons buried in the unconscious part of their minds devoted to old grudges and regrets and unresolved matters. The best thing to do is to quash those plans firmly and straightaway. Suggest alternatives if that.makes you feel better.

75, 90, or 100 are milestones, stupid cunt. Most men are lucky to live to 79. Retard.

Look at it this way, what else would you be doing? Dicking around on Netflix? Don't organise anything, just show up, smile, take the presents and make a speech about how you only celebrate birthdays every 50 years.

On the one hand, I think joint birthday parties should be reserved for twins or other people born the same date, not close-ish. On the other hand, 50 years ago your mom lost TEN POUNDS overnight and that kind of weight loss can be celebrated forever, even if she eventually gained it back.

Let him stay home alone. He isn’t sociable.

[quote] middle aged

This is a tough one, OP.

I’m kind of in the camp of there being times when you have to be a big boy and do things you don’t want to do. Gay men are NOTORIOUSLY persnickety; it is what it is. But there are 525,600 minutes in a year — and yes I just quoted Rent — to be weird and particular about stuff (i.e., loud children, mushrooms, fat queens who stand in front of the bathroom and exit, etc). But there are other times when you might go out your BS aside, put on your party dress, plaster on a fake smile and eat done cake. It’s a few hours. How bad can it be?

R10 made me laugh out loud.

OP = John Quinones

I say suck it up and go, but do yourself a favour - make it about your uncle. Say you're happy to go, but insist they focus on him. Say you don't want to take away attention for him. Be prepared with one or two suggestions so as not to seem disinterested, and let them do the rest.

Never thought I'd have to teach someone considerably older than me how to function as an adult, but here we are.

[quote] She started talking about the people they were planning to invite, food they'd order, if there's was any particular food I wanted, etc..

Tell her to order some big Brazilian cock for you, so at least you have something to look forward to.

It seems tacky to not let an old 75 year old man have his OWN birthday party., for god sakes.

Is your family so cheap they can’t drag themselves together for two separate milestone birthdays?

Well it’s not a problem since you don’t want one anyway!

R31 has is perfectly. Make it about your uncle.

OP, 50 is a major milestone. 20-25% of men don't even make it to 65.

How many more birthdays do you think you'll have together?

I feel the same way you do about my birthday. It's an arbitrary day, one of those excuses like weddings that people love because it's an excuse to force others to pay attention to you.

But when others kindly give me any kind of attention—a card, a present, flowers, I appreciate the gesture. I always give people something like this on their birthday and I enjoy doing that because it lets the person know someone is thinking about them. So suck it up and let people say and do nice things for you. There is no reason under the sun to be a jerk to someone because that person wants to treat you well. That would indeed make you a rotten curmudgeon of a human being.

Also, your post got me in the gut. My mom died four years ago. I am 44 years old, younger than you are. You are 50 and your mother wants to celebrate you. Let her celebrate you so that you can celebrate having here on Earth with you. Just hug her and hold her and thank you. Jerk or not, you are what she is most proud of. You're her life's greatest accomplishment as her 'baby' at 50. Give her that. She is the one who did all the work 50 years ago to get you here. Let her love your birthday. Smile a real, genuine smile because you are lucky to have her and others in your life who care about you.

OK? Just be grateful. You are a very lucky person. You have set your mind on 'I don't like birthdays because they are arbitrary' to such an extent that they are not arbitrary and you don't 'not care about' them; you hate them. Stop hating. Start embracing.

Yes, of course say the day should be about Uncle Dan and you don't want to take the attention away from him.

But remember, she's your mother. She'll see right through you.

Have you gained a lot of weight since the last time all these people saw you?

In that case, you don’t have to go until you lose it all.

OP do what I did. I turned thirty a few months back, and my Mom & relatives *decided* they were coming over to fetch me for a celebratory brunch at my grandmother’s in honour of that and my older cousins’ birthday (not a milestone), with a bunch of people in attendance that I hadn’t seen in ten years and don’t like.

So I just got up super early that morning, pulled on my hiking boots, packed some water & snacks, loaded a map on my phone, and hit the road for the day. I walked through forests & fields, took some nature photos, found a lovely grove with a brook to sit down and cloudwatch, did some exploring. It was great, one of my favourite birthdays (usually hate my birthday).

