Let's be a married Mormon couple

I'm the seven children they'll have regardless.

I’m the incognito browser window showing Mormonboyz.com that’s viewed late at night, on his phone, in the bathroom.

I am the constant business trips and the overclose relationship he still has with the guy he did mission work in Columbia with 20 years ago.

I'm the poor, mousy wife.

R3 Mormons attend BYU, not Columbia.

I’m the wife’s longing for sister wives 😏

I’m blog/Instagram influencer career the morman wife is trying to get off the ground so she has something to do while the kids are at school and the cleaning ladies are doing the laundry etc. . I try to portray us as the picture perfect family and slide links to the LDS website in between flogging teeth whitening products and kids clothing and nana’s blueberry banana bread recipe that I always have time to make despite being oh so busy. # momlife # bestlife

I'm the wife's sneaking suspicion that her husband's odd behavior is because ... he's been drinking caffeine.

I'm the wife cluelessly bragging to her friends:

"A lot of husbands let themselves get fat, but not Jim! He's always going to the gym! Sometimes he even goes at 3am"

I’m the “crazy girls night out” at the local Italian restaurant in Provo with other mom friends where we let loose, order the grilled chicken salads, share one slice of dessert across 7 women and get silly after drinking too many diet cokes ( but never coffee cause it has caffeine).

R9 He's gotta stay jacked, it's just who he is.

I’m the couple’s teeth wondering ‘How do I rip off those sexy undergarments with my choppers?’

I’m the turkey baster that ONLY get used for basting in this family of 10.

I'm David Archuleta messaging the hubster on Grindr.

I'm the immigrant gardener. I'm doing the Mr. & the Mrs.

R5 Colombia the country, not Columbia the school.

It's the same damned word, however it is spelled.

Americans tend to spell it with the U.

I'm the husband's "fishing trips" with his "best friend"

I'm the husband's smooth balls, heavy and full of cum. I only get relief when his dreams about Micah Plath become too intense.

I'm the multiple MLMs (multi-level marketing, not man-loving-man!).

I'm hubbie's pristine and immaculate anus, and I sure seem to be getting more attention these days. I mean, it's not bad, but I don't know if he should be doing ... that.

We're the 7 kids! Breelee,Tamzana, Jazzlyn, Wyattree, Chebliegh, Morcontiegh and baby Summerseve

I'm the husband's grindr account. I "need to be discreet"

I’m the busybody neighbor who tells the wife that she saw their minivan parked outside the gay club. Again.

(True story: I have never seen so many minivans with car seats than in the parking lot of a gay club in SLC.)

I’ll be the sense of superiority that is felt over others.

I'll be the data center that the members run for the intelligence service, that hoovers up all our info into it's gaping maw.

I’ll be the squeaky-clean, white bread, pasty and sterile veneer that hides the sinister culture that lies beneath.

I’m the skipped portion of Funeral Potatoes. I was too high in carbs and might ruin any hope for a six-pack.

I’m the weekly trips to Costco where I spend an average $1200 every time I go.

Im the married man with kids hiding a ribald past as a gay stripper in Hollywood as I penetrate her ass

Tell me more about closeted Mormons. I didn’t think it was common for Mormons men to mess around. Quite the opposite. They are seem like prudes and the consequences would be too great if they got busted.

I think you all have been watching too much porn.

r30, try going to Utah and using grindr. Unless you're an obese 70-year-old bottom you'll get plenty of hits

Years ago I hooked up with a gay Mormon. It was fantastic sex.

I'm the Salt Lake City cruising parks and restrooms -- which the husband is very well-acquainted with.

I'm "Moose", recently 18 high school jock who is about to catch the husband staring at my almost freakishly large cock in the locker room at the gym. I'm entirely straight, but I'll be happy to trade him a belly full of my semen for the cash in his wallet.

After several "donations", I'll make the discovery that his ass is tighter than the youngest cheerleader pussy I've ever had, and that he can take my whole cock.

No homo.

I'm the anti-gay politicians he supports!

I’m the trampoline in every Mormon backyard.

I’m the wedding in the ward “cultural hall.” No basketball playing, please.

Are Mormons allowed to masturbate?

I'm the new Mormon wife who's absolutely thrilled that my husband and younger brother get along so well.

I'm the pages of the Bible stuck together with jizz. This book sure has some racy quotations..."on the third day He rose again...?"

I'm the husband's gay face, which somehow blends in within all the family photos, because EVERYONE is ALWAYS smiling like there's fresh-baked cookies ready to come out of the oven!

[quote] Let's be a married Mormon couple

Otherwise referred to as: "Let's be the straight spouse in a mixed orientation marriage."

R39 What could be more wholesome than wrestling or dressing up as gladiators?

I'm same sex attraction disorder

I’m the plastic surgery and cosmetic dentistry they both just got for the third time because they should look their best for the lord

R38, I've always thought that's what the magic underwear was supposed to prevent.

I’m the life I could have led disappearing over the horizon.

Mormons are so corny.

I'm the BYU tea rooms

We're the couple who still practices "soaking" even after marriage!

I'm the husband's "best friend"

I've touched his dick more than the wife has

I'm the husband's dangerous porn addiction!