I called the police on maskless deplorable in the gayborhood
I had to do it. I live in a suburb of Portland, and there was some backwoods podunk deplorable driving slowly down my street in a pickup. He drove his pickup twice down the street, killed the engine, got out, and scoped the gayborhood. He then got back in, and coal rolled all the way down the road. He was maskless, of course, and many families in my street have underlying conditions. I am overweight and have hypertension. My youngest adopted son has asthma. The couple next door both have diabetes. So I called the police and said the deplorable shitstain was coal rolling and honking the horn at high volume.
I went out of the house and went to confront him. A black plume of smoke chugged out of his pickup. He killed the engine and got out. I was terrified. He was huge. 6'4:" and at least 280 pounds of mostly muscle. He was wearing tight, unwashed, worn jeans and a plaid shirt. He was lathered in sweat and coal roll smoke. He must have been early 40s, balding, square-buzzed beard, colossal shoulders. He was jacked and mascular as fuck. Totally straight acting. He took off his checked plaid shirt and revealed his enormous hairy chest. His pecs was like boulders. He then started bouncing his pecs. It was so hot, masc, and str8. It was totally dickmatized. My puny inferior faggot cocklet unfurled in my Spanx and stood humiliatingly to attention. The deplorable degraded me with homophobic and misogynist blame language while bouncing his pecs. His cock was getting harder as he verbally degraded me. He wasn't wearing no underwear, and I could see his basket grow. I moaned homosexually and licked my lips anticipating the mouthful of cheesy, unwashed, manmeat that would soon plunge the depths of my faggot filth trench.
Before he could use my asspussy like the worthless human cumdump that it is, the police arrived. They asked what the fuck was going on. The deplorable started bouncing his pecs and the police pigs was dickmatized! They were overweight, masc, moustachioed old school policemen. White ethnic, maybe two micks though one of them could have been a dagowop deplorable. They got hard and started jerking themselves off watching the deplorable bounce his pecs! It was all so fucking masc. I fell to my knees to fellate the superior, masc, str8 police, and the deplorable unbuttoned his worn jeans to reveal his mater rod of pleasure and pain. It must have been 7 inches and thicker than a fag's wrist. Before I knew it, his bloated balls blasted butt babies up my busted butt. Daddy's sperms was running out of my shitpussy, while I hungrily fellashed the cops who were bellowing homophobic slurs and slapping me around with their nightsticks.
The police ended up doing nothing. And the deplorable just coal rolled another gayborhood.
| by Anonymous | reply 42 | June 9, 2022 12:17 AM
|
R1 I'm glad you don't have to deal with deplorables, but here in Portland flyoverstan is just next door.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | May 29, 2022 4:47 AM
|
Another pointless thread. You're on a shit roll.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | May 29, 2022 4:52 AM
|
R4 huh? You fucked the Uvalde nurse too?
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | May 29, 2022 4:54 AM
|
OP’s post made me laugh but I’m totally high on the pot rn
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | May 29, 2022 4:59 AM
|
99% sure this didn't happen. But, OP sounds so insufferable I hope he really choked them out while rolling coal.
R6 Me, too.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | May 29, 2022 5:00 AM
|
OP, j adore you. I rarely laugh out loud and your posts always make me laugh and I just had tears in my eyes...I think you're the built like a brick shit house troll or whatever the fuck that phrase is you use.
You're funny, and a talented writer. Don't stop doing these once every 1-2 months.
Thanks
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | May 29, 2022 5:16 AM
|
R6 Same here and it hit me just right
I laughed, I cried, I went turgid
Fin
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | May 29, 2022 5:23 AM
|
How's your puny cocklet, OP?
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | May 29, 2022 5:23 AM
|
The couple next door both have diabetes.
Holy shit
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | May 29, 2022 5:26 AM
|
Totally straight acting — bouncing his pecs
Gold
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | May 29, 2022 5:27 AM
|
-99999/10
Fucking TL;DR.
And fuck you, Shit Brickhouse Troll OP! Gag & Die!
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | May 29, 2022 5:30 AM
|
Hmm never visiting Portland.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | May 29, 2022 5:43 AM
|
In May 2015, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie signed a bill into law prohibiting the retrofitting of diesel-powered vehicles to increase particulate emissions for the purpose of coal rolling. Those found in violation are subject to a fine by the state's Department of Environmental Protection.