Later when I got back, around late afternoon/early evening, I received an apologetic text from my Mom saying that she knows I don’t like social gatherings or spontaneous surprise celebrations and she didn’t mean to impose, followed by a different less-kind message and a guilt-tripping photo of the brunch spread from my relatives (who I suppose thought it was somehow childish or selfish to dip out).

Whatever, it was my thirtieth, and I didn’t wanna spend it smizing and gritting my teeth at my drunk uncle or his bitchy trophy wife or my Frau cousin or some random family friends, while we all pick over stale fruit baskets and overdone eggs, and exchange stories we’ve told a hundred times before as if we can stand each other.

Disrupt the routine if it’s not working for you, OP.

So many truly disturbed people on DL

Listening to some of these posts you'd think OP was being dragged away to a monastery and forced to join the priesthood against his will, not being asked to sit through a three hour party with some well-meaning relatives.

R39 Yes, me me me. That's what it's all about.

I've never understood why someone who loves you would want you to do something that made you unhappy.

R41 easy to play the martyr, but when you're surrounded by an extended 'family' of performative, status-obsessed, judgemental, Instagramming fakes who try to walk over you? Remaining self-centred and looking after your own interests is the only way to stay sane and preserve a modicum of assertiveness.

R43 Where did all that come from? We're talking about the OP here, who seems to have a fine relationship with his family, just dreads the fuss of a birthday party.

R39, speaking from the vantage point of the age of 50, (I am not the OP, to clarify), I used to behave in a similar fashion.

It cost me quite a bit in the long run.

I don't know where I first heard the following...

Those who always miss the ball/Are in the end not missed at all

But yeah.

Like that.

OP, your mom has one chance to celebrate your 50th. Let her have it for two or three hours. Unless, of course, you think she's a cunt and this is simply another way to twist the knife. In which vase, have at it.

I would dry my eyes and recognise that there are some times in life when it’s not all about me. Take a Valium.

If you don't want it to be about you, then turn it around on her in a loving way. Get her some kind of magnificent present. Present it grandly and thank her for the agonizing work of delivering you to this world and for caring so much for you—even when you take it for granted—for a half century. Make everyone applaud *her* and divert attention from yourself. And mean it. Tell her how much she means to you because when she is gone, she will be gone.

It's your birthday, so if you don't want a party, there shouldn't be one

If she wants to celebrate she can do it without you. Fuck the people who force others into social situations and celebrations. Fuck them right in the ear.

A few years ago my parents were thinking about moving to the city I live in. I told them, you can do what you want, but don't expect to see me all the time, and the first time you try to pressure me into coming over for a holiday, we stop talking.

R48, okay, we get it, you hate your parents.

R45 thanks for the perspective--I appreciate the gesture and the fact you're trying to gently advise and help. . As a person with avoidant maladaptive behaviours, it's useful to have feedback. I'll try to work on it. Tonight I'm thinking of apologising to my mother, and explaining that while I didn't mean to hurt her feelings and take her for granted, I possibly have in this instance.

That said, if you don't provide any context, it does sound a bit like you're finger-wagging and deliberately misunderstanding the context of others. If someone is extremely socially-anxious, comes from a highly-dysfunctional family, or doesn't cope well with change (not your issues, but perhaps the case with OP, and others), it doesn't really help them to chide and click your tongue and dish out chestnuts.

Frankly, your reply was vague and ominous, as idiomatic comments go. What did 'selfish' (often, a castigating way to say someone stands up for themselves) cost you, exactly? How did the intervening years between your 20s and 50s make matters worse? When/how did you come to have change of heart? We can't be expected to take this advice completely to heart without you first sharing the full truth of what you know.

Nope, R49, I don't hate them, but I won't be pressured into social situations by anyone.

If OP doesn't want a party he shouldn't have to submit to one, just because someone else wants to throw him one.

Wow. Your old mom wants to do something nice for you and you just want to shit on her? Wow.

Saying no thank you to a party is not shitting on her R52.

OP, aren't you a little old to be acting like such a child?

If you were the age you are imitating, you would qualify for a birthday celebration by your own terms.

However, since you are old, how about being nice to your uncle and act like it's all really just cover for him to have his big day? Or is your pettiness and asocial grace streaked all the way through you like a big vein of ugly brown fat?

r5 = Uncle Bottom, back with a vengeance!

