In the highly-anticipated interview with Joe Budden, Isaiah Rashad spoke out for the first time regarding a leaked sex tape of him in bed with another man. The Top Dawg Entertainment artist revealed to The Joe Budden Podcast host that he identifies as “sexually fluid” and that he isn’t interested in pressing charges against the person who leaked the video as he’s trying to “keep his mind together.” However, throughout the full interview, Isaiah’s sexual preference wasn’t nearly as important of a topic as his mental health during and after the public scandal.
The 31-year-old artist admitted to spiraling into a dark place and felt responsible for his family, friends, and peers and how they’d be affected by association following the leak. Rashad revealed he had two separate car wrecks, but expressed that he attempted to transition himself at the time of the first accident. He also shared how his grandfather passed away on the day after the leak.
“The first couple days were kind of weird for me because I wrecked my fu**ing car, I was super in my head. I felt more so responsible for my family and stuff,” Isaiah told Budden. “My grandma was going through this cancer stuff already, my granddad has just had a stroke and died … like he died the next day after that sh*t. I’m thinking like did the shock … did he see the tape, did it kill him? It’s not a joke…but I can laugh at it now. But I was dead a**.”
“He knew everything,” he continued about his late grandfather. “He was one of the last people who told me ‘whatever you do man you just gotta take care of yourself…’ then that sh*t happened [the tape] and then he called me and was like, ‘Are you alright?’ I’m like, ‘Yeah, I’m cool.’ He’s like, ‘Nah, you ain’t alright.’ I’m like, “I’ma be aight though’ … and the next day, he died the next day. Well, two days later.”
Rashad opened up about how he’s coped with depression in the past by cutting himself. He also made it known that if he really wanted to transition himself he could have done it already. “When I drove my car into that wall and didn’t die … then it was different,” he said. “I was ready for it to be over.”
After denying having a feeling of the “superman complex” following a near-death experience, Isaiah told Budden that he’s tapped into the feeling of “having a reason to be here.” He shared that at first, he felt it would be better if he wasn’t alive so his children wouldn’t have to deal with the effects of his actions.
Despite those initial feelings, Isaiah concluded that community is what’s most important to him right now. Above all, he wants to use his music as a vessel for those who have struggled with depression. Going forward, he is limiting who has access to him. He stated that he has changed his phone number and iCloud information, and will be considering NDA agreements. Isaiah Rashad shared that he does have new music on the way. He is now considering unapologetically baring how he feels and touching on topics he didn’t dare put in his music.