The bill was introduced by state Assemblyman Tim Eustace after a pickup truck blasted smoke at Eustace's Nissan Leaf while driving on the New Jersey Turnpike. 😂😂😂
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | May 29, 2022 6:34 AM
|
'I moaned homosexually'
Is this a skill worth learning, OP?
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | May 29, 2022 7:13 AM
|
'his bloated balls blasted butt babies '......this bit was lifted from a Shakespeare play. Thief!!!
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | May 29, 2022 7:21 AM
|
WHET Colton, Packer and Mackenzie?
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | May 29, 2022 11:55 AM
|
Colton got into Reed college, thanks for asking! His Grindr exploded when he went there for a campus visit!
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | June 5, 2022 12:41 AM
|
Hahaha. This might be your best one yet, OP.
Some highlights for me: [bold]"My puny inferior faggot cocklet unfurled in my Spanx and stood humiliatingly to attention" -- "I moaned homosexually" -- "It must have been 7 inches and thicker than a fag's wrist" -- "my shitpussy,"[/bold]
And I feel bad for R13. What a joyless life they must lead.
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | June 5, 2022 1:18 AM
|
I can't stop thinking about the phrase, "I moaned homosexually."
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | June 5, 2022 1:31 AM
|
Where was your husbear and why didn't he protect you, Colton and Packer?
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | June 5, 2022 1:34 AM
|
R22 my husbear works full time (I think he should retire since he has over 3 million in his 401K). I'm a housebottom so I'm around most of the day.
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | June 5, 2022 1:39 AM
|
What the hell is a "coal roll"?
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | June 5, 2022 1:41 AM
|
I’m also curious what coal rolling is.
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | June 5, 2022 1:58 AM
|
Apparently it's a deplorable pastime.
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | June 5, 2022 1:59 AM
|
I'm so proud of OP for kind of knowing what rolling coal is. So masc.
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | June 5, 2022 2:27 AM
|
Another Defacto troll thread.
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | June 5, 2022 2:30 AM
|
[quote]Portland
OR or ME? It makes a difference in this made-up story.
| by Anonymous | reply 30 | June 5, 2022 2:34 AM
|
R30 this is true and it’s Portland Oregon.
| by Anonymous | reply 31 | June 5, 2022 2:35 AM
|
It's lies.
I lived in suburban Ptown. No one gives a fuck.
You can't guard against "deplorables" there. If they aren't college students (whatever this generation's hipster is), they are square center of "basic white people" and there's not much difference between the two. Not enough to notice.
The area had heavy infiltration from the south immediately after the civil war. All those people that pride themselves that their ancestors came via "the Trail" are about as bad as the Daughters of the American Revolution.
And in Ptown proper no one will notice or care.
People up there take MYOB seriously.
| by Anonymous | reply 32 | June 5, 2022 2:46 AM
|
And people own trucks and SUVs in suburban Portland, so there's no way to tell either.
| by Anonymous | reply 33 | June 5, 2022 2:47 AM
|
OP, your husbear is a pussy for not protecting you and for not beating some sense into you. No matter how many times you tangle with str8, masc cops, you never learn your lesson. One of these days you're going to bite off more than you can chew.
| by Anonymous | reply 34 | June 5, 2022 2:54 AM
|
I am in awe of the intellectual luminaries here who have managed to cunningly deduce that this story may not be altogether true.
| by Anonymous | reply 35 | June 5, 2022 3:41 AM
|
C'mon Shirley, you know you're doing is bad for the community.
| by Anonymous | reply 36 | June 5, 2022 4:16 AM
|
OP this would make a great gay porn movie.
Ever consider writing porn movies?
| by Anonymous | reply 37 | June 5, 2022 4:25 AM
|
OP, ever consider blowing your brains out?
| by Anonymous | reply 38 | June 5, 2022 5:52 AM
|
[quote]It's lies. I lived in suburban Ptown. No one gives a fuck. You can't guard against "deplorables" there
Do we feel bad for R32 or do we just laugh and point?
| by Anonymous | reply 39 | June 5, 2022 6:08 AM
|
R38 that’s not funny. I attempted suicide multiple times in my 20s.
| by Anonymous | reply 41 | June 8, 2022 11:26 PM
|
Pity you failed OP. Your literary prose "My puny inferior faggot cocklet" truly shows the inane depth of your trollery.
| by Anonymous | reply 42 | June 9, 2022 12:17 AM
|