I would just calmly & kindly tell Mom that I don't want to and will not attend the birthday party.

OP can't attend "only for the uncle's sake." You know darn well if OP attends, it will be JOINT birthday party.

I used to have extreme social anxiety and I have a rather avoidant personality type, and so I sort of get the panicked feeling that could come with this. My mom and I used to have explosive arguments pretty often. She was also the person who understood me best and vice versa, and she is gone now and I would give anything to have her back to thank for everything she ever did for me. I wish there were a way to impart this feeling to someone who still has a loving mother in their life.

[quote]OP, aren't you a little old to be acting like such a child?

Couldn't the same be asked of OP's mother? She's had another 20 years it so on her son, and 50 years and 9 months of adult perception of him. And yet she presses him on a situation that she knows will not be to his liking and will put him ill at ease.

It wouldn't seem she's old enough to have the excuse of dementia.

R50, I haven't time for the Russian novel, but in short, I did not have a happy adolescence, for reasons i will not bore you with, and decided after a while of struggling with depression and self-hatred, to make my feelings known - if not the precise reasons for those feelings.

I alienated every member of my family and turned my back on friends we shared.

I cultivated a professional persona that was unadulterated rage at the smallest imperfections.

I practically spat at any man who dared approach me sexually.

And I immediately dropped acquaintances who asked me personal questions or shared too much about their lives.

I discarded presents unopened, returned holiday cards with ADDRESS UNKNOWN and made caustic insults my response to any kind of compliment.

I had a broad range of social and professional obligations and navigated them to the extent that anyone present would have thought me the belle of the ball. People would comment on my ability to network and all the interesting and glamorous people I "knew".

Then I went home and was completely alone.

At 30, this was bliss.

At 50, post-pandemic, having suffered catastrophic financial losses and facing a chronic pain diagnosis with partial paralysis as well, it is less fun.

Number of people in my family who give a fuck if I live or die = zero. In my profession, reaction to my situation has been a tad short of ding-dong the witch is dead, but not by much. That glittering social scene? Gone viral in the most literal possible way.

I broke all my things and burned all my bridges. Sometimes you can make amends. Sometimes you can't.

And I have never even so much as held another man's hand.

To quote Lily Bart: "I am on the scrap heap. And you don't know what's it like to be on the scrap heap."

Apologize to your mother and to your extended family and let them know you're glad they enjoyed the day and you hope to see them soon (or not).

As for me, when my life ends there will be no finality.

I ended it myself a long time ago.

It certainly is unbecoming for a 50 year old man to make such a fuss.

50 is the beginning of old age, losing loved ones, and being lonely (I'm 55). Tell your Mom that there isn't anyone that you want to invite. Go to the party and stop thinking about yourself and making it about you. Enjoy your Mom and Uncle. Eat some good food. Leave early if you have anxiety. Come up with some excuse (headache, something suddenly came up, whatever). Your Mom and Uncle won't be around much longer (you might not be either). So just try and go and love and appreciate them. Take it for what it is.

My Mom was 77 and in GREAT health. She suddenly got stage 4 brain cancer and was dead in a few months. I wish that she was around to throw me a shitty birthday party.

I also hate birthday parties, forced smiles, and displays of faux affection. I don't mind other people's birthday parties as long as everyone is loaded, cursing, and fucking in the broom closet. I hate the stupid rituals of giving and receiving presents at birthday and Christmas celebrations (except when the recipient of the gift is a child. In those cases the kid is likely to receive a year's worth of condoms or a vibrator, for use in their future) But I digress. I enjoy buying gifts for my friends in a spontaneous way, especially whenI purchase something they would like to have but wouldn't ordinarily buy for themselves. Those gifts don't get wrapped and after the hand-off we go out the door in search of brutal man-meat.

[quote]Old people love to try to bring strange bedfellows in the family together for reasons buried in the unconscious part of their minds devoted to old grudges and regrets and unresolved matters.

OMG r23 you hit the nail on the head...I've noticed my mother doing this more often as she gets older, she will have these family gatherings as olive branches to those she may have had issues with in the past. Its ok with me but I just don't want to be involved with it sometimes, and especially on my birthday.

I also adore my mom and would attend to appease her, but definitely tell her out of respect for my elder's birthday, who's been around way longer than me, I would just like very little attention on my own.

[quote]Why are you a party pooper though? 50 seems like a milestone birthday to me.

r17, parties and social interaction DRAIN certain people, while others find them enjoyable. I like to celebrate things like this by GETTING AWAY from other people, a nice vacation somewhere where I get to relax and answer to no one? That's my idea of a great birthday.

R59 thanks again, this time for your candour and openness. It can't have been easy to share that. Your accountability is nothing short of brave.

Your approach was indeed extreme, and I suppose when we do extreme things we get extreme results. Seemingly, you've made peace, and that's really healthy. I don't mean this in a condescending way at all, but I want to say that it is sad that you blame yourself so vehemently--Past You did what you thought was best at the time, and Past You certainly couldn't have known what would happen later on. The outcome is undeniably unfortunate, but it probably doesn't make the situation better to hurt yourself any more over it. I won't say 'it gets better' or any of those other annoying thought-ender clichés, only that you seem decent and that's a nice personal quality to end up with, even if you're the only one enjoying it.

Wish I could hug you and make you a cuppa, because you are an interesting and refreshing personality (someone who wants to help and show integrity, without obfuscating), and we could both use a mate by the sounds of it. DL has been my social stand-in for ages, probably too long, but there's good people here if you search and share and stay long enough, so perhaps that's ok. In honour of your responses here, I'm inspired to change my ways somewhat, and see if I can mend some fences (not sure it'll work, but I'll give it a good try). Tonight I went out in my garden and had a little cry, and felt my heart lighten slightly, so obviously there's something to your approach.

No one cares that you ruined your life, R59. Just because you (and apparently everyone else) cannot stand to be around your nasty ass, doesn't mean that other people need to socialize when they don't want to. Some of us can avoid social situations without being a rancid cunt and alienating everyone.

R66, ironically, you sound like a thoroughly rancid cunt.

I am addressing a specific topic.

But I am glad to hear that you are able to duck out of the annual party your mother calls "Night of the Torn Condom."

I"m assuming this is a family only event?

If so, you treat it like any other family event that you're not that excited to go to....you grin and bare it for a few hours and retreat to a corner with any cousins you like to sit and bitch about every one else.

If mom is trying to make it into some huge affair with outside guests, then shut her down and tell her you're not going to do that.

And, make it clear you want the focus to be on Uncle 75 and not YOU.

Your mom means well I think so as another poster wrote, take a valium and attend.

R65, my outlook is not entirely bleak but it will involve a great deal of heavy lifting on my part to improve.

I would also say that my family was not some coterie of innocent angels. I tried for years to convince them - from the age of 15 - that I was in need of help and they simply couldn't process it and refused to even talk to me about the situation. I had no power to seek out the help I needed without them. There's a part of me still angry about the way I was ignored.

Assuming your situation is different, be aware that people can be genuinely unaware of what's like to have depression or trauma or other conditions. They're not trying to wreck your day. And sometimes it's better to let things slide if you can and meet them halfway. Emphasis on "if you can" of course.

And thanks for the virtual cuppa.

[quote] grin and bare it for a few hours and retreat to a corner

Oh, dear.

You are a HUGE SELFISH CUNT.

Could you not spend an hour letting people in your family express love and affection to you? Jesus fucking Christ, not an HOUR, even?

For fucks' sake, we'll all be dead soon enough. Pick another day to kick puppies and children, or another day to hire an escort to celebrate your day.

[quote] grin and bare it for a few hours and retreat to a corner

Noted!

Stay home and cry.

OP never came back, correct?

Very clearly tell them this is not something you are comfortable with and remind your mother that she knows this already. Then arrange to be out of town. Do not let them push you into this. It's disrespectful and in no way should you let them get away with pushing you into it.

OP back here to say I appreciate all of your posts. You guys gave me some things to think about but I'm still undecided.

I still want no part of this yet I understand that I'd be letting my mom down and that if I just go I'd make her happy. We're close, do lots together and I understand that she just wants to do something nice for me. I'm emotionally unavailable though, always have been, and it's always been difficult for me to accept love/affection or take compliments from others. That, coupled with a bit of social anxiety makes a birthday celebration for me a bit panic inducing.

Understand all of the above, but as someone who used to suffer quite bad anxiety, I can tell you from experience that normalising exposure to situations that make you anxious, rather than retreating from them, is the only way you are ever going to get rid of these feelings.

Yep, R78 is unfortunately correct.

After a decade of increasingly worsening avoidant behaviours, I’m having to implement exposure therapy just to do things like get groceries or sit at a bar or apply for new jobs, and it is humiliating and uncomfortable to say the least. It makes you feel like a special-needs case or a dependent child to have to baby-step through normal adult human interactions. But this will only result if you allow anxiety to run your life and shrink your world.

R79 You sound like an actual retard, so good job.

R80 wow, thanks so much for that...astute comment...sure to help OP and others...and enlighten us all about the matter at hand...

Retards are like pedophiles, they need love too. Like R81

Don't show up to the party, OP.

Problem solved.

You are your moms "baby" no matter the age. The birthday is sort of a celebration for parents too. Dont want a huge party? Thats fine, just tell her you want the focus to be on your uncle. But to be honest 50 is a big milestone too and you should be grateful you still have family around to celebrate it with.

Advice: go to the party, make the most of it, if someone hands you a gift, smile and say oh thanks you shouldnt have, enjoy and cak and graxy and booze. Focus on your uncle which will take some of the anxiety away for you too. Try to spend your time talking to the family members that you do enjoy and get along with. Invite a close friend or two so youre not stuck talking only to family. Sometimes anxiety makes you picture the worst case scenario, and it turns out to not be not as bad as you thought.

Show up naked. They’ll laugh

[Quote]I'm emotionally unavailable though, always have been, and it's always been difficult for me to accept love/affection or take compliments from others.

R77 - the universe has decided to have you around, therefore you are loved and worthy. To think otherwise is to imply the universe made a mistake. Your family wants to celebrate your life.

[Quote]That, coupled with a bit of social anxiety makes a birthday celebration for me a bit panic inducing.

Just make a thread & post updates here on the big day. Your DL family will celebrate with you, entertain you with sarcasm and utterly pointless and bitchy commentary.

People who love Trump use the words retard and cunt. Grow the fuck up.

Be thankful you have people in your life who care about you enough to do this. It doesn’t matter if you want it or not. Just appreciate the love.

Read an article recently about a guy who sued his employer after he asked them not to have an office birthday party for him because he suffers from panic attacks and they had a party for him anyway.

He won the lawsuit.

Can you sue? There has been a precedence of sorts set.

r86 has a good idea -- live post throughout the party, like an Oscar thread, and keep your eyes glued to the screen, look up only to observe something to post, and the party'll go by in a flash. Of course after this (antisocial) behavior you won't be invited to any more parties, so it's win-win for you...!

Put the kabosh on it. Tell your mother when you were a boy you were in love with your uncle and threw yourself at him. He felt the same way and took you to the happiest place on earth-Fire Island. You hope to marry him and ask for her blessing. This will confuse her and take the wind out of her sails.

UGH, all of the posters giving the OP the business really need to eat shit. Maybe he/she actually hates their family. Maybe they make him/her fucking uncomfortable. My relatives are loud, ghetto, AND treated me like a floating turd when I was younger. Traumatizing shit. I would rather not spend time with them. I don't WANT that stress or NEED any repressed memories making encores. So fuck you AND your "Grow up and get over it" bullshit.

OP asked what YOU would do in THIS situation. They didn't ask you to rate them on an evolutionary scale.

Yes, you would think that OP going to a birthday party his mother knows he expressly doesn't want is a sort of seance, a surrogate act on the off chance it might bring bay some DLer's dear departed ("too soon at 106!") Mother even for a few minutes, or even just the faintest flicker of a candle ("she was so very frail at the end.")

Oh good i sympathize with you OP. A party is tolerable but all that fake bonhomie and birthday cheer, the singing, the speeches, the presents, the thank yous. Why, i need to lie down just thinking about it. Where's my fainting couch?

[quote]What would you do?

Get up off my feet, and stop making tired excuses

Damn, r95.

Taking me back to high school with that, lol.

When your mom is dead, you'll regret being so selfish. As if you can't cave in this one time, with a "never again, mom" speech to her.

I take it OP isn’t one to take others’ happiness into consideration.

It’s all me me MEEEEE